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Weirdly uncomfortable situation

M

Michael Scarn

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Apr 11, 2020
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So I'm in this situation that is making me feel weird. I've been dating this girl, it's been a little over a month and it's been very open and honest. She asked what's something about me that barely anyone knows. I wanted to get it out anyway, so I told her about my tickle fetish. I was really nervous but she actually was cool with it, and quite intrigued. As days went by, she actually started talking more and more about how she really wants to get into this with me, which seemed great!

So some nights recently when were texting, she will be like "I'm in a tickle mood 😉" and at first I was really pumped, but there's an issue. She'd talk about tickling for like a second, and then she'd jump right into just straight up sex. It's becoming clear, she's just horny lol. That's fine too, but I'm getting a little annoyed that she's saying she's really getting into tickling, but she's clearly not. She even said she wanted to try some tickling role play via text and I tried to start with the belly/feet etc, and she just jumped immediately to "I'll tickle your dick." Like, that's great and all, but you work up to that! Like, if I'm in a tickle mood, I want TICKLING. If I was just horny, I'd just say I'm in the mood.

Also, she's obsessed with using objects for tickling. Feather dusters, toothbrush etc. Again, that's all good and it definitely has a place, but she never just does fingers/hands. I'm happy with her, and this is all just a stupid, meaningless rant, but damn lol. I'm glad she's trying.
 
I think it's ok that she doesn't meet you %100. I would be extremely glad if I met somebody fulfilled my expectations HALFWAY! I think that in time, she'l see that it means a little more to you. Give it time, and keep the commutation flowing.
 
Sounds like she's trying but doesn't fully understand what you want. Sounds like its not something inherently sexual for you. Maybe she doesn't know how else to initiate it. I don't know, but hopefully you and your girl eventually end up on the same page!
 
If it were me in your shoes, I would ask her if I could talk to her about the tickling and then just be 100% honest with what you really want it to be. For instance, if I were dating a guy and wanted him to tickle me, I would explain this is what I mean when I say I want to be tickled by you, and then go into detail. Let her know exactly what you expect to happen. Like feather_nympho said she may not understand what you want and that tickling doesn't always have to lead to sex, not that it can't, but it doesn't have to, and sometimes you just want to be tickled or to tickle her without sex happening. Then also at times meet her halfway and give her what she wants too. She may not know how else to express her interest at this point. Keep the lines of communication and honesty open and it will work out in the end. It sounds like she may want to join you in the tickling but just may not understand your wishes or just doesn't know how to express hers.
 
It sounds like she IS into it but also is expressing her wants. Yeah shes in a tickle mood but maybe she also wants to play with your member haha. Sounds like shes so into shes integrating it into her own wants and playfulness. If you rather have it done a specific way SPEAK UP, will be so worth it. Just my 2 cents
 
small victories mate...maybe try to explain it to her more..or tie her down so she can't jump right into sex..

Clearly a few teething issues, but i agree you should be thankful at what you have and it just needs some work. Don't give up! And good luck!
 
That was going to be my suggestion, tie her down. Then you can have your fun, then give her what she wants.
 
Is this a physical relationship, or purely interaction via text?
 
Why not both? Next time you meet her, tickle torture her while having sex with her. Then you're both satisfied. Personally, the fact that she is so accepting and willing to try tickling is more than enough for me.
 
You're complaining about literally hitting the dating tickle lottery mate.

None of my past girlfriends shared my kink right off the bat, but after forming a relationship with them would gleefully play along and a few even realized how much fun it can be and would ask for it before sex, as foreplay, or just because we were bored/stressed and needed a pick me up. For me it was always sexual, but like others have said it doesn't have to be. Just be open, have fun and live in the moment of it all.

Cheers brew.
 
Wolf said:
Is this a physical relationship, or purely interaction via text?
Click to expand...

This here what wolf has asked is definitely key to this for the moment until we hopefully get some further elaboration on the matter. If this is just a text based conversation at the moment, it’s possible to misread the context of what’s being said or what’s not. You don’t have the full picture of what is fully being communicated with an absence of body language and expression to help understand more. If nothing physical has yet to happen or you’ve not talked face to face, that I feel should be your next step so you understand each other more and get a feel of each other (in a emotional/bonding sense I might add) Texting is obviously making the situation be overthought.

Secondly away from that you seem to have someone on a surface level seem keen to please you and take interest in what you like. At the same time she is also communicating what she wants, which is now where realistic management of your sexual feelings comes into place with give and take. Life is not like a tickling video where we can just session with someone always, be careful not to just project your own desires on this person and work with her. Good luck however you seem to have met someone ideal, I hope it works out for you both :)
 
It sounds like she doesn't get it. "I'll tickle your dick".

But, it sounds like she is trying and is open to it. She's engaging in it with you.

All good things. Don't overthink this.

I mean have you actually had sex yet together or fooled around with tickling or any other foreplay?

Either way just get on together. You won't know until some more time has passed. A month isn't that long.
 
I'm thinking this has been a text-only relationship.
 
I like that you posted this.

I've been looking into the dynamics between people who have a fetish dating people who don't (which is often the case).
In your situation - you have a willing participant who is accepting, but ultimately does not fully understand what you need and why. I think for some of us, the T word is like a second way to have sex? Or like, it's just as important as having sex? And people without a fetish imagine that it's more of a way to trigger you into wanting sex.

Usually we love sex as well - but we love the "fetish" just as much.

The above has been my experience and understanding anyway.

My advice is to expose her to more information. Specifically expose her to scenarios where the fetish takes a front seat - and tell her/heavily hint to her that *this* is what you fantasise about. She is trying to meet your needs, but doesn't really know what they are yet - and this can be normal when all a person has known of sexuality is that it leads to actual sex.
 
Littlechambers said:
I like that you posted this.

I've been looking into the dynamics between people who have a fetish dating people who don't (which is often the case).
In your situation - you have a willing participant who is accepting, but ultimately does not fully understand what you need and why. I think for some of us, the T word is like a second way to have sex? Or like, it's just as important as having sex? And people without a fetish imagine that it's more of a way to trigger you into wanting sex.

Usually we love sex as well - but we love the "fetish" just as much.

The above has been my experience and understanding anyway.

My advice is to expose her to more information. Specifically expose her to scenarios where the fetish takes a front seat - and tell her/heavily hint to her that *this* is what you fantasise about. She is trying to meet your needs, but doesn't really know what they are yet - and this can be normal when all a person has known of sexuality is that it leads to actual sex.
Click to expand...

Top advise Chambers you little wizard you!
 
To clear some things up. Yes we have gotten physical in person. Just this particular example I was citing was over text.

Also to provide an update. I explained to her exactly what I meant and she understands now. We're all good. She's really cool! As a few of you said, open communication is the best way to handle it.
 
Michael Scarn said:
To clear some things up. Yes we have gotten physical in person. Just this particular example I was citing was over text.

Also to provide an update. I explained to her exactly what I meant and she understands now. We're all good. She's really cool! As a few of you said, open communication is the best way to handle it.
Click to expand...

Glad it is working out for you.
 
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