....Lonely.

[Charlieoneseven]

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[BrightEyes1082]

I wish you could have come out to spend time with like minds in Mt. Pleasant this afternoon. I hope we get to
meet you at the next munch. : )

 

[Charlieoneseven]

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[BrightEyes1082]

This was our 3rd tickling munch in Charleston. We started out with 4, and yesterday we had 7.

 

[Charlieoneseven]

Deleted.

 

[BrightEyes1082]

The next one will probably be late June or early July. Hope you can make it! :3

 

[Nedstacey2]

Charlieoneseven, I so hear you. I've been there, and back, but I still go there.

Life is a study in unremitting emotional pain, would that it were not so, but it is. I wish I had answers, for you, for me, but I know none. Apparently you have found some truth and plod on, so bully for you. For my part it's still, what the hell is so horrible about me that I'm utterly abandoned once so many get a taste? What atrocities do I commit that merit the eventual silence?

I put myself out, not an easy thing for me by any means, and try to be a caring, decent human being, but others connect and I cannot and miss out.

You have stepped away from the ocean, good, but I'm not seeing a better alternative.

 

[Charlieoneseven]

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[WorkInProgress]

One thing I can say about the breakup of a marriage: It's very painful, and the pain lasts a while, but it doesn't last forever. Good luck, my brother.

 

[Charlieoneseven]

Deleted.

 

[Nedstacey2]

My wife is leaving me, my kids are becoming ever so distant, and my work only cares because they have to by regulation, no matter how much I sincerely show I need help, a true friend, a pat on the back or just someone who will listen objectively. Its hard to balance when you world underneath you is falling apart.

I'm very sorry to hear that. I lost my own dear wife of twenty years to brain cancer not long ago. I know it's not the same as how your relationship is ending, but I can understand your pain. And about your children also; mine have naturally drawn closer to me since the death of my wife, their mother, but I often look on myself as utterly inadequate to the task of finishing their raising, a job their dear mother was mostly responsible for and who had put them on such a strong path.

A better alternative is in the eye of the beholder. The ending of my post states what I have found to help.

I feel it completely my fault, but can not figure it out why I am left out of so many people's lives that I feel I contribute 110% to.

Thank you. I see that you mentioned therapy in your post before that, and I applaud you for going and am glad it's another thing that worked for you. My kids are in grief counseling and I tried it myself, but I just think I'm in too deep and nothing or no one will ever really be able to extricate me from it. Everyone says the pain should ease over time, but I haven't found that to be true yet. I suppose if I had a wider circle of friends and felt more respected and valued generally--something I sense you can relate to also--the healing might be easier and more effective, but that's just not going on for me.

Looking to be free and open to find my ticklemate on day

Best of luck to you with that. I can testify that I've gotten to know some fine people here and at related sites, a few of which I've even been fortunate enough to meet offline. That is the key, having friends and supportive people around you who will help you stay afloat in the treacherous waters of this life, which, as so well stated in an episode of the old M*A*S*H TV show, I still view largely as "a sewer sandwich."