I've had a good deal of success finding guys to communicate with and even meet via Fetlife. I sincerely believe it's a good site for connecting with other kinksters.
Kinksters can have profiles based on every legal kink or fetish they may have. That provides a great deal of freedom.
However, it does not mean that anyone can go on there with free reign to do virtually everything. You cannot harass, bully, slander, send unwanted pics, etc. to folks there. Yes, they do have rules.
One of the ironies I find with many men I read on that site complaining of not being able to find play partners is the approach taken by some of them. Many of the men will have little to nothing on their profiles, no profile pictures (save for a dick pic from some of them) and post requests that seem to have little thought put into them. My favorites are the profiles where someone posts they "don't know what to say about themselves." Gotta think it through before posting. Be real and honest. Most folks crave that.