Some old 'puter humor you've probably heard

[JoBelle]

This is an oldie, but it still makes me laugh~!

Cannot find REALITY.SYS.

Universe halted.

COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key

2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN

<-------- The information went data way -------->

Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 100% compression

The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding

The name is Baud......, James Baud.

BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go! (THis is the big football weekend, eh??)

Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!

C:\> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner. Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay.....

Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope) (My computer really says that~!)

Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups.

E Pluribus Modem ..

File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny

A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.

An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.

CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?

A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.

11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.

Windows: Just another pane in the glass.

SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .

Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?

Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.

RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.

Shell to DOS... Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...

All computers wait at the same speed.

DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.

Press -- to continue ... Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.

Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!

All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981 DOS

Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS

Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS

Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...

Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.

REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)

Sped up my XT; ran it on 220v! Works greO?_~"

Read my chips: No new upgrades!

Hit any user to continue.

2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!

I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!

Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?

Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.

Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (T)hrowup

Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic (A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network? (A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.

Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with
inanimate objects.

If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.

And my favorite......Does fuzzy logic tickle?

[P.H. Tickler]

Good stuff, this post is Nerdvana!











In a world without fences... who needs Gates? ... popular LINUX motto

[MistressMia]

Thanks JoBelle, that was cute. Nice of you to share it.

[guitman69]

From the Simpsons:

Home is sitting at his computer at home.

"Press any key to star"

"Where's the any key? I see esk (esc), pig up (PgUp), and catarl (ctrl), but there isn't any any key. Whew, all this computer hacking is making me thirsty. I think I'll order a tab." He presses the tab key and holds cup up to disk drive.

"Oh, no time for that, the computers started."

[Dave2112]

Great post, really funny!