Tickleslave07
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I've taken the liberty of re-working this into a much better read.
I'm looking for very serious feedback on this, so if your a lurker
please no offence but go lurk somewhere else thank you.
My dream as it has been for years is to be a writer although it
has been a challenge I love doing it.
And I'd also love to be able to breath life into my original character
Eddie James. So without further ramblings on my part I hope you
enjoy my new prologue of "The Case Of The Enslaved Souls"
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The Case of the Enslaved Souls
Prologue
Page 1
Eddie had defended his black belt in karate for the fifth and final time. Now he rode his Harley Davidson Motorcycle to the annual fair. He often liked to come to the fair to reconnect with the happier times of his youth, but sometimes he remembered the incident that snatched away his innocence.
Up until 1977, Eddie and his uncle Jessie used to come to the fair every year, but soon both their circumstances made it impossible for either of them to attend. Eddie couldn’t because of his competition schedule. Uncle Jessie couldn’t because he’d often be on a stakeout, or he’d be assigned to protecting a witness for the D.A.
As he pulled into the parking lot, he wore a Van Halen tee-shirt, blue jeans, chaps and leather biker boots with silver tips. Eddie parked his Harley after circling a couple of times. As he stepped off, he overheard a couple arguing.
“You know something bitch, you really love embarrassing me in front of my boys here, like this.”
Eddie tipped his mirrored sunglasses down to the edge of his nose. The young lady sat on a fence with long light-brown hair and killer blue eyes. She wore tight blue jean shorts. He guessed her measures were 36-24-36.
Eddie thought the guy who insulted her looked like an abusive obnoxious twit. He had long black hair, a scraggly beard and brown teeth. He sort of resembles a national spokesperson for psychos are us magazine.
“Carlos, let’s see, gee, I clean for you, cook for you, and even do your laundry for you, so I guess that entitles me to come here for a little fun, so deal with it!”
Eddie admired her for standing up for herself. He couldn’t imagine why anyone would mistreat such a stunning woman. Eddie turned around and removed his leather chaps.
Out of the corner of his right eye, he saw the crazy boy friend push her off the fence. They walked off laughing. *
Eddie couldn’t stand it anymore. He waited until her boyfriend and his friends were near the fair entrance.
Eddie raced over. “Are you alright?” He took her hand and pulled her up. Even though she was covered in thick mud, his eyes couldn’t escape the fact that this young lady was still quite beautiful.
“Thank you...yes I'm fine.”
* “Are you sure your not hurt anywhere, Miss?”
“Yes, I'm sure I think so at least. My names Lori-Ann and thank you for asking, but I'm pretty sure I'm not hurt anywhere; at least not physically.”
“Oh excuse me, Lori-Ann my name's Eddie by the way.”
“So much for me trying to enjoy myself here today.”
Page 2
Eddie turned at the sound of laughing. Her boyfriend and his buddies lingered by the entrance.
“Hold that thought before giving up on enjoying yourself here.”
As Lori was about to answer, Carlos and his friends jogged over.
Carlos stepped up to Eddie and folded his arms. “Stranger if I were you I'd forget about helping her unless you really want to get hurt yourself for butting into something that's clearly none of your business.” He poked Eddie in the chest with his finger.
Eddie took Lori’s hand and walked around them. Carlos charged forward and hit Eddie in the gut, knocking him down to his knees.
Carlos hovered over him. “Alright, you nosey bastard. No more hints. My boys and I are going to teach you a painful lesson, so you might want to take notes.”
Eddie remembered that uncle Jessie always used to tell him that people were entitled to their opinions. However, Eddie knew even his uncle would admit it was time to teach these guys some manners.
One of them grabbed Eddie from behind and pulled him up. They held him as another man hit him in the stomach repeatedly. “Ah, what's the matter hero? That hurt?”
Even though it did, Eddie would never acknowledge it to them.
“STOP IT CARLOS! STOP IT! YOUR GOING TO KILL HIM!”
“Shut up bitch! You know something? This is your fault.”
Carlos laughed as he watched Eddie fall, but just before he hit the ground, Eddie suddenly flipped back up into a standing position.
“Alright, now that you had your chance to beat on me a while, quite unsuccessfully I might add, let’s see how you bozo's can take it. C’mon, let's dance.” Eddie hit the one to his left, breaking his nose. He
hit the next one with a stiff arm, knocking him to the ground, out cold.
“One down three to go. Who’s next?”
The second man charged him, trying to knock him off his feet. Eddie flipped him up and over. The man fell hard crashing into the fence behind them.
“Uh oh, there goes number two down for the count.”
Eddie smiled as the third friend made a well timed exit, running for his life out of the fairground parking lot.
“Now that one was the smartest one. I guess it's just you and I, Carlos. Hope you brought your dancing shoes.”
Carlos turned and ran for it. Eddie waited until they were out of site.
“Thank God.” He dropped to one knee and held his left side.
“Eddie! Oh my God!” She ran up to Eddie, carefully placed her arm around him and tried to help him up. “You’re hurt I'm so sorry are you...”
Page 3
“Lori, thank you. I'll be alright as long as no one punches me.”
She wrapped her around him and helped him up.
Eddie caught her warm smile. “Tell you what, if you give a hand back over to my bike then give me a couple minutes, I'll let you follow me back to my nearby cabin so you can clean up. Then if you want to come back, I'll be more than happy to escort you around?”
Lori nodded playfully and assisted him back over to his Harley. “There you go. Are you sure you can ride?”
Eddie slowly nodded and straddled his bike. “Why don't you go back to your car now and follow me.”
She hurried off to her car. Eddie fired up his Harley and drove out, waiting for her to leave next. She pulled out in a classic dark green Dodge Charger with black stripes underneath both doors.
They arrived at the cabin a few miles from the fair. Unfortunately, the only place Lori could go clean up was at the nearby quarry. Eddie hoped she wouldn’t mind, considering that they just met.
They pulled into the dirt driveway. The cabin rested three feet off the ground on a foundation that existed before Eddie and his uncle Jessie built it.
Eddie remembered it start out just as a fun idea to build a cabin in the woods with his uncle. During vacations, they’d head out to work on it.
It had five steps leading up to a wrap around porch, which had another set in the back. In addition, it also had an easy access to the trail that lead straight to the quarry.
Lori waited outside for him as he went inside, grabbing a bar of soap, two towels and a bottle of shampoo. Inside was a small kitchen, a sitting area with a fireplace and a loft with three beds over looking the downstairs of the cabin.
Eddie returned quickly with the things and led the way to the quarry. Her stamina impressed him. She never complained about having to walk barefoot over the rough terrain.
“How’s your injury doing dose it still hurt?” she asked, walking side by side.
Eddie felt her warm hand placing itself into his.
“The pain is not so bad. I’ve felt worse, but thank you for asking.”
They smiled at each other just before breaking though the trees to see the sun’s rays hitting the shimmering water.
“Oh my it’s . . .it’s beautiful,” Lori said.
They stepped onto a rocky ledge. Eddie remembered the place to be a secretive hidden paradise where he had spent past summers either swimming or just coming to meditate.
“So, I guess you’d like to clean up here, huh?”
Lori turned with a twinkle in her eyes and nodded in immediate approval.
Eddie placed the things down for her and respectfully left her there alone to bath in privacy, although he did feel some temptation to watch he was not brought up that way. His uncle Jessie raised him to respect all people.
Page 4
Eddie went up high and out of sight. He removed his shirt and tucked it into one of his belt loops. He made himself comfortable, sitting upon a nearby rock with his legs crossed.
Eddie closed his eyes and began meditating and using his trained breathing techniques. Even though his outward appearance may have looked relaxed, he wanted to clam his inner spirit or chi.
Never having a girlfriend over the years bothered him. All the training and competitions left him with no time for a social life. This hurt him deeply. He considered that with his retirement from Karate there might be a chance.
Minutes later, he opened his eyes. Lori stood in front of Eddie, smiling down up him. She was poised like an angel with the sun behind her. He watched her towel drying her lengthy hair.
“Thanks for suggesting this place to me. It’s extremely beautiful here.”
“You’re welcome. I agree it’s exceptionally beautiful, although I have to be honest with you this is my first time back here with someone else.”
“Huh? I would have imagined you utilizing this place for bringing all your dates.”
“I guess I could’ve been using it for that, but my uncle wouldn’t have approved.”
“Wait a minute! Let me get this straight. You mean to tell me that I’m the first woman you ever brought here?”
Eddie sensed an awkward moment about to occur. “Yes, you are the first lady I’ve had here before, but don’t be frightened of me. I’m nothing like your boyfriend or his buddies.”
“I know Eddie, your certainly not like him at all. But Carlos is usually sweeter than that actually.
It's hanging around those other guys at the carnavil that changes him.” Seeing a lone tear trickling down her cheek Eddie gently wipes it away with his finger.
Smiling back at him Lori continues dressing.
“No disrespect intended when I say this Lori, but in my opion I certainly wouldn't go running back to him for a couple of days no telling what he'd do to you.”
Seen putting back on her still muddied tee shirt.
She smiles looking back to him then says “You know something, I'm actually quite flattered that you care that much to have said that to me.” Walking back over to him next Lori-Ann looks down upon him.
They stared at each other. Eddie glanced at her mouth. She leaned closer to him and their lips met for a brief moment. Lori leaned back and grinned. Eddie smiled slightly, feeling blessed having met Lori-Ann, let alone to have kissed her.
Page 5
Eddie gathered up the various items and proceeded to escort Lori-Ann back to the cabin.
She didn't actually verbally say to him that he was wrong about her boyfriend Carlos, but she thought to herself that maybe Eddie was right in what he had said earlier.
“You may have been right before?” Smiling looking over at him.
“Oh About?” With his eyes focused on the the trail ahead of him Eddie listened.
“About what I'd do if I left here; more than likely Carlos would find me then try and talk me into taking him back.”
“And?” Eddie continues listening to Lori-Ann trying to make some sense out of her boyfriend.
“And after that stunt he pulled at the fairgrounds with his buddies there watching.
You were right by the way too. I shouldn't go running back to him after that.” Watching him smiling Lori couldn't really help but smile herself as she continued watching him.
“What? Did I say something funny.” Stopping to watch him Eddie stopped just short of the cabin door to say back.
“No, you didn't say anything funny. I'm actually proud of the way you assessed the seriousness of how Carlos acts around his so called friends that's all.” Lifting his head up to look at her.
“Yeah, well I kind of warned him that if he did anything in front of his friends to me I was going to make him sweat. So with my mind already made up not to go running back to him. Now all I have to do is find a place to lay low until I'm ready to go back to him?” Nodding his head next Eddie turns to open the door of the cabin.
Once inside Lori-Ann mearly gazed in awe to the way she'd imagine it would look like..
“Wow! I'm impressed this is very, very nice.” Smiling back in her direction Eddie closes the door after her.
“Thank you, I really wasn't sure if you'd like it. It's honestly just a place to come to you know, get away from the everyday craziness.”
“Well, you and your uncle did an marvelous job with it I'm extreamly impressed.” Sharing another smile between them Eddie invites her to stay and have dinner with him.
Natuarally with no where to really go Lori-Ann excepts her host gracious invitation and stays.
While Eddie grills up two steaks a couple of baked and tosses a salad Lori-Ann tells him about herself with tales of growing up an only child.
After which Eddie discribes his life also in as much detail as he could. Telling Lori-Ann about his twin brother Elvis. And even enlightning her about his still deleveloping special gift of soarts.
Much to Lori-Ann's amazement she mearly smiles back at him.
I'm looking for very serious feedback on this, so if your a lurker
please no offence but go lurk somewhere else thank you.
My dream as it has been for years is to be a writer although it
has been a challenge I love doing it.
And I'd also love to be able to breath life into my original character
Eddie James. So without further ramblings on my part I hope you
enjoy my new prologue of "The Case Of The Enslaved Souls"
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
The Case of the Enslaved Souls
Prologue
Page 1
Eddie had defended his black belt in karate for the fifth and final time. Now he rode his Harley Davidson Motorcycle to the annual fair. He often liked to come to the fair to reconnect with the happier times of his youth, but sometimes he remembered the incident that snatched away his innocence.
Up until 1977, Eddie and his uncle Jessie used to come to the fair every year, but soon both their circumstances made it impossible for either of them to attend. Eddie couldn’t because of his competition schedule. Uncle Jessie couldn’t because he’d often be on a stakeout, or he’d be assigned to protecting a witness for the D.A.
As he pulled into the parking lot, he wore a Van Halen tee-shirt, blue jeans, chaps and leather biker boots with silver tips. Eddie parked his Harley after circling a couple of times. As he stepped off, he overheard a couple arguing.
“You know something bitch, you really love embarrassing me in front of my boys here, like this.”
Eddie tipped his mirrored sunglasses down to the edge of his nose. The young lady sat on a fence with long light-brown hair and killer blue eyes. She wore tight blue jean shorts. He guessed her measures were 36-24-36.
Eddie thought the guy who insulted her looked like an abusive obnoxious twit. He had long black hair, a scraggly beard and brown teeth. He sort of resembles a national spokesperson for psychos are us magazine.
“Carlos, let’s see, gee, I clean for you, cook for you, and even do your laundry for you, so I guess that entitles me to come here for a little fun, so deal with it!”
Eddie admired her for standing up for herself. He couldn’t imagine why anyone would mistreat such a stunning woman. Eddie turned around and removed his leather chaps.
Out of the corner of his right eye, he saw the crazy boy friend push her off the fence. They walked off laughing. *
Eddie couldn’t stand it anymore. He waited until her boyfriend and his friends were near the fair entrance.
Eddie raced over. “Are you alright?” He took her hand and pulled her up. Even though she was covered in thick mud, his eyes couldn’t escape the fact that this young lady was still quite beautiful.
“Thank you...yes I'm fine.”
* “Are you sure your not hurt anywhere, Miss?”
“Yes, I'm sure I think so at least. My names Lori-Ann and thank you for asking, but I'm pretty sure I'm not hurt anywhere; at least not physically.”
“Oh excuse me, Lori-Ann my name's Eddie by the way.”
“So much for me trying to enjoy myself here today.”
Page 2
Eddie turned at the sound of laughing. Her boyfriend and his buddies lingered by the entrance.
“Hold that thought before giving up on enjoying yourself here.”
As Lori was about to answer, Carlos and his friends jogged over.
Carlos stepped up to Eddie and folded his arms. “Stranger if I were you I'd forget about helping her unless you really want to get hurt yourself for butting into something that's clearly none of your business.” He poked Eddie in the chest with his finger.
Eddie took Lori’s hand and walked around them. Carlos charged forward and hit Eddie in the gut, knocking him down to his knees.
Carlos hovered over him. “Alright, you nosey bastard. No more hints. My boys and I are going to teach you a painful lesson, so you might want to take notes.”
Eddie remembered that uncle Jessie always used to tell him that people were entitled to their opinions. However, Eddie knew even his uncle would admit it was time to teach these guys some manners.
One of them grabbed Eddie from behind and pulled him up. They held him as another man hit him in the stomach repeatedly. “Ah, what's the matter hero? That hurt?”
Even though it did, Eddie would never acknowledge it to them.
“STOP IT CARLOS! STOP IT! YOUR GOING TO KILL HIM!”
“Shut up bitch! You know something? This is your fault.”
Carlos laughed as he watched Eddie fall, but just before he hit the ground, Eddie suddenly flipped back up into a standing position.
“Alright, now that you had your chance to beat on me a while, quite unsuccessfully I might add, let’s see how you bozo's can take it. C’mon, let's dance.” Eddie hit the one to his left, breaking his nose. He
hit the next one with a stiff arm, knocking him to the ground, out cold.
“One down three to go. Who’s next?”
The second man charged him, trying to knock him off his feet. Eddie flipped him up and over. The man fell hard crashing into the fence behind them.
“Uh oh, there goes number two down for the count.”
Eddie smiled as the third friend made a well timed exit, running for his life out of the fairground parking lot.
“Now that one was the smartest one. I guess it's just you and I, Carlos. Hope you brought your dancing shoes.”
Carlos turned and ran for it. Eddie waited until they were out of site.
“Thank God.” He dropped to one knee and held his left side.
“Eddie! Oh my God!” She ran up to Eddie, carefully placed her arm around him and tried to help him up. “You’re hurt I'm so sorry are you...”
Page 3
“Lori, thank you. I'll be alright as long as no one punches me.”
She wrapped her around him and helped him up.
Eddie caught her warm smile. “Tell you what, if you give a hand back over to my bike then give me a couple minutes, I'll let you follow me back to my nearby cabin so you can clean up. Then if you want to come back, I'll be more than happy to escort you around?”
Lori nodded playfully and assisted him back over to his Harley. “There you go. Are you sure you can ride?”
Eddie slowly nodded and straddled his bike. “Why don't you go back to your car now and follow me.”
She hurried off to her car. Eddie fired up his Harley and drove out, waiting for her to leave next. She pulled out in a classic dark green Dodge Charger with black stripes underneath both doors.
They arrived at the cabin a few miles from the fair. Unfortunately, the only place Lori could go clean up was at the nearby quarry. Eddie hoped she wouldn’t mind, considering that they just met.
They pulled into the dirt driveway. The cabin rested three feet off the ground on a foundation that existed before Eddie and his uncle Jessie built it.
Eddie remembered it start out just as a fun idea to build a cabin in the woods with his uncle. During vacations, they’d head out to work on it.
It had five steps leading up to a wrap around porch, which had another set in the back. In addition, it also had an easy access to the trail that lead straight to the quarry.
Lori waited outside for him as he went inside, grabbing a bar of soap, two towels and a bottle of shampoo. Inside was a small kitchen, a sitting area with a fireplace and a loft with three beds over looking the downstairs of the cabin.
Eddie returned quickly with the things and led the way to the quarry. Her stamina impressed him. She never complained about having to walk barefoot over the rough terrain.
“How’s your injury doing dose it still hurt?” she asked, walking side by side.
Eddie felt her warm hand placing itself into his.
“The pain is not so bad. I’ve felt worse, but thank you for asking.”
They smiled at each other just before breaking though the trees to see the sun’s rays hitting the shimmering water.
“Oh my it’s . . .it’s beautiful,” Lori said.
They stepped onto a rocky ledge. Eddie remembered the place to be a secretive hidden paradise where he had spent past summers either swimming or just coming to meditate.
“So, I guess you’d like to clean up here, huh?”
Lori turned with a twinkle in her eyes and nodded in immediate approval.
Eddie placed the things down for her and respectfully left her there alone to bath in privacy, although he did feel some temptation to watch he was not brought up that way. His uncle Jessie raised him to respect all people.
Page 4
Eddie went up high and out of sight. He removed his shirt and tucked it into one of his belt loops. He made himself comfortable, sitting upon a nearby rock with his legs crossed.
Eddie closed his eyes and began meditating and using his trained breathing techniques. Even though his outward appearance may have looked relaxed, he wanted to clam his inner spirit or chi.
Never having a girlfriend over the years bothered him. All the training and competitions left him with no time for a social life. This hurt him deeply. He considered that with his retirement from Karate there might be a chance.
Minutes later, he opened his eyes. Lori stood in front of Eddie, smiling down up him. She was poised like an angel with the sun behind her. He watched her towel drying her lengthy hair.
“Thanks for suggesting this place to me. It’s extremely beautiful here.”
“You’re welcome. I agree it’s exceptionally beautiful, although I have to be honest with you this is my first time back here with someone else.”
“Huh? I would have imagined you utilizing this place for bringing all your dates.”
“I guess I could’ve been using it for that, but my uncle wouldn’t have approved.”
“Wait a minute! Let me get this straight. You mean to tell me that I’m the first woman you ever brought here?”
Eddie sensed an awkward moment about to occur. “Yes, you are the first lady I’ve had here before, but don’t be frightened of me. I’m nothing like your boyfriend or his buddies.”
“I know Eddie, your certainly not like him at all. But Carlos is usually sweeter than that actually.
It's hanging around those other guys at the carnavil that changes him.” Seeing a lone tear trickling down her cheek Eddie gently wipes it away with his finger.
Smiling back at him Lori continues dressing.
“No disrespect intended when I say this Lori, but in my opion I certainly wouldn't go running back to him for a couple of days no telling what he'd do to you.”
Seen putting back on her still muddied tee shirt.
She smiles looking back to him then says “You know something, I'm actually quite flattered that you care that much to have said that to me.” Walking back over to him next Lori-Ann looks down upon him.
They stared at each other. Eddie glanced at her mouth. She leaned closer to him and their lips met for a brief moment. Lori leaned back and grinned. Eddie smiled slightly, feeling blessed having met Lori-Ann, let alone to have kissed her.
Page 5
Eddie gathered up the various items and proceeded to escort Lori-Ann back to the cabin.
She didn't actually verbally say to him that he was wrong about her boyfriend Carlos, but she thought to herself that maybe Eddie was right in what he had said earlier.
“You may have been right before?” Smiling looking over at him.
“Oh About?” With his eyes focused on the the trail ahead of him Eddie listened.
“About what I'd do if I left here; more than likely Carlos would find me then try and talk me into taking him back.”
“And?” Eddie continues listening to Lori-Ann trying to make some sense out of her boyfriend.
“And after that stunt he pulled at the fairgrounds with his buddies there watching.
You were right by the way too. I shouldn't go running back to him after that.” Watching him smiling Lori couldn't really help but smile herself as she continued watching him.
“What? Did I say something funny.” Stopping to watch him Eddie stopped just short of the cabin door to say back.
“No, you didn't say anything funny. I'm actually proud of the way you assessed the seriousness of how Carlos acts around his so called friends that's all.” Lifting his head up to look at her.
“Yeah, well I kind of warned him that if he did anything in front of his friends to me I was going to make him sweat. So with my mind already made up not to go running back to him. Now all I have to do is find a place to lay low until I'm ready to go back to him?” Nodding his head next Eddie turns to open the door of the cabin.
Once inside Lori-Ann mearly gazed in awe to the way she'd imagine it would look like..
“Wow! I'm impressed this is very, very nice.” Smiling back in her direction Eddie closes the door after her.
“Thank you, I really wasn't sure if you'd like it. It's honestly just a place to come to you know, get away from the everyday craziness.”
“Well, you and your uncle did an marvelous job with it I'm extreamly impressed.” Sharing another smile between them Eddie invites her to stay and have dinner with him.
Natuarally with no where to really go Lori-Ann excepts her host gracious invitation and stays.
While Eddie grills up two steaks a couple of baked and tosses a salad Lori-Ann tells him about herself with tales of growing up an only child.
After which Eddie discribes his life also in as much detail as he could. Telling Lori-Ann about his twin brother Elvis. And even enlightning her about his still deleveloping special gift of soarts.
Much to Lori-Ann's amazement she mearly smiles back at him.
