So I'm fighting with my fiance over something stupid....

[Aachen1983]

She wnats to have our future son or sons circumcised, and I don't. She says it's in the bible, it needs to be done. I say fuck that stuffy old book, it's barbaric and causes the child TREMENDOUS pain. She doesn't care, and even went so far as to say she would have it done behind my back. This is the last straw. I am more than likely calling off this bogus fucking wedding. I happen to love my children, that aren't even born yet, more than some shitty book and more than likely fake God.

 

[WorkInProgress]

(This is an edited version; my initial response was a bit too opinionated.)

It sounds to me as if you have some serious thinking to do about the decision. If she thinks the Bible is the supreme law and you think it's stuffy old book, you have a major difference. Now, when it comes to circumcision, I don't think it does any harm and I appreciate not having a foreskin collecting dirt and taking up space in my pants, but if you feel strongly about it, then being with a woman who is strident on the other extreme is a problem, especially if she's threatening already to take matters into her own hands. You have some thinking and some talking to do, to make sure this marriage is the right thing to do. Good luck. I hope things go in a good direction, whatever that direction is.

 

[isabeau]

She wnats to have our future son or sons circumcised, and I don't. She says it's in the bible, it needs to be done. I say fuck that stuffy old book, it's barbaric and causes the child TREMENDOUS pain. She doesn't care, and even went so far as to say she would have it done behind my back. This is the last straw. I am more than likely calling off this bogus fucking wedding. I happen to love my children, that aren't even born yet, more than some shitty book and more than likely fake God.

hon, it is done when they are first born, and i don't think it hurts that much.. please don't let this come between you and your fiance... who you have said understands you and your illness...

 

[Aachen1983]

hon, it is done when they are first born, and i don't think it hurts that much.. please don't let this come between you and your fiance... who you have said understands you and your illness...

She needs to understand my point. Fuck her point! I'm tired of her point, and her feelings. What about mine Goddamnit?

 

[isabeau]

She needs to understand my point. Fuck her point! I'm tired of her point, and her feelings. What about mine Goddamnit?

well look at it this way... you are putting the cart before the horse.. you might not have children.. you do know that we planned on children, but things don't always work out like you wish... of course your feelings should be considered.. you need to discuss this with an unbiased person..

 

[scissorman]

she said she would do it behind your back? fuck her. get your ass outta there man. i think she showed her true colors with that remark. she has probably already devised a plan to get married, have the kids, and then divorce you and fuck you over for the rest of your life.


If she believes in the bible (which is a piece of shit) so much, remind her that it was EVE who ate the forbidden fruit 1st, and was easily fooled by the serpent. Then she seduced adam. They are manipulative creatures by nature my friend. (according to the bible)


And for the record, I have my foreskin and I can proudly say it GREATLY enhances sex.


Moral of the story: Never get involved with Bible Thumpers.

 

[venray]

Dude....until you get your own problems straightened out, you should not be getting married or trying to raise kids anyway....

 

[isabeau]

Dude....until you get your own problems straightened out, you should not be getting married or trying to raise kids anyway....

ahh ray... you do know about his illness right?

 

[venray]

That is exactly what I am referring to....coming on here and cursing out his girl isnt going to make him any better...

Being PC and humoring him isnt either.......

Dude....get some help....

 

[isabeau]

That is exactly what I am referring to....coming on here and cursing out his girl isnt going to make him any better...

Being PC and humoring him isnt either.......

Dude....get some help....

i have been trying to get him to get help also.... he did i think...

 

[TicklishGrl4Lfe]

Aachen, they can use a local anthesetic on the baby to make it less painful, without it would hurt severely as all men know their penis is very sensitive to pain, especially suring circumcision.

 

[Stugots]

How funny is it that a member that has the name of scissorman posted in a thread on circumcision! This thread is stupid!

 

[Aachen1983]

We have stopped fighting. I realized it was stupid to argue over something like that. I have just been very angry lately.

 

[Goodieluver]

I may be drunk and just ignorant

but

A circumcision is in the hebrew bible as the covenant between God and man
I am roman catholic, not a hebrew, i am circumcized
Some believe circumcision is healthier and just one of those choices
I am not suffering any psycholigical pain from the absence of my foreskin, infact i rather enjoy it
So other than religious, what are the benefits\consequences of a circumcision?

 

[aun_existe_amor]

She wnats to have our future son or sons circumcised, and I don't. She says it's in the bible, it needs to be done. I say fuck that stuffy old book, it's barbaric and causes the child TREMENDOUS pain. She doesn't care, and even went so far as to say she would have it done behind my back. This is the last straw. I am more than likely calling off this bogus fucking wedding. I happen to love my children, that aren't even born yet, more than some shitty book and more than likely fake God.

You need to talk about things like this before you get married otherwise you might realise in a few years time that you have not as much in common with your wife as you thought. Get to know as much as you can about how she imagines your future together and what she wants from life. Hopefully you will find that you both want the same things but if you find out different then at least it's not too late. Good luck

 

[WorkInProgress]

I don't think anybody here is really in a position to say "here is the definitive answer to what you must do." I'd also like to note in passing that I find the term "PC" to be used fairly frequently to dismiss any opinion that differs from that of the person using it. (Be assured, I totally comprehend what people consider to be the term's real meaning, and I have a well-developed critique of the term that goes far beyond what I've said about it here.) I think the best suggestions that can be given to Aachen are those which still leave the decision-making to him.

That said, my personal bias about relationships is that both parties should always be willing to talk everything out mutually. There should never be "This is the way it is"; rather, it should always be "This is the way I see it, but I want to hear how you feel, and I want to search with you for something we can both be happy with." But, now comes the kicker: it takes both parties to make that latter thing work. When you have one who relates one way and one who relates the other way, what you get is subordination rather than mutuality.

On the subject of circumcision, therefore, in my opinion, both parties should be able to have a conversation with each other in which each is able to agree, "I don't know what the outcome is going to be; we're both going to listen to each other and we're going to try to find something we can both agree on, and we're going to keep the dialogue open till we do." If either party is totally determined to prevail, then it's a fight rather than a discussion. This is my opinion about relationships in general. This is what I need when I'm in one.

In this thread, there's one person who is rooting for this marriage partly because the woman understands your special situation, and another who thinks you're not ready to get married because of those special situation. In my opinion, the one doesn't need to affect the other at all. No matter what you're struggling with (and I read the whole thing about the birds), to me, the principle is this: Being with the right person is better than being alone, but being alone is better than being with the wrong person. And only you, mi amigo, can decide if she's the right person for you, just as she must decide if you're the right person for her. Good luck.

 

[chicago]

As anti-Christian as I am, calling The Bible a 'stuffy old book' or 'a piece of shit' is a little harsh.

Besides, how do you get into a relationship with someone that is so pro-Bible and pro-God and not know? Or how do you get into a relationship if you do know and not think it might be a problem.

She probably not only wants to circumsize your kids but baptise them too.

And after that they might go to Sunday School and make their First Communion and Confirmation and all that jazz.

Circumsicion is just the tip of the ice berg, matey.

 

[Aachen1983]

I don't know. I realized I she has bent a lot for me, and gone against some of her beliefs for me, so I need to compromise as well. It was a useless fight and I shouldn't have posted it on here. I don't know what I was thinking last night, or why I have been so anal lately. She feels a lot stronger doing it, than I am not doing it.

 

[SmileyTkls]

I'm glad you and the fiance have settled on things for now, but as this is a thread that invited comment, here I go. I try to respect other peoples' opinions and beliefs, so whichever side of a religious fence you abide on is your business. But this issue of circumcision is just one small, tiny piece of a much larger and complex relationship you're trying to build, and if it caused this much heartache, then I'd examine the rest of it verrrry carefully. And yes, it can be frustrating when someone doesn't see things your way, or in your opinion even try to do it, but to attack not only the person you profess to love but a lot of good and earnest people just seems to be tarring folks with a very wide brush. Feel free to believe what you will, and even express your thoughts, but also realize there are other sides and possible repercussions for doing so, as well as for the manner in which it is done.

 

[Aachen1983]

I'm glad you and the fiance have settled on things for now, but as this is a thread that invited comment, here I go. I try to respect other peoples' opinions and beliefs, so whichever side of a religious fence you abide on is your business. But this issue of circumcision is just one small, tiny piece of a much larger and complex relationship you're trying to build, and if it caused this much heartache, then I'd examine the rest of it verrrry carefully. And yes, it can be frustrating when someone doesn't see things your way, or in your opinion even try to do it, but to attack not only the person you profess to love but a lot of good and earnest people just seems to be tarring folks with a very wide brush. Feel free to believe what you will, and even express your thoughts, but also realize there are other sides and possible repercussions for doing so, as well as for the manner in which it is done.

Yeah, trust me I know. I need to learn compromise, she already has. We both agreed we said some things we wish we hadn't in the heat of the moment. Like me in not so many words telling her she is merely an oven to bake my kids in, and her telling me she would go behind my back. Real adult shit, huh? But no, we made up, realized it was for a gay reason, and will be seeing each other tonight.

 

[steph]

If I can get a little maternal on ya hon, someone gave me some valuable advice years ago that I never forgot: NEVER make a major decision (marriage, walking out on relationship, quitting a job, etc.) when your angry. I promise you'll see things in a different light once all the screaming stops. Maybe take a little break or possibly hold off on wedding date?

XOXO

 

[WorkInProgress]

I continue to say, you should make sure you're able to talk things through, which is very different from one of you admitting you're wrong and making a concession. If I ever have another major relationship, I'm going to solicit her agreement that the moment a potential disagreement arises, it's automatic that we go to the couch, sit holding hands, take turns listening to each other, and be pledged to search for something we can both be happy with.

 

[isabeau]

I continue to say, you should make sure you're able to talk things through, which is very different from one of you admitting you're wrong and making a concession. If I ever have another major relationship, I'm going to solicit her agreement that the moment a potential disagreement arises, it's automatic that we go to the couch, sit holding hands, take turns listening to each other, and be pledged to search for something we can both be happy with.

that makes perfect sense to me, also. and David, i broke off my engagement three times, i don't remember now why, but in the end he always came back. i couldn't seem to get rid of him lol..

 

[Aachen1983]

Thanks for the advice guys. I just wish I hadn't posted it on here. I was just very angry and none of my friends were home. I just realized that circumcision is a part of her faith, and God means everything to her, and God got her out of some really rough spots. We both apologized for the things that we said, cried, and made up.