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Sexual/Asexual Spectrum

Ita24

TMF Regular
Joined
Oct 10, 2017
Messages
226
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I feel like I'm living in a world of my own. I'm definitely not what anyone would call asexual. I get strong feelings of arousal(mostly caused by tickling). I'm attracted to women. I have fantasies about having tickle fun with a woman I'm interested in. In those fantasies, I do like for the woman and myself to be tickled naked. To me, that's really hot and sensual and more fun. I do get very aroused by these fantasies, and getting aroused by these fantasies is one of the best parts of it. So in that sense, you'd say I'm on the sexual side of the spectrum for sure.

Where things get weird with me is that despite being naked and aroused in these fantasies, I have absolutely no desire for the fantasies to become "sexual." By that I mean, I have no desire for there to be any actions besides tickling. Tickling intimate areas of the body is great, but nothing beyond that. No jerking off, sucking, fingering, sex etc. It does nothing for me. To be honest, if I do try to include that in my fantasy, it kills my arousal.

On top of that, in reality while I'm thinking about/writing my fantasies, I get aroused but have no desire to masturbate. I just sit with the arousal and enjoy the feeling.

So I'm in this weird position where the asexual people/platonic tickling folks on TMF aren't like me because of my arousal and somewhat content of my fantasies. While at the same time, I'm not like the sexual tickling people on TMF because of my lack of interest in sexual acts.
 
I am new to realizing there is a term for people like me. I am asexual too. I could be wrong but I don’t think being asexual means you don’t get aroused. I am lesbian. I am sexually attracted to women. I do not want to have sex with a man or a woman though or participate in sexual activities. I do sometimes get aroused by being tickled. Not always there are just a few spots. I mostly just like the way it feels and the closeness with the ler.
 
ITA24 - You have just described my whole life. My ageing advice is to relax, it will feel less important as you get older and you learn to enjoy what you enjoy (life isn't about following other people's scripts).
 
You could look up the prevailing definitions of the terms -- I think there are some inconsistencies in various sources. But in the end, who cares what term is used? You like what you like, so work with that!
 
That's so great there are people like you Ita24!
You are able to enjoy the beauty of tickling and its uniqueness in a non-sexual way that some others can't.
That's an advantage.
We also love tickling not for its possible sexual side, and that's why we do tickle therapy.
 
Now this! This is something I can relate to. I always wondered if it was too weird that I could only be aroused by tickling and start to be turned off by the "expectation" of sex. I was just talking to somebody about my asexuality last night and how I separate sex from bdsm. It's such a fun conversation topic.
 
Asexual ticklephile here.

I've spent a lot of time over the last 12 months working this all out and exploring it, and a hell of a lot of introspection and self-analysis, and this is what I've got.

Asexuality in its most basic definition is a lack of sexual attraction to other people. This does not include romantic or sensual attraction. You can still want to date and love someone without feeling like you want to have sex with them, and you can definitely feel sensually attracted to someone where you want to hug, cuddle, massage and, yes, tickle a specific person. I'd recommend people look up the Split Attraction Model for more info on that. For most people all these attractions are rolled into one, whereas for others they will feel only some forms of attraction, or none at all.

Arousal is definitely the wrench in working this stuff out for a lot of people. Being asexual doesn't mean you never get aroused, never have fantasies, etc. It also doesn't mean not having sex (think of all the wives out there who've long since lost attraction to their husbands but still have sex with them anyway)...some aces have sex for whatever reasons...pleasing a partner, enjoying the closeness and intimacy, etc. Plus hormones are a thing. Just because you might not want to have sex, doesn't mean your glands are going to stop making the things that make babies :)

The fact that you want to tickle people while naked doesn't disqualify you from being able to use the label. I love tickling, it's arousing, I have fantasies, but none of them include sex at all (or nudity but that's because I don't like looking at nudey people, lol). I never look at someone and go 'wow I bet they'd be fun in bed' or whatever people think when they see someone who is "hot". The most I want to do is cuddle and tickle them, or have them cuddle and tickle me, and even if that does get the motor running, so to speak, I don't drive and so the car ain't going anywhere.

You might be a kinky ace!
 
There is an Ace Kink Space discord server where these things are often talked about (there's even a tickling channel!), which might prove a useful resource and space to mull these things over with people who feel the same way as us. There is also the Asexual & Kinky group on Fetlife.
 
I think sex and tickling is rather similar in the end...
In the sex and aslo tickling there are involuntary movements, facial expressions, screams, control the other person etc.

I also fantasies much of the time about tickling but I realized that traditional sex arouse me even more
When I hear the neighbors making sex foe exmaple the screaming of woman arouses me much more than tickling , because I feel that its a similar feeling but something much more stronger.

So I don't think that people with fetish are asexual they just did not discover the world of traditional sex and they continued to start fantasizing only about their fetish/
The brain thinks that tickling is kind of sex for example.
I recommend you to try to combine sex and tickling together and think about sex that its kind of a tickle torture haha because its is : screaming, involuntary body movements, facial expressions etc .
 
I‘m in a similar spot. Tickling is my fetish, no doubt about it. Just the thought of tickling a woman or lately being tickled by a woman arouses me greatly. It is primarily sensual however. I like the feeling, the intimacy and the playfulness. Sex and other sexual acts that accompany it irritate me however, it‘s a big turn off, in tickling and all other aspects of my life.

A relationship with just cuddles and tickles would be all I desire myself.
 
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