The Original Hollywood Squares TV Show.
These great questions and answers are from the days when
game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not
scripted and dull as they are now. (Peter Marshall was the
host asking the questions, of course.)
Q: Do female frogs croak?
A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long
enough.
Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at
least how high?
A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q: True or false - a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably
a
man or a woman?
A: Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and
you
think he's really attractive, is it all right to come out
directly and
ask him if he's married?
A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get
older?
A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I
love you"?
A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a
twenty.
Q: What are "Do It", "I Can Help" and "Can't Get it."?
A: George Gobel: I don't know but it's come from the next
apartment.
Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with
your hands while you are talking?
A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing older question,
Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget!
Q: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you
going
to get any during your first year?
A: Charley Weaver: Of course not; I'm too busy growing
strawberries!
Q: In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at
nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?
A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q: During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the
closet?
A: Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter, I'm always safe in the
bedroom.
Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail.
What will a goose do?
A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give
birth to?
A: Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the
dark.
Q: According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with
getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!
Q: While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting
"Poo! Poo! Poo!" What does that mean?
A: George Goebel: Cattle crossing.
Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body -
what is it?
A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't
neglected!
Q: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 150
pounds?
A: Charley Weaver: A divorcée.
Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on
his head, what was he trying to do?
A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife
or your elephant?
A: Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to
him.
Q: James Stewart did it over 20 years ago, when he was 41
years old.
Now he says it was "one of the best things I ever did." What
was it?
A: Marty Allen: Rhonda Fleming.
Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes
in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions.
What are they?
A: Charley Weaver: His feet.
These great questions and answers are from the days when
game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not
scripted and dull as they are now. (Peter Marshall was the
host asking the questions, of course.)
Q: Do female frogs croak?
A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long
enough.
Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at
least how high?
A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q: True or false - a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably
a
man or a woman?
A: Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and
you
think he's really attractive, is it all right to come out
directly and
ask him if he's married?
A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get
older?
A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I
love you"?
A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a
twenty.
Q: What are "Do It", "I Can Help" and "Can't Get it."?
A: George Gobel: I don't know but it's come from the next
apartment.
Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with
your hands while you are talking?
A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing older question,
Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget!
Q: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you
going
to get any during your first year?
A: Charley Weaver: Of course not; I'm too busy growing
strawberries!
Q: In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at
nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?
A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q: During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the
closet?
A: Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter, I'm always safe in the
bedroom.
Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail.
What will a goose do?
A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give
birth to?
A: Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the
dark.
Q: According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with
getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!
Q: While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting
"Poo! Poo! Poo!" What does that mean?
A: George Goebel: Cattle crossing.
Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body -
what is it?
A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't
neglected!
Q: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 150
pounds?
A: Charley Weaver: A divorcée.
Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on
his head, what was he trying to do?
A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife
or your elephant?
A: Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to
him.
Q: James Stewart did it over 20 years ago, when he was 41
years old.
Now he says it was "one of the best things I ever did." What
was it?
A: Marty Allen: Rhonda Fleming.
Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes
in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions.
What are they?
A: Charley Weaver: His feet.
