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The perfect partner - What would you settle for?

chicago said:
It's always like this.

Sob story.

You provide examples, suggestions, etc.

Response: It's easier for - tall people / women / attractive people / americans / blood type AB

Then you realize there was never any real desire to exert the effort needed to find and keep a partner.

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As far as settling / finding the perfect partner, when I was single, I would compromise if they had a different kink than mine and it wasn't overly painful or disturbing.
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That's the thing most people don't seem to understand; for the vast majority of people (who aren't puritanical nutjobs) a fetish (especially one like this) is a relatively minor concern; but that takes treating them like real people, with their own likes and dislikes, rather than someone you get to inflict your interests on.
 
Honestly, I wouldn't settle.

Having a partner who's into tickling or willing to try it if they aren't would be great, but it's not the end of the world if they don't want to participate in tickling at all. It's not like tickling is my only kink, and I'd be happy to be with someone who shares my other kinks or is willing to try them.
I'll be honest though, I'm not sure if I could see myself staying with someone who's not sexually compatible. By what I mean by "sexually compatible", see Wolf's post.
 
I wouldn't settle. I didn't come to this life to be unhappy. I came to enjoy it, and having an ideal partner who isn't into getting the dog shit tickled out of her is just not something I'm willing to accept. Unless she accepts my other big fetish and doesn't complain about me hiring out girls for the tickling, I'm fine.
 
Someone shared this pic with me recently... Not the most profound or complete but close enough & it should obviously all be mutual.

If you're looking, I agree, there's no point "settling," that a successful relationship no doubt takes time & work & also requires compromise.

Someone else told me that finding a partner with the same fetish must be like Disneyland on a daily basis.... but everything or enough around that needs to be right also.
Enough needs to align that is important to you. It'll never be exact but who wants a clone?

....I believe it should really be like finding a best friend you're completely comfortable with, can easily be yourself with. :snoopy:

With easy & full communication.
 

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However --

You're far better off alone than with the wrong person.

*(And if anyone abuses you, emotionally, physically, male or female -- especially if violent, even once --- LEAVE. It'll only get worse. I've heard that too often,
and I'll bet the medical examiner has also.)
 
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tklfeet1 I see your point, man, and I have only one thing to say. When you finally get your girl, remember this: "Women will always try to find faults with you, unless you're being a really hard bastard to them. Then they'll look for your good sides." Keep that in mind at least.

As for me, I'm very well aware that the chance of finding someone with this fetish is slim to none, so I'll be at least somewhat realistic. I would settle for a woman with whom I share interests similar, but still different enough so that we can discuss things all the time. Woman with a kind soul, who is a good friend, and has kinky sexuality. Someone who wouldn't keep count of how many times we indulge each other in anything. I feel that anything less than that wouldn't qualify for a long-lasting relationship/marriage.
 
"Women will always try to find faults with you..."

Really? Reading that statement, in part or in full, "trying" is hardly necessary.
 
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First and foremost, a healthy and happy relationship should really include both partners being willing to “meet in the middle” sexually, and otherwise! I have never felt content in a situation where I feel like my partner is just appeasing me in my kinks, and those same individuals (unsurprisingly) acted that way about the relationship in general.

My husband was not specifically into tickling/BDSM/being a Dom when I first met him, but he took to it like a duck to water, and discovered many new things about himself and what he liked through experimenting. And he has kinks of his own that I tease him with because we both get off on getting each-other off. Regardless of what it is over, settling leaves nobody happy in the long run! If you think they’re the “perfect person for you” but they find no happiness in having MUTAL enjoyment sexually, or won’t at least try and partake occasionally, they may not be the best match for you! Move along, and don’t let the fear of not finding “the one” make you compromise your happiness with a person who doesn’t love you as a whole package.
 
Sharkiegirl said:
First and foremost, a healthy and happy relationship should really include both partners being willing to “meet in the middle” sexually, and otherwise! I have never felt content in a situation where I feel like my partner is just appeasing me in my kinks, and those same individuals (unsurprisingly) acted that way about the relationship in general.

My husband was not specifically into tickling/BDSM/being a Dom when I first met him, but he took to it like a duck to water, and discovered many new things about himself and what he liked through experimenting. And he has kinks of his own that I tease him with because we both get off on getting each-other off. Regardless of what it is over, settling leaves nobody happy in the long run! If you think they’re the “perfect person for you” but they find no happiness in having MUTAL enjoyment sexually, or won’t at least try and partake occasionally, they may not be the best match for you! Move along, and don’t let the fear of not finding “the one” make you compromise your happiness with a person who doesn’t love you as a whole package.
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Great advice about compromising in terms of a relationship. I have found in any relationship or marriage you need to have a give/take attitude and meet in the middle as you said. That was the marriage I had and want to have again in the future. It can't all be take on one side or the other, or neither will be happy because the one doing all the giving will resent the other at some point.
 
I used to only live the t-word life with my vanilla partners until my husband passed and I found you could join this place. After attending Nest 2018, I decided I couldn't be with anyone who didn't share the fetish. It made it a lot easier to know I could go to gatherings when I already had someone who understood how important this lifestyle is to me. So I made the decision to not settle. And I wasnt sure if I'd ever find someone to date in the community because 1) usually a person I find attractive doesnt find me attractive back and 2) I struggled with wondering if people who wanted to play with me would be into *me* and not just my ticklishness.

But I luckily did find a great guy in the community and even tho he lives in England and I live in America, our long distance relationship is worth it. We let the other play with other friends and play partners, but we have boundaries where no intimate stuff or nudity can happen in them. The interesting thing about us is that we both lean more to the lee side, but we share the switching quite fairly.

Its just a lot less stressful when you're with someone that has the fetish too because it just clicks.
 
Well, i'm not looking only for people with a tickle or foot fetish, but if they're not open-minded to accept i can have different interest than vanilla (at least foot fetish, i can understand if they hate tickling) there is not much to do.
 
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