A Question

I was wondering if anyone has ever hated their tickling fetish? Like wished it would just go away. Oh I know I have. And yet, it's better than having a fetish for something else, something more worse. I just wish I didn't like tickling so much. I love it, the whole reaction and turn on factor is incredible to me. But it's not like I can tickle my girlfriend every second, it just wouldn't work. She doesn't really like it all that much. She doesn't mind it, but it's more of a punishment sort of. Like if she's bad, I tickle her, and if I'm bad, she tickles me. But not for any other reason like for a turn on. I want so bad to sit there and tickle her, but it wouldn't work. I guess I'm sort of blabbing on but I don't know where else to post this but here. Anyone have any opinions or feel sort of the same way?

i still hate it and wish it would go away. with me its always been fear of discovery and the reaction following discovery. my dad made a comment one time that i spend more time looking at womens feet then i do their chest. i thought id piss my pants right there. to this day i still dont know if he made any connections. youd think after living in fear so long that itd almost be a relief to be found out but youd be wrong. fear and tickling have always gone hand in hand in my case therefore its been a love/hate relationship. there are worse fetishes yeah but this is the one im stuck with and its not something people im related to or aquainted with would consider "normal". but its hardwired into my brain and theres no getting rid of it so its something i just gotta live with it like it or not.

Oddly.. that thought has come to me.
I mean, I could have been given some real nasty fetishes but only was given a tickling one. I have a minor in the foot category.

But anyway, it's hard for me to control on the beach. Too many bare feet with my fetish driving wild. It's like I have to close my eyes or
not go. It doesn't always happen that way but when my desire to tickle goes mad, I get upset at myself. I still practice to this day how to ease the "drive". Usually popping in a tickle vid does it but I can't do that at the beach!

Sometimes it does drive me crazy but again, it's brought me some fun times too.

DK

HEY I CAN RELATE!! Although it's LOTS of fun, if there was a cure, I would be first on line to get it and resort to jumping on my trampoline for FUN!

Agony and Ecktasy

My tickle fetish is both. I have had a couple of good tickle relationships and there is nothing in the world like it. Conventional sex can never match sex during/after a tickle event. During the dry spells, which seems to be all the time nowadays, it is horrible. In the back of my mind I fear my fetish will automatically eliminate me from a desireable girl's interest. That is my fear.

Fear and Loathing

Well...some days it's that. Like DK and others have said, the fetish is a mixed bag at best. Sometimes I love my tickling/foot fetish, other days I am momumentally, extremely depressed about. The whole Tickling/Guilt/Religion thing is reserved for another, much longer post, but I wrangle with it most every day.

But that doesn't mean that I hate myself or that I haven't enjoyed my fetish. I've been happily involved in many relationships where tickling played a role. Not THE role, but enough of one that the usually figured out that tickling was a turn-on for me. I even told the first girl I dated, then was horrified at what I'd done. I told her in a letter and had to wait about a week for the response (long-distance dating sucked, but we wrote some wonderful letters). Anyway, she was ok with it and never brought it up again, though when saw each other a few months later, we went right back into playful tickling as a prelude to making out.

One more thing: the fetish is hard-wired into us. We don't learn it, though I do believe some fetish/obsessions are socially reinforced. We're not to blame, per se. It's part of who we are, but it isn't us. So let's not be too hard on ourselves.

I'd definitely wish to get rid of the fact that i get physically turned on when tickling a woman. That is very bothersome (but not driving in any way).

for some reason this thread made me think of a class offered at my university that deals with working with handicapped people..... one of the course requirements is that everyone in the class has to dress strangely on a particular day so that they "stand out". this is to give everyone some insight as to what it feels like to be ogled and stared at much like handicapped people must feel quite often, and hopefully to provide insight into how unpleasant that must be. The result will hoepfully also be that everyone who goes through that experience will be less likely to stare at or judge those who are "different".

I feel having a fetish has provided me with the same opportunity. I know what it feels like to be "different" even if I don't wear it on my sleeve all the time. Because I don't want to be judged for my interests, I have opened my mind up a bit more and am less likely to judge others. Because of this, I feel like my fetish has been a gift that has provided me an opportunity to open myself up to more that the world has to offer, and while yes, sometimes it has made me feel a bit like a freak, I think everyone is a bit of a freak in some way shape or form.

I hope everyone here will learn to love themselves for who they are, tickling fetish and all.

I have absolutely no desire to even try to rid myself of my fetish. It's a part of who I am. If you get rid of that, what else might get thrown away with it? I think that people spend far too much time worrying about ridding themselves of their inherent personalities in order to fit into some other people's perceptions of normal...and not enough time trying to figure out how to comfortably live with themselves and make it work. This goes for a lot more than just tickling.

It's like the old parable...

A scorpion was on the bank of a river and asked a turtle if he could ride piggy-back to get across. The turtle says "If I let you on my back, you will sting me and I will die."

The scorpion says, "If I sting you and you die, I will drown, so what purpose would that serve?"

Satisfied with the scorpion's explanation, the turtle allows him to climb on his back. About halfway across the river, the scorpion stings the turtle on the neck.

With his dying breath, the turtle says, "But now you will drown as well! Why did you sting me?"

"I am a scorpion," he replied, "It is my nature..."

Snake...

Okay..I heard it, but with a snake...figures Dave has it differently! We've discussed this issue in a few other threads....and my opinion still hasn't changed. The "lust" that the "normals" feel is a pale shadow of the emotion our fascination/fetish produces in us...why would you settle for their puny imitation of passion? Embrace it my fellow TKVampires....for you are among the chosen few who can experience the range of unfettered raw roaring power unleashed by our hardwired craniums! We fear the scorn of the normals, but rather we should pity them and fear their jealousy should they ever know what we feel every day... Q

For the sake of truth and so that everyone has the full range of options at his or her disposal, I have to take issue with one idea that appears in this thread.

Many people believe that an intense interest in tickling is "hard-wired" into their brains or personalities. I do not agree. It is true that the "fetish" (or inclination, or whatever you choose to name it) can begin at a rather young age--as it did for me. However, this doesn't mean you were "born" that way. What it does mean is that the things which shape and influence our sexuality start very, very early--well before any of us are much aware of what is going on.

Of course, this is not to say that we *choose* to have this interest, anymore than we choose other basic elements of our personality which were deeply affected by all kinds of factors during our development. Maybe there is some "predisposition" to it which is innate--that is certainly possible. But the point is that having a tickling fetish is not like being born with two arms or with the capacity to feel love.

The reason all this matters is as follows: I believe it is possible to adjust the character of one's sexuality. This would be accomplished through serious and sensitive psychotherapy conducted over a sustained period. NOW HEAR ME CAREFULLY PLEASE--I am NOT saying that one SHOULD try to change one's sexuality or interest in tickling. I AM saying that I believe it is possible to do so--with a lot of work and the right assistance--IF one feels the need and motivation to make the effort. By the way--to me this would not be a "cure" because the interest is not a "disease".

BUT, if there are people around here who truly "hate it and wish it would go away", they should not be told to just live with their sexuality as it is. There are options for change which can be explored--again--IF they really want to change. I would love to see everyone here reach the kind of sexual satisfaction which, for them, makes their lives as fulfilling as possible.

dig dug dog

That's kind of what I meant by "Figuring out how to comfortably live with themselves and make it work", but you put it much better. I'm not saying that people should just accept things if they don't make them happy, but simply that one should not try to change their nature just because others might not like it.

Dave,

My post was not directed at yours (or any one person's). I am very comfortable with what you wrote...

ddd

I am perfectly happy. Learning to control sexual desires is key for all, and I am working on that more and more. It does get easier.

Oh, I know your reply wasn't directed anywhere in particular, DDD. I was just adding to what you said, which was pretty good. And in hindsight, mine might not have been too clear.

I don't post much, but I felt compelled to add my thougths to this thread.

Personally, I've started to resent my interest in tickling. I've been with enough women to know that I need a woman who's far more than just ticklish. Yet I also know that I could never be happy with a woman who wasn't, regardless of how great a person she might be otherwise. It's hard enough finding that someone special as it is. But having to add ticklishness and the ability to tolerate/enjoy it to the list prerequisites is just too much sometimes. I've read posts from guys who are married to women who aren't ticklish and my hat's off to them. They are far better than I. I wish I was able to enter into relationships without this 'hang up'. However if I ever do meet a gal who I'm compatible with and meets my tickle needs as well, then it'll be one helluva a ride! Just my 2 cents.

Rob

Thank you

Holy cow! Thank you all for all your replies! It makes me feel better when others can relate. I read through most of your posts, I still have more to read, but I felt I needed to say some more. Me and my girlfriend have been together for 8 and a half months now. It's been incredible. And we are playing on staying together forever. Tickling is strange in our relationship. She seems to be more of a tickler. It's rather funny actually. She tickles me twice as much as I tickle her. Mostly cuz she is insanely ticklish, my opinion anyway. I think somewhere between insanely ticklish and just a little ticklish is the best place to be. But anyway, I haven't found my tickle fetish a major problem, but it's just when I'm around her I have this uncontrollable urge to tickle her and it hurts. There's like a major build of sexual pressure or something and tickling relieves it in a sense. I'm thinking of talking to her about it. But it seems weird to me. Tickling is usually associated with being a kid. It's thought of as something funny, not ever sexual. Except for us rare tickle fanatics. But like many have said, if I could rid myself of this fetish, I would surely do it.

Feettickler and friends,

I know this song. I've sung it sometimes going to sleep at night, I've sung it walking out of bookstores in which I lingered way too long, but mostly I've sung it the day after I would waste an incredible amount of time focussing energy on it like, say, on the computer till dawn's early light, or trolling for an entire evening through shops or aforementioned bookstores hunting for tickle opportunities. I know the song. And that's what it is, because it comes and goes. In light rotation sometimes, heavier at others.

For me, the albatross was the damn Mr. Hyde mentality that I'd slip into. If you know what I'm talking about, come on raise your hands. I'd spend an entire night reading tickling stories. I'd stop to watch a video. Then I'd find a ticklish girl and IM her till I couldn't keep my eyes open. Gorging on internet tickling material, like a pig rolling around in mud, overdosed my libido, knocked me way off balance, and made pursueing ticklelust my Prime Directive.

ForgottenTcklr said it earlier in this thread. Keep the sexual desires in check, that's the key. I'm not saying to abstain, not by any means, I mean, look at me. I'm here. I'm reading the tickling stories.

Let's just all make sure we balance successfully, okay?

I was so thrown off a year and a half ago that I blew off very cute, and very ticklish, women in order to frequent a dungeon here in LA, where I could have a nothing-but-tickling relationship with the submissives. This was heaven to me. Thinking it's what I wanted, I started dating one of them, then living with her, then making plans to buy a house together and live happily ever after. The whole time she was screwing with my mind, telling me that she loved me but (admitting more than a year later) never really feeling it. After setting up house with us and promising forever, she up and left one day to pursue a career making tickling videos (in fact, she's advertised right now on our beloved TMF's homepage!) She broke my heart and my two little sons' hearts, and it was a hard lesson I had to learn. I tell you this sob story because it's a cautionary tale to anyone who lets their ticklelust weigh TOO heavily in their lives, endangering their sense of self-worth.

Don't hate your tickling fetish - it's the very best of ALL the fetishes in the world! Think of how fun tickling is. Think of how fun being tickled is. (I'll never stop mentioning how I was restrained and tickled by 5 women at once at a tickle gathering in Philadelphia. Man, what a rush!) (Though I'm much more of a tickler, dammit.) Don't hate your tickling fetish - adore it and let others adore it (they will!). But feel free to take pains to keep your libido in line. No addiction is a good addiction. There's a group called SLA - Sex & Love Addiction - it's an AA for people who can't keep their libidos under control. It's perfect for those of us who would like guidance reeling it in. There's NOTHING wrong with just checking a meeting like that out -- the worst that could happen is that you leave bored. The best that could happen is that you feel better than you have in months, and when you tickle your ticklee it is without any trace of guilt or reproach.

Also, please feel free to email me if you like. I'm 31, I live in Los Angeles; and my tickling fetish and I are not only back on speaking terms, but we get along great for the first time ever!

Now I'm going to unpause the Tom Waits CD, post a story in the Stories section, and then finish my Christmas cards.

I am a raindog too.

Boomtown

wow

that was just an awesome post , boomtown. this thread was making me consider starting a thread about obsession, and too much of a good thing, but you said it way better than I ever would have, because you have life experiences to draw from. so I'll just ride your coattails on this one.

In psychological realms, someone is only diagnosed with a disorder when whatever aspect of their personality controls them to the point that it interferes with their functioning in life, or other people's functioning in life (there is a bit more to it, but this works for now)..... translation: don't let your tickling fetish run your life, or else it is harmful.

Wow, that was a really good post boomtown. That makes a lot of sense and holds a lot of truth. I guess I really don't hate my fetish and want it to go away. In all truth, it really is one of the better fetishes. Tickling is fun, it's not gross, perverted, or stupid really. Some might think that, but most don't. I guess I'm sort of glad about my fascination of tickling. But anyways, that's about all I have to say. I think I'll reconsider my views on my feelings for tickling.

Damn, Boom, you sure have a way with words, brother. Well crafted, sir!

Got me t'spin a little Waits myself, too.

dvnc

Slappy, thanks for the props.

Feettickler, sounds good to me.

And Davey, thanks, man. If I can move someone to throw Tom Waits into the CD player, then my words were successful enough for me. It's all about the love, brother.

Boom

I love it cause i think tickling always makes people happy

This is an interesting thread, and I feel compelled to add my 2 cents.

Up until a few years ago, I'd kept my tickling fetish entirely to myself. I think the girlfriends I had as a teenager were well aware of my love for tickling, but the term 'fetish' was never used. As I got older, I began to explore my love of tickling (thanks to the wonderful internet), but at the same time, I grew more and more ashamed of having this secret love. I lived in fear of being 'discovered', and while I was able to share my feelings with complete strangers online, the people closest to me were oblivious.

I finally shared my views with a girl from online that I actually met, and things improved from there. I told another friend (also a female), and I became more comfortable hinting to whoever might be my significant other at the time that I might have a fetish. And this past summer, I pursued a woman to whom I openly admitted I had a tickling fetish, and my present girlfriend I told right away.

In each case where I shared my dirty little secret, I was never once ridiculed or made to feel like a freak, which of course was my great fear. And sharing this with my present girlfriend was the greatest thing I've ever done. While she's not into it like I am, she understands that it turns me on, and is willing to watch the videos with me or play in the bedroom for my sake. I've never been happier with my life, my love life, or my personality. I'm not about to go shouting it off the rooftops or making a speech over Christmas dinner that I have a tickling fetish, but the person in my life closest to me knows, and that's all the acceptance and peace of mind I needed.

Hope this helps.

A Verbose Laughter