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20 Types You Meet in the Men's Room

Sunriseticklee

3rd Level Orange Feather
Joined
Jan 9, 2002
Messages
2,687
Points
38
20 Types You Meet in the Men's Room

1) Excitable -- Shorts half-twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts.
2) Sociable -- Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not.
3) Cross-eyed -- Looks into the next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed.
4) Timid -- Cannot piss if someone is watching, flushes urinal, comes back later.
5) Indifferent -- All urinals being used, pisses in sink.
6) Clever -- No hands, fixes tie, looks around, usually pisses on floor.
7) Worried -- Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick inspection.
8) Frivolous -- Plays stream up, down and across urinal, tries to hit flies and bugs.
9) Absent-Minded -- Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants.
10) Childish -- Pisses directly in bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble.
11) Sneaky -- Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows man in other stall will be blamed.
12) Patient -- Stands very close for a long time, reads with free hand.
13) Desperate -- Waits in long line, teeth floating, pisses in pants.
14) Tough -- Bangs dick on side of urinal to dry.
15) Efficient -- Waits until he has to crap and does both.
16) Fat -- Backs up and takes a blind shot at urinal, pisses in shower.
17) Little -- Stands on box, falls in, drowns.
18) Drunk -- Holds left thumb in right hand, pisses in pants.
19) Disgruntled -- Stands for a while, gives up, walks away.
20) Conceited -- Holds two-inch dick like baseball bat.

DON'T BE SHY GUYS! Which one describes YOU!
HAHAHAHAHAHA...

Live, Laugh and TICKLE
Sunriseticklee
:Kiss2:

(If I repeat a joke that we have already had posted... LET Me know... NAW just get over it! LOL)
 
This is a real blast from the past, Sunrise. I first saw it over 30 yrs ago. In that version, Number 9 said, "UNBUTTONS vest..." Trousers haven't had button fly since the end of WW-II so it wasn't new then. But it's funny anyway, because it's mostly true.

Strelnikov
 
hahaha man that's funny. :D
Last time i went i read through Great Expectation twice so i must be really patient. :rolleyes:
 
I'm..

Number 5. BY the way guys. There ARE urinial rules. I'm hoping every guy here follows them.

Tron
 
Sunrise, sweetheart, when was the last time you were in the men's room?


*Dances* Oh, yes! Uh-huh! I'm bad!

:firedevil :angel: YOU be the judge!
 
Double T said:
Sunrise, sweetheart, when was the last time you were in the men's room?


*Dances* Oh, yes! Uh-huh! I'm bad!

:firedevil :angel: YOU be the judge!


I used to chase guys in there when I was in highschool. LOL

But that doesn't matter.... DOUBLE T... I am going to kick your candy ass! LOL

SUNRISE
:sowrong:
 
Rules..

For instance. You never purposelly use a urinal next to an occupied one.

If there are urinals closer to the shitter and the sink ALWAYS use the urinal closest to the sink, UNLESS of course the one next to it is occupied.
NEVER talk to the guy next to you. EVER.

If you are in a situation where you are forced to use a urinal which is next to an occupied urinal AND you have to go that badly, USE THE SINK.

HOWEVER, if there are partitions between the urinal you may use a urinal that is next to an occupied one, BUT talking is still not allowed. You may however acknowledge someones presence with a grunt.

There is no excuse for an even number of urinals. Acceptable numbers are 1 or 3 urinals. Optimum numbers are 5 and 7. If an even number cannot be avoided the MINIMUM allowed is 6.

Tron
 
Re: Rules..

Neutron said:
HOWEVER, if there are partitions between the urinal you may use a urinal that is next to an occupied one, BUT talking is still not allowed. You may however acknowledge someones presence with a grunt.

Tron

Don't forget that in this situation, you stare strait ahead, or strait down the whole time.

This is where graphity, and newpapers over the urinal come in handy.
 
Avoid any form of eye contact whatsoever.

If necessary, inspect the pipes on the ceiling to avoid making eye contact.
 
God, I've always wondered how you guys can do that right in front of each other lol. Seems so unnecessarily stressful.
 
Stressful?

Guess I'm not a shy person...although i DO follow the unwritten (till now) code of urinal conduct also...BUT the whole point of the place is to relieve stress, Maria...lol....and it is only as stressful as you make it! Now, can anyone address the whole handwashing and air blower vs paper towels fiasco? Q
 
I defy anyone to use a public urinal if they're standing next to a guy who's 2 feet taller than them! :blaugh:
 
Depending on how many pints I've had, I'm a mixture of the first 19!:devil:
 
I'm definitely # 20. STRRRRIKE!!!

Rules? What rules? Never heard of it. I always wondered why people got so tense when I asked them why they had so much hair down there, and if they wouldn't like to consider circumcision (It makes it bigger)... even my honest congratulations while oggling didn't seem to find much appreciation. Finally I get a clue why that might be...

Pissing in the sink! Gross! I DRINK from that thing! *burp*
 
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