Share your nightmare stories of disclosing your fetish to your significant other

Do any of you have horror stories that resulted from opening up about your fetish to someone close to you? Please feel free to share if you choose to do so. Mine started about 8 years ago. I met a girl online and we started talking. After a few chats she opened up about being very sexual and mentioned she was open to trying almost anything. For whatever reason, in the heat of the moment and feeling close to her, I opened up about my fetishes for tickling and girls wearing pantyhose. She almost immediately seemed into it and when we finally met in person sparks flew. The relationship was very intense sexually and she seemed really into my fetishes. She was quite sexually permiscuous herself so I thought I had finally met the person that I was meant to be with. We seemed to bond emotionally as well so I thought for sure that we were going to be happy.

Well, after about 6 months (aka the honeymoon phase) things got real. She was 27 at the time and had been through a bad divorce. Her ex husband was a nightmare alone to deal with as they shared a child together. They would fight all the time and social services became involved (due to false reports) more times than I could count. My girlfriend denied having a mood disorder but she would have emotions that flipped like a switch. She would go from deep depressions to incredibly heightened energy and motivation, to screaming fits of rage all within a the same day (or same hour somtimes). I began to dread her over the years but she had one thing over me that made me afraid to leave.... my fetish.

She would threaten to tell everyone in my family and all of my friends about my fetishes. She would scream "nylons" as loud as she could in the apartment hoping the neighbors below could hear it and she could humiliate me. I told her several times I wanted to end it and she said she could text my mother pictures of all of her nylons and tell her what a freak I was. She used this on me for nearly the last two years we were together. The only thing that saved me was eventually her ex gave up seeing their shared child and I was able to convince her to move to the state her parents lived in to be with them as they were getting up there in age and needed help.

It was a nightmare 7 years and I regret from the start ever disclosing my fetish to her and vowed I will never open up about my fetish to anyone I date in the future. I'm now 38 and lost many good years of my life and realize I probably missed out on having a child/family of my own because I'm getting older and who knows when I will meet someone again. I look back and wonder if I could've accomplished so much more in my life if I wasn't trapped in a 7 year prison sentence from hell. However, the one thing I wonder about the most is that maybe all of it could've been avoided if I just never opened about my fetish in the first place.

It's good to open up about your fetish, and you did it right.

The problem was you let her threats get in the way of your happiness.

Never concern yourself with what you THINK people care about. They almost never do care about what it is you think about often. Never let the threats of another person revealing your fetish to people stop you from living your best life.

But knowing me, I'd take every opportunity to tickle the dog shit out of her for being a fucking brat like that.
"Call the cops. Between when you call, and they get here, there's ten minutes. In that time...tickle nuke."

I'd also be recording every interaction with this woman I had so that I would have tons of evidence when I got ready to leave, because that kind of crazy will also falsely accuse you of some thing.

And if she still spilled the beans about my fetishes, I'd just send my videos to the Ex Husband, and boom, kids are his.

Scorch that earth, baby.

Also, sorry for the tirade.

Don't be scared of what these crazy folks can do. You're more powerful than them.
You'll meet people, but you got to get out there and get to know more people.
If you want kids, get to know some women in an age range you can get kids with.

Good lord I'm still going...
I'll stop now.

Thanks Ticklecountry. You're probably right. It's likely not so much I opened about my fetish as I opened up about it to someone that turned out to have many, many issues of her own. Unfortunately sometimes there's no telling how crazy someone is until years into a relationship when it starts to increasingly spriral out of control. I'm not the vindictive type and her child was very close to me so I will always miss that bond, but the crazy of her mom was too much for me. On the other hand, the ex was an even worse pos so I didn't want to put the child in his hands so it was just a total catch 22 shit show disaster for me. Anyways, I managed to get out of it without it getting so bad I needed to get a restraining order so I will always be grateful for that. That being said, I will say it should be a forwarning to anyone that wants to open up to that "special" other person in their lives. Just make sure that other person isn't nuts and will try to use it against you if you leave.

I had a friend of 13 years. 2 years ago I made a mistake of telling her that I love ticklish feet on girls. She was and is an addict and on what? You name it, she was on it. She couldn’t hold a job or get a hold of her own life. One day she asked me because she struggled with money that if I paid for her getting her toes done, she’d let me tickle her feet. And I took the offer. I thought it was one and done and I wouldn’t do it again. But then she asked me if I could buy her cigarettes and pay for some pillows she needed, she’d let me tickle her feet again and so it happened again. Then it started to happen where anytime she needed something like a ride or gas money, she’d offer to let me tickle her feet. And during her alcoholic tantrums she would threaten to blab my secret love of tickling feet to everyone she and I knew. It was 2 years in a toxic friendship and she made me hate myself and made me feel ashamed for liking tickling feet. To the point I considered giving it up altogether. Almost 6 months and climbing since I ever talked to her again. I felt manipulated, used and taken advantage of by her. I never felt more disgusted with myself

Tickle Country said:

It's good to open up about your fetish, and you did it right.

The problem was you let her threats get in the way of your happiness.

Never concern yourself with what you THINK people care about. They almost never do care about what it is you think about often. Never let the threats of another person revealing your fetish to people stop you from living your best life.

But knowing me, I'd take every opportunity to tickle the dog shit out of her for being a fucking brat like that.
"Call the cops. Between when you call, and they get here, there's ten minutes. In that time...tickle nuke."

I'd also be recording every interaction with this woman I had so that I would have tons of evidence when I got ready to leave, because that kind of crazy will also falsely accuse you of some thing.

And if she still spilled the beans about my fetishes, I'd just send my videos to the Ex Husband, and boom, kids are his.

Scorch that earth, baby.

Also, sorry for the tirade.

Don't be scared of what these crazy folks can do. You're more powerful than them.
You'll meet people, but you got to get out there and get to know more people.
If you want kids, get to know some women in an age range you can get kids with.

Good lord I'm still going...
I'll stop now.

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I was going to say everything TickleCountry said, but he said it better than me and with more eloquence! I especially agree about recording everything - from now on, get the shit recorded, get things on paper, dot those "I's"
and cross those "T's." Getting fucked over is never good, but it turns you into someone who does things like this. Just like going through a health crisis will turn you into a healthy eater, or dealing with bully debt collectors
will turn you into someone who's debt free and smart about money.

I had an asshole boss who'd make weird sexual comments at women, and Human Resources were either too pussified to tell him anything, or would defend him! The women would had to just quit. But he always made sure to
do it where there weren't cameras or anyone around to hear.

It's hard as hell to deal with crazy, evil people, and they'll fuck you up for a long time. But don't let their darkness kill your light.

Now that you're battle hardened, get out there and try again. I knew a great guy who was dating my ex-cousin-in-law, who was the evil bitch. In that case, she eventually broke up with him....after SHE had an affair, then
accused HIM of having an affair, but that's what crazy does.
However he eventually found someone awesome, got married, looks better and healthier - he always looked kind of shabby with the evil one, but cleaned himself up after he met his cool wife.

I wish Thanos would have snapped all these nasty people out of existence, but sadly they're everywhere.
I've known popular fantastic girls who met an abusive asshole, then they just ...went away, because those guys totally control them.

BUT....I've known fantastic guys and fantastic girls who'll make your life better when they come into it, so always remember, those folks are out there.

TKFan1 said:

I had a friend of 13 years. 2 years ago I made a mistake of telling her that I love ticklish feet on girls. She was and is an addict and on what? You name it, she was on it. She couldn’t hold a job or get a hold of her own life. One day she asked me because she struggled with money that if I paid for her getting her toes done, she’d let me tickle her feet. And I took the offer. I thought it was one and done and I wouldn’t do it again. But then she asked me if I could buy her cigarettes and pay for some pillows she needed, she’d let me tickle her feet again and so it happened again. Then it started to happen where anytime she needed something like a ride or gas money, she’d offer to let me tickle her feet. And during her alcoholic tantrums she would threaten to blab my secret love of tickling feet to everyone she and I knew. It was 2 years in a toxic friendship and she made me hate myself and made me feel ashamed for liking tickling feet. To the point I considered giving it up altogether. Almost 6 months and climbing since I ever talked to her again. I felt manipulated, used and taken advantage of by her. I never felt more disgusted with myself

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A common tactic, putting the frog in water an heating it up.
But always remember, YOU have the power in that situation because she needed stuff from you.
You just didn't understand the situation as it happened, but hindsight is 20/20.

A little reframing can go a long way in most of these situations.

Glad you're out of that situation.

I understand it's a very personal choice for people, but I've never wanted to communicate to a vanilla, unaware person, "Can I tell you about my secret fetish?" Different people react differently, of course, but the odds that someone will find it perivly creepy are too high, especially when an unspoken, gradual introduction by actually doing it accomplishes the same thing.

The fact is, even a vanilla person who actually doesn't find it all that creepy might get mad at you later -- like for say... breaking up with her -- and could try to shame you with it if you've communicated that you think there's something clandestine about it through an "admission."

It's the old rip the band-aid off slowly versus quickly debate, or get into the pool step-by-step versus a plunge. We all know the arguments on both sides. But for me, a gradual increase without having a big "talk" or "confession" always made far more sense.

brotherted said:

But for me, a gradual increase without having a big "talk" or "confession" always made far more sense.

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This^^^^ I've never "confessed" of my fetish to anyone. I just tickled them and if they could handle it I would do my best to satisfy them as kind of a thank you for letting me indulge. That way it doesn't put the "creepy" slant on it.

robmic said:

This^^^^ I've never "confessed" of my fetish to anyone. I just tickled them and if they could handle it I would do my best to satisfy them as kind of a thank you for letting me indulge. That way it doesn't put the "creepy" slant on it.

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brotherted said:

I understand it's a very personal choice for people, but I've never wanted to communicate to a vanilla, unaware person, "Can I tell you about my secret fetish?" Different people react differently, of course, but the odds that someone will find it perivly creepy are too high, especially when an unspoken, gradual introduction by actually doing it accomplishes the same thing without the risk of perving her out.

The fact is, even a vanilla person who actually doesn't find it all that creepy might get mad at you later -- like for say... breaking up with her -- and could try to shame you with it if you've made it sound clandestine, as in the OP.

It's the old rip the band-aid off slowly versus quickly debate, or get into the pool step-by-step versus a plunge. We all know the arguments on both sides. But for me, a gradual increase without having a big "talk" or "confession" always made far more sense.

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Slow and steady wins the race.

I agree with Tickle Country. Sorry that mess happened to you. But you've still got time to find someone, and you will.

TKFan1 said:

I had a friend of 13 years. 2 years ago I made a mistake of telling her that I love ticklish feet on girls. She was and is an addict and on what? You name it, she was on it. She couldn’t hold a job or get a hold of her own life. One day she asked me because she struggled with money that if I paid for her getting her toes done, she’d let me tickle her feet. And I took the offer. I thought it was one and done and I wouldn’t do it again. But then she asked me if I could buy her cigarettes and pay for some pillows she needed, she’d let me tickle her feet again and so it happened again. Then it started to happen where anytime she needed something like a ride or gas money, she’d offer to let me tickle her feet. And during her alcoholic tantrums she would threaten to blab my secret love of tickling feet to everyone she and I knew. It was 2 years in a toxic friendship and she made me hate myself and made me feel ashamed for liking tickling feet. To the point I considered giving it up altogether. Almost 6 months and climbing since I ever talked to her again. I felt manipulated, used and taken advantage of by her. I never felt more disgusted with myself

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I'm glad you got out of that. Toxic, manipulative friendships are damaging and those kinds of people will know how to take advantage of you.
That's why you don't let people shame you for your fetish.

cinder4d said:

I agree with Tickle Country. Sorry that mess happened to you. But you've still got time to find someone, and you will.


I'm glad you got out of that. Toxic, manipulative friendships are damaging and those kinds of people will know how to take advantage of you.
That's why you don't let people shame you for your fetish.

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Also why you don't go around engaging other people about your fetish until you know what kind of people they are.

Wolf said:

Also why you don't go around engaging other people about your fetish until you know what kind of people they are.

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People take a while to show their ass though.

Tickle Country said:

People take a while to show their ass though.

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Hence the phrase, "until you know what kind of people they are".

Wolf said:

Hence the phrase, "until you know what kind of people they are".

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But sometimes it's years into the marriage. I'm just saying.

Tickle Country said:

But sometimes it's years into the marriage. I'm just saying.

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I suppose it can look at way, provided you're only looking from one side.

cinder4d said:

I agree with Tickle Country. Sorry that mess happened to you. But you've still got time to find someone, and you will.


I'm glad you got out of that. Toxic, manipulative friendships are damaging and those kinds of people will know how to take advantage of you.
That's why you don't let people shame you for your fetish.

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I appreciate it. Yeah somebody asked me if I saw the former friend’s Facebook and I said no and she told me trust her, I didn’t wanna know. She only got worse. In and out of rehab constantly and trips to the ER, she could be dead for all I know

Interesting topic. It kinda sounds like some of you guys are ashamed of your love of tickling. Not accusing anyone of anything here, just sharing my views. But honestly, there's nothing to be ashamed. So what if someone found out you like tickling? It's not a crime. And also, we live in a world where everything happens so fast, and people forget quickly. We have a saying in my language that roughly translates as "every miracle lasts for 3 days". The idea is that in no time everyone will forget about your fetish, and they'll eventually move on. Nothing to worry about!

me4o said:

Interesting topic. It kinda sounds like some of you guys are ashamed of your love of tickling. Not accusing anyone of anything here, just sharing my views. But honestly, there's nothing to be ashamed. So what if someone found out you like tickling? It's not a crime. And also, we live in a world where everything happens so fast, and people forget quickly. We have a saying in my language that roughly translates as "every miracle lasts for 3 days". The idea is that in no time everyone will forget about your fetish, and they'll eventually move on. Nothing to worry about!

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I think it’s more times where we got burned involving it

me4o said:

So what if someone found out you like tickling? It's not a crime

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Earlier today, just for fun, I posted a question on Whisper, it's an app designed for completely anonymous Meme conversation. I wrote in a room "Guys Ask Girls", "Is tickling fun foreplay? Annoying to potentially torturous? Some of both?"

So far 12 responses -- all of them negative. Things like "If anyone tries to tickle me, I will not hesitate to break their jaw." "Torture, absolutely hate it."

I then engaged a few of the respondents in private DMs just to learn more where they were coming from. In an otherwise civil exchange, one of them wrote me, "People who have tickle fetishes are weird as shit."

Sorry to say, but she's not alone. Of course, you'd probably say "who cares about people who think that?" every time. But do you really want a certain percentage of people to be creeped out by you before they even know you? Aren't there females you could potentially date and win over to become great relationships, but if they think you're a perv from the jump, you'll never get the chance?

What if a fetish were even further off the mainstream, like wearing diapers, or dressing up as furry animals. Those aren't illegal either. Can you see how that being judged by vanillas on completely legal fetishes could create social life problems?

I'm sorry you had to go through that I've had girlfriends/potential girlfriends become distant or flat out break up with me when I've opened up to them about tickling. I'm glad you were able to get out of the relationship though. I truly believe being in a relationship with the wrong person is far worse than any loneliness ever felt being single.

"A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.” - Nietzsche

brotherted said:

Earlier today, just for fun, I posted a question on Whisper, it's an app designed for completely anonymous Meme conversation. I wrote in a room "Guys Ask Girls", "Is tickling fun foreplay? Annoying to potentially torturous? Some of both?"

So far 12 responses -- all of them negative. Things like "If anyone tries to tickle me, I will not hesitate to break their jaw." "Torture, absolutely hate it."

I then engaged a few of the respondents in private DMs just to learn more where they were coming from. In an otherwise civil exchange, one of them wrote me, "People who have tickle fetishes are weird as shit."

Sorry to say, but she's not alone. Of course, you'd probably say "who cares about people who think that?" every time. But do you really want a certain percentage of people to be creeped out by you before they even know you? Aren't there females you could potentially date and win over to become great relationships, but if they think you're a perv from the jump, you'll never get the chance?

What if a fetish were even further off the mainstream, like wearing diapers, or dressing up as furry animals. Those aren't illegal either. Can you see how that being judged by vanillas on completely legal fetishes could create social life problems?

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Growing up I knew a few girls who always talked about how they thought something like a foot fetish was gross and strange. On multiple occasions they would express these feelings. I've always wondered how they would react if they had met the "perfect guy" (I'm talking happily ever after and all that fairytale BS) who after sometime, during a moment of intimacy, opened up to them about having a foot fetish. Would they cling to their narrow views? It's interesting to think about.

me4o said:

Interesting topic. It kinda sounds like some of you guys are ashamed of your love of tickling. Not accusing anyone of anything here, just sharing my views. But honestly, there's nothing to be ashamed. So what if someone found out you like tickling? It's not a crime. And also, we live in a world where everything happens so fast, and people forget quickly. We have a saying in my language that roughly translates as "every miracle lasts for 3 days". The idea is that in no time everyone will forget about your fetish, and they'll eventually move on. Nothing to worry about!

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Exactly. Most people honestly don't give a shit. Some will like it, some won't.

First of all, at 38 you are nowhere close to "too late" to have kids. Plenty of guys have kids in their 40's, even 50's. I agree with the comments about presenting your kink gradually, and most importantly, conveying that you don't think there is anything wrong with it, any more than it's a big deal if a guy likes other guys, someone likes doggie style, whatever. That makes it harder for anyone to think they "have something" on you. Think about something you think is crazy, like for me that might be someone into one person wearing a diaper. If my buddy is into that, I really don't want to know. But if someone tells me "hey, your buddy is into..." it doesn't make me want to stop hanging out with my buddy. It does make me want to stop hanging out with the dork who told me something I didn't need to know and is a putz. The person you were dealing with is bipolar and not on the right meds if half of what you said is accurate. With the right meds, she might be okay. Plus, what could be more pathetic than having to blackmail someone into staying in a relationship with you? So feel sorry for her and move on!

For those of you reading this and burdened with very uncomfortable and embarrassing memories, you may well still be able to get the result you want even from women who think anyone who likes 'that' is some sort of perverted criminal.

In my bachelor days I always tried to encourage a subconscious link between tickling and orgasm by gently flicking my girlfriends with my fingertips in various places while they were climaxing. Done subtly enough it didn't break the mood, and in subsequent frolics could be increased slowly in intensity until giggles or even laughter would occur at those moments.

With quite a few partners, over time this ripened to arousal when tickling was employed as foreplay. Sometimes they'd orgasm even when non-sexual areas of their bodies were tickled. KT's one of that happily con/per/verted breed.

Calculated and Pavlovian? Yes. But a certain degree of calculation's needed for any sexual encounter, even if you've been sleeping with one another for years. It may sound trite, but regard her as a violin and play her accordingly.

brotherted said:

Earlier today, just for fun, I posted a question on Whisper, it's an app designed for completely anonymous Meme conversation. I wrote in a room "Guys Ask Girls", "Is tickling fun foreplay? Annoying to potentially torturous? Some of both?"

So far 12 responses -- all of them negative. Things like "If anyone tries to tickle me, I will not hesitate to break their jaw." "Torture, absolutely hate it."

I then engaged a few of the respondents in private DMs just to learn more where they were coming from. In an otherwise civil exchange, one of them wrote me, "People who have tickle fetishes are weird as shit."

Sorry to say, but she's not alone. Of course, you'd probably say "who cares about people who think that?" every time. But do you really want a certain percentage of people to be creeped out by you before they even know you? Aren't there females you could potentially date and win over to become great relationships, but if they think you're a perv from the jump, you'll never get the chance?

What if a fetish were even further off the mainstream, like wearing diapers, or dressing up as furry animals. Those aren't illegal either. Can you see how that being judged by vanillas on completely legal fetishes could create social life problems?

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You posted a question "just for fun" about your fetish, got negative responses, then reached out to the respondents to get them to elaborate on why they don't like it, and you're taken aback by the response?