men vs women (joke)

[steph]

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so
> much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
have
> never figured out why men think with their head and women with their
> heart.
>
> For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting
into
> bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I
> don't
> feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
>
> I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"
>
> She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for
> who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" What every
> boyfriend/husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in
> touch
> with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your
physical
> needs as a man."
>
> Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to
sleep.
> The
> very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her.
> We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed
> department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
> different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take
> so I
> told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment
her
> new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to
> the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings.
>
> Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one
> wave
> short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she
> asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
> tennis. I
> think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She
was
> almost
> nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with
> excited
> anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, Let's go to
the
>
> cashier".
>
> I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel
> like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped
with
a
> baffled
> "WHAT???!!!"
>
> I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
> while..
> You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me
> to
> satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this
look
> like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me
for
> who I
> am and not for the things I buy you?"
>
> Apparently I'm not getting any tonight either

[milagros317]

LMAO
Very funny, Steph.

[MissBeeHaven]

Lol, where do you guys get these jokes from?

[ticklingfeet4fu]

At least we are smart enough to figure out when we are not going to get any.

[Knox The Hatter]

Oh, is that great!!!

[steph]

Glad ya liked, friends!
Oh, Miss Bee, I'm really blessed, funny since birth (you should hear the embarassing baby stories my folks tell!) I attract friends who are funny too~my "material" comes from all over the planet!
XOXO

[ticklingfeet4fu]

We are all laughing with you Steph . I find your stories funny and apparently so does the forum.

[steph]

Stay tuned then, cuz there's more coming....
XOXO

[ticklingfeet4fu]

Can't wait sweetie. Am looking forward to it.

[SimplyRio]

Well, Steph, I think I may be able to help you answer that age-old question of... what where they thinking!?!? Or, rather, a graphic explanation of why men (and women) think the way they do.





In all fairness, we must scrutinize their female counterparts...

[steph]

Oh too funny Rio!
My friend sent me a drawing of a naked man & a naked woman, it was entitled "Erogenous Zones." There were arrows pointing all over the woman's body and the man also had like 10 arrows, all pointing at his johnson!
XOXO

[natural tickler]

I could never pull that joke off with a straight face...


good stuff, steph