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Advice for vanilla Fiancé!

missbay_lee

Registered User
Joined
Apr 20, 2015
Messages
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Hi everyone!

I’ve been a lee for as long as I can remember, my fiancé(who of course I adore and can’t wait to marry!) knows I like being tickled and all about the fetish, but he’s just not a ler. I have a hard time communicating my likes and dislikes with tickling which obviously doesn’t make it easy for him, but after hiding it all my life it’s hard to just suddenly open up about it. Likewise, part of what I don’t like is talking about how I like to be tickled, I prefer to have more of a stubborn mindset and fight it if that makes sense? I’m not sure if any of you have any advice or have found yourselves in a similar situation. I almost feel like something is wrong with me because the man I’m in love with is tickling me but it’s just not as exciting.
 
The fictional character Annie Savoy in the movie Bull Durham says that men will do anything if they think it is foreplay. I believe this to be true.

So tell your fiancé that the exact type(s) of tickling that you prefer are foreplay for you.
 
Your husband-to-be isn't a mind-reader. Communicating what you like is your responsibility. Listening and remembering is his. If one of the things that you'll have to communicate is that you don't want to have to communicate (about tickling) so much in the future, well, then that's just a funny quirk of the process.
 
Depending upon your future husband’s comfort level, there are obviously countless men who would be delighted to tickle you. Perhaps the two of you could figure a mutually acceptable way to incorporate other men tickling you, and find a way for him to be included such as video work, assisting the guy tickling you or the like. Just a thought....
 
You could try showing him videos of tickling that you enjoy and see if he can use those videos to practice his abilities or demonstrate some techniques. It might help him to have that context and visual recognition.
 
Some great advice on here....

If have to communicate and be willing to communicate to make this relationship work. The video thing was also very helpful advice from Happydarwin.

I also find it works to really explore what your significant other also enjoys and work on combining them together. Being vanilla doesn't mean there isn't something that is highly enjoyable or pleasurable. There has to be a fantasy, a favorite part of the body or erogenous zone, role play that can be used and that can be combined with your love of tickling.

Take it step by step. Assure your fiancée that you are comfortable, you love it, it isn't hurting you.... You'll just have to be vocal at first because it is encouraging to an inexperienced ler. Then.... start bringing in more of your stubborn side- that way he has an understanding of what you want.

-Sunny
 
Thanks everyone for taking the time to give some great advice! It is much appreciated:)
 
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