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When your tickling fetish potentially becomes problematic

T

Tifaranger

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*Disclaimer: I was hesitant about making this thread, because of the personal nature of it. Plus it is my first thread, but I wanted to see if I was alone in this issue*

If there are two things in life I have had trouble coping with, it is sex and my tickling fetish. I have never been a very sexual person in the traditional sense, but find that since puberty my tickling fetish is the only thing that can really get me "aroused". That really was not a problem for a while because in the majority of romantic relationships I have had I avoided any real sexual contact. That has changed recently. I have been seeing this woman for about 5 months now. We are not officially dating but we are in a limbo phase for different circumstances. This woman is different from any of my last relationships because she is hypersexual, and I was a virgin when we met. She was very accommodating and was patient with me, but at the same time she was puzzled why I was not getting turned on by anything she tried. I do not know how I would feel telling her about my tickle fetish. It is something that I am not open with anyone about. At the same time, something tells me that she would be accepting of it.

Regardless, I wanted to pose this question to everyone. Has anyone ever got to the point with their tickling fetish where it completely dominated their sexual urges?

I hope this thread doesn't seem too weird. If it does weird anyone out, I apologize xD
 
Not weird Mike, I was there too and my tickle fetish probably dominates my sexual urges still. I think she needs to know what turns
you on as she's questioning herself at some capacity with anything she's tried with you. I've met some ex-girlfriends that once I got
around to telling them, they loved knowing what turned me on. I wasn't open at all with my tickle fetish and at some point, I had to be with
women I wanted relationships with. Good luck with this one. 🙂

DK
 
Rest assured there are those who share your connection between intimacy, arousal and tickling. That is not my personal situation but I understand your feelings. Others more directly in sync with your feelings may have more appropriate advice.
It is probably good that you have developed a relationship with this woman that is based on things other than tickling. means you have other common interests and feelings for one another.
After 5 months you may know how best to talk with her. You don't mention what preferences you have with your tickling or if she is at all ticklish or has ever tickled you. It sounds from your description that she is a person comfortable with physical intimacy and that your relationship has had intimacy. So it is entirely appropriate to test the tickle waters so to speak both physically and intellectually. Given your clear reticence on the subject, I would not advise jumping into the deep end of the pool but taking it a step at a time. Physically touching her in places you like to tickle with light touches and measure her reactions. Have you ever asked her if or where she is ticklish? No need to start heavy with "I have something to tell you.." or, "I have this fetish..." Just something light like, "Oh, are you ticklish there?"
Good luck
 
Thanks for the responses guys, and to provide some general responses

DK: Down the line I feel like I could tell her. The problem is that I am still becoming comfortable with myself in those kind of intimate situations, because she was the first woman I was intimate with. I do realize that I will have to tell her to make this relationship work. I do not want her to think there is anything wrong with her of course.

Mane'o: She is very playful, very ticklish, and likes using tickling playfully. We do often tickle wrestle, which has helped in the past. From my end, I feel like I am giving off a false sense of arousal. Sometimes, we will be playing around, then one of us starts tickling the other, then we get intimate, and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I feel like she thinks that she is getting somewhere but is unsure how she got there. Does that make sense?

Again, thanks for the positive responses. I really appreciate it!
 
I know that feel. I've been lucky enough that my past relationships have welcomed it. In my experience, as long as you have a repoire with her, it's not likely to drive her away.
 
An interesting point here. I have never had intercourse, I prefer to save that for a girlfriend. However, often in many of my sessions such as sessions in a brothel where there is cuddling/kissing/oral (and tickling of course!) and tickle sessions, I have hand relief. When the hand relief comes, I usually ask for the girl to tickle me as well, as that makes it more exciting, and of course, makes ejaculation either. I think that could mean that without tickling, I would not be able to ejaculate? It isn't just on the genitals either, I ask them to tickle my underarms, ribs etc. All over my upper body. It gets very exciting when they attack my upper body.
 
You have to be honest with her there is no other way. If she is that "hypersexual" as you say, there probably isn't much that she hasn't heard of yet. Tell her. It's way better than making her think she isn't able to turn you on.

If you are running in these kind of problems in the future and are suffering from them, you might want to think about seeing a therapist.
 
I agree 100% with rhiannon. Her adventurous sexual nature will most likely mean she is willing to try anything with you regardless. You probably won't even have to tell her outright, if you just start letting yourself go a little bit more during your intimate encounters and slipping in sensual tickles she'll quite possibly just pick up on the fact that you enjoy it and either reciprocate or ask you if that turns you on. The ball will be rolling so to speak, so just take it from there and be honest 🙂
 
rhiannon said:
You have to be honest with her there is no other way. If she is that "hypersexual" as you say, there probably isn't much that she hasn't heard of yet. Tell her. It's way better than making her think she isn't able to turn you on.

If you are running in these kind of problems in the future and are suffering from them, you might want to think about seeing a therapist.
Click to expand...

Don't write me off just yet 🙂. I do plan on telling her, and definitely moreso after some of the posts I have seen in response to this thread. She has said that nothing I could tell her would surprise her, but at the same time, I have always considered tickling a more esoteric fetish. I appreciate the response!
 
deadlywiffeathr said:
I agree 100% with rhiannon. Her adventurous sexual nature will most likely mean she is willing to try anything with you regardless. You probably won't even have to tell her outright, if you just start letting yourself go a little bit more during your intimate encounters and slipping in sensual tickles she'll quite possibly just pick up on the fact that you enjoy it and either reciprocate or ask you if that turns you on. The ball will be rolling so to speak, so just take it from there and be honest 🙂
Click to expand...

That's a good idea. She is very keen on body language as well as picking up signals during intercourse so if I opened up more she would probably just pick up on it. Thank you for the advice!
 
M.I.K.E. said:
That's a good idea. She is very keen on body language as well as picking up signals during intercourse so if I opened up more she would probably just pick up on it. Thank you for the advice!
Click to expand...

Just be careful of assuming she will interpret the cues the same way you do. Many a relationship has crashed based on one party assuming the other party is interpreting things in sync. And this is not limited to tickling.
At some point you will need to be explicit about your turn-ons.
 
rhiannon said:
What in the world is an esoteric fetish? 🙂
Click to expand...
I believe what is meant here is that "Tickling" as a sexual fetish, is understood by a smaller demographic than say, mainstream BDSM or garden variety 'foot fetishism' or 'tit fetishism', and to an even lesser extent, mainstream vanilla sexuality. I prefer to think of TK as a 'boutique fetish'... gives it a kinda je ne sais quoi.
 
C.A.B. said:
I believe what is meant here is that "Tickling" as a sexual fetish, is understood by a smaller demographic than say, mainstream BDSM or garden variety 'foot fetishism' or 'tit fetishism', and to an even lesser extent, mainstream vanilla sexuality. I prefer to think of TK as a 'boutique fetish'... gives it a kinda je ne sais quoi.
Click to expand...

That is exactly what I mean. I realized this moreso when I began to get to know this woman I am with more sexually. She is actually very much into the BDSM culture but I can't remember a time where she may have hinted at anything involving tickling.
 
C.A.B. said:
I believe what is meant here is that "Tickling" as a sexual fetish, is understood by a smaller demographic than say, mainstream BDSM or garden variety 'foot fetishism' or 'tit fetishism', and to an even lesser extent, mainstream vanilla sexuality. I prefer to think of TK as a 'boutique fetish'... gives it a kinda je ne sais quoi.
Click to expand...

Which explains why it is SO extremely difficult to meet someone who kinda actually "gets it", much less be into it. When you're dealing with someone you've recently met, been with a while, and you're trying to introduce tickling- either bit by bit or full-on, your chances are 50-50 of her/him having a positive reaction. They could go along with it for a while with you and one day up and decide they don't like it anymore. It's all about happiness, Mike, and what you want from your life. If it's necessary for you to tickle or be tickled or both, for sexual reasons, attitude adjustment, chemical balance to keep an even keel and level out, or just because it's a really fun activity you really enjoy doing, I strongly stress open disclosure and honesty here.

Alas, but even though I take my own advice, I still meet with disappointment in the form of hesitation, resistance, not so nice comments, a complete trashing of myself or i get totally ignored.. However I do know that if and when I meet that right person, it'll be a great match!

If I could blend or merge my 2 lives and personas together somehow, as in.. maybe take a friend or contact from here and get to know them outside this site.. like facebook. With an agreement that the T word wouldn't come up between us. Maybe build on some other issues. Have to take the ball out of this court somehow to showcase other attributes. Around here, just as vanilla men are on vanilla sexually-themed or even dating sites- we're all just considered to be slime anyway.

Hope that rant made sense to some of you. Best of luck, Mike.
 
Been there. In my experience, patience is the key to a tickling fetish. Eventually, partners can grow to appreciate a tickling fetish, but only if its introduced gradually. Anyone who regularly watches video clips will have a slightly different view of 'mild tickling', 'torturous tickling', etc. as compared to someone who isn't into the fetish. You don't want to scare someone off. That aside, being upfront is usually a good option.
 
Tickling has ruined my life. its almost impossible to find a hot woman, thats super ticklish, and enjoys it. its hopeless.
 
maniactickler said:
Tickling has ruined my life. its almost impossible to find a hot woman, thats super ticklish, and enjoys it. its hopeless.
Click to expand...

Your sentence is missing the qualifier "...that likes me in return." That might make your statement more to the point. Otherwise, there are oodles of hot, super ticklish women out there that enjoy it.
 
M.I.K.E. said:
*Disclaimer: I was hesitant about making this thread, because of the personal nature of it. Plus it is my first thread, but I wanted to see if I was alone in this issue*

If there are two things in life I have had trouble coping with, it is sex and my tickling fetish. I have never been a very sexual person in the traditional sense, but find that since puberty my tickling fetish is the only thing that can really get me "aroused". That really was not a problem for a while because in the majority of romantic relationships I have had I avoided any real sexual contact. That has changed recently. I have been seeing this woman for about 5 months now. We are not officially dating but we are in a limbo phase for different circumstances. This woman is different from any of my last relationships because she is hypersexual, and I was a virgin when we met. She was very accommodating and was patient with me, but at the same time she was puzzled why I was not getting turned on by anything she tried. I do not know how I would feel telling her about my tickle fetish. It is something that I am not open with anyone about. At the same time, something tells me that she would be accepting of it.

Regardless, I wanted to pose this question to everyone. Has anyone ever got to the point with their tickling fetish where it completely dominated their sexual urges?

I hope this thread doesn't seem too weird. If it does weird anyone out, I apologize xD
Click to expand...

I understand your hesitation, but women who are "hypersexual" are probably savvy to different things. Be honest and up front with her....that is the best thing you can do. Hiding it will only make things difficult.
 
C.A.B. said:
Your sentence is missing the qualifier "...that likes me in return." That might make your statement more to the point. Otherwise, there are oodles of hot, super ticklish women out there that enjoy it.
Click to expand...

Something about oodles and hot ticklish women that makes me all fuzzy inside. lol

DK
 
C.A.B. said:
Your sentence is missing the qualifier "...that likes me in return." That might make your statement more to the point. Otherwise, there are oodles of hot, super ticklish women out there that enjoy it.
Click to expand...

Yep. i realized i should have added that in after i posted it. you are correct sir!
 
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