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It's so hard when you still love the person...

CapturedDoll

Verified
Joined
Jul 27, 2014
Messages
4,924
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48
:(

To give up the life you have together...

… for this.

Seems so callous and in a way is. Because when the roles are reversed it sounds insane. Put instead any other sexual fetish into place.

Yes... even I have to say Tickling can be a bit much. Or anything that controls you. Jesus Christ.

But I am so tired of going without it. I wish I wasn't.
 
As much as i love tickling, I still wish I could get rid of this fetish. it can make your life miserable when it comes to relationships.
 
Sorry for what you're going through but it sounds like you had to do it. Whether it's feet, tickling, bondage or whatever you're into you can't necessarily control your desires. You may be able to suppress them for a certain amount of time but at the end of the day you like what you like. In time you'll find somebody else that you click with mentally AND physically. I know it sucks now but it'll get better.
 
In a certain sense though, you're doing both yourself and the relationship partner a favor. It must manifest as a problem in the relationship and that puts stress on both parties. If you make the tough choice to move on, both people get a chance to find someone who can fulfill more of their desires and removes a hurdle to happiness. It's clearly something you've thought a lot about and are not making a flippant decision. It doesn't make it feel any better now, but you're giving both people a chance to find happiness. That counts.

HappyD
 
very sorry from here as well... there are some, in fact many, who will indulge. wish you the best
 
Right now it hurts, probably a lot. It doesn't mean you don't love them, but maybe not in the way you wanted or thought you did? If things aren't working, they aren't working. Remaining in those situations can lead to a lot of resentment and break down the relationship anyway.

You did what you feel is right. Trust yourself. Give yourself some grace and time to grieve. If you feel the desire or need, seek out a counselor for some extra support.

Remember, you matter. Your needs matter. And you determine what you need in a relationship, no one else gets to decide that. You deserve to pursue happiness :)

I'm sorry this hurts so much. I do hope things get better. If you have someone you trust, please open up to them and let someone be with you as you navigate this. No one deserves to have to do things alone.
 
Good lord, I empathize. As someone who recently started interacting with the community, I can understand how hard it is to live with this urge when your significant other/life partner/spouse whatever you want to call them, is not into your fetish - not even a little.

It sucks because, yeah you love someone for many reasons, often knowing they don't tick every box for you. What usually matters is whether they tick enough of the right boxes. And you hope that's enough.

But this thing we do here, it's many things to many people: a thrill, a turn-on, stress relief, revenue stream - again, call it what moves you. The one thing most of us here can agree on is that it fulfills a deep-seated need.

And that need will express itself - one way or another.

I like to believe that for all it's weirdness and occasional drama, there is a community here, and I hope you find folks who will support you as well as play with you.

Sorry if I'm rambling, but I hope this helps even a little.

You ain't alone here, Doll.

Sent from my LG-TP450 using Tapatalk
 
I'm so sorry Doll. It seemed like you were working hard on this. I know there is a lot to this. I pray you can work through it and find strength in the end. You are such a wonderful person. Don't let this make you different. Stay the way you are. You are loved here.
 
I feel for you so much. It’s the worst, yet it’s the best. I wish it wasn’t, but i couldn’t imagine life without it. I hope you get through this 💕
 
CD, I may be mistaken, but as I recall from your early posts, you indulged your partner in their own fetishes quite a bit. If they couldn't handle treating you as well as you treated them, it's callous, but true - You're better off.
 
There is nothing like sexuality for making a mockery of our self-knowledge. In our erotic lives our preferences do not always accord with or standards. We are excited by the oddest people, or sometimes the oddest things.
 
I can relate. You will get past this if you believe in yourself.
 
As others have already said better:

A relationship where basic needs aren't being met is good for no one. I'm sorry that it's going to be sad and unpleasant for a time, though. I'm proud of you for doing the right thing.
 
:(

To give up the life you have together...

… for this.

Seems so callous and in a way is. Because when the roles are reversed it sounds insane. Put instead any other sexual fetish into place.

Yes... even I have to say Tickling can be a bit much. Or anything that controls you. Jesus Christ.

But I am so tired of going without it. I wish I wasn't.

Without knowing the details of your personal situation, maybe it helps to reframe it like this:

You had love. You want the tickling. You can now pursue both at the same time. That’s what most of us dream about, right? Love and tickling.

Tickling is more intimate than sex. And without that physical intimacy love can feel like it’s missing something.

I wish I had been as courageous.

Go get your tickling and you might find love!
 
...ok that is sad and it is also I shame it has happened to such a nice person..but I believe like everyone on here that you will be fine and will be able bounce bk and come back stronger with a new surge I hope to finding someone who will like ALL of you including your tickling side.

An in the end that's what it should be about right in love? You don't just love bits and pieces of a person and what makes them.. them? You love it all! And if you don't get that from someone then surely it was right to end it and move on? to search for that someone special. Ether way my dear you are a strong and senseable girl and in the end you will get there:)
 
I'm so sorry to hear how sad this makes you. I can relate with how you're feeling. If you need someone to chat with please let me know!
Situations like this can be really intense
 
Tickling can be the most amazing fetish/experience when the hunger is fed, but when that monster doesn't get fed,it can be a real drag.
Been there!
 
If you haven't made any decisions yet, talk with your SO, if they truly care they will want to help find a solution to make everyone happy, if they absolutely can't stand it, maybe they'd be open to a 3rd party for platonic exchanges, but at least exhaust all options before severing anything.

That said, if you are miserable and they are uninterested in any possibility compromise, starting fresh with someone may be the best option.

I literally know nothing of your circumstances or what would be appropriate, so #GrainofSalt

Most importantly, I am so sorry you are going through this trouble and if you need a friendly stranger to just listen and empathize, shoot me a PM. I'm sure there are many in this community that would absolutely do the same for you too :)

Sent from my Z982 using Tapatalk
 
If you haven't made any decisions yet, talk with your SO, if they truly care they will want to help find a solution to make everyone happy, if they absolutely can't stand it, maybe they'd be open to a 3rd party for platonic exchanges, but at least exhaust all options before severing anything.

Actually he is trying after all... We had a talk last night and we'll be talking more today. Idk though... we shall see..
 
Personally, this isn't an aspect of myself that I am willing to change.

These bits and parts of ourselves, if they are as intrinsic to us as the blood we pump through our hearts, is as vital to our make up as any other singular aspect of self. It doesn't just get shut off. It doesn't go away. More so, it matures as we grow and understand it, as we embrace it, as we find what it is we want, what we crave, and what we desire from it. Time and again, people have weighed this as if it were just another phase, something to grow out of on the path to something more 'meaningful', or perhaps more normal? And when that decision is made, and families are built, and there are children, and all these other complicated things thrown into the mix, yeah, priorities change. But that doesn't seem the case here.

If this is important, don't feel like tossing it away to become something else, unless you feel the desire to part with it.
 
I wish I'd realized years earlier that trying to pose as a vanilla sexuality imposter would lead to so much sadness and feelings of failure.

But on the bright side, at least I've learned it now.
 
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