10 Rules for Job Interviews

[Daumantas]

1. Saying "fuck you," regardless of context, is always inappropriate.

2. No one wants to see your private parts.

3. Even if the interviewer approves of "social drinking," downing an entire fifth of vodka during the interview will count against you.

4. Never allude to the interviewer's nose hairs.

5. Do not drive into the interviewer's office on a motorcycle, scooter, moped, or any other type of propelled vehicle (unless handicapped).

6. Entering the interviewer's office accompanied by five adult gorillas may be intimidating to the interviewer, but this could backfire.

7. After brushing your teeth prior to the interview, never varnish them.

8. Words not to use when asked to describe yourself: "weird; sloppy; disgusting; stupid; worthless; paranoid; obsequious" (the last one because no one will know what it means).

9. When mailing a thank-you letter after the interview, do not scribble it on the back of an old issue of Tales from the Asylum.

10. Do not send email to the potential employer from an address like "[email protected]."

 

[ticklishbbw]

I have one to add to this list. A close friend actually said this during his interview! When asked what your weaknesses are, its not a good idea to reply, "Tall Blondes." He didn't get the job!

 

[Strelnikov]

When speaking to the interviewer, address him in a manner befitting his status. Hint: it's not "Ace."

Strelnikov

 

[qjakal]

Humor...

Too bad I wasn't the guy interviewing your friend.....I'd have given him points for honesty and creativity. As someone who used to do this for a living, there's just no telling what people may do when they're nervous. I've had people actually become physically ill during an interview and use the wastebasket for unintended purposes...yuk. The "blank stare" that extends beyond 10 seconds is a bit creepy also..lol. Q

 

[ticklishbbw]

Re: Humor...

Too bad I wasn't the guy interviewing your friend.....I'd have given him points for honesty and creativity.

Actually, I think the interviewer did say something like that. This came at the end of an extremely long interview, I think my friend was getting delirious! He doesn't even like blondes (so he says!)