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Do you believe it is easier for females to admit they have a tickle fetish or men?

PlayfulCarbonara said:
Also, some unsolicited advice for the op: Maybe try to pick a noun type and be consistent with it. It just looks a bit weird seeing “Females” and “men” in the same sentence. Either “women and men” or “females and males”, but just referring to women as females and men as men just looks weird, like women are some kind of other creature.
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Sorry I didn't notice grammatical error. Next time I'll make sure to pay attention better when posting about males and fe-men, I mean womales, I mean females.
 
Ticklerguy4u said:
Sorry I didn't notice grammatical error. Next time I'll make sure to pay attention better when posting about males and fe-men, I mean womales, I mean females.
Click to expand...

Well, now we know why you asked the question in the first place.
 
Woman have the advantage. Who cares what a guy says about his stupid sexual desires?

But if a woman chats about hers, the entire straight male population will listen obsessively in hopes of getting a bit.

And quit nitpicking about nonbinaries, etc.- you know exactly what I mean.
 
Sharkiegirl said:
That definitely may be part of the equation, chicago! I agree that there are many more posts here from men describing their woes than women. Though, I’m not talking about discussions on the forum. I’m referring to in-person discussions. A lot of the people that I sessioned with were having their first real tickling experiences ever. The reason being? Over and over again when they approached the topic with their (generally) female significant others they were berated, embarrassed, called a freak, etc. They got really wary of sharing this with anyone who wasn’t in this world. And even then were gun-shy.
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I also have run into that from the female side too Sharkiegirl. Most of my friends and family that I did mention tickling to look at me weird and then shy away from me for a while. So now I don't mention it at all and just talk with friends I have made from here, where I know I am part of the community and not an outsider into something not so mainstream in everyone's eyes as it it with us here.
 
I have a very small sample size to choose from, but I only confessed my tickling fetish to my SO when she brought the conversation up, reassured me a lot, and told me her fetishes first. I was VERY concerned that she would suddenly think I was creepy or messed up in some way. I had been so nervous and hesitant about it that she thought I was going to confess something much "scarier" than tickling. Eventually, that was one of the best conversations we had for our relationship because now we can fulfill each other's fantasies. But at the time, I was so worried to admit it.

I'm not sure if this comes down to gender or if it's more personality based or couple based. But ... I want to tentatively cast my vote to say it's harder for men. I don't know that women are viewed as "creepy" or "pervy" as much as men are. When a woman tells her secret desires, it's considered hot and fun, right?
 
BuckWild said:
When a woman tells her secret desires, it's considered hot and fun, right?
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That seems to be the general consensus from a male perspective. However some women say that women can be rather hard on them for their differences.

What.
A.
Damnable.
Shame.
 
BuckWild said:
I have a very small sample size to choose from, but I only confessed my tickling fetish to my SO when she brought the conversation up, reassured me a lot, and told me her fetishes first. I was VERY concerned that she would suddenly think I was creepy or messed up in some way. I had been so nervous and hesitant about it that she thought I was going to confess something much "scarier" than tickling. Eventually, that was one of the best conversations we had for our relationship because now we can fulfill each other's fantasies. But at the time, I was so worried to admit it.

I'm not sure if this comes down to gender or if it's more personality-based or couple based. But ... I want to tentatively cast my vote to say it's harder for men. I don't know that women are viewed as "creepy" or "pervy" as much as men are. When a woman tells her secret desires, it's considered hot and fun, right?
Click to expand...

In an ideal world, sure. Though if you're a female that would rather have a relationship with someone that understands the kink and you decide to try to navigate the various websites of this community, it can be really off-putting. Between guys that don't know how to converse with you without making you feel like a fleshlight, people tryna find you on other social media to out you to your friends and family, seeing the various posts featuring voyeuristic type images of unsuspecting women, it can be quite a let down at times, if not terrifying or devastating. Just recently a nice young woman made a personal ad and because she knew what she wanted and described such in the ad, she was deemed a waste of time and more trouble than she was worth by a man that never even spoke to her.

Edit - just wanted to add that I'm not saying anyone has it harder or easier, just that there are different challenges perhaps.
 
chicago said:
In an ideal world, sure. Though if you're a female that would rather have a relationship with someone that understands the kink and you decide to try to navigate the various websites of this community, it can be really off-putting. Between guys that don't know how to converse with you without making you feel like a fleshlight, people tryna find you on other social media to out you to your friends and family, seeing the various posts featuring voyeuristic type images of unsuspecting women, it can be quite a let down at times, if not terrifying or devastating. Just recently a nice young woman made a personal ad and because she knew what she wanted and described such in the ad, she was deemed a waste of time and more trouble than she was worth by a man that never even spoke to her.

Edit - just wanted to add that I'm not saying anyone has it harder or easier, just that there are different challenges perhaps.
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In the words of a wise man I once met, "The challenge for men in relationships is to find acceptance. The challenge for women in relationships is to find loyalty."
 
chicago said:
In an ideal world, sure. Though if you're a female that would rather have a relationship with someone that understands the kink and you decide to try to navigate the various websites of this community, it can be really off-putting. Between guys that don't know how to converse with you without making you feel like a fleshlight, people tryna find you on other social media to out you to your friends and family, seeing the various posts featuring voyeuristic type images of unsuspecting women, it can be quite a let down at times, if not terrifying or devastating. Just recently a nice young woman made a personal ad and because she knew what she wanted and described such in the ad, she was deemed a waste of time and more trouble than she was worth by a man that never even spoke to her.

Edit - just wanted to add that I'm not saying anyone has it harder or easier, just that there are different challenges perhaps.
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That makes sense to me. It's different for a woman in a forum full of horny men, I'm sure. I think I was looking at it from a different POV, of a couple already in a trusting relationship.

Teenticklehell said:
That seems to be the general consensus from a male perspective. However some women say that women can be rather hard on them for their differences.

What.
A.
Damnable.
Shame.
Click to expand...

Well, that makes sense. I agree, that's a big ol' shame! I think it also might depend on WHO you're mentioning your fetish to, though? Like, I would expect to be given a hard time if I talked about my tickle fetish with anyone other than my partner or like-minded people in fetish groups.
 
BuckWild said:
Well, that makes sense. I agree, that's a big ol' shame! I think it also might depend on WHO you're mentioning your fetish to, though? Like, I would expect to be given a hard time if I talked about my tickle fetish with anyone other than my partner or like-minded people in fetish groups.
Click to expand...

Growing pains. We all have to go through them.
 
Teenticklehell said:
Teenticklehell
Click to expand...

It's not so much the matter of perception. Spiders are creatures. Sexual fetishes are a different beast.
99% of the women I know(and most of those that I saw online, in videos and such) think that foot fetish is weird and creepy. Foot fetish? Feet are part of the freaking body, just as much as hands, butt, and breasts are. It basically shouldn't even be viewed as a fetish at all, but it's still something that's almost universally considered to be creepy. Tickling fetish is way worse IMO and is in some cases closer to something like BDSM. Again, that's how I see it at least. I know it's not the same for everyone.
 
chicago said:
chicago
Click to expand...

I understand what you're saying, but I still disagree with you on this one. It's significantly harder for ordinary men to get a partner compared to women, at least here in Serbia. Maybe that's not the case in the States, and we can attribute this to cultural differences, but I think things are pretty much on the same level in most civilized countries. And imagine if some random guy finally, after many months (or years even), manages to get a chance with a girl he likes, and then to risk to ruin it all by telling her about his weirdness...
I'm telling you, and this goes especially for small towns, bad or unusual news spread like a plague. And since girls are mostly pretty damn chatty with their friends, soon many people will know about your kink. So yeah, if you're a guy you may be at peace with yourself all you want, but chances you're not going to get any romantic attention from that point onward.

That's what I had in mind when I said women have it easier. I wasn't only talking about how difficult is it for someone to atter the words. We have to look at the consequences of those words as well, and from what I know those consequences are usually much more ruthless on men.
 
marbot said:
I understand what you're saying, but I still disagree with you on this one. It's significantly harder for ordinary men to get a partner compared to women, at least here in Serbia. Maybe that's not the case in the States, and we can attribute this to cultural differences, but I think things are pretty much on the same level in most civilized countries. And imagine if some random guy finally, after many months (or years even), manages to get a chance with a girl he likes, and then to risk to ruin it all by telling her about his weirdness...
I'm telling you, and this goes especially for small towns, bad or unusual news spread like a plague. And since girls are mostly pretty damn chatty with their friends, soon many people will know about your kink. So yeah, if you're a guy you may be at peace with yourself all you want, but chances you're not going to get any romantic attention from that point onward.

That's what I had in mind when I said women have it easier. I wasn't only talking about how difficult is it for someone to atter the words. We have to look at the consequences of those words as well, and from what I know those consequences are usually much more ruthless on men.
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It always seems easier for someone else when you're looking from your perspective; and a fetish is only a big deal if that's the most notable thing about you.
 
Libertine said:
Woman have the advantage. Who cares what a guy says about his stupid sexual desires?

But if a woman chats about hers, the entire straight male population will listen obsessively in hopes of getting a bit.

And quit nitpicking about nonbinaries, etc.- you know exactly what I mean.
Click to expand...

With all the cliche "no generalization necessarily implies you -- it's just statistics" disclaimer, I agree with this. Guys, especially young guys, are on such a detail-blind pursuit for sex, that they tend to be much less judge-ey about anything sexual than their female counterparts -- it's the gals who more likely judgemental. Even most women I know will say they've been judged by other women about sexual exploits much than judged by guys.

This reminds me of a time I had sex with a very attractive women, had included just a little tickling in the throes of the foreplay, barely anything... and she afterward gave me this disgusted, "what a perv" look and said "tickling????" I'm just not imagining a lot of guys doing that if the genders were reversed. The degree of tickling I did was so minimal, I was amazed she even eferenced it at all.

(To clarify: I've had plenty of positive reactions from women too -- and again, anecdotes don't prove trends -- just pointing out how that exaggerated sexual judgemental thing felt very female to me.)
 
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ive never really participated here in these forums, so one thing that was kind of a light bulb moment for me was seeing on pornhub, a fairly good percentage of
the users who were into the same videos as me were women. i always had the notion this scene would consist of men with a pathological compulsion, and women simply filling the economic demand. and of course, there certainly is a lot of that here as well, but...

apparently BDSM stuff is one genre that is particularly popular with women, so when you think of the fetish in those terms, as an offshoot of dominant/submissive paradigm. also, whenever some piece of writing or media concerning this fetish crosses over into the 'normie-sphere', if you look there are always a few women saying either 'i'd try this' or, 'damn i wish someone would do this to me'

so just the idea that self expression of my desires could potentially (not only not always burden me with an effective sexual disability) work in service to simultaneously fulfill someone else's diametrically opposed but complementary desires, went a long way towards not seeing myself as necessarily someone who would always enter a relationship with an impairment.

surely, that still means that to most people i would still be entering into the relationship with an impairment. this is where framing things can make all the difference. a tickle fetish sounds every bit as weird as being one of those people that are into seeing people inflate balloons. but what about calling your preferences rarefied, a niche offshoot of BDSM, dominant/submissive dynamics? these things are in vogue and have never been more well understood from the female perspective. also, as mildly embarrassing it was, i couldn't feel more lucky that feet pics have become such a meme, it has saturated internet culture which has basically normalized it in equal measure. i saw a tweet thread 'what was the fetish you always joked about but now you can't tell if you are joking any more' and the second most common response after vore/weeb/piss was people saying feet. like, one girl that lives in my area and was talking about someone walking in on her at the bar while she was taking feet pics for her onlyfans, i then realized we had practically reached saturation with normalization

also, my last serious relationship, i was able to redpill my girlfriend into accommodating me with very little trouble. i had a lot of self doubt that because it had worked its way into our normal sexual activity, that my enjoyment was always taking away her's, or at least not contributing positively. and while it wasn't completely smooth sailing because it became something of a requirement, i was reassured that she learned to enjoy it, and engaging in it made both of us horny. which is really kind of a no brainer from a dominant/submissive viewpoint: if you can manage to not be timid and own and relish the fact that you are doing whatever you want to her body and she is completely helpless/vulnerable, which cuts to the heart of what is these dynamics are all about. i don't think many women would argue against the idea that the hottest sex often enjoys some element of sadism. in fact, i've heard it said by a lot of people with no interest in the fetish that, as a fetish, tickling makes a lot of sense, especially compared to a lot of the other ones. i remember one guy on imgur—where oddly enough every time i've seen any tickling related media it was always upvoted by a healthy margin—said that tickling is the only fetish that he didn't hate on principle

so, TLDR as a man you should never admit, maybe under any circumstances, that you have something known as a 'tickle fetish'. that is the worst framing imaginable. instead i would recommend trying to be procedural and direct about your BDSM related preferences. and that while it will never be some golden ticket for you that is a key to open every door, at least take comfort that women exist out there that are just as horny for it as you are, and an even larger chunk will be 'horny adjacent'

i'll end by paraphrasing something Fyodor Karamazov said, something to the effect of, 'how good it is, that masters and slaves continue to exist in the world'
 
I mean, based on personal experience I do not believe women have it easier in coming out with their fetishes. Every vanilla gf I've ever had was pretty accepting of my fetish, or at least tolerated it. Nothing, no negative backlash or anything. But this is all anecdotal. If anything, as hypocritical as it is, I am usually the one in the relationship to be a bit more cautious about my SO's fetish/kinks (because I am not a super experimental person in anything I do).

I wonder if there are any credible studies on whether or not men or women are more accepting of kinks/fetishes? I know for a fact that there are many studies that women are far more likely to be experimental with sex than men; Despite the fact that women don't express or initiate them as much a men due to societal/cultural pressures.
 
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yes, i believe women have it easier when it comes to admitting sexual interests.

steve
 
frickyouforum said:
ive never really participated here in these forums, so one thing that was kind of a light bulb moment for me was seeing on pornhub, a fairly good percentage of
the users who were into the same videos as me were women. i always had the notion this scene would consist of men with a pathological compulsion, and women simply filling the economic demand. and of course, there certainly is a lot of that here as well, but...

apparently BDSM stuff is one genre that is particularly popular with women, so when you think of the fetish in those terms, as an offshoot of dominant/submissive paradigm. also, whenever some piece of writing or media concerning this fetish crosses over into the 'normie-sphere', if you look there are always a few women saying either 'i'd try this' or, 'damn i wish someone would do this to me'

so just the idea that self expression of my desires could potentially (not only not always burden me with an effective sexual disability) work in service to simultaneously fulfill someone else's diametrically opposed but complementary desires, went a long way towards not seeing myself as necessarily someone who would always enter a relationship with an impairment.

surely, that still means that to most people i would still be entering into the relationship with an impairment. this is where framing things can make all the difference. a tickle fetish sounds every bit as weird as being one of those people that are into seeing people inflate balloons. but what about calling your preferences rarefied, a niche offshoot of BDSM, dominant/submissive dynamics? these things are in vogue and have never been more well understood from the female perspective. also, as mildly embarrassing it was, i couldn't feel more lucky that feet pics have become such a meme, it has saturated internet culture which has basically normalized it in equal measure. i saw a tweet thread 'what was the fetish you always joked about but now you can't tell if you are joking any more' and the second most common response after vore/weeb/piss was people saying feet. like, one girl that lives in my area and was talking about someone walking in on her at the bar while she was taking feet pics for her onlyfans, i then realized we had practically reached saturation with normalization

also, my last serious relationship, i was able to redpill my girlfriend into accommodating me with very little trouble. i had a lot of self doubt that because it had worked its way into our normal sexual activity, that my enjoyment was always taking away her's, or at least not contributing positively. and while it wasn't completely smooth sailing because it became something of a requirement, i was reassured that she learned to enjoy it, and engaging in it made both of us horny. which is really kind of a no brainer from a dominant/submissive viewpoint: if you can manage to not be timid and own and relish the fact that you are doing whatever you want to her body and she is completely helpless/vulnerable, which cuts to the heart of what is these dynamics are all about. i don't think many women would argue against the idea that the hottest sex often enjoys some element of sadism. in fact, i've heard it said by a lot of people with no interest in the fetish that, as a fetish, tickling makes a lot of sense, especially compared to a lot of the other ones. i remember one guy on imgur—where oddly enough every time i've seen any tickling related media it was always upvoted by a healthy margin—said that tickling is the only fetish that he didn't hate on principle

so, TLDR as a man you should never admit, maybe under any circumstances, that you have something known as a 'tickle fetish'. that is the worst framing imaginable. instead i would recommend trying to be procedural and direct about your BDSM related preferences. and that while it will never be some golden ticket for you that is a key to open every door, at least take comfort that women exist out there that are just as horny for it as you are, and an even larger chunk will be 'horny adjacent'

i'll end by paraphrasing something Fyodor Karamazov said, something to the effect of, 'how good it is, that masters and slaves continue to exist in the world'
Click to expand...

OR you could just talk to your partner as though they're a normal person while you yourself behave like a normal person and see where that gets you.
 
Comfort Eagle said:
OR you could just talk to your partner as though they're a normal person while you yourself behave like a normal person and see where that gets you.
Click to expand...

what makes you assume that i behaved in a way other what i would consider normal. how about this: everyone is normal all the time. and i have had plenty of good success
 
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