Low_Roads
4th Level Black Feather
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2004
- Messages
- 8,915
- Points
- 38
The punchline to a "Dad" joke is obviously apparent. That only happens once it's full groan.
Instead of a telephone, I use a homophone. You can tell the difference because mine goes "Ring! Wring!"
This Halloween, even Count Dracula is afraid of COVID infection. He's at particular risk because of the coffin.
My teacher, a former flower child, told the class she was going to play us some hippy music. It's considerably different from other tunes: nothing but high notes.
Q: What do you tell hungry zoo tigers once you've run out of tiger chow?
A: "Alpaca lunch."
My cousin's a well known rocker. Recently, I just learned he inherited his instrument from his dead father. That surprised me... I had no idea he was playing heir guitar.
Eager Beaver pleaded Not Guilty to illegal construction, but Wise Old Owl had log after log brought into the courtroom. Beaver commenced to sweat... it was damming evidence.
My twin brother and I live together in the same apartment. Nothing odd about that... even before birth, we'd been womb mates.
Q: A hundred and fifty people took part in the Bangkok Marathon. Who won?
A: It was a Thai.
My wife's decided to do some poll working this year. It's a stranger job than I thought; they seem to pay her exclusively in ones and fives.
France fought Russia in winter and lost. Germany fought Russia in winter and lost. So far, the US is the only one who beat them at a Cold War.
I don't know if there's really an afterlife, but I'm dying to find out!
Laughter is supposed to be the best medicine. Therefore, the next time you see somebody with COVID, feel free to laugh at them.
In my lifetime, I've had seven wives. Someday, I may even get married myself.
Have you heard about the Mystery of the Molesting Spirit? I came out of nowhere!
I just got fired from my job at the pool table factory. It should surprise no one that I felt bad.
You gotta respect the NSA; it's the one government agency that really listens to you!
I stayed at the water sports expo longer than intended... a fly fishing demonstration happened to catch my eye.
A huge 2000-year old etching of a cat has been uncovered on a South American hillside. Not surprisingly, it's located in Purru.
My mom's the fattest woman ever. All her meals are served on tectonic plates.
I finally got a job as an apprentice hangman. I'm depending on my boss to show me the ropes.
A sign at the polling station read, "No campaign literature or clothing allowed." The volunteers all shrieked about my naked ass, but they were the ones who insisted.
* * *
Instead of a telephone, I use a homophone. You can tell the difference because mine goes "Ring! Wring!"
* * *
This Halloween, even Count Dracula is afraid of COVID infection. He's at particular risk because of the coffin.
* * *
My teacher, a former flower child, told the class she was going to play us some hippy music. It's considerably different from other tunes: nothing but high notes.
* * *
Q: What do you tell hungry zoo tigers once you've run out of tiger chow?
A: "Alpaca lunch."
* * *
My cousin's a well known rocker. Recently, I just learned he inherited his instrument from his dead father. That surprised me... I had no idea he was playing heir guitar.
* * *
Eager Beaver pleaded Not Guilty to illegal construction, but Wise Old Owl had log after log brought into the courtroom. Beaver commenced to sweat... it was damming evidence.
* * *
My twin brother and I live together in the same apartment. Nothing odd about that... even before birth, we'd been womb mates.
* * *
Q: A hundred and fifty people took part in the Bangkok Marathon. Who won?
A: It was a Thai.
* * *
My wife's decided to do some poll working this year. It's a stranger job than I thought; they seem to pay her exclusively in ones and fives.
* * *
France fought Russia in winter and lost. Germany fought Russia in winter and lost. So far, the US is the only one who beat them at a Cold War.
* * *
I don't know if there's really an afterlife, but I'm dying to find out!
* * *
Laughter is supposed to be the best medicine. Therefore, the next time you see somebody with COVID, feel free to laugh at them.
* * *
In my lifetime, I've had seven wives. Someday, I may even get married myself.
* * *
Have you heard about the Mystery of the Molesting Spirit? I came out of nowhere!
* * *
I just got fired from my job at the pool table factory. It should surprise no one that I felt bad.
* * *
You gotta respect the NSA; it's the one government agency that really listens to you!
* * *
I stayed at the water sports expo longer than intended... a fly fishing demonstration happened to catch my eye.
* * *
A huge 2000-year old etching of a cat has been uncovered on a South American hillside. Not surprisingly, it's located in Purru.
* * *
My mom's the fattest woman ever. All her meals are served on tectonic plates.
* * *
I finally got a job as an apprentice hangman. I'm depending on my boss to show me the ropes.
* * *
A sign at the polling station read, "No campaign literature or clothing allowed." The volunteers all shrieked about my naked ass, but they were the ones who insisted.
