My Sister....now my angel

[kis123]

Good morning and peace to all of you:

I haven't been around much lately due to multiple issues including legal matters and a car accident (on the day my husband died, nonetheless). But today is especially daunting for me and my family and I'm asking for all the prayers, thoughts, and positive wishes I can get. I wasn't going to trouble you guys with this, but my heart is full and sad and I just really don't know what to do.

My oldest sister is no longer with us here on the earth. She passed away at home with her beloved pets by her side on July 23, 2014. Today begins the end of her mortal journey here on Earth with her viewing and wake today and her funeral and interment tomorrow.

I know I probably should've come to you guys sooner, but this has been so devastating to us that I simply could not do it prior to today.

Out of EVERYONE I know, she is the one person that I can say has NEVER harmed another living soul....not intentionally or by accident. In today's society that is becoming increasingly difficult to find, but I've had the honor and privelege to say that I knew of one and she happened to be related to me.

She was a nurse for almost three decades providing comfort and healing throughout her career. When she retired from nursing, she joined Medical Records as a Quality Control Specialist. She retired from her career December 31, 2013; she really did not get the opportunity to enjoy the fruits of her labor, but she lived quietly with her loving pets (cat and dog) until her passing July 23.

One final thing; stay in touch with your family and loved ones. Do not allow the issues of life to get in the way of your relationships. Don't ever put yourselves thorough the agony of one day getting that phone call (in my case, I came to visit with her and was the one who "found" her after she died) and someone telling you that someone you loved but lost touch and connection with is gone. It is the absolute worst feeling in the world and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy (provided I had one).

It has been my honor and privilege to introduce to all of you a brief snapshot of my sister Charylene....may she rest in peace in this life and become a dynamic force in the Universe in her next.

May 1, 1947-July 23, 2014

 

[Bohemianne]

My utmost condolences to you, Kis... And thank you for sharing your thoughts with regard to familial relationships.

 

[kis123]

My utmost condolences to you, Kis... And thank you for sharing your thoughts with regard to familial relationships.

Thank you for your kind words

I can't say it enough: stay in touch with those you love because we ALL are going to leave this Earth someday....no way around it. So make it count and give your loved ones their flowers while they can still see and smell their beauty.

 

[C.A.B.]

I grieve with you. Blessed be.

 

[milagros317]

I am very sorry to hear of your loss, Kis. May your sister Charylene rest in peace in a better place.

 

[desdemona]

My heartfelt condolences kis. Your poignant reminder should be a testimonial to us all - carpe diem and love every minute you have on this rock. Thank you for sharing your news with us - always remember joy shared is joy doubled, grief shared is grief halved. May your sister find eternal rest and bless you and your family as you recover from your loss.

 

[General Zod]

My condolences on your loss.

 

[maniactickler]

My deepest sympathies kis. stay strong.

 

[unclebill]

My condolences on your loss, kis.

 

[paracarl44]

My sympathy goes out to you.

 

[Nedstacey2]

kis123, my condolences in shared grief. I don't know you and I hadn't been around here much myself in recent years, but I'm assuming you'd posted in the past about the tragic loss of your husband. My own dear wife passed away only a matter of months ago, and from your description of Charylene she sounds a lot like my "Stacey"; someone who did nothing but spread joy, caring, love and compassion throughout this world in the years she was allotted to grace it, which were even fewer than your sister's.

You describe Charylene as an angel, and that's a fitting term for what my Stacey was and is as well. May you soon find some peace and healing, though I well know the road will be long and difficult.

 

[kis123]

Good morning and peace to all:

Thank you all for visiting my thread and giving your prayers, thoughts, well wishes and condolences.

@Mitchell:

I will eventually respond to your PM, but right now I have to prioritize my time and emotions. If no one else understands my position, I think you do. Thank you for your first response and support.

Today is the big day: her funeral is at 1:30 with internment afterwards. One thing that I know for certain is that I don't want to revisit this shit again...ever in life!! I will NOT put my children through this nightmare so I am going to work on a will and my burial will be prepaid. My sister had assets, but did not manage to select a beneficiary; that decision has created some major BS and drama, but the idea of my uncle becoming the administrator solves may problems, but I have to convince the other sisters that this is a good thing.

It all goes back to communication being paramount.

I hope people don't see this as a means to air out my family's dirty laundry. It's a way to share experiences in order to keep others to endure what I'm presently going through.

Peace to all.....

 

[Mitchell]

kis, of course I understand that you wouidn't reply right now. My message was just meant for support. Please just reply when you can. I know you have many more important things to think about right now.

Sorry to hear about the other difficulties you're having.

Take care of yourself,
Mitch

 

[gentlefeather007]

Good morning and peace to all:

Thank you all for visiting my thread and giving your prayers, thoughts, well wishes and condolences.

@Mitchell:

I will eventually respond to your PM, but right now I have to prioritize my time and emotions. If no one else understands my position, I think you do. Thank you for your first response and support.

Today is the big day: her funeral is at 1:30 with internment afterwards. One thing that I know for certain is that I don't want to revisit this shit again...ever in life!! I will NOT put my children through this nightmare so I am going to work on a will and my burial will be prepaid. My sister had assets, but did not manage to select a beneficiary; that decision has created some major BS and drama, but the idea of my uncle becoming the administrator solves may problems, but I have to convince the other sisters that this is a good thing.

It all goes back to communication being paramount.

I hope people don't see this as a means to air out my family's dirty laundry. It's a way to share experiences in order to keep others to endure what I'm presently going through.

Peace to all.....

I agree and thank you for posting this, your last wishes should not be a secret and preparations for the future are necessary!!
May God bless you and your family in your time of need!!!
take care

Paul

 

[canadintickler]

my condolences to you and your family my friend. your in my thoughts and prayers. It sounds like you two were very close and enjoyed your time spent together in life. Remember all of the good times you shared and spent with each other and keep close to your heart. if you need a friend to talk to or whatsoever message me anytime.

 

[kis123]

Well..

I feel like I've lived another lifetime over the last eight days.

The service turned out well and I think she would've been proud; quiet, peaceful, and classy just like her. This is just so hard to deal with; I mean, I know EVERYONE has to die at some point and people die every day. But it's hard as hell when your loved one leaves like that without any warning. It's one thing if they have/had a long term illness; the person dies, but at least you have some time to spend and do things with them before they go. It's a completely different matter when they just go suddenly...it absolutely sucks!! It devastates those left behind.

I'm just rambling.....I'm sorry

Well, I thank all of you for stopping in my thread and offering your condolences and well wishes. At some point I'll figure out how to move on with my life without her; I just don't know how I'm going to do it.

Peace to you all and thank you.....

 

[Nedstacey2]

One thing that I know for certain is that I don't want to revisit this shit again...ever in life!! I will NOT put my children through this nightmare so I am going to work on a will and my burial will be prepaid . . . . It all goes back to communication being paramount.

. . . your last wishes should not be a secret and preparations for the future are necessary!!

Can't second this enough from painful experience. One of the first things I did shortly after my wife's passing was update my will for our kids and make sure I had set out plainly my instructions should I die while they're still minors and leave them orphaned.

And unbeknownst to me, my wife had apparently signed up through the DMV to donate the full range of her organs, and in our state the law is such that her body couldn't even be released from the hospital to a funeral home until the organ donation registry had talked to me to review her recent health history and gotten my consent on miscellaneous matters. As a result, I unexpectedly had to spend a couple of hours on the phone on the very afternoon following her death listening as the very professional registry representative dryly described in what seemed to me in my condition horrific and ghoulish detail how they were going to carve up my wife's body before her cremation. It was definitely something I was not prepared for and disturbs me still, and I share this in the hope that it might serve as a wake-up call to any couple to be sure you're on the same page, as kis123 and whorf007 have emphasized.

 

[Bugman]

I'm so very sorry to hear of your dear sisters passing. The death of a sibling leaves a hole in our hearts that can never be filled. Treasure your memories of her though, and she will be with you always.

 

[kurchatovium]

Very sorry to hear this. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

Kis, I'm so sorry to hear about your sister's passing. God bless you in your grief and in your fond remembrances of her in the coming days.

 

[kis123]

Thank all of you for your kind words.

I'm trying my best to get back to some semblance of normalcy and....I'm not doing so well with it.

Nedstacy2, I've read all of your posts and my heart goes out to you because I know what it feels like to lose your spouse. He and I were separated when he died, but we had become pretty good friends (much better friends than spouses, actually). It's just hard to read your experiences right now....

Thanks everyone for everything; and may peace and blessings be in all of your lives.

Peace

 

[Nedstacey2]

I'm trying my best to get back to some semblance of normalcy and....I'm not doing so well with it.

I understand what you're going through, and my God but I hope that in days, weeks and months to come things do not sink as low for you as they have for me. After the trauma and drama of the loss and attending circumstances life does go on, but it's just not the same. It's in the mundane details of day-to-day living that one discovers how much a loved one is missed, almost cruelly like the ceaseless dripping of a faucet, every new day seeming to bring a new reminder of what has changed and what will no longer be again.

It's damned tough, and again my thoughts and best wishes to you to get through this and overcome. It sounds as though you have something of a good support system among your children, sisters and family, even if there's already been conflict and that certainly doesn't help. May all of your friends come to you at this dreadful time also and provide some comfort.

Nedstacy2, I've read all of your posts and my heart goes out to you because I know what it feels like to lose your spouse. He and I were separated when he died, but we had become pretty good friends (much better friends than spouses, actually). It's just hard to read your experiences right now....

I share your sorrow about this too. Happy to hear that you still maintained a special relationship with him until the end. My wife was by far the best friend I ever had, just what this extremely isolated, awkward and socially-adverse loner needed. She taught me all about life and opened my eyes to what it meant to be human and live in this world. She was so good for me in so many ways that the idea that I could be incredibly fortunate enough to have her grace my life and then after only a few decades when we were both relatively young she would be taken from me is just devastating. This sense of being cursed is magnified by the notion that I didn't always fully appreciate her in life and indeed was downright mean to her sometimes. The anguish of loss and regret is killing me, and is perhaps my fitting punishment.

 

[Angel_2]

So sorry to hear about your loss Kis, you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[WorkInProgress]

So sorry to hear of your loss, Kis. My thoughts are with you.