Being Shy: What can you do to make it better?

It takes work and repetition to get there. Any words of advice for others are appreciated. I need people to realize you're not alone.

So, if you could BE NOT shy.... what would you tell someone to make them relax? Obviously also when it comes to Tickling.

What do you want to say.. to yourself ultimately?

To look back at things you have done and the positive feedback you got from most. Yes, there will always be a small number of people who derive pleasure from tearing you down, but most people are in your corner and want you to succeed.

......

I used to be a shy person around people especially females. What changed in me was two things: How I viewed them and how I viewed me. As I grew older, people's opinion didn't matter to me as long as I felt I wasn't being an ass to them for them to dislike me. It was their problem if they didn't like me. I guess as I grew older I became tired of feeling I didn't measure up even if it was in my imagination. So now when I talk to someone it's more of "will I like you then will you like me." I can't be good friends with everyone because we may lead different lifestyles but I can talk to you about general things.

My advice is don't hold anyone above you and/or hold yourself below them. They are who they are and you are who you are at the end of the day.

In answer to being shy when it comes to tickling....as a ler, I would try to make the person as comfortable with me as possible by getting to know each other as people first.

It's often easier to open up to people with whom you share an interest. If you're reading this, then at least one of those interests is tickling, so you're already on your way.

When trying to open up, be patient - with others, with yourself. You're not performing Shakespeare in the nude before a live studio audience - you're saying hi. You're telling people what you're into. Y'know, simple things.

Hope this helps somebody.

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For myself, being shy is largely a defense/coping mechanism.

Also, I frequently have trouble expressing how I feel with words and find it very frustrating.

Between my last relationship (which was awful) and my general lack of self worth, I've largely withdrawn from socializing/dating.

I wish I could offer advice but I'm need of some myself. I'll keep an eye on this thread but I've found some comfort in many of the responses so far.

"All good things are wild and free." - Henry David Thoreau

I guess for me the best advice is to always be yourself and don't try to pretend to be what others want you to be.

I grew up being ridiculed and shamed for being different from others. Which made me selfconscious and shy over the years. I still struggle with it at times when meeting strangers. But over the years I have come to the conclusion that I can only be the best me I can be. If I am happy with myself then it is up to others to be happy with me as I am, if they aren't and want to change me I have no room for them in my life.

This goes for tickling, friendships, and relationships. Be happy with who you are and love yourself first. Nothing else matters

When it comes to tickling and meeting new lers or switches I like to sit down and get to know them as a person first by talking and just finding common interests outside of tickling. It makes me calm down and relax knowing they have some common ground with me, I also let them know that if I am going to ler for them exactly how I like to start so they can predict how and where I am going to go with the tickling and I do request that of them when I am a lee too. A little trust built before sessions goes a long way during sessions

If you can see that there nervous and you address it just say relax chill enjoy it don’t worry remind them it will be a positive experience and if they feel uncomfortable at any point to let you know

As a shy person myself, the best thing other people can do is help me feel like it's "not a big deal." The WORST thing someone can do is say "wow, that's weird" after something I say or do. So, basically, anything that is OPPOSITE of that is what helps me be less shy. People who listen, show interest, etc. And if someone opens up to me first... I'm an open book.