milagros317
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- Jan 12, 2002
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You might guess, now that the Dodgers have won the 2020 World Series, that my anger over the Houston Astros having cheated during the 2017 World Series has cooled off. It has not. The scandal is at least as bad as the 1919 Black Sox scandal and this time it was mishandled by the Commissioner of MLB.
If I had the same dictatorial powers over MLB as were given to Judge Kenesaw Mountain Landis in 1920, then here is what I would proclaim:
1) The Astros victory in the 2017 World Series is declared null and void. 2017 will henceforth be recorded as a year with no World Series champion, as are 1994 and 1904.
2) Every player on the 2017 World Series roster of the Astros is barred from organized baseball for life.
3) All of the coaches used during the 2017 World Series by the Astros and their manager are barred from organized baseball for life.
4) The owners of the Astros have one year from the date of this proclamation to sell the team to new owners. At the conclusion of the sale, they will be fined one billion dollars, or half of the sale price, whichever of those two amounts is larger. All of this fine will be paid to the office of the Commissioner of MLB. As Commissioner, I will see to it that everyone who bought a ticket to a 2017 World Series game is given a full refund.
5) In the event that the owners fail to sell the Astros or fail to pay the fine in full, then the Astros will be expelled from MLB. In that event, MLB will award an expansion franchise to some city at least 500 miles away from Houston to restore the number of teams to 30. If necessary for geographic reasons, I will move teams among Divisions so that there are five teams in each of the six Divisions. Also, in that event, all players with contacts with the Astros or their farm teams (except those barred in paragraph 2) above) become free agents.
Back to speaking as myself; full disclosure:
I should state that, with regard to point 4), I am not a disinterested party. I attended games 1, 2, 6, and 7 of the 2017 World Series. (Those were the four games played in Dodger Stadium.) I paid, via StubHub, $1340, $1270, $1050, and $1540 for my tickets to those games respectively. As far as I am concerned, the Bastro cheaters owe me $5200. I presume that I will get it right after pigs sprout wings and fly to the moon.
If I had the same dictatorial powers over MLB as were given to Judge Kenesaw Mountain Landis in 1920, then here is what I would proclaim:
1) The Astros victory in the 2017 World Series is declared null and void. 2017 will henceforth be recorded as a year with no World Series champion, as are 1994 and 1904.
2) Every player on the 2017 World Series roster of the Astros is barred from organized baseball for life.
3) All of the coaches used during the 2017 World Series by the Astros and their manager are barred from organized baseball for life.
4) The owners of the Astros have one year from the date of this proclamation to sell the team to new owners. At the conclusion of the sale, they will be fined one billion dollars, or half of the sale price, whichever of those two amounts is larger. All of this fine will be paid to the office of the Commissioner of MLB. As Commissioner, I will see to it that everyone who bought a ticket to a 2017 World Series game is given a full refund.
5) In the event that the owners fail to sell the Astros or fail to pay the fine in full, then the Astros will be expelled from MLB. In that event, MLB will award an expansion franchise to some city at least 500 miles away from Houston to restore the number of teams to 30. If necessary for geographic reasons, I will move teams among Divisions so that there are five teams in each of the six Divisions. Also, in that event, all players with contacts with the Astros or their farm teams (except those barred in paragraph 2) above) become free agents.
Back to speaking as myself; full disclosure:
I should state that, with regard to point 4), I am not a disinterested party. I attended games 1, 2, 6, and 7 of the 2017 World Series. (Those were the four games played in Dodger Stadium.) I paid, via StubHub, $1340, $1270, $1050, and $1540 for my tickets to those games respectively. As far as I am concerned, the Bastro cheaters owe me $5200. I presume that I will get it right after pigs sprout wings and fly to the moon.
