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Not sure how to do this...
- Thread starter quinn65
- Start date
Tickle Country
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I suggest you build up your confidence. It can certainly work. You simply have to get your mind into the position of, "I know what I want, and if this person does not wish to engage, then I can find any of another 8 billion people on the planet to do this with.
Your plan can certainly work. But worrying it won't work is the first step to failure.
An idea that comes to mind is a simple craigslist ad. Make it vague initially, and then over the course of communication, release to the person bit by bit, without lying to the person, the intention of your work.
I suggest you interview the people as well, considering that it will be helpful for them to see you, and you them.
Most of all, be confident. Do not think of it as a friend with benefits. Think of it as a friend who lets you tickle them.
Be confident, treat your friend cordially, treat her with the same care you treat any good friend.
You will be fine.
Your plan can certainly work. But worrying it won't work is the first step to failure.
An idea that comes to mind is a simple craigslist ad. Make it vague initially, and then over the course of communication, release to the person bit by bit, without lying to the person, the intention of your work.
I suggest you interview the people as well, considering that it will be helpful for them to see you, and you them.
Most of all, be confident. Do not think of it as a friend with benefits. Think of it as a friend who lets you tickle them.
Be confident, treat your friend cordially, treat her with the same care you treat any good friend.
You will be fine.
quinn65
Verified
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2001
- Messages
- 1,317
- Points
- 63
Thanks
Good advice TC, thanks. Confidence generally isn't an issue for me. This is a pretty unique situation and one I didn't expect to find myself in, but once I push through the awkwardness of it I'm sure it'll be fine.
Still interested if anyone knows good resources, sites, or just general watch-outs.
Good advice TC, thanks. Confidence generally isn't an issue for me. This is a pretty unique situation and one I didn't expect to find myself in, but once I push through the awkwardness of it I'm sure it'll be fine.
Still interested if anyone knows good resources, sites, or just general watch-outs.
A little over 10 years ago, in fact while LOL was up and running, my wife developed a medical issue that has taken intimacy out of our relationship ever since then.
We've been married 25 years, and for a few years now she's been encouraging me to date and find a friends with benefits relationship to...well to stay sane I guess. The temptation is incredible, but I know that's not for me. I'm no prude, but I love her and there's a commitment there that means a lot.
Before LOL I might have denied having a fetish, but since then I'm pretty sure I do. So it occurred to me...if I enjoy bondage and tickling that much, and could find someone else who loves it, could that be a fwb arrangement that works?
I think so, but honestly I've been out of circulation so long it's hard to come up with a first step. So here I am on the TMF posting this question...
Do you think this could work? Any ideas? Has anyone had luck with..I don't know...an app or dating site for this sort of thing?
I'm pretty sure I'd be utterly hopeless in any kind of dating scene, much less looking for something like this. Talk about an old dog and new tricks.
But anyway, this seems like the place to throw it out there for ideas. If you have any (or know anyone?) I'm all ears.
Thanks,
Q.
One thing I'd suggest is to figure out what the boundaries are for both of you. You need to have an honest conversation, and be clear on what you're both comfortable with. If this is her idea, you need to clear on what that means, to avoid any hurt feelings down the road.My wife and I are monogamous, but we've had to have similar conversations to get to where we are. Feel free to PM me.
quinn65
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- Sep 30, 2001
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- 1,317
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Thanks Wolf. We have pretty thoroughly hashed this out over a couple of years now. She has actually been pushing it, and I've been resistant...moreso with having a traditionally intimate relationship outside the marriage but now less so with the idea of staying technically monogamous but finding more of a friend-with-shared-kink.
Sure, I get that. Over the years, we've had to hash out a lot of things over who we share our fetishes with and how.
As I recall, LOL was a great studio, with a real "friends getting together for laughs" vibe. Ever thought about reaching out among those contacts?
quinn65
Verified
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2001
- Messages
- 1,317
- Points
- 63
It was, thanks, and I did with one of them. But neither she nor the others are really into it in the way I'm thinking, and I don't think that would work. Plus they all know my wife, and...complicated.
It was, thanks, and I did with one of them. But neither she nor the others are really into it in the way I'm thinking, and I don't think that would work. Plus they all know my wife, and...complicated.
Yeah, I hear that. You don't want any hurt feelings, or any question of who the most important person is to you.
