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Arbiters of Laughter f/f feet

ElFewja

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Arbiters of Laughter f/f feet
The Laughing Grounds

A multi-faceted sky of sapphire sparkled, lit alive by the bronzed light of that chalice of overflowing light that floated in the center of the sky. The light trickled down, rolling down the sharp walls of silver slate that surrounded the arena. A rustle of feathers fluttered as a single, pure white bird fluttered from the kingdom above, landing on a tiny alcove far above. A pebble rolled about restlessly as the bird landed before tumbling off, bumping down the steely wall, clicking and clinking, gathering or knocking loose a comrade here or there as it spun down the wall of stone, towards the flat center.

The pebbles clacked against the jagged arena ground, crashing against one another and scattering, filling the silent circle with noise. Opening her eyes, she glanced towards the bird, watching its friends and family, its extended relatives and distant acquaintances shudder through the air like a great moving cloud. They fluttered about the arena, fanning out, dissipating then coming together like sooty smoke whipping across the sky, drowning out the sun and sending rays of darkness raining around her. The pearl-colored birds landed, several at a time, all around the spiked crags that surrounded the arena, landing at differing levels and heights, their heads perched towards her. With a sniff she shook her head, sending her long, coppery hair into a wave that rumbled around her before splashing around her shoulders as the scent of moisture tingled against.

Crossing her legs, she set her bare soles over top of her naked knees, her crumpled and loose fitting white shirt dangling precariously, exposing her collarbone to the heated blades that the sun spit out. Blustering out a bout of air, she eyed a single bird that sat upon the highest peak directly in front of her, its kingly gaze looking beyond her, beyond the arena, out past the billowing forests that rolled away towards the sea. Closing her eyes, she raised her left hand and pushed her head to the side, cracking her neck before thrusting her arms back and leaning onto her hands, her palms skidding across the rain-smoothed flooring. Flicking the toes of her right foot, she felt her skin ripple, wrinkles writhing from her arch to the side of her foot before cascading down her heel.

Tilting her head to her right, she peeked through her eyes at the blindfolded woman to her right. She sat, her knees resting on a thick red cushion and her ankles bound within a stockade of wood behind her, her toes wrapped with gentle strings that pulled them up towards a small pillar of stone that drilled into the ground behind her. Her chest rose and fell rapidly, and her head remained tilted towards the ground. Her eyebrows narrowed and she twitched her nose ever so slightly while her right shoulder fidgeted, a slight shiver fanning up her exposed spine. Above them, another bird flapped heavily through the air, landing upon the arbiter's ring. The bound woman sniffed loudly and turned suddenly towards it, her bronze hair shivering and her eyebrows floating upward.

Behind her another pebble punctured through the mountain, rocketing downwards while gathering its brethren. The bound woman turned suddenly, tugging at her wrists, the rope twisting and screaming behind her while the heavy boards groaned under her struggles. More pebbles came from in front of her and she twisted towards them, then leaned forward and spun her head back to her right. Far above them, a loud gust of air roared past from the south. Turning her head onto her shoulder, she closed her eyes and let out an oaken sigh of relief, unfurling her feet from over top of her knees and standing up.

The bound woman's back stiffened, and she glanced towards the soft patting of skin against stone just as the birds on the southern ridge jumped off the ledge, extending their wings and letting the breeze take them away. "Wait!" the bound woman called breathlessly as she curled and wiggled her toes, sending exotic, delicious lines across her long arches. "They haven't passed judgment yet!"

Placing her hands on her hips, she looked up, watching as every bird began beating its wings, cawing and hissing before leaping off of their ledges and fluttering away. A hundred pearly feathers fell away from the flock, twisting and spinning, weaving around the upper portions of the laughing grounds like a hurricane. Shaking her head, she lifted her left arm and flapped her hair straight into the air, letting it crash behind her shoulder as she meekly spun around, trotting on the balls of her feet. The stones beneath her singed and burned her flesh, yet the word that dripped from her tongue like a viper's hiss sizzled against those stones all the same. "Guilty."

With a huff the woman smiled weakly, inhaling thin breaths then exhaling gasps as her head rolled limply forward, a meager smile curling on her lips. Letting her head dangle, she shifted her shoulders as she balled her fingers into fists, pulling at the metal pin that spun into the boards behind her. As she crossed towards the bound woman, the first feathers fell sharply, raining through the sky like pointed daggers while the remainder spun around them, twirling and rolling through the air, floating downward like the snow she had heard so many rumors of. Heaving out a slow, weak chuckle, the bound woman swayed her hips from side to side while casting out, "It seems that I'm always guilty in this game."

Tapping her foot down, she stopped and crossed her arms, closing her eyes as the ends of her hair dug into her backside. Tilting her head down, she murmured under her breath, "And I'm always innocent, it seems," before opening her eyes and hurling out exasperation. The birds continued to swirl around the jagged crowns of the arena, a few occasionally shooting through the middle and casting a momentary streak across them.

The bound woman chuckled, lifting her head and brushing her shoulder against her neck while her lips curved wickedly. Rolling her head back, she exposed her neck to the sun before spewing out, "Ah, what was that?"

"N-" glancing away from the restrained woman, she raised her wrist, swiping the backside of her hand over her upper lip before sputtering out in a forced, resolute tone, "Nothing." As the bound woman chirped out a serene chuckle of a response, a flash of white shot over her head, whipping down her backside and striking between her toes. Yelping out a squeal, she twisted her shoulders and rolled forward, giggling and wiggling her toes. As she began flicking her toes, desperate to discard the invader, the top of the feather fell downward, glancing against the ball of her foot, then falling flat onto the center of her foot.

Raising her head, she let out a "yee!" as she shimmied back and forth, waggling her foot in an attempt to fend off the judgment that befell her. Instead, it merely scraped back and forth, issuing its justice across her sole while she drew in and expelled bouts of air through clenched teeth. Treading forward diligently, she knelt down over the woman's foot, smiling broadly. Pulling her hand away from her hip, she let her arm swim through the air, her fingers waggling just above the woman's defenseless foot. Letting her fingers dance mere centimeters above the feather, she watched as it bucked back and forth, the ends gently spreading and sobbing along the woman's bound foot.

With just the tip of her finger, she touched the quill of the feather, forcing it to dance to its side, falling onto the outer edge of the woman's foot, its tip grazing her heel. Arching her back, she squealed again, then shot her head back and snorted at her compatriot. Slowly moving her hand downward, she rolled her thumb against her index finger and carefully pinched the feather away, making sure to pull only the tip of the quill so that the head brushed up the woman's arch as she lazily lifted the tool away.

A rumbling chuckle blustered within her lips as the feather slowly twinkled along the woman's wrinkles, brushing up the middle of her arch and dashing away, clearing it of but a smidgen of its guilt. The feathers tinked against the stone around her, rolling listlessly at the scant breeze that swirled along the ground of the arena. Their quills scraped against the stone as they bartered for passage through the arena. Standing straight, she rolled the feather between her fingers, eyeing the soles she intended to victimize and punish for their crimes of beauty and sensitivity.

Letting out a low, vindictive chuckle, she took a noisy step forward, then bent over and scooped up a handful of feathers that sailed beneath the cove that the woman's bound feet formed. Plucking them from her palm, she rolled her fingers into a fist before securely planting a feather between each finger. Twisting her wrist, she let the golden light of the sun glance off the glistening goshenhite feathers that she armed herself with. With a determined nod, she hopped into the air and let herself plop down, folding her legs beneath her.

The woman writhed suddenly, wiggling in place while a anxious shield of a smile of anticipation wept across her lips. She twisted her head to her right, peering through her black blindfold and over her shoulder, then spun it to her left, raising her chin and trying to eye herself. All the while, she rolled her toes, spreading them then curling them inward, sending long, thick wrinkles weeping down her soles. Lifting her hand, she felt glee overtake her face as she slashed downward.

The sound of the arbiter's calls clamored through the valley, drowning out the woman's shriek as the feathers danced her fate into her deserving flesh. Pressing her tongue over her upper lip, she watched the shadows that swirled on the girls feet as the birds flocked above. Wiggling her fingers, she cast the feathers in archaic shapes, twisting them to match the inclinations the guidance of the judiciaries that spun about above her. By their decree she swiped justice straight across the woman's foot, sweeping from the rising cliff of her arch and across the fields of wrinkles.

Feathers continued to plink into the ground all around them, several latching into small crevices and standing straight while others scattered along the stones. Letting the same breeze carry her arm, she struck smoothly down the edge of the edge of the woman's heel as she hunched forward, her hips twitching with a shock of a spasm. A shuddering cadence of a breath broke over her lips like waves beating at a rocky shore as she let her gilded laughter plink against her legs and seep against the ground in dire tune with the feathers around her.

Her toes pressed tightly together and rolled about, shuffling from side to side as the feathers wafted over top of them, grazing across them while their wielder knelt rolled her lips out and cooed lightly. Biting her tongue, the woman closed her eyes and swayed her face from side to side as though fending off the secretive feelings secreting across her soles. The bindings rustled as she shifted about, and the fabric of the pillow scratched against the stones while her knees buckled and hopped in place.

The birds flocked together above, clouding out the sky so that only a few sharp pointed rays sprayed across the ground around her, a swath of black enveloping her feet save the single ray that pierced her just below and to the right of the ball of her left foot. Clamoring the feathers into a frenzy, she began sweeping across both of the women's feet, careful not to block or touch the swaying bead of light. Her toes curled tightly into her flesh, pleading for forgiveness and turning her soles into choppy, stormy waters as her wrinkles rolled and flapped at the feathers, her bindings clanking and clattering as her ankles shifted and struggled. Clamping her teeth together, she drooped forward, swaying her hips as she cut out a razor sharp "please!"

A flash of deep darkness swarmed around her feet, but just as the feathers fell into a crazed frenzy in an attempt to end the trial, the swelling shadows bobbed and bubbled, then dissipated into a beacon of light. Above, the birds grew quiet, scattering, and she stayed her hands, withdrawing the gifted weapons, slowly lifting her arms away and tinking her knuckles to the stone as the birds settled into their roosts. The woman limply fell forward, grasping for air as she hung there, her face hovering above the ground as she drank in heavy breaths. Behind them the sound of wings flapping skipped through the air and instantly she lifted her nose slightly, her shoulders growing tense and her backside pressing tightly into her. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched as a bird hopped on the ledge then dove downward, sweeping low through the air and swooping straight downward before suddenly scooping up and skimming through the air above them. Lifting her arms, she carefully watched the bird as it neared, then flayed a single streak with every feather, cutting them through the woman's toes and across her heel with a thwp of movement. With a yip of "eeeh!" the woman pumped at the ground with her knees and shifted her face into her right shoulder, smoking out a thin giggle through her wiry lips.

The beating of wings came from their right as a grand bird triumphantly raised its beak to the sky then leapt down. The woman let out a shaky gasp and her toes twitched, infuriating a second bird across the arena to blast at the air with its wings. Around them, the feathers scraped against the stones and as the first bird streaked down the mountain side, a third in front of her began to flap while the second bounded down. One at a time, several more birds fanned their armfuls of justice outward and hopped from the stone, sweeping through the air while the woman drank in sharp gasps, turning her blind eyes all about as she tried to catch wind of those that meant to judge her.

As the first streaked by, dampening her soles with shadow, she let the feathers in her right hand strip over the edges of her foot, scrawling downward into the depths of her arches. A strained "ee-eeehp" broke through the woman's teeth as she stretched her neck out and gulped in a gasp. Allowing them a moment to spiral around at the lowest points between both arches, she quickly swiped the feather across before the light could catch it. The second bird crawled above them at a slow pace, allowing her to twist and spiral the feathers in arcs over her heels, satiating them of their needs before looping around the outer edges of her arches while her toes waggled at their fate. Sucking in air through her teeth, the woman shiver, her toes spreading and wiggling despite their bonds. With a chirp of a giggle, a broad smile wrapped into her cheeks as the feathers sambaed over and between her toes, punishing them for their dastardly crimes.

While the second bird seemed to hover over her toes for an eternity the third streaked high above, creating a sharp, pointed shadow that swiped down just beneath her pinky toe. Dragging the flat of a feather down her foot, she carefully painted along the edges of the shadow while the feathers on her toes dove between them, raking away for half a second before the sunlight scattered them away. The thin streak matured slowly, and the woman flicked her toes and wiggled her soles, attempting to displace the feather from the ashen line that writhed across her. Tucking her tongue over her upper lip, she pinched the feather tightly, arcing it in tune with the rhythms of her feet while her skin pulsed and churned, the choppy wrinkles bumping the feather's vanes up and away as it crested beneath her arch before tracing around the top of her first heel then around the outer edge of the other.

As the birds began to swoop across quicker, their cruel condemnations laying over top of one another, she allowed the feathers to trickle across the woman's feet in quick swipes and slashes, their markings beginning and ending before her prey had time to assess the damage. With each touch of the feather her head jolted out then froze, her jaw dropping and a single puff of a laugh punctuating the air. Her feet, too, splayed and sprayed out as best as the bindings allowed before stiffening in fear of agitating the arbiters even more, instead allowing their representatives to course over her without resistance, at least until the next batch appeared, sending shocks up her spine and forcing her to spasm, her pinky toes spreading out and further aggravating the pure white birds.

The streaks fell faster and faster, several splashing over her at once, forcing her to vigorously claw the feathers against her feet. Dancing about on her knees, the woman shriveled together, her shoulders rocking and rolling. The muscles in her back riveted as several shivers crawled up her backside, fanning out and spreading over her so that she shook about wildly while raising her face to the sky in search of reprieve.

In the distance the earth groaned under the weight of a rumble of thunder bawling from the sky. The woman's shoulders pressed into her neck and the skin beneath her left eye twitched as she mutely muttered "oh no." Above, the birds let out callous cries and flocked into a group, sweeping above the arena and blotting out the sun as they dashed towards the village. A roguish grin gripped her lips, and she sent the feathers into a furious flurry into the woman's writhing flesh.

Letting out a shrill "yeeee," she began twisting her shoulders while slowly rolling forward, grovelling above the ground in penance. Her toes continued to twitch and she bounced about as though shocks tugged at her back while her toes continually fanned out then flocked together, sending lightning arcs of wrinkles up and down the centers of her soles while the feathers hopped about, dashing quickly then leaping away to strike again. Just as she began to flick the feathers around the edges of her bound big toes, smirking as they curled and shimmied back and forth, a second low rolling growl swept over the arena.

Allowing the feathers to grow dormant, she lifted her hands away, clicking her tongue against her teeth as the woman tossed her hair back, her chin quivering as she beckoned out a panting "please." Without hesitation, she tightened her grip over the feathers and swept both handfuls up either side of the woman's back, twisting them around her shoulder blades and across her neck.

"Oh," she said, shimmying forward as she traipsed the tools back downwards, letting them meet at the small of her back before twirling them into many scraping circles, "but you've displeased the heavens." Tremors overcame the woman's arms and she sifted her head back, facing the throbbing black clouds that spewed across the sky while gritting her teeth and shivering. Spreading her fingers, she pointed the tips of the feathers outward and drew the long flats up either side of her back while the woman chattered and shuddered, her head pushing down into her neck.

The feathers fluttered upward, grazing her underarms. Gritting her lips together she thrashed forward momentarily, freezing before hissing out a giggle as she let the feathers crest over the edges of her neck and round her ears. A shaky pant of a giggle broke through her lips and her head trembled. "Don't do this," she said hotly, her voice thick and heavy like vapors falling through the wind. Around them, a heavy gust tore through the arena, scattering the feathers into the pathway that fell down the side of the mountain. With an executioners gusto, she slashed the feathers down the woman's spine, her shoulders jumping up to her ears as another shiver sent ripples across her skin.

With a quick swipe of her shoulder, she brushed at her chin then drug her face downward so that she scratched at her cheek. The bound woman sat, shivering as though she stood naked in a snowstorm, her upper lip twitching and her lips flinching into her cheeks. A dastardly grin grew onto her face, and she bent her elbows, painstakingly scrawling the feathers into the woman's flesh as she very slowly drew them upward over her smooth skin. Sucking in quick, shaky gulps of guilty air, her head rolled backward and she shook wildly as the feathers scraped away at her, curving up the bones that pushed out of her backside before drifting down either side of them. With a quick swipe, she skirted around the woman's hair and slashed at the exposed sides of her neck.

A purple flash overtook the sky above them and the earth around them crackled as if it were being split apart. As the world continued to groan and rumble, a thick wall of air blew through them, blowing the bound woman upright and sending her hair bouncing through the air. Lowering her own head, she shielded her face as her hair flapped about her, the feathers between her fingers darting away, flying through the air while the bound woman sniffled and gasped, turning her head abruptly as the dark mass of clouds slid across the sun, casting a long shadow that spread across the arena, dousing it in night. The shadow crept towards them at a maddened pace and she raised her hands, curving her fingers like claws and diving towards the woman's feet the instant the darkness overtook them.

Tapping her index finger beneath the ball of the woman's foot, she swiped a thin, quick strike then flew away while plucking the middle finger of her other hand in the center of the woman's foot. Reeling back, the woman gasped then shrieked out a frigid "Yeaeee-aaahhh!" as her body convulsed. Her feet shook back and forth,her toes attempting to fend off the fingers that slowly dropped against her one at a time, lilting a tiny imprint into them before dashing away. As her pinky drifted downward, peeling back another shrill "yeee!" from the edge of the woman's foot, thunder pounded and grumbled.

With a quick glance upward she saw the pathway ahead grow dark and the thin sheet of ocean hidden behind a shimmering veil. The veil approached at a deafening pace, and soon the rush of water met her ears while large, delirious drops landed against the dusty stones, pouncing and splattering upon contact. Swiping the third finger on her left hand down the left of the woman's arch, the index of her right pressed into her ball, sweeping around it as her third finger rolled away. The woman writhed and spun her shoulders, bouncing on both of her knees as she called out, "Please!" The middle finger of her right hand dug in as the index finger rose up and her pinky quickly replace the middle finger, slathering underneath the woman's toes. "Forgive me!" she shrieked wildly at the sky while her lips wrapped together and she bundled into a chortling bluster of a mess, crumpling downward.

Leaning forward, she blew heated words towards her comrade, her words rinsing over the woman's bare shoulders like sooty smoke. "The arbiters have left," she called out as the woman bucked down, a quiet sob smoldering from her. Allowing her fingers to rattle against her soles, she felt them tink away quickly, several touches tinkling away each second though she still only harassed her with a single finger at a time.

A shuddering moan tingled against the woman's lips. She shut her mouth tightly, fiercely twisting in place while her toes railed maddeningly against their bonds. A grumble of suppressed laughter toiled within her and another gale tore through the arena, bringing with it the torrential downpour that assailed the sea. A sulking "I'm sorry," dripped from her lips as the drops splattered against her, several streams of water pouring down either side of her shoulders.

"Good," she said before flicking her fingers out and streaking her nails straight down the woman's soles, tussling with the quivering flesh as the woman stretched her neck out, howling an "Aiee!" Clawing divine punishment into her, she raised herself and shifted her knees under her, prowling over top of the woman's flailing feet while subduing them with holy justice. Unable to escape, they instead floundered back and forth, bucking and trying to cast off her near invisible touches as she began hastily pawing into the woman's soles with bent fingers, sifting away at them as though she were hunting buried treasure.

Thrashing about, the woman screamed with sharp, pointed laughter, her jaw hanging loosely as she shook and trembled, thrusting her shoulder forth and bucking heavily against the bindings that secured her in place for her duty. Continuing to shower the woman's feet with affection, she watched as her body seemed to grow hollow, her never-ending shriek crackling against the rock walls of the arena while the sky above them hummed with a buzzing satisfaction.

Behind the wall of darkness that blotted her eyes she felt her eyelids shrivel and quake, then split wide as glorious sensation rained across her soles, the sprawling touches rising through her legs and into her abdomen, flooding her with hot, unbridled joy. Bucking and twisting her side, she bounced forward, her toes refusing to bend from the post and her ankles tugging her back, securing her feet for the torture destined for her. Around her, the rain fell faster, hundreds of the drops slamming into the stone arena around her. Before long, their cries outpaced her own, and though she felt her voice clawing at her throat she sat, in her silent prison as pleasure crippled her soles and choked her lungs.

Jerking forward with both knees, she bounced ahead then flapped back before striking outward a second time. The darkness around her swirled, and she felt herself falling through it, the world whizzing away from her. As though she sat upon smooth stone, her bare feet at ready before her, she felt herself whirling through the air, sliding down a slope while the noxious shadows toiled away at her, prying her feet of every secret she dared hide there.

Through the depths she felt hundreds of beady eyes glaring at her, soaking in her illustrious laughter as it stained the void around her. Shaking her head, she suddenly felt a wash of knowing grip over her shoulders and felt her mouth call out "no, no!" as the shadows around her bubbled into hundreds of talons that struck at her toes. Gasping and shrieking, she shook in place as the dark eyes nibbled away at her, their talons peeling away her sanity with their tiny, ticklish scratches. Feeling the emptiness around her solidify, she felt her fingers drift to dust, vanishing from her awareness. "No!" she called out, as her torso slowly fell away from her, her mind filled with the thoughts of her squirming feet and the sensations that wrangled upon them as she no longer needed to focus on anything else.

Descending into a furious bout of cackling, she felt her body floating downward faster and faster, the shade around her gobbling away at her, gnawing upon her feet with delirious abandon. For a moment she thought upon the endless hole she wound into and of what torment awaited her there, her heart rushing about, fluttering at the thought of all of the special things prepared for her and her feet. A tightness pressed into her scalp, then the thought was plucked from her, replaced by a clawing sensation on the smooth skin just past her arches. Laughing maniacally as the claws stroked upward, wiggling beneath her toes, she felt her thoughts pull away from her like grapes plucked from a vine as her mind was stripped away, the world smoldering and fizzling around her. With each thought taken from her, she felt another part of a massive map of her soles pinned against her, with hundreds of little wooden soldiers stationed in various places preparing to strike. A gleeful ringing spun within her as she saw the meticulous plans formed, then enacted against her until at last all she knew was was the bottoms of her happy little feet and their cursed, wonderful sensitivity as the sensations scrawled against them. Somewhere, she knew her body was flailing about, laughing at the commands seared into her soles while she screamed and cried out for so long that she knew of nothing else save this blessed state of suffering.

An indiscernible amount of time passed, during which she felt her body unravel into a dizzying puddle of string before being wound back up only to be unraveled again. Her mind blinked about, screaming as she teetered on the cliff of insanity, falling into it a thousand times only to be brought back by the agony that plagued her soles. The world seemed to spin around her, and she blinked slowly, becoming aware of herself body again as it stretched through the darkness, returning to her, the bottoms of her feet blistering with a prickling sensation that singed her like starlight. Her toes continued to twitch at the phantom touches but her body lay dormant, hanging limply, heavy and ready to collapse. The muscles in her cheeks blazed, and she felt a permanent smile chiseled into her face as she hung limply, gasping for breath. The air that entered her lungs swirled about like smoky incense and her body buzzed and hummed with a forbidden light while warmth sprayed across her. Raggedly lifting her head, she blinked several times as her feet thudded heavily behind her. Her hands fell from her backside and the darkness was dispelled, revealing a glorious, blinding light as she collapsed onto her side.

The world grew light and distant, and she groaned as she felt herself flutter into the air. Rolling to her left, she thumped into the body of her comrade as she stamped her right foot down, pushing herself up, the formerly bound woman laying like doll of straw in her arms, her limbs wavering back and forth. A touch bristled against her hair, and she felt the long strand that swept across her nose tucked behind her ear. Looking up, she saw the beaming face of the other woman as the world around her spun away, her comrade's footsteps subdued by the long thin puddle that pooled through the stadium. Creaking her head upward, she spied a large flock of white birds fluttering across the plains, towards the buildings that lined the hill that walled the field of green in. Smiling with exhaustion, she closed her eyes and nuzzled her head downward, embracing the pleasant cloak of warm ecstasy that wavered around her as her friend spoke in stately, guttural tones, "The arbiters accept your atonement."
 
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This was almost more beautiful than raw, but a sweet mixture of both. Well done, indeed.
 
Without a doubt, this story is a great masterpiece!!! I am very happy I had the luck to find it and honor to read it!!!

I have unfortunately to admit though, that it really was a pain for me to work through it. Perhaps it is a problem with me not being a native English speaker, though I thought that my level had gotten high enough. There were several words that just didn't make sense for me on the places they were put and their subsequent meaning. With some, even the dictionary couldn't help me. But I got the overarching meaning most of the time. (Also I believe you meant 'weary lips' not 'wiry lips' that one time? I feel that wire lips are not sexy....)

The greatest problem I had though was to differentiate the 'she' that was tickled from the 'she' that was doing it! It was such a fluent transition between the two even in single sentences that I had to reread Paragraphs and sentences several times before I could puzzle them together!!! This passage for example:

The bound woman chuckled, lifting her head and brushing her shoulder against her neck while her lips curved wickedly. Rolling her head back, she exposed her neck to the sun before spewing out, "Ah, what was that?"

"N-" she raised her wrist, swiping the backside of her hand over her upper lip, "Nothing," she sputtered out in a forced resolute tone. As the other woman let out a serene chuckle, a flash of white shot over her head, whipping down her backside and striking between her toes. Yelping out a squeal, she twisted her shoulders and rolled forward, giggling and wiggling her toes. As she began flicking her toes, desperate to discard the invader, the top of the feather fell downward, glancing against the ball of her foot, then falling flat onto the center of her foot.


I still couldn't figure quite out whose woman is saying what. Was the bound woman the one chuckling evilly? Or the other one? Did she ask 'Ah what was that?' because she couldn't see something? Or was it the other one that saw 'her' evilly chuckling? But would you even do anything evilly when you are held captive? Was the bound one then stuttering? It would make sense but her hands seem to be free as she wipes her lips so it must be the other one. Depending on who was the stutterer it also changes the girl that chuckled serenely!


That was a core man... but seeing that I still did it until the VERY end should prove enough how captivating your story was!!! Just please, use something to differentiate between your protagonists more often in the future, please! I beg you! I don't always have the time to invest this much effort and that would be such a waste.

Also, I have made some good experiences with Grammarly. It might also be something you might like.

Still, please don't understand me wrong. I just want to help! I really like your style, so please keep on writing such wonderful stories!!!
 
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It's because I'm spending significantly less time on the editing process these days.

In regards to wiry: I will keep that in mind. I have a very specific look in mind when I use that word. I can make an argument that wire is stiff, but the word itself doesn't imply bent or at angles. While these are characteristics of wire, I can see how that doesn't come off. I mostly just think of it as lips zigzagging.

Yes, I don't name my characters and that makes it difficult to follow. I missed that section due to rushing and will clean it up in a few minutes here. Thanks.

I updated it a bit:

"N-" glancing away from the restrained woman, she raised her wrist, swiping the backside of her hand over her upper lip before sputtering out in a forced, resolute tone, "Nothing." As the bound woman chirped out a serene chuckle of a response, a flash of white shot over her head, whipping down her backside and striking between her toes. Yelping out a squeal, she twisted her shoulders and rolled forward, giggling and wiggling her toes. As she began flicking her toes, desperate to discard the invader, the top of the feather fell downward, glancing against the ball of her foot, then falling flat onto the center of her foot.

So, I can see what I did initially. I assumed the break in paragraphs was enough to denote the change of speaker. Also, there's the hand which isn't bound, but you know. Shouldn't have to do detective work to figure out who is speaking. Ah well.

Thanks again.
 
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Throwback from the past because it was so mighty beautiful! Even though I didn't get all metaphors. One needs to have a vivid Imagination for this Masterpiece!
 
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