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Do you have a partner NOT into tickling?

H

Hockeyfeet

TMF Expert
Joined
Jan 18, 2004
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Does anyone here have a spouse, partner, Significant other who is just not into tickling? Just about every relationship Ive been in, the other person was not into it, but to some degree indulged in my fantasies and play time. This time however, my SO used to be very receptive but over time has grown less and less interested. In fact, it’s pretty much not even worth bringing up anymore because it’s always a no, no matter how I change it up.

Just curious how other people have dealt with the swing in mindset from your SO. And no, we’re not splitting up over it but I’d sure like to find a way to relight the spark! Thanks!!!
 
ay Hockeyfeet,
*raises hand* sort of in the same boat.
My wife will occaiassionally give me a poke or a quick rib tickle
when inquiring for more is usually get a "I dunno" and nothing
further happens. :(
I love hearing tickle taunts - the wife says it in such a monotone
it sounds like a huge inconveinence.
 
Hockeyfeet said:
Does anyone here have a spouse, partner, Significant other who is just not into tickling? Just about every relationship Ive been in, the other person was not into it, but to some degree indulged in my fantasies and play time. This time however, my SO used to be very receptive but over time has grown less and less interested. In fact, it’s pretty much not even worth bringing up anymore because it’s always a no, no matter how I change it up.

Just curious how other people have dealt with the swing in mindset from your SO. And no, we’re not splitting up over it but I’d sure like to find a way to relight the spark! Thanks!!!
Click to expand...

I’m pretty sure every response you’re going to get on this subject will be similar to your situation. At first, they’re excited to try it. Then it becomes tedious. Then it becomes annoying. Then it stops.
 
Sadly, my girlfriend equates tickling (even the quick, playful kind) to sexual assault and doesn't believe that anyone actually likes it. It's difficult since we are ideal for each other in every other way.
 
Haven't dated a ton or got into tickle kink among kinks too much with a partner yet, but I feel like men (or at least men I'd be interested in different ways) would be more receptive to tickling and my other kinks than women. Hard to say.
 
My wife does not have a tickle fetish, but she will indulge me from time to time. I will also try to indulge her in the kinky stuff she likes. We don't have tickling sessions every night or every week. Part of this is due to fact that life often gets in the way. Between kids and work it is sometimes hard to find time to have a session, but she has never told me in our 13 years of marriage that she was never going to do it. (knock on wood)
 
Said it before - my wife's not into tickling, even after 40+ yrs. So why'd I marry her? Well, there's other reasons besides tickling. I could go on, but won't.
 
By this point in my life, I've realized that I could never seriously date someone who couldn't at least get into tickling with me, even if they weren't exactly into it for their own sake. But over the years, I've dated a few women who genuinely just hated being tickled, and would almost never let me do it at all. For a couple of them, they got more into it once they connected it in their heads to other kinds of BDSM activities. Like, at the start, it was just "oh no, I hate being tickled." But once they really understood how much sadistic sexual pleasure I'd get from torturing them, then it became something more like, you know, spanking or nipple torture, where they didn't "like" it, but they liked how they hated it. And with another woman who hated being tickled, she nevertheless got into the idea of teasing me about how ticklish she was, and how badly I must want to tickle her. So that was a way for me to still make it part of our sex life without her actually getting tickled.

But, if the issue is less, "she hates being tickled," and more just, she's not interested in it. Well... that honestly sounds like a more fundamental problem than the tickling. Like, if your romantic partner isn't even interested in a major sexual kink of yours, that strikes me as something worth talking about at that level, no matter what it is. Are there particular things that she likes, that you make an effort to make sure is part of your sex life? You might ask her to try thinking about tickling in the same way for you.
 
My wife isn’t really into it, per se, but she DOES indulge me in my fetish! On a scale of one to ten, I’d say her feet were a 6 when it comes to ticklishness. I wish she were an eleven!! But it is what it is. But I DO feel fortunate that she, even though she doesn’t fully understand why I like it so much, let’s me tickle her feet almost anytime I like!
 
the tickleshow said:
Sadly, my girlfriend equates tickling (even the quick, playful kind) to sexual assault and doesn't believe that anyone actually likes it. It's difficult since we are ideal for each other in every other way.
Click to expand...

This is... pretty concerning, to be honest. Like, does your girlfriend not recognize that BDSM is a thing? That people can consent to things that other people might not like? It's one thing to not want to get tickled yourself, but to disparage an entire kink -- and a relatively playful and harmless one at that -- as sexual assault is preposterous.
 
tickle_daemon said:
This is... pretty concerning, to be honest. Like, does your girlfriend not recognize that BDSM is a thing? That people can consent to things that other people might not like? It's one thing to not want to get tickled yourself, but to disparage an entire kink -- and a relatively playful and harmless one at that -- as sexual assault is preposterous.
Click to expand...

It's impossible to get through. She has it in her mind that tickling is the ultimate form of torture and that no one is capable of deriving pleasure from it, despite having told her of past tickle partners. So the Mere mention of tickling puts her on the defensive, ready to push back.
There seems to be a backstory/experience she had that I'm missing, but she isn't owning up to it.
 
the tickleshow said:
It's impossible to get through. She has it in her mind that tickling is the ultimate form of torture and that no one is capable of deriving pleasure from it, despite having told her of past tickle partners. So the Mere mention of tickling puts her on the defensive, ready to push back.
There seems to be a backstory/experience she had that I'm missing, but she isn't owning up to it.
Click to expand...

Ummm..... Aren't u a tickle video producer? Has she not ever came to work with u before? I mean just the fact that you are a video producer should be more than enough to at least give her the notion that yes indeed there are at least a few people/girls whom kinda sorta like being tickled from time to time. Lol
 
Have dated and slept with lots not into it but they get tickled any way start off slow and gentle that tends too win them over a bit way I seen it dude was if you want the bull then you got to deal with the horns to be honest when I took the slow and gentle approach some woman went from hating having there feet bare and touched too loving it maybe just don’t introduce restrains and hard tickling straight away
 
It's the men openly admitting to putting their kink before their partner's comfort for me...

Thoughts and prayers go out to the unsatisfied.
 
Hiphophooray said:
Ummm..... Aren't u a tickle video producer? Has she not ever came to work with u before? I mean just the fact that you are a video producer should be more than enough to at least give her the notion that yes indeed there are at least a few people/girls whom kinda sorta like being tickled from time to time. Lol
Click to expand...

I haven't produced a video in almost 10 years, but thanks. 😀
It's not a rational thought. Arguing with an irrational thought is impossible because you never get through.
 
My boyfriend is not into it. We have been together for 4 years and when we first started dating and I told him, he was very curious about it. Went as far doing research and buying stuff like oil and a tooth brush to try and tickle my feet 😂 bless his heart! Over time tickling disappeared from our relationship. Life happened and we had two kids. Recently though I mentioned to him how important is it to me that it’s incorporated in some way. He has been trying but he also allows me explore tickling with other people since he’s not into it like that.
Maybe your partner will allow you to do the same?
 
Never dated anyone who was into tickling. Almost all of my previous girlfriends allowed me to tickle them, but it was obvious they didn't enjoy it. Never had a problem with my foot fetish though, every single one of them loved getting foot massages and rubs, but when it came to tickling and/or bondage, it was a whole different story.

It's interesting though, and a pretty complex question to say the least. You find someone who is a lovely person and has many wonderful qualities, but sexually things aren't great...So, what do you do? If you're not sexually satisfied, it can lead to problems. But do you sacrifice your fetishes and sexual interests, because you value the other things, and you become sexually frustrated, or you keep looking?

I honestly don't know. I've had a completely opposite experience...I used to go out with a girl, although we never really dated, who was super open to tickling, was extremely ticklish, had the most perfect and cute feet, loved both getting tickled and tickling me...but was a horrible and mean person. It was obvious things weren't going to work out from that perspective, but the sex could have been amazing...

So, I guess it really depends. Depends on what you value, what you're looking for exactly, what you're willing to give up. Nobody's perfect. You just have to be lucky enough to meet the one closest to being perfect :D
 
the tickleshow said:
Sadly, my girlfriend equates tickling (even the quick, playful kind) to sexual assault and doesn't believe that anyone actually likes it. It's difficult since we are ideal for each other in every other way.
Click to expand...

I was really going to stay silent because I don't have a dog in this fight at all.....

BUT I want to say that I respect the fact that even though you love tickling, you allow your girlfriend to have a safe space. It is NOT preposterous in the LEAST bit to hate tickling this much, especially when you have been in a situation that was scary and abusive. A lot of people have been in that situation, and unfortunately, a lot of abusers use tickling as a start to get close to someone before continuing with their sexual assault.

If she is ready, she'll talk about it. She might not, though. As long as you are both committed to the relationship, continue to keep that safe space for her. If you feel you can no longer do that, then honestly bow out gracefully and find someone else.

Unfortunately, this occurs more than one would think, and I don't want anyone to push the notion that someone feeling this way is crazy or ridiculous. You don't have to know the back story. If this is how a person feels, that should be enough to respect that person's position on tickling. (like you are doing)
 
Sunriseticklee said:
I was really going to stay silent because I don't have a dog in this fight at all.....

BUT I want to say that I respect the fact that even though you love tickling, you allow your girlfriend to have a safe space. It is NOT preposterous in the LEAST bit to hate tickling this much, especially when you have been in a situation that was scary and abusive. A lot of people have been in that situation, and unfortunately, a lot of abusers use tickling as a start to get close to someone before continuing with their sexual assault.

If she is ready, she'll talk about it. She might not, though. As long as you are both committed to the relationship, continue to keep that safe space for her. If you feel you can no longer do that, then honestly bow out gracefully and find someone else.

Unfortunately, this occurs more than one would think, and I don't want anyone to push the notion that someone feeling this way is crazy or ridiculous. You don't have to know the back story. If this is how a person feels, that should be enough to respect that person's position on tickling. (like you are doing)
Click to expand...

Thank you for saying this. I appreciate it. I'm never interested in doing something to someone against their will.
I actually got the back story. There is none. She swears up and down that there was never a trauma or incident. It's just how she feels and she won't entertain any other option. It's strange because she has 2 sisters and she has discussed my fetish with both. (Among other personal things) They both think her stance is a bit rigid and both said they would have no problem with it if it was their boyfriends proposing tickling. Troubling.
 
I’ve been in a couple serious relationships where I was indulged. But it was still hard to deal with. I love being tickled, I crave it. As much as my partners knew about it, they wouldn’t tickle torture me for an hour like I wanted. It sucks honestly. I think it’s really important to me and I’d like to be in a relationship where someone will tickle the crap out of me.
 
CS22 said:
I’ve been in a couple serious relationships where I was indulged. But it was still hard to deal with. I love being tickled, I crave it. As much as my partners knew about it, they wouldn’t tickle torture me for an hour like I wanted. It sucks honestly. I think it’s really important to me and I’d like to be in a relationship where someone will tickle the crap out of me.
Click to expand...

Well, you are the kind of woman I would love to meet!
 
the tickleshow said:
Well, you are the kind of woman I would love to meet!
Click to expand...

LOL! Any chance you live in Toronto or close by?? 😃😃😃

To be honest, it would be amazing to meet someone on here and actually have a connection.
 
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