Buffy vs. the Tickling Demon (m/f, f/m, f/f)
NOTE: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all characters are registered trademarks of Warner Bros. Inc. The author uses them here only for this work of fiction.
OPEN on the campus at night. A guy and a girl are strolling across a forested area, obviously on a date.
GIRL
. . . yeah, so I haven't really made many friends here yet.
GUY
Give it time. You're a lovely girl. I'm sure you'll make plenty of friends before you know it.
GIRL (blushing)
Thanks.
She yawns, stretching her arms over her head. With a glint in his eye, the boy reaches over and gives her a quick poke in the side. She jumps and lets out a squeal.
GIRL
Hey now! Don't do that!
The boy smiles and continues to tickle around her sides.
GUY
What's the matter? Little ticklish?
She begins tittering and tries to squirm away.
GIRL
Yes! Hehehehehehe!! Hey, come on!! Heeheheehehehee! Cut it out!!
But the boy picks up speed, tickling harder. His smile grows and his eyes get wider, almost entranced. He continues tickling until an unseen figure smothers the girl's mouth with its hand and yanks her body into the bushes. The girls muffled scream is the last thing we hear before:
TITLE SEQUENCE
FADE IN on Buffy in the gym, practicing her fighting moves. Willow peeks her head in and sees Buffy training intently.
WILLOW
Almost done?
BUFFY (without pausing)
One more hour.
CUT to
Willow and Buffy exiting the locker room and walking down the hall.
WILLOW
I don't understand why you put yourself through that much punishment. You're already in good enough shape to kick any vampire's ass without breaking a sweat.
BUFFY
Gotta stay conditioned. Besides, it's good to learn to deal with pain. Being the Slayer's not just hunting and fighting. Demons love to use torture to try and break you.
WILLOW
I doubt any demon could torture you.
BUFFY
And I plan to keep it that way.
Xander enters, sneaking up behind them. When he gets close to Buffy, he reaches out and grabs her ribs. Buffy spins around and laughs out loud, startling Willow. Xander laughs at them both.
BUFFY
Dammit, Xander! How many times have I told you not to tickle me!
XANDER
I can't help it! It's just so much fun.
BUFFY
It's not fair. You know how ticklish I am.
XANDER
That's what makes it fun.
He reaches out and tickles her side quickly, and she leaps away.
BUFFY
You do know I could break you like a dry twig, right?
XANDER
All right, all right, sorry.
The three walk off, but Xander, a step behind the girls, can't resist giving each of them another quick tickle. As they exit the scene, we see that someone has been watching them. It is the guy from the opening scene, with the same sinister look on his face.
CUT to the LIBRARY, where Giles is waiting, immersed in a book. Buffy enters; she has changed out of her gym clothes and into something more fashionable. She knocks on the table to get Giles' attention.
BUFFY
Hey Giles. You wanted to see me?
GILES
Yes, Buffy. Have you heard about the recent disappearances on campus?
BUFFY
At this point, kids disappearing isn't really news anymore. Why, what's up?
GILES
Two students have gone missing the last two weeks, one boy and one girl. I have a feeling it might be connected to this.
He shows Buffy the book. She skims the page quickly.
BUFFY
What's a . . . .vellicator?
GILES
Well, in this case it's some sort of demon. I believe I've heard the term before but I can't quite think of where. At any rate, according to this prophecy the Vellicator is due to return to Earth within the next week. I'm sure these disappearances are tied to his minions somehow.
BUFFY
Human sacrifice? Demonic experiments? Or maybe just a snack?
GILES
I'm not really sure yet. The origin of this name is what's giving me the hardest time right now. You would probably do well to keep your eyes open for any unfamiliar characters with any unusual traits. I don't think these are going to be your ordinary, run of the mill spawns of the underworld.
BUFFY
Cool. I could use a new challenge.
GILES
Just be careful.
BUFFY (exiting)
You know me. I always am.
CUT to Willow hurrying down the hall, arms full of books. The sinister looking fellow who was watching her earlier turns the corner just in time to bump into her, spilling her books.
GUY
Oh, goodness! I'm so sorry! Excuse me!
WILLOW (embarrassed)
Oh, it's all right.
She kneels to collect her books. He kneels to help her and catches her gaze.
GUY (acting bewildered)
I'm Max.
WILLOW
Nice to meet you, Max, I'm Willow.
They stand up. not breaking eye contact.
MAX
Willow . . . what a wonderfully unique name.
WILLOW (blushing)
Thanks.
He grins at her.
CUT to the CAFETERIA, where Xander is carrying his tray and looking for a table. From one side, he hears someone whistling to get his attention. He turns and sees a sexy girl with a come-hither look in her eye alone at a table. She kicks the empty chair towards him, and raises her eyebrows. Xander smiles and happily goes to join her.
CUT to the STUDENT LOUNGE, where Buffy and Xander are sitting and talking. Willow scampers over to join them.
WILLOW
Guys! Guess what! I just met the most amazing guy. His name's Max. We're going to a movie Saturday night.
BUFFY
What a coincidence, Xander was just telling me about the girl he met.
XANDER (proudly)
Veronica.
BUFFY
Yup, looks like it's an Audrey Hepburn movie and popcorn for one for Buffy again this weekend.
WILLOW (sympathetically)
Oh, Buffy, you'll find someone.
BUFFY
Yeah, probably a demon named the velli-something.
XANDER
More trouble from the mouth of Hell?
BUFFY
A Slayer's work is never done.
CUT to the same spot on campus where we first saw Max and his unfortunate date. He is there with Willow this time, again making polite conversation.
MAX
Come over here for a second, I want to show you something.
He leads her towards the bushes.
WILLOW
What?
MAX
Just look. I noticed this the other day.
She wanders in closer, straining to see anything noteworthy.
WILLOW
I don't see anything . . .
MAX
It's right over . . . there!
He gives her a shove, and with a scream Willow disappears into the dark behind the bushes. Max follows her.
CUT to the same spot, a little later that night. Xander and Veronica are walking past now. She's wrapped around his arm, and he's boasting up a storm.
XANDER
So, naturally, I had to come in and save the day.
VERONICA (coyly)
Ooooh, I love a big strong man.
She runs her hand over his chest. He enjoys it until she slides her fingers a little to close to the side of his ribcage, causing him to flinch.
VERONICA
What's the matter?
XANDER (saving face)
Oh, nothing.
Her hand strays again, a little lower, and this time he flinches and barely contains a yelp.
VERONICA
Oh, now don't tell me a strong guy like you is ticklish?
XANDER (covering)
Nah, of course not.
VERONICA
Really? Then you won't mind a little test!
With that, she digs into his side, and he can no longer keep it together. He begins laughing and tries to break away, but she's weakening him too much for him to put up a fight.
XANDER
All right!! Hahahaha!! All right, I give!
She doesn't pay attention. Instead she takes advantage of his weakened state to lead him towards the same bushes into which Willow disappeared. As Xander continues to laugh and plead, she gives him a shove and he falls into the same darkness behind the bushes, with her right behind.
CUT to Buffy's room. She is curled up on the sofa, watching TV and munching on popcorn. She is dressed casually, in an old T-shirt, sweats, and white socks. She looks fairly bored, until she feels something lightly flicking at her foot. It barely registers the first time, but a second later it's back, sort of a scraping sensation right under the ball of the foot. She twitches her foot, tries to brush it away, and for a few more seconds it's gone. Then the flicking returns, right under her toes, and this time the ticklish sensation makes her giggle. She checks but sees nothing there. Then the sensation spreads, tickling the toes of both feet.
BUFFY
EEEhehehehehe!!! What the hell?
She rubs her feet to try and drown out the sensation, or feel for something that might be causing it.
BUFFY
Get it together, Buff.
Despite this, the ticklish feelings continue, making Buffy thrash around and wiggle her feet.
BUFFY
Ahehehehehehehehehehehehe!!! Wh-what is that? Hehehehehehehehehehe!!!
She tears her socks off but sees nothing on her bare feet which might be causing the tickling. It escalates, and she throws her head back in laughter and kicks her legs in the air.
BUFFY
Ahhhhhhhh!!! Make it st-stahahahahahahap!!
And then, suddenly, it does stop, and Buffy collapses into a heap on the couch, trying to catch her breath. She is terrified and confused. She curls up and rubs her feet to wipe away the lingering tickling sensations.
CUT to the library, where Giles is closing up for the evening. There is a knock on the door, and he answers it. Buffy is standing there, looking haggard.
BUFFY
Giles, you're not going to believe what just happened.
CUT to a dark room. Not much is visible, other than Willow and Xander sitting on a bench in the center. Their feet are locked in a pillory, and their wrists have been manacled together high over their heads. They are both unconcious. Willow comes to first, and when she notices the predicament it jarrs her into lucidity.
WILLOW
Xander! Xander! Wake up!
She is close enough to him that she can shift her weight and nudge his shoulder with hers. Finally, he comes to as well.
XANDER
Wh-what? What's going on?
He notices he cannot move his arms or legs, and he too is shocked fully awake.
XANDER
Willow? What the hell is this?
WILLOW (terrified)
I don't know. But it's not good.
Two figures emerge out of the shadows.
WILLOW
Max?
XANDER
Veronica?
They eye their captives with sadistic glee. Veronica wanders towards Xander, Max towards Willow.
VERONICA
Don't they look delicious?
MAX
Perfectly helpless.
XANDER (struggling with his bonds)
What the hell's going on here?
WILLOW
Why are you doing this?
MAX
Why, to satiate our master, of course.
Willow and Xander exchange a knowing look.
WILLOW
They're demons. Of course. I finally meet a nice guy, and he's a demon.
XANDER (muttering)
Shit, Buff, where are you?
NOTE: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all characters are registered trademarks of Warner Bros. Inc. The author uses them here only for this work of fiction.
OPEN on the campus at night. A guy and a girl are strolling across a forested area, obviously on a date.
GIRL
. . . yeah, so I haven't really made many friends here yet.
GUY
Give it time. You're a lovely girl. I'm sure you'll make plenty of friends before you know it.
GIRL (blushing)
Thanks.
She yawns, stretching her arms over her head. With a glint in his eye, the boy reaches over and gives her a quick poke in the side. She jumps and lets out a squeal.
GIRL
Hey now! Don't do that!
The boy smiles and continues to tickle around her sides.
GUY
What's the matter? Little ticklish?
She begins tittering and tries to squirm away.
GIRL
Yes! Hehehehehehe!! Hey, come on!! Heeheheehehehee! Cut it out!!
But the boy picks up speed, tickling harder. His smile grows and his eyes get wider, almost entranced. He continues tickling until an unseen figure smothers the girl's mouth with its hand and yanks her body into the bushes. The girls muffled scream is the last thing we hear before:
TITLE SEQUENCE
FADE IN on Buffy in the gym, practicing her fighting moves. Willow peeks her head in and sees Buffy training intently.
WILLOW
Almost done?
BUFFY (without pausing)
One more hour.
CUT to
Willow and Buffy exiting the locker room and walking down the hall.
WILLOW
I don't understand why you put yourself through that much punishment. You're already in good enough shape to kick any vampire's ass without breaking a sweat.
BUFFY
Gotta stay conditioned. Besides, it's good to learn to deal with pain. Being the Slayer's not just hunting and fighting. Demons love to use torture to try and break you.
WILLOW
I doubt any demon could torture you.
BUFFY
And I plan to keep it that way.
Xander enters, sneaking up behind them. When he gets close to Buffy, he reaches out and grabs her ribs. Buffy spins around and laughs out loud, startling Willow. Xander laughs at them both.
BUFFY
Dammit, Xander! How many times have I told you not to tickle me!
XANDER
I can't help it! It's just so much fun.
BUFFY
It's not fair. You know how ticklish I am.
XANDER
That's what makes it fun.
He reaches out and tickles her side quickly, and she leaps away.
BUFFY
You do know I could break you like a dry twig, right?
XANDER
All right, all right, sorry.
The three walk off, but Xander, a step behind the girls, can't resist giving each of them another quick tickle. As they exit the scene, we see that someone has been watching them. It is the guy from the opening scene, with the same sinister look on his face.
CUT to the LIBRARY, where Giles is waiting, immersed in a book. Buffy enters; she has changed out of her gym clothes and into something more fashionable. She knocks on the table to get Giles' attention.
BUFFY
Hey Giles. You wanted to see me?
GILES
Yes, Buffy. Have you heard about the recent disappearances on campus?
BUFFY
At this point, kids disappearing isn't really news anymore. Why, what's up?
GILES
Two students have gone missing the last two weeks, one boy and one girl. I have a feeling it might be connected to this.
He shows Buffy the book. She skims the page quickly.
BUFFY
What's a . . . .vellicator?
GILES
Well, in this case it's some sort of demon. I believe I've heard the term before but I can't quite think of where. At any rate, according to this prophecy the Vellicator is due to return to Earth within the next week. I'm sure these disappearances are tied to his minions somehow.
BUFFY
Human sacrifice? Demonic experiments? Or maybe just a snack?
GILES
I'm not really sure yet. The origin of this name is what's giving me the hardest time right now. You would probably do well to keep your eyes open for any unfamiliar characters with any unusual traits. I don't think these are going to be your ordinary, run of the mill spawns of the underworld.
BUFFY
Cool. I could use a new challenge.
GILES
Just be careful.
BUFFY (exiting)
You know me. I always am.
CUT to Willow hurrying down the hall, arms full of books. The sinister looking fellow who was watching her earlier turns the corner just in time to bump into her, spilling her books.
GUY
Oh, goodness! I'm so sorry! Excuse me!
WILLOW (embarrassed)
Oh, it's all right.
She kneels to collect her books. He kneels to help her and catches her gaze.
GUY (acting bewildered)
I'm Max.
WILLOW
Nice to meet you, Max, I'm Willow.
They stand up. not breaking eye contact.
MAX
Willow . . . what a wonderfully unique name.
WILLOW (blushing)
Thanks.
He grins at her.
CUT to the CAFETERIA, where Xander is carrying his tray and looking for a table. From one side, he hears someone whistling to get his attention. He turns and sees a sexy girl with a come-hither look in her eye alone at a table. She kicks the empty chair towards him, and raises her eyebrows. Xander smiles and happily goes to join her.
CUT to the STUDENT LOUNGE, where Buffy and Xander are sitting and talking. Willow scampers over to join them.
WILLOW
Guys! Guess what! I just met the most amazing guy. His name's Max. We're going to a movie Saturday night.
BUFFY
What a coincidence, Xander was just telling me about the girl he met.
XANDER (proudly)
Veronica.
BUFFY
Yup, looks like it's an Audrey Hepburn movie and popcorn for one for Buffy again this weekend.
WILLOW (sympathetically)
Oh, Buffy, you'll find someone.
BUFFY
Yeah, probably a demon named the velli-something.
XANDER
More trouble from the mouth of Hell?
BUFFY
A Slayer's work is never done.
CUT to the same spot on campus where we first saw Max and his unfortunate date. He is there with Willow this time, again making polite conversation.
MAX
Come over here for a second, I want to show you something.
He leads her towards the bushes.
WILLOW
What?
MAX
Just look. I noticed this the other day.
She wanders in closer, straining to see anything noteworthy.
WILLOW
I don't see anything . . .
MAX
It's right over . . . there!
He gives her a shove, and with a scream Willow disappears into the dark behind the bushes. Max follows her.
CUT to the same spot, a little later that night. Xander and Veronica are walking past now. She's wrapped around his arm, and he's boasting up a storm.
XANDER
So, naturally, I had to come in and save the day.
VERONICA (coyly)
Ooooh, I love a big strong man.
She runs her hand over his chest. He enjoys it until she slides her fingers a little to close to the side of his ribcage, causing him to flinch.
VERONICA
What's the matter?
XANDER (saving face)
Oh, nothing.
Her hand strays again, a little lower, and this time he flinches and barely contains a yelp.
VERONICA
Oh, now don't tell me a strong guy like you is ticklish?
XANDER (covering)
Nah, of course not.
VERONICA
Really? Then you won't mind a little test!
With that, she digs into his side, and he can no longer keep it together. He begins laughing and tries to break away, but she's weakening him too much for him to put up a fight.
XANDER
All right!! Hahahaha!! All right, I give!
She doesn't pay attention. Instead she takes advantage of his weakened state to lead him towards the same bushes into which Willow disappeared. As Xander continues to laugh and plead, she gives him a shove and he falls into the same darkness behind the bushes, with her right behind.
CUT to Buffy's room. She is curled up on the sofa, watching TV and munching on popcorn. She is dressed casually, in an old T-shirt, sweats, and white socks. She looks fairly bored, until she feels something lightly flicking at her foot. It barely registers the first time, but a second later it's back, sort of a scraping sensation right under the ball of the foot. She twitches her foot, tries to brush it away, and for a few more seconds it's gone. Then the flicking returns, right under her toes, and this time the ticklish sensation makes her giggle. She checks but sees nothing there. Then the sensation spreads, tickling the toes of both feet.
BUFFY
EEEhehehehehe!!! What the hell?
She rubs her feet to try and drown out the sensation, or feel for something that might be causing it.
BUFFY
Get it together, Buff.
Despite this, the ticklish feelings continue, making Buffy thrash around and wiggle her feet.
BUFFY
Ahehehehehehehehehehehehe!!! Wh-what is that? Hehehehehehehehehehe!!!
She tears her socks off but sees nothing on her bare feet which might be causing the tickling. It escalates, and she throws her head back in laughter and kicks her legs in the air.
BUFFY
Ahhhhhhhh!!! Make it st-stahahahahahahap!!
And then, suddenly, it does stop, and Buffy collapses into a heap on the couch, trying to catch her breath. She is terrified and confused. She curls up and rubs her feet to wipe away the lingering tickling sensations.
CUT to the library, where Giles is closing up for the evening. There is a knock on the door, and he answers it. Buffy is standing there, looking haggard.
BUFFY
Giles, you're not going to believe what just happened.
CUT to a dark room. Not much is visible, other than Willow and Xander sitting on a bench in the center. Their feet are locked in a pillory, and their wrists have been manacled together high over their heads. They are both unconcious. Willow comes to first, and when she notices the predicament it jarrs her into lucidity.
WILLOW
Xander! Xander! Wake up!
She is close enough to him that she can shift her weight and nudge his shoulder with hers. Finally, he comes to as well.
XANDER
Wh-what? What's going on?
He notices he cannot move his arms or legs, and he too is shocked fully awake.
XANDER
Willow? What the hell is this?
WILLOW (terrified)
I don't know. But it's not good.
Two figures emerge out of the shadows.
WILLOW
Max?
XANDER
Veronica?
They eye their captives with sadistic glee. Veronica wanders towards Xander, Max towards Willow.
VERONICA
Don't they look delicious?
MAX
Perfectly helpless.
XANDER (struggling with his bonds)
What the hell's going on here?
WILLOW
Why are you doing this?
MAX
Why, to satiate our master, of course.
Willow and Xander exchange a knowing look.
WILLOW
They're demons. Of course. I finally meet a nice guy, and he's a demon.
XANDER (muttering)
Shit, Buff, where are you?
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