I guess I'm just confused is all. I'm straight when it comes to who I want to have sex with which is women. The idea of having sex with another man isn't attractive at all. However, the idea of a man tying me up and tickling me senseless is a very erotic fantasy of mine. So does that make me bi? I wouldn't care if he tickled my genitals and made me beg for mercy but I know I wouldn't want to have sex with him. Is that weird? Of course I'm totally down for a woman to tickle me too! But I fantasize about being tied up and tickled by a bunch of gay or bi men who want to toy with my body. It's very odd to me that I feel this way. Anyone else relate?
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Why am I like this?
- Thread starter oddduck94
- Start date
joanneb1980
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tickling probably isn't your main fetish, its probably more humiliation, but no you don't have to be bi or gay for this, a lot of people see tickling or other fetishes as not sexual so can be done with same sax and not be gay, and opposite for gay people
Myriads
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Actually, fetishes and main sexual preference do not always line up.
It's due to a quirk in how our psychologies work, and organize preferences into hierarchies.
From what you said you get off on the idea of beign tickled by either females or males (your bi comment) which its really a way of saying that you get off on being tickled period. To your psychology being the victim of a tickling is more important then the person dealing the tickling to you. Thus it's a genderless desire. You'll rise to the occasion (pardon the pun) regardless of who your Ler is.
This gives the impression that you are open to both genders sexually, but in reality it highlights how gender is unimportant to you when it comes to tickling. It's the tickling you are beign aroused by not the tickler. So the 'sexual' aspect of the act is just that, tickling, without a gender aspect. If a machine was doing it you'd be just as aroused, but it wouldn't mean that you were sexually attracted to machines.
So you are heterosexual when it comes to regular sexual preference.
and
Your are by appearances bisexual when it comes to being tickled. But that does not needfully mean you are bisexual, just indifferent as to who (or what) tickles you. Which in turn leads to a sexual response.
Now if ONLY the idea of men tickling you gets you going, then you have a clear split in your regular/fetish gender preferences, and that would speak to a bisexual aspect in play. Because the fetish only 'works' if a specific gender is attached, and that becomes a factor in greater gender preference in a sexual act.
In short, we are complicated creatures, and the binary Hetro-Homo box set with Bi being subtitled to both at once is inadequate to really describe how our sexualities work. It's rarely an All or northing thing in our preferences, more of a continuum.
In the end if you find things you like, and it doesn't trouble you, and everyone is on board with how they stand in relation to each other, then its all good.
Myriads
It's due to a quirk in how our psychologies work, and organize preferences into hierarchies.
From what you said you get off on the idea of beign tickled by either females or males (your bi comment) which its really a way of saying that you get off on being tickled period. To your psychology being the victim of a tickling is more important then the person dealing the tickling to you. Thus it's a genderless desire. You'll rise to the occasion (pardon the pun) regardless of who your Ler is.
This gives the impression that you are open to both genders sexually, but in reality it highlights how gender is unimportant to you when it comes to tickling. It's the tickling you are beign aroused by not the tickler. So the 'sexual' aspect of the act is just that, tickling, without a gender aspect. If a machine was doing it you'd be just as aroused, but it wouldn't mean that you were sexually attracted to machines.
So you are heterosexual when it comes to regular sexual preference.
and
Your are by appearances bisexual when it comes to being tickled. But that does not needfully mean you are bisexual, just indifferent as to who (or what) tickles you. Which in turn leads to a sexual response.
Now if ONLY the idea of men tickling you gets you going, then you have a clear split in your regular/fetish gender preferences, and that would speak to a bisexual aspect in play. Because the fetish only 'works' if a specific gender is attached, and that becomes a factor in greater gender preference in a sexual act.
In short, we are complicated creatures, and the binary Hetro-Homo box set with Bi being subtitled to both at once is inadequate to really describe how our sexualities work. It's rarely an All or northing thing in our preferences, more of a continuum.
In the end if you find things you like, and it doesn't trouble you, and everyone is on board with how they stand in relation to each other, then its all good.
Myriads
Ticklerguy4u
3rd Level Orange Feather
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As a ler and ler and straight male I have seen tickle videos or cartoons with both men and women. At first it would confuse me about why I enjoyed seeing both tickled until I realized it was about tickling that got me excited and the power play involved. So I agree that humiliation might be the factor just like I enjoy dominating through tickling.
RavensFan52
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- Aug 26, 2014
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Actually, fetishes and main sexual preference do not always line up.
It's due to a quirk in how our psychologies work, and organize preferences into hierarchies.
From what you said you get off on the idea of beign tickled by either females or males (your bi comment) which its really a way of saying that you get off on being tickled period. To your psychology being the victim of a tickling is more important then the person dealing the tickling to you. Thus it's a genderless desire. You'll rise to the occasion (pardon the pun) regardless of who your Ler is.
This gives the impression that you are open to both genders sexually, but in reality it highlights how gender is unimportant to you when it comes to tickling. It's the tickling you are beign aroused by not the tickler. So the 'sexual' aspect of the act is just that, tickling, without a gender aspect. If a machine was doing it you'd be just as aroused, but it wouldn't mean that you were sexually attracted to machines.
So you are heterosexual when it comes to regular sexual preference.
and
Your are by appearances bisexual when it comes to being tickled. But that does not needfully mean you are bisexual, just indifferent as to who (or what) tickles you. Which in turn leads to a sexual response.
Now if ONLY the idea of men tickling you gets you going, then you have a clear split in your regular/fetish gender preferences, and that would speak to a bisexual aspect in play. Because the fetish only 'works' if a specific gender is attached, and that becomes a factor in greater gender preference in a sexual act.
In short, we are complicated creatures, and the binary Hetro-Homo box set with Bi being subtitled to both at once is inadequate to really describe how our sexualities work. It's rarely an All or northing thing in our preferences, more of a continuum.
In the end if you find things you like, and it doesn't trouble you, and everyone is on board with how they stand in relation to each other, then its all good.
Myriads
This might be the best explanation Ive ever read on this topic. Great job!
The Depths
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The fact that you're questioning it in the tone that you are, suggests some slight distress -- don't worry about it. Nothing sexual is simple, and really, if it's a part of your sexuality and it isn't hurting anyone, then accept it and love yourself. Even if some part of you is "bi/gay" who cares. So many wires get crossed with sexuality and psychology that I think it's probably more common than people would be open to talking about, to have bizarre, abstract sexual thoughts or fantasies that aren't necessarily always in line with your orientation. I think the worst thing you could do is try to repress, shame or beat yourself up over whatever you're into (so long as it's safe and legal). There's nothing wrong with you; you have your kinks just like the rest of us.
I don't think this makes you bi or confused. I've had a similar problem where I thought I must be "confused" about my sexuality because of a few exceptions I made.
I'm gay, but there's been a few times where I looked at M/F if I couldn't find M/M content that satisfied me. It's the experience of being tickled that matters to me. However, I can't see myself dating or having sex with a woman.
And Myriads, thank you for your explanation. It made a lot of sense.
I'm gay, but there's been a few times where I looked at M/F if I couldn't find M/M content that satisfied me. It's the experience of being tickled that matters to me. However, I can't see myself dating or having sex with a woman.
And Myriads, thank you for your explanation. It made a lot of sense.
Last edited:
Gentle_tickler_
Registered User
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- Dec 9, 2020
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Thought I was alone in feeling somewhat like this. Glad I'm not lol!
Actually, fetishes and main sexual preference do not always line up.
It's due to a quirk in how our psychologies work, and organize preferences into hierarchies.
From what you said you get off on the idea of beign tickled by either females or males (your bi comment) which its really a way of saying that you get off on being tickled period. To your psychology being the victim of a tickling is more important then the person dealing the tickling to you. Thus it's a genderless desire. You'll rise to the occasion (pardon the pun) regardless of who your Ler is.
This gives the impression that you are open to both genders sexually, but in reality it highlights how gender is unimportant to you when it comes to tickling. It's the tickling you are beign aroused by not the tickler. So the 'sexual' aspect of the act is just that, tickling, without a gender aspect. If a machine was doing it you'd be just as aroused, but it wouldn't mean that you were sexually attracted to machines.
So you are heterosexual when it comes to regular sexual preference.
and
Your are by appearances bisexual when it comes to being tickled. But that does not needfully mean you are bisexual, just indifferent as to who (or what) tickles you. Which in turn leads to a sexual response.
Now if ONLY the idea of men tickling you gets you going, then you have a clear split in your regular/fetish gender preferences, and that would speak to a bisexual aspect in play. Because the fetish only 'works' if a specific gender is attached, and that becomes a factor in greater gender preference in a sexual act.
In short, we are complicated creatures, and the binary Hetro-Homo box set with Bi being subtitled to both at once is inadequate to really describe how our sexualities work. It's rarely an All or northing thing in our preferences, more of a continuum.
In the end if you find things you like, and it doesn't trouble you, and everyone is on board with how they stand in relation to each other, then its all good.
Myriads
This is a brilliant answer!!!
fonzieluck
TMF Regular
- Joined
- May 27, 2006
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So I can say the same thing, and you aren’t alone. I am not attracted to men, and honestly I’ve had women tickle me who I was not attracted to at all. I’ve only been tickled by women, including past girlfriends, dominatrixes, and friends who would just tie me up and tickle to fulfill my fantasies back in high school and college. They would even do other things besides tickling. Was I attracted to all of them? No. Did I get an erection when tickled regardless? Yes.
I’ve had the same fantasies. Not regularly, but I have had them. I’m very much into “topticklepig” and his channel of tickle videos. I’m sure other people have noticed them as well.
So the question remains...if I were tied up and tickled by an older man, and tickled endlessly, would I be sexually aroused? I can honestly say I probably would. However, I would need to be blindfolded and gagged so I didn’t see it, and would just have my mind focus on the tickling and teasing.
So don’t worry, you aren’t alone.
I’ve had the same fantasies. Not regularly, but I have had them. I’m very much into “topticklepig” and his channel of tickle videos. I’m sure other people have noticed them as well.
So the question remains...if I were tied up and tickled by an older man, and tickled endlessly, would I be sexually aroused? I can honestly say I probably would. However, I would need to be blindfolded and gagged so I didn’t see it, and would just have my mind focus on the tickling and teasing.
So don’t worry, you aren’t alone.
I can only give you my own experience and what works for me. I wouldn't get hung up on terms like bi and straight. I think gender attraction exists on a spectrum for everyone. I've never known anyone gay who didn't at some time in their life feel attracted to someone of the opposite sex. The reverse is true for straight women. I can only assume the same is true for straight men but it's impossible to say for sure, given they are culturally conditioned to repress and deny any attraction to the same sex.
As for having no desire for male genitals, how much desire do you have for female genitals? We are talking about a fetish, after all. I get that you enjoy sex with women, but is it really about their genitals?
As for the labels, I am reluctant to call myself bi for a very simple reason -- while I am attracted to men, I can't see myself in an exclusive relationship with a man. I can only conclude I lean far enough to the straight end of the spectrum that I can call myself that. I wouldn't be afraid, however, of a desire to enter into a full relationship with a man, should it ever arise. If that ever did happen then I would call myself bi.
As for having no desire for male genitals, how much desire do you have for female genitals? We are talking about a fetish, after all. I get that you enjoy sex with women, but is it really about their genitals?
As for the labels, I am reluctant to call myself bi for a very simple reason -- while I am attracted to men, I can't see myself in an exclusive relationship with a man. I can only conclude I lean far enough to the straight end of the spectrum that I can call myself that. I wouldn't be afraid, however, of a desire to enter into a full relationship with a man, should it ever arise. If that ever did happen then I would call myself bi.
