Blog entries by cloudgazer2k

Ol' CrystalLight pointed out to me that I hadn't been on the forums much. For the most part, my visits are always in "stealth mode", and I just haven't felt a need to post. I do miss hanging out here, yet it hasn't been the same for me. So much has changed. Even the familiar layout I was...

On March 10th, it will mark one year since I lost, and continued to lose, the love of my life. Almost a year has gone by. This past year, there were a lot of ups and downs. I realized what it meant to feel things, like fear and sadness. I saw that intense stress causes my skin to do...

"...since I could hold my head up high..." Blogging, keeping a personal spiritual journal, writing in general; each of these have helped me clear some of the clutter in my mind and help me focus on some of the things I tend to let slip pass. On the crazy front: I went through anger...

Sing "In the End" by Linkin Park. It fits. I had been stumbling blindly from March until a few weeks ago. Things have been clicking in my head that have helped me make sense of all that I've had to deal with. For one, I made a confession to my ex that shocked us both. She told me she...

So, let's recap: I'm an asshole. That about sums it up. After a conflict a few weeks ago, I had to find another place to live. I'll be staying with some friends temporarily while I gather up myself and go into this wild world on my own. I've also been studying some of the intricate...

How can you sit there and tell me that you still want to be my friend and for me to get better when you aren't willing to compromise? I'm not just doing this for me! You need help, too. I'm trying to go the distance to make our friendship better, but all you can do is throw my efforts back at...

She's been gone since Friday to visit her dad's side of the family in Oklahoma for the holiday. I used to look forward to her return. The hugs, kisses, the "I missed you!", the chatter about all that went on that we didn't talk about on the phone. Now there's a lot of intense feelings in...

Hillari's dad died after a long, hard fought battle against cancer Friday afternoon. The battle began almost 3 years ago when a doctor misdiagnosed a large growth inside his left leg. Since then, it's been a standoff between his will and his body. He will be laid to rest in the next day...

Yeah, not gonna happen any time soon. Why? Because she dropped me after 7+ years of our relationship. Knowing there is just no way I can salvage it, I decided it best that we not even associate anymore. I might as well face the facts: I'm destined to be alone. And, no, posting her pics...

It's been a few weeks since coming back to the 'net, and I've kinda mulled around the idea of writing a little blog to give detail to what has happened in the recent months. Following a rather rude disembarking from my father-in-law's (without a thank you for all the help we gave, mind you)...

Figured I'd do this instead of posting in General Discussion and get flamed. I'm going home and moving to Kennedale tomorrow afternoon. After tonight, I'll no longer have an internet connection. I don't know how soon I will be back on, but I will most certainly try to be up and around as...