A few comments from my perspective here.
When we got up and running at the turn of the century the active population on the forum was almost entirely male. Women were extremely few and far between.
There were a lot of reasons for this, almost all of them sociological. Before the web being open and out about a fetish wasn't a common thing for most people, and there was a fair stigma connected to all things sexual. Males usually pursued their wants and were visible.
But the site in itself was not a female friendly place in my opinion. This covered not only the visuals, but member behavior and so forth.
One of the first serious projects I took on when I assumed the Admin position was to make this a better place for all users, but most specifically females members and male lee members. Both groups had a lot of issues being public.
I made a point of installing several female moderators, and put a foot down on misogyny and so forth. Over the first years this bore fruit and slowly our female membership increased. At the same time the internet as a whole was having an impact on the culture as a whole and opening up online was becoming more common.
Eventually we achieved a reasonable percentage of active female users. While in a general population there should be an equal percentage of male and females with a specific paraphilia it's always unbalanced in expression. Males tend to be more apt to be open and active approaching as many targets as possible, women tend to be quieter and choose their moments for interactions and approach males after observation. Not unlike greater dating behavior.
The banner ads as noted above are not female friendly. And that's one of the compromises we needed to a accept as those ads have kept us up and running all these years. While you all enjoy the TMF for free, it's cost an amount over it's 20 years that would make a lot of your teeth hurt. So we regretfully keep the ads to service. Most female members have shown an understanding of this.
The chat room is a different creature. Gender is always a question there, unless you see the member has been verified, or they have a public open personality in the community that has attended gatherings. People gender flop for a whole host of reasons. Women enter the room with their own goals and intents and that may not include talking to a new person, it might be to meet with a known friend they have built a connection with over time.
Getting to meet, chat whatever with female members here is a marathon, not a sprint. As a male you need to make yourself known and approachable by showing who you are in posts, and interactions. As you become 'known' you'll see a better rate of interaction. But it takes time and work. It's not easy, nor fast. Which is sadly what most people want.
This is a mature community in many ways, and becoming a part of it is not unlike joining any social group, the issue is that online people tend to think that joining part can be skipped or short cut.
Women are here, and you can meet them. But you need to put in the work to earn their attention and desire to invest in you. They have all the choice in the world. What do you bring other then your wants?
Myriads