“Parks and Recreation: Leslie’s Bad Day” Part 1
The Pawnee Parks and Recreation Department was buzzing with the usual activity on a Monday about mid-morning. Phones were ringing periodically. Employees were turning in mediocre work. And there were more than the average amount of citizens coming in to complain about the goings on in the town. Several women of various ages were fed up and very concerned about the latest development. Only this time it wasn’t an overpopulation or aggressive raccoons or a giant, unsightly pit filled with garbage.
For weeks now, a gang of masked criminals had been bothering poor, unsuspecting females. They were temporarily abducting the women and then tickling them to extort them for money. The ladies would be robbed of any cash they had with them and then be tickled until they gave up their bank account pin codes. By the time the women were released and walked to find help, their bank accounts had already taken a massive hit. The female citizens of Pawnee were sick and tired of being targeted and exploited by the gang now being called “The Giggling Goon Squad” by the Pawnee press.
Leslie Knope with the Pawnee Parks and Recreation Department had been assigned to help squash rumors about the tickling gang since the local police felt like they were close to busting the case wide open. Leslie didn’t understand why the gang was such a big deal to her town. She felt like the raccoon debacle was a much bigger issue. But Leslie had been asked to help by the Pawnee Chief of Police and she dove right in helping to reassure citizens that everything would soon be under control again once the criminals were apprehended.
A line of angry-looking women was lined up outside of Ron Swanson’s office. He had been fielding complaint after complaint for days now as he listened to each woman who entered his office talk about their own experience. Ron fought the urge to fall asleep as he heard how each woman described where they were captured, how they were tied up and had their shoes removed, and how they were tickled for so long that they finally just gave up and told the gang how to get their money. Every story was essentially the same and Ron’s advice to them all was to go purchase a gun and blow the bastards away next time. The women usually left in a huff after hearing that.
Ron wasn’t the only one fielding complaints. There were too many women coming into the Parks and Recreation Department for him to handle alone. Several of the women didn’t wait to speak with Ron. They just started voicing their frustrations to anyone in the office they could find.
Tom Haverford was listening to a busty blonde talk about how terrible it was to have her feet tickled. Tom was barely paying attention. He slipped his arm around her as she began to tear up and rest her head on his shoulder. He patted her in a comforting way and then tried asking if she was free later that night.
Jerry Gergich tried to tell some concerned soccer mom that he had no idea what she should do. “I just work here, lady,” was all he could say as he tried to fax a document distractedly.
April Ludgate was at her desk filing her nails. She was looking up with an annoyed expression and a blank stare as a floral shop owner rehashed how she had been bound with her feet propped up on a crate or something. She said she thought it might have been an abandoned warehouse where she was taken. The lady was very distraught as she described how the men had tickled her bare feet with a feather for what seemed like forever. The woman explained that she tried holding out, but eventually couldn’t take it anymore and told them everything they wanted to know. When she was finished, April coldly replied, “Well, I don’t know what you want me to do about that. I guess you shouldn’t be so ticklish on your big, dumb feet then.”
Leslie had been helping out that morning as well, but now she had retreated back to the tranquility of her office. She had a meeting with Pawnee reporter Shauna Malwae-Tweep soon. Shauna had set up the interview and said they could just do it in Leslie’s office. Leslie straightened her clothes. She had on light gray pants and suit coat, a salmon-colored blouse underneath that was mostly visible, and heels. Leslie was adjusting her hair a little when she heard a knock on her office door. After being told to come in, Shauna opened the door and politely greeted Leslie.
Shauna: “Good morning, Ms. Knope. Do you remember we had an interview scheduled this morning?”
Leslie: “Sure do. Come in and have a seat.”
Shauna: “It’s just me today so I’ll have to set up my camera real quick and then we can get started.”
Leslie: “Oh...your camera? Is this like a big, official interview about something serious? I just assumed you were wanting to interview me about Pawnee’s day to day progress with its parks or the community center.”
Shauna: “Oh don’t mind the camera. My boss just told me to bring it so I could get footage of you speaking. Something they might cut a clip of and put on the local news shows. It won’t take me very long to get set up.”
Leslie was a little surprised but then was more than happy to give a recorded interview of her beloved Pawnee town. She thought it might be kind of cool to be on the news giving an official statement about all the improvements her department had made to local parks. With approved funds for extra varmint control, the Parks Department had been able to mildly disrupt the nightly raccoon destruction lately.
“Yeah, I’ll open with that. Give the people what they want and they’ll love you for it,” Leslie thought you herself with a smile in an almost daydream fashion as Shauna finished setting up her tripod camera in front of the desk. The reporter aimed the camera so that it was focused on Leslie sitting in her chair and also included a good portion of her desk. Shauna took a seat in front of the desk and off to one side so she wasn’t in the camera’s view.
Shauna pressed “Record” on her camera and asked Leslie, “Ms. Knope, can you tell me about the unique problem Pawnee is facing with this gang of masked criminals? And what are you doing to ensure the safety of Pawnee’s female citizens who visit your local parks?”
Leslie already had a cocky smile on her face. With a boastful tone, she answered, “Well Shauna, I’m glad you asked that. And I agree that their facial markings do make raccoons seem like little masked criminals, doesn’t it? But first off, let me correct some misinformation. It’s not just the female population of Pawnee that needs to keep their guard up. Those little suckers are just as likely to bite a man as they are a woman.”
Shauna looked puzzled and was about to say something when Leslie picked back up again. She added, “But let me reassure everyone. The Pawnee Parks and Recreation Department is on it. We recently applied for and received additional funds to combat this threat. Our department has been able to purchase a couple of tranquilizer guns. They’re pretty cool actually. Only don’t point them down at your foot when you’re loading them. We did have an employee put himself out when he accidentally fired his tranquilizer gun. But that aside, our brave men and women of the Parks and Recreation Department have been working tirelessly to protect the citizens of Pawnee. Or at least until our tranquilizer darts run out. Which might be soon. That grant only allowed us to buy about 50 raccoons worth of tranquilizers. And with all the missed shots, we are quickly running out so...our brave men and women are working tirelessly for realistically...probably another night or two before we run out of darts. You’re welcome, Pawnee.”
Leslie just sat at her desk with her hands folded in a posed position. She had a practiced smile on her face as she waited for Shauna to go to her next question. The reporter looked at her dumbfounded for a moment.
Shauna: “Ms. Knope, when I say the masked gang of criminals, I’m not speaking of the local raccoons bothering people. I’m referring of course to “The Giggling Goon Squad” that has been capturing, tickling, and extorting women in your town for their money. What are your thoughts on THAT matter, Ms. Knope?”
Leslie’s smile faded from her face as she flushed red with embarrassment. She replied, “Of course you were. And I was just about to address this issue as well because the citizens of Pawnee deserve to walk in their parks without fear of being captured and robbed.”
Shauna: “And what do you think about the whole tickling aspect? Those poor women townsfolk that are unfortunate enough to become victims....I noticed a line of them waiting in your department to make complaints this morning.”
Leslie had not been as prepared to answer questions about “The Giggling Goon Squad”. She thought for sure the media would want an update on the raccoon situation. Leslie looked out her office glass and saw the line of huffy looking women all waiting to talk about their terrible experiences. Without thinking much, she leaned toward the reporter and said, “Well between you and me, the whole tickling thing seems a little silly. I mean really? Tickling? ALL these women gave up their bank codes and hidden cash because someone tickled them? Ha, that’s kind of ridiculous, don’t you think?”
Shauna: “No...no, I don’t. And this isn’t just between you and me. This is an official interview...”
Leslie’s glowing smile once again faded as she felt the awkward tension in the room growing. Shauna was reaching in her bag for something and told Leslie, “I think the citizens of Pawnee are concerned not only with the threat of abduction and tickle torture, but also by the Pawnee government’s lack of concern in addressing the matter. Ms. Knope, since you seem to think tickling is no cause for alarm, would you be willing to be tickled on camera just to show your fellow citizens that their experiences are not as serious as they claim?”
Leslie was visibly confused. She blinked a few times and tried to smile as she asked, “I’m sorry. What are you suggesting?”
Shauna pulled out a long, stiff feather from her bag and held it up for her to see. II think it would be beneficial to your female citizens if they could see one of their government leaders experience what they have. Prove to them that tickling is not that serious. What do you say? Think you can handle it?...”
Leslie focused on the feather as the reporter twirled it in her fingers. She tried to keep a confident smile on her face. “Really? Here? That seems a little...odd for a professional news source, don’t you think?”
Shauna kept wafting the feather lazily. She replied, “Oh I think it’ll be okay. You’ll just be demonstrating how ineffective it is, right? Shouldn’t take very long.”
Leslie’s smile was fading into a look of concern. She added, “I don’t know. It’s just...I’m just...I don’t think it’s really necessary, you know? I mean...tickling? Really? I don’t think we need to waste the viewers’ time by showing me being tickled.”
Shauna gave a half smile and said, “Ms. Knope, you don’t strike me as a government official that is willing to back up your position on this serious matter. Why is that? Can’t take a little tickling on your feet? Afraid that you’ll end up like the rest of the unsuspecting citizens of Pawnee?”
The camera was still on her. Leslie knew she was on the spot now. She mentally reassured herself and replied, “Yes, I’ll absolutely do it. It can’t be that bad.”
Shauna: “Excellent! Okay, stay right there in your seat. I’ll have to use some rope so you can really experience what these women have gone through. Go ahead and put your feet up on your desk.”
Leslie swallowed hard and did as she was told. This seemed very odd for a news interview. But she had already stuck her foot in her mouth. She had to back it up. Leslie kicked her legs up and placed her heels up on her desk. Shauna came around and began tying her wrists down to the arms of the chair. Then she roped her midsection firmly against the back of her seat so she couldn’t get up. Next, she looped plenty of rope around her ankles and tied them tightly together. Leslie was completely immobile now. She prayed none of her coworkers came in and saw her like this.
Things suddenly seemed very real when Shauna came up and slipped off her work heels, revealing her tan nylons covering her size 7 feet. Leslie’s soles were pretty. She had strong arches and her feet were meaty. Her short toes were evenly tapered and her red toenail polish was visible through the tops of the tan pantyhose. Leslie’s feet were trapped snuggly side by side on top of the desk and now with her heels gone, she felt that much more vulnerable. She wondered if this was how the female citizens felt when they realized they were trapped and about to be tickled.
Shauna stood on the opposite side of the desk facing toward Leslie. She bent forward and twirled the feather menacingly some more. Leslie wasn’t smiling anymore. She licked her lips and watched the feather intently. Why did she have to open her big, fat mouth about the issue and say something stupid like that?
The reporter waving the feather and brought it closer and closer to the bottoms of Leslie’s feet. Leslie couldn’t help but cross one foot in front of the other slightly in anticipation, like she was a fighter preparing to take a punch. The fluttering tip made contact with her arches and began trailing up and down the length of her feet. It wafted down the silky nylon-covered curves of her arches, swirled around her heels, and began traveling upward again until it gently flicked the undersides of her cute, compact toes hidden behind a veil of pantyhose.
Leslie tried to keep her feet as motionless as possible. They only jittered and jerked about occasionally as the feather licked at her soles. She gripped the arms of the chair firmly and tensed her body. Leslie knew she couldn’t allow the giggles building in her to escape. They would immediately betray her stance on the matter and make her look like a fool.
Shauna noticed Leslie squirming around in her seat and subtly sliding her feet around trying to dodge the feather’s unwanted caress. The reporter knew that if she kept it up, Ms. Knope would give in eventually. Leslie felt she was fighting a losing battle trying to flatten out the growing smirk on her face. The corners of her mouth were turning up in a silly smile as she fought back the urge to giggle. The feather trailing up and down her feet wasn’t making it any easier though.
Shauna: “So Ms. Knope, now that you’re in a simulated circumstance similar to what your fellow citizens have experienced, do you still stand by what you’ve said? Is the tickling really nothing to worry about?”
Leslie had to close her eyes to better focus on staying calm as she answered. Her feet jolted suddenly as she smiled even wider. Leslie reversed her feet so the front foot was moved to the rear now. But the tickling only persisted as the other foot shared the brunt of the feather’s attention. Leslie answered as best she could, “I believe that um...tickling is for the most part...a silly way to um...extort someone. And I think that um...we’ve proved that um...it isn’t that big um...of a deal.”
Shauna didn’t stop though. She continued tracing the feather over Leslie’s deep arches. She noticed Leslie wanting to curl her toes down, but fighting to keep them relaxed. The reporter smiled again and flicked the feather playfully up around the base of her squat little piggies. Leslie grimaced a little and focused hard on not shaking her feet around. She had to let the tip of the feather explore the small curves of her plump toes no matter how much it tickled.
The pesky reporter began wafting the feather up and down the length of her silky, nyloned soles again. “Oh God, how long was this going to go on?” Leslie thought to herself as she wiggled her feet more and more. One crossed in front of the other, then she reversed her feet again, and then wiggled her toes as she switched her feet up yet again. Giggles began to unwillingly slip out. Leslie felt like an idiot as she turned her head to the side, trying to hide from the camera’s view. But her body began to shake with silent giggling as her feet writhed around more frequently. The feeling of the irritating feather tip caressing her size 7 soles was becoming too much.
Shauna: “Aw, what’s the matter, Ms. Knope? Is the feather getting to you? You’re not having a problem are you?”
Leslie’s giggles started to become audible as her fidgeted in her seat while still looking away from the camera. Her cheeks were flushing red with embarrassment. Leslie soon bridged the gap into full on laughter as she brought her focus back to the front and began kicking her feet around. Shauna was quite pleased at the reaction, but didn’t stop just because she got what she wanted. She wanted to really get the government official to lose it; it would make for a much better news clip when her station aired it.
Shauna wiggled the feather into the deep arches, right below the balls of Leslie’s feet. And then flicked it up casually as she traced it around the undersides of Leslie’s toes. Leslie laughed reluctantly and jerked her feet this way and that to try and thwart the reporter’s efforts. But her feet were stuck in place and made easy targets. The tickling was almost constant no matter how much she wagged her feet to and fro.
Shauna set the feather down and came to the side of the desk. Leslie, thinking it was over, had a rush of relief as she began to breathe easy. Embarrassing, yes. But could she recover from that little episode and still reassure the great female citizens of Pawnee that there was nothing to worry about? She thought she could. That was until the tickling resumed suddenly. Only this time, Shauna was using her long fingernails to lightly scratch along the bottoms of her feet.
Leslie jolted and immediately began laughing heartily at the unexpected sensations. The reporter’s nails glided effortlessly across her slippery, tan pantyhose. The feeling was so bizarre and foreign to Leslie. She laughed hard and shook her head back and forth as he nails scribbled and slid with ease across her meaty soles. Shauna placed her fingernails near the base of Leslie’s toes and began scrunching them rapidly as she felt her trying to curl her toes down desperately to stop her. Leslie cackled and shouted laughter as she kicked her legs.
Shauna: “Whatever is the matter, Ms. Knope? It couldn’t be the fact that you’re being tickled, right? You said it yourself that tickling was no big deal and that your fellow Pawnee citizens shouldn’t worry about that. Or did you change your mind?”
Leslie just asked her repeatedly if they could stop the interview, but Shauna told her no. Then she began gently raking her cluster of nails down the silky arches down to Leslie’s broad, creamy heels. Leslie threw her head back and howled laughter. She felt so ridiculous right now. Here she was trying to be professional and reassure her citizens, only to be tied up in her own office and tickled like crazy by a sly reporter.
Shauna crept her wiggling fingers up and started scratching them playfully along the base of Leslie’s toes. She felt the squat little toes clamp down desperately. Laughter poured out of Leslie as she dug her fingernails into the leather arms of her office chair. “No, not there! Hahahahahaha!! Shauna, come on! Hahahahaha!! Knock it off! Hahahaha!! Be a professional about this!” Leslie shouted as she began twisting about in her seat wildly.
Leslie felt her heart sink a little when she heard the reporter ask her, “I have an idea...why don’t we play a game of This Little Piggy?” Leslie frantically tried to persuade Shauna not to. She hated having her toes touched. But soon, Shauna had one of her big toes pinched between her thumb and index finger. Leslie looked fraught with worry as she looked at her vulnerable toes thinly shrouded in her tan pantyhose.
Shauna began shaking her big toe and began saying, “This little piggy went to market...”
Leslie instantly began giggling and turning her head to the side. She tried to focus on something else, but soon found herself outright laughing as her toes were tweaked playfully. There was nothing she could do but endure the stupid, childish game.
Leslie shook her head about and laughed like crazy. Shauna moved down the line continuing the rhyme. Leslie hated the feeling of having her toes played with. Each sensitive toe tip was squeezed and rolled between Shauna’s fingers as she taunted Leslie. Shauna asked her, “Okay, are you finally ready for your little toe to scream?”
Leslie: “No! Hahahahahaha!! Don’t make it scream!”
Shauna took hold of Leslie’s pinky toe through her nylons and continued, “...and this little piggy cried WEE WEE WEE all the way home!” Leslie freaked out and thrashed wildly at the feeling. Shauna seemed pleased as she rolled the pinky toe in her fingers. Leslie felt like an idiot for laughing at such a stupid child’s game. But her toes were quite ticklish.
Shauna: “Ready for your other foot now?”
Leslie burst into pleading but that didn’t stop Shauna from starting up another game of This Little Piggy with her other five toes. Leslie was once again in hysterics as the reporter took her time tweaking each squat, little tootsie. Shauna could see her plan was working perfectly. Leslie Knope was laughing hysterically and soon she would have more than enough footage for a great news clip of her losing it while being tickled. Shauna kept scratching her fingernails across Leslie’s nyloned soles for good measure.
Leslie: “Shauna! Hahahahahaha!! Stop tickling my feet! Hahahahaha!! You didn’t mention tickling would be part of the interview! Hahahaha!! Give me a break! Hahahahaha!! Please! Hahahahahaha!! Just for a minute! Hahahahaha!! Shauna, stop it! Hahahaha!! Come on, I need to get back to work! Hahahahahaha!! This is getting ridiculous!”
Shauna: “Well, Ms. Knope...have you changed your mind about how silly and ineffective a little tickling is? Or do I need to keep going?”
The reporter’s pesky nails continued scratching along Leslie’s nyloned soles, making her belly laugh and writhe in her office chair. Leslie shouted, “Yes! You proved your point! Hahahahahaha!! It’s terrible! Hahahaha!! Now please let me go! Hahahahahaha!! I have to get back to work! Hahahaha!! The city needs me! Hahahaha!! Please! I’m sorry I said anything! Hahahahahaha!!”
Shauna gave Leslie’s feet one last scribble with her nails and then left the blonde panting in her office chair as she began gathering her things. Leslie looked discouraged and humiliated as she slouched in her chair, finally able to catch her breath. Shauna came over and untied her hands. Leslie thought she already knew the answer, but she meekly asked, “Shauna, please...I’m begging you. Can you do me a favor and not put a clip of me laughing and being tickled on the local news? It’s really not what the citizens of Pawnee need right now. Please just promise me you won’t use that video of me laughing.”
Shauna just chuckled and replied, “Enjoy your evening, Ms. Knope. And don’t forget to watch the news tonight.”
TO BE CONTINUED...
The Pawnee Parks and Recreation Department was buzzing with the usual activity on a Monday about mid-morning. Phones were ringing periodically. Employees were turning in mediocre work. And there were more than the average amount of citizens coming in to complain about the goings on in the town. Several women of various ages were fed up and very concerned about the latest development. Only this time it wasn’t an overpopulation or aggressive raccoons or a giant, unsightly pit filled with garbage.
For weeks now, a gang of masked criminals had been bothering poor, unsuspecting females. They were temporarily abducting the women and then tickling them to extort them for money. The ladies would be robbed of any cash they had with them and then be tickled until they gave up their bank account pin codes. By the time the women were released and walked to find help, their bank accounts had already taken a massive hit. The female citizens of Pawnee were sick and tired of being targeted and exploited by the gang now being called “The Giggling Goon Squad” by the Pawnee press.
Leslie Knope with the Pawnee Parks and Recreation Department had been assigned to help squash rumors about the tickling gang since the local police felt like they were close to busting the case wide open. Leslie didn’t understand why the gang was such a big deal to her town. She felt like the raccoon debacle was a much bigger issue. But Leslie had been asked to help by the Pawnee Chief of Police and she dove right in helping to reassure citizens that everything would soon be under control again once the criminals were apprehended.
A line of angry-looking women was lined up outside of Ron Swanson’s office. He had been fielding complaint after complaint for days now as he listened to each woman who entered his office talk about their own experience. Ron fought the urge to fall asleep as he heard how each woman described where they were captured, how they were tied up and had their shoes removed, and how they were tickled for so long that they finally just gave up and told the gang how to get their money. Every story was essentially the same and Ron’s advice to them all was to go purchase a gun and blow the bastards away next time. The women usually left in a huff after hearing that.
Ron wasn’t the only one fielding complaints. There were too many women coming into the Parks and Recreation Department for him to handle alone. Several of the women didn’t wait to speak with Ron. They just started voicing their frustrations to anyone in the office they could find.
Tom Haverford was listening to a busty blonde talk about how terrible it was to have her feet tickled. Tom was barely paying attention. He slipped his arm around her as she began to tear up and rest her head on his shoulder. He patted her in a comforting way and then tried asking if she was free later that night.
Jerry Gergich tried to tell some concerned soccer mom that he had no idea what she should do. “I just work here, lady,” was all he could say as he tried to fax a document distractedly.
April Ludgate was at her desk filing her nails. She was looking up with an annoyed expression and a blank stare as a floral shop owner rehashed how she had been bound with her feet propped up on a crate or something. She said she thought it might have been an abandoned warehouse where she was taken. The lady was very distraught as she described how the men had tickled her bare feet with a feather for what seemed like forever. The woman explained that she tried holding out, but eventually couldn’t take it anymore and told them everything they wanted to know. When she was finished, April coldly replied, “Well, I don’t know what you want me to do about that. I guess you shouldn’t be so ticklish on your big, dumb feet then.”
Leslie had been helping out that morning as well, but now she had retreated back to the tranquility of her office. She had a meeting with Pawnee reporter Shauna Malwae-Tweep soon. Shauna had set up the interview and said they could just do it in Leslie’s office. Leslie straightened her clothes. She had on light gray pants and suit coat, a salmon-colored blouse underneath that was mostly visible, and heels. Leslie was adjusting her hair a little when she heard a knock on her office door. After being told to come in, Shauna opened the door and politely greeted Leslie.
Shauna: “Good morning, Ms. Knope. Do you remember we had an interview scheduled this morning?”
Leslie: “Sure do. Come in and have a seat.”
Shauna: “It’s just me today so I’ll have to set up my camera real quick and then we can get started.”
Leslie: “Oh...your camera? Is this like a big, official interview about something serious? I just assumed you were wanting to interview me about Pawnee’s day to day progress with its parks or the community center.”
Shauna: “Oh don’t mind the camera. My boss just told me to bring it so I could get footage of you speaking. Something they might cut a clip of and put on the local news shows. It won’t take me very long to get set up.”
Leslie was a little surprised but then was more than happy to give a recorded interview of her beloved Pawnee town. She thought it might be kind of cool to be on the news giving an official statement about all the improvements her department had made to local parks. With approved funds for extra varmint control, the Parks Department had been able to mildly disrupt the nightly raccoon destruction lately.
“Yeah, I’ll open with that. Give the people what they want and they’ll love you for it,” Leslie thought you herself with a smile in an almost daydream fashion as Shauna finished setting up her tripod camera in front of the desk. The reporter aimed the camera so that it was focused on Leslie sitting in her chair and also included a good portion of her desk. Shauna took a seat in front of the desk and off to one side so she wasn’t in the camera’s view.
Shauna pressed “Record” on her camera and asked Leslie, “Ms. Knope, can you tell me about the unique problem Pawnee is facing with this gang of masked criminals? And what are you doing to ensure the safety of Pawnee’s female citizens who visit your local parks?”
Leslie already had a cocky smile on her face. With a boastful tone, she answered, “Well Shauna, I’m glad you asked that. And I agree that their facial markings do make raccoons seem like little masked criminals, doesn’t it? But first off, let me correct some misinformation. It’s not just the female population of Pawnee that needs to keep their guard up. Those little suckers are just as likely to bite a man as they are a woman.”
Shauna looked puzzled and was about to say something when Leslie picked back up again. She added, “But let me reassure everyone. The Pawnee Parks and Recreation Department is on it. We recently applied for and received additional funds to combat this threat. Our department has been able to purchase a couple of tranquilizer guns. They’re pretty cool actually. Only don’t point them down at your foot when you’re loading them. We did have an employee put himself out when he accidentally fired his tranquilizer gun. But that aside, our brave men and women of the Parks and Recreation Department have been working tirelessly to protect the citizens of Pawnee. Or at least until our tranquilizer darts run out. Which might be soon. That grant only allowed us to buy about 50 raccoons worth of tranquilizers. And with all the missed shots, we are quickly running out so...our brave men and women are working tirelessly for realistically...probably another night or two before we run out of darts. You’re welcome, Pawnee.”
Leslie just sat at her desk with her hands folded in a posed position. She had a practiced smile on her face as she waited for Shauna to go to her next question. The reporter looked at her dumbfounded for a moment.
Shauna: “Ms. Knope, when I say the masked gang of criminals, I’m not speaking of the local raccoons bothering people. I’m referring of course to “The Giggling Goon Squad” that has been capturing, tickling, and extorting women in your town for their money. What are your thoughts on THAT matter, Ms. Knope?”
Leslie’s smile faded from her face as she flushed red with embarrassment. She replied, “Of course you were. And I was just about to address this issue as well because the citizens of Pawnee deserve to walk in their parks without fear of being captured and robbed.”
Shauna: “And what do you think about the whole tickling aspect? Those poor women townsfolk that are unfortunate enough to become victims....I noticed a line of them waiting in your department to make complaints this morning.”
Leslie had not been as prepared to answer questions about “The Giggling Goon Squad”. She thought for sure the media would want an update on the raccoon situation. Leslie looked out her office glass and saw the line of huffy looking women all waiting to talk about their terrible experiences. Without thinking much, she leaned toward the reporter and said, “Well between you and me, the whole tickling thing seems a little silly. I mean really? Tickling? ALL these women gave up their bank codes and hidden cash because someone tickled them? Ha, that’s kind of ridiculous, don’t you think?”
Shauna: “No...no, I don’t. And this isn’t just between you and me. This is an official interview...”
Leslie’s glowing smile once again faded as she felt the awkward tension in the room growing. Shauna was reaching in her bag for something and told Leslie, “I think the citizens of Pawnee are concerned not only with the threat of abduction and tickle torture, but also by the Pawnee government’s lack of concern in addressing the matter. Ms. Knope, since you seem to think tickling is no cause for alarm, would you be willing to be tickled on camera just to show your fellow citizens that their experiences are not as serious as they claim?”
Leslie was visibly confused. She blinked a few times and tried to smile as she asked, “I’m sorry. What are you suggesting?”
Shauna pulled out a long, stiff feather from her bag and held it up for her to see. II think it would be beneficial to your female citizens if they could see one of their government leaders experience what they have. Prove to them that tickling is not that serious. What do you say? Think you can handle it?...”
Leslie focused on the feather as the reporter twirled it in her fingers. She tried to keep a confident smile on her face. “Really? Here? That seems a little...odd for a professional news source, don’t you think?”
Shauna kept wafting the feather lazily. She replied, “Oh I think it’ll be okay. You’ll just be demonstrating how ineffective it is, right? Shouldn’t take very long.”
Leslie’s smile was fading into a look of concern. She added, “I don’t know. It’s just...I’m just...I don’t think it’s really necessary, you know? I mean...tickling? Really? I don’t think we need to waste the viewers’ time by showing me being tickled.”
Shauna gave a half smile and said, “Ms. Knope, you don’t strike me as a government official that is willing to back up your position on this serious matter. Why is that? Can’t take a little tickling on your feet? Afraid that you’ll end up like the rest of the unsuspecting citizens of Pawnee?”
The camera was still on her. Leslie knew she was on the spot now. She mentally reassured herself and replied, “Yes, I’ll absolutely do it. It can’t be that bad.”
Shauna: “Excellent! Okay, stay right there in your seat. I’ll have to use some rope so you can really experience what these women have gone through. Go ahead and put your feet up on your desk.”
Leslie swallowed hard and did as she was told. This seemed very odd for a news interview. But she had already stuck her foot in her mouth. She had to back it up. Leslie kicked her legs up and placed her heels up on her desk. Shauna came around and began tying her wrists down to the arms of the chair. Then she roped her midsection firmly against the back of her seat so she couldn’t get up. Next, she looped plenty of rope around her ankles and tied them tightly together. Leslie was completely immobile now. She prayed none of her coworkers came in and saw her like this.
Things suddenly seemed very real when Shauna came up and slipped off her work heels, revealing her tan nylons covering her size 7 feet. Leslie’s soles were pretty. She had strong arches and her feet were meaty. Her short toes were evenly tapered and her red toenail polish was visible through the tops of the tan pantyhose. Leslie’s feet were trapped snuggly side by side on top of the desk and now with her heels gone, she felt that much more vulnerable. She wondered if this was how the female citizens felt when they realized they were trapped and about to be tickled.
Shauna stood on the opposite side of the desk facing toward Leslie. She bent forward and twirled the feather menacingly some more. Leslie wasn’t smiling anymore. She licked her lips and watched the feather intently. Why did she have to open her big, fat mouth about the issue and say something stupid like that?
The reporter waving the feather and brought it closer and closer to the bottoms of Leslie’s feet. Leslie couldn’t help but cross one foot in front of the other slightly in anticipation, like she was a fighter preparing to take a punch. The fluttering tip made contact with her arches and began trailing up and down the length of her feet. It wafted down the silky nylon-covered curves of her arches, swirled around her heels, and began traveling upward again until it gently flicked the undersides of her cute, compact toes hidden behind a veil of pantyhose.
Leslie tried to keep her feet as motionless as possible. They only jittered and jerked about occasionally as the feather licked at her soles. She gripped the arms of the chair firmly and tensed her body. Leslie knew she couldn’t allow the giggles building in her to escape. They would immediately betray her stance on the matter and make her look like a fool.
Shauna noticed Leslie squirming around in her seat and subtly sliding her feet around trying to dodge the feather’s unwanted caress. The reporter knew that if she kept it up, Ms. Knope would give in eventually. Leslie felt she was fighting a losing battle trying to flatten out the growing smirk on her face. The corners of her mouth were turning up in a silly smile as she fought back the urge to giggle. The feather trailing up and down her feet wasn’t making it any easier though.
Shauna: “So Ms. Knope, now that you’re in a simulated circumstance similar to what your fellow citizens have experienced, do you still stand by what you’ve said? Is the tickling really nothing to worry about?”
Leslie had to close her eyes to better focus on staying calm as she answered. Her feet jolted suddenly as she smiled even wider. Leslie reversed her feet so the front foot was moved to the rear now. But the tickling only persisted as the other foot shared the brunt of the feather’s attention. Leslie answered as best she could, “I believe that um...tickling is for the most part...a silly way to um...extort someone. And I think that um...we’ve proved that um...it isn’t that big um...of a deal.”
Shauna didn’t stop though. She continued tracing the feather over Leslie’s deep arches. She noticed Leslie wanting to curl her toes down, but fighting to keep them relaxed. The reporter smiled again and flicked the feather playfully up around the base of her squat little piggies. Leslie grimaced a little and focused hard on not shaking her feet around. She had to let the tip of the feather explore the small curves of her plump toes no matter how much it tickled.
The pesky reporter began wafting the feather up and down the length of her silky, nyloned soles again. “Oh God, how long was this going to go on?” Leslie thought to herself as she wiggled her feet more and more. One crossed in front of the other, then she reversed her feet again, and then wiggled her toes as she switched her feet up yet again. Giggles began to unwillingly slip out. Leslie felt like an idiot as she turned her head to the side, trying to hide from the camera’s view. But her body began to shake with silent giggling as her feet writhed around more frequently. The feeling of the irritating feather tip caressing her size 7 soles was becoming too much.
Shauna: “Aw, what’s the matter, Ms. Knope? Is the feather getting to you? You’re not having a problem are you?”
Leslie’s giggles started to become audible as her fidgeted in her seat while still looking away from the camera. Her cheeks were flushing red with embarrassment. Leslie soon bridged the gap into full on laughter as she brought her focus back to the front and began kicking her feet around. Shauna was quite pleased at the reaction, but didn’t stop just because she got what she wanted. She wanted to really get the government official to lose it; it would make for a much better news clip when her station aired it.
Shauna wiggled the feather into the deep arches, right below the balls of Leslie’s feet. And then flicked it up casually as she traced it around the undersides of Leslie’s toes. Leslie laughed reluctantly and jerked her feet this way and that to try and thwart the reporter’s efforts. But her feet were stuck in place and made easy targets. The tickling was almost constant no matter how much she wagged her feet to and fro.
Shauna set the feather down and came to the side of the desk. Leslie, thinking it was over, had a rush of relief as she began to breathe easy. Embarrassing, yes. But could she recover from that little episode and still reassure the great female citizens of Pawnee that there was nothing to worry about? She thought she could. That was until the tickling resumed suddenly. Only this time, Shauna was using her long fingernails to lightly scratch along the bottoms of her feet.
Leslie jolted and immediately began laughing heartily at the unexpected sensations. The reporter’s nails glided effortlessly across her slippery, tan pantyhose. The feeling was so bizarre and foreign to Leslie. She laughed hard and shook her head back and forth as he nails scribbled and slid with ease across her meaty soles. Shauna placed her fingernails near the base of Leslie’s toes and began scrunching them rapidly as she felt her trying to curl her toes down desperately to stop her. Leslie cackled and shouted laughter as she kicked her legs.
Shauna: “Whatever is the matter, Ms. Knope? It couldn’t be the fact that you’re being tickled, right? You said it yourself that tickling was no big deal and that your fellow Pawnee citizens shouldn’t worry about that. Or did you change your mind?”
Leslie just asked her repeatedly if they could stop the interview, but Shauna told her no. Then she began gently raking her cluster of nails down the silky arches down to Leslie’s broad, creamy heels. Leslie threw her head back and howled laughter. She felt so ridiculous right now. Here she was trying to be professional and reassure her citizens, only to be tied up in her own office and tickled like crazy by a sly reporter.
Shauna crept her wiggling fingers up and started scratching them playfully along the base of Leslie’s toes. She felt the squat little toes clamp down desperately. Laughter poured out of Leslie as she dug her fingernails into the leather arms of her office chair. “No, not there! Hahahahahaha!! Shauna, come on! Hahahahaha!! Knock it off! Hahahaha!! Be a professional about this!” Leslie shouted as she began twisting about in her seat wildly.
Leslie felt her heart sink a little when she heard the reporter ask her, “I have an idea...why don’t we play a game of This Little Piggy?” Leslie frantically tried to persuade Shauna not to. She hated having her toes touched. But soon, Shauna had one of her big toes pinched between her thumb and index finger. Leslie looked fraught with worry as she looked at her vulnerable toes thinly shrouded in her tan pantyhose.
Shauna began shaking her big toe and began saying, “This little piggy went to market...”
Leslie instantly began giggling and turning her head to the side. She tried to focus on something else, but soon found herself outright laughing as her toes were tweaked playfully. There was nothing she could do but endure the stupid, childish game.
Leslie shook her head about and laughed like crazy. Shauna moved down the line continuing the rhyme. Leslie hated the feeling of having her toes played with. Each sensitive toe tip was squeezed and rolled between Shauna’s fingers as she taunted Leslie. Shauna asked her, “Okay, are you finally ready for your little toe to scream?”
Leslie: “No! Hahahahahaha!! Don’t make it scream!”
Shauna took hold of Leslie’s pinky toe through her nylons and continued, “...and this little piggy cried WEE WEE WEE all the way home!” Leslie freaked out and thrashed wildly at the feeling. Shauna seemed pleased as she rolled the pinky toe in her fingers. Leslie felt like an idiot for laughing at such a stupid child’s game. But her toes were quite ticklish.
Shauna: “Ready for your other foot now?”
Leslie burst into pleading but that didn’t stop Shauna from starting up another game of This Little Piggy with her other five toes. Leslie was once again in hysterics as the reporter took her time tweaking each squat, little tootsie. Shauna could see her plan was working perfectly. Leslie Knope was laughing hysterically and soon she would have more than enough footage for a great news clip of her losing it while being tickled. Shauna kept scratching her fingernails across Leslie’s nyloned soles for good measure.
Leslie: “Shauna! Hahahahahaha!! Stop tickling my feet! Hahahahaha!! You didn’t mention tickling would be part of the interview! Hahahaha!! Give me a break! Hahahahaha!! Please! Hahahahahaha!! Just for a minute! Hahahahaha!! Shauna, stop it! Hahahaha!! Come on, I need to get back to work! Hahahahahaha!! This is getting ridiculous!”
Shauna: “Well, Ms. Knope...have you changed your mind about how silly and ineffective a little tickling is? Or do I need to keep going?”
The reporter’s pesky nails continued scratching along Leslie’s nyloned soles, making her belly laugh and writhe in her office chair. Leslie shouted, “Yes! You proved your point! Hahahahahaha!! It’s terrible! Hahahaha!! Now please let me go! Hahahahahaha!! I have to get back to work! Hahahaha!! The city needs me! Hahahaha!! Please! I’m sorry I said anything! Hahahahahaha!!”
Shauna gave Leslie’s feet one last scribble with her nails and then left the blonde panting in her office chair as she began gathering her things. Leslie looked discouraged and humiliated as she slouched in her chair, finally able to catch her breath. Shauna came over and untied her hands. Leslie thought she already knew the answer, but she meekly asked, “Shauna, please...I’m begging you. Can you do me a favor and not put a clip of me laughing and being tickled on the local news? It’s really not what the citizens of Pawnee need right now. Please just promise me you won’t use that video of me laughing.”
Shauna just chuckled and replied, “Enjoy your evening, Ms. Knope. And don’t forget to watch the news tonight.”
TO BE CONTINUED...
