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    Quote Originally Posted by shytickler
    These are interesting.
    glad you think so
    These are interesting.
    I cut off most of my relatives quite some time ago; it just wasn't worth it. I look at it like a Venn diagram; Once circle is your Relatives - the people you were born into, whose connection with you is by blood or marriage. The other is your Family; the people you choose, who love you, and who you love back, who you can trust with your feelings, and who want you to be happy, whatever that means to you. If you're lucky, those circles overlap, and you can have Relatives who are also Family. But if not, fuck 'em. Don't take shit from anyone just because you share DNA, and never let your Relatives give any shit to your Family.
    Stay Strong.
    I literally just got a message from a toxic family member using a fake name/account on Facebook because I have blocked 4 others. And she thought she was doing something nice! I cant...
    Again: bullseye. You're putting words on all the things I've been through firsthand without fully realizing what went on.

    Stay strong~
    I've seen far too much of that going on around here; it's why some people close to me have left the forum; they just didn't feel safe.
    Quote Originally Posted by Pragmatic
    It is an amazingly powerful moment to state fact to a narcissist and "take away" their opportunity to double-talk themselves into a better looking position by breaking off engagement and walking away. Placing a boundary in front of them is like placing a K-rail in front of a speeding Honda Civic: lots of meaningless noise but no momentum to move forward.

    You take back the control over you they so desperately need to validate themselves. That, my friend, is more powerful than you may realize.
    Exactly. It can be difficult and take a lot of time to get there, but very worth it if you can - to get away from such people / neutralize their evil-ness.

    I love that analogy by the way lol
    Quote Originally Posted by Wolf
    This has been a great series of posts; I hope some people will take this information and be better equipped to deal these behaviors when they recognize them in others, or even themselves.
    That would be awesome. I'm kind of writing it out as a way to help myself remember what to look out for. I'm terrified of exhibiting any of these myself, but I'm sure I have.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mitchell
    Thanks for that post , chicago.

    Question.

    Would you consider.. things like.. insults, and putting other people down, a trait of this?

    I know someone who does exactly those things
    No probs Mitch - I would definitely consider someone who does what you say as 'toxic' especially if they have a habit of such behavior and their intentions are to hurt feelings. There are many people that engage in name-calling and such as a playful way of interacting with friends, but if it's upsetting people - it's not fun, it's mean.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tenebrae
    It's a good series of posts but this #10 is the one I relate the best to, cause I've had such an experience. The worst when you're dealing with someone like that, is that you often don't realize what they are doing until at least some damage has already been done to you. It took me a year to cut off all ties with that toxic person, and it is one of the best decisions I have ever taken in my life.

    More power to you ♥
    Exactly, their behaviors can be really insidious. I'm so glad you were able to get away from that person. Thank you for the comment <3
    Quote Originally Posted by SillyTheKidd
    This makes me sad. Or rather, sounds so familiar. My own experiences w family members who have shunned me because Iím relating to other family members. My own inner voice, at least a younger version of me who inherited so much of these traits from my Dad. Seeing it laid out so plain, really hits home.

    Man Iíve gotten a lot out of the blog section lately.

    Thanks Chicago.
    Sorry to bring up any bad feelings. I've dealt with so many shitty people over the years, it feels pretty hard to interact with anyone these days. I'm glad you were able to get something out of what I've shared here. Happy to help. Thank you for the kind words.
    It's a good series of posts but this #10 is the one I relate the best to, cause I've had such an experience. The worst when you're dealing with someone like that, is that you often don't realize what they are doing until at least some damage has already been done to you. It took me a year to cut off all ties with that toxic person, and it is one of the best decisions I have ever taken in my life.

    More power to you ♥
    This makes me sad. Or rather, sounds so familiar. My own experiences w family members who have shunned me because Iím relating to other family members. My own inner voice, at least a younger version of me who inherited so much of these traits from my Dad. Seeing it laid out so plain, really hits home.

    Man Iíve gotten a lot out of the blog section lately.

    Thanks Chicago.
    Thanks for that post , chicago.

    Question.

    Would you consider.. things like.. insults, and putting other people down, a trait of this?

    I know someone who does exactly those things
    This has been a great series of posts; I hope some people will take this information and be better equipped to deal these behaviors when they recognize them in others, or even themselves.
    These points are all very well taken. Toxic narcissists seem to be everywhere these days, in my world at least. Wise words, and very helpful food for thought. Thanks for posting this information!
    It is an amazingly powerful moment to state fact to a narcissist and "take away" their opportunity to double-talk themselves into a better looking position by breaking off engagement and walking away. Placing a boundary in front of them is like placing a K-rail in front of a speeding Honda Civic: lots of meaningless noise but no momentum to move forward.

    You take back the control over you they so desperately need to validate themselves. That, my friend, is more powerful than you may realize.
    Thank you for reading and the kind comment.
    Wow. I'd take it a lil further perhaps but that's fantastic, great analagy (or was it analysis - I always screw those up) but now I'm gonna look at some things I might otherwise never thought of b4. (in my TMF behavior, online behavior, as well as my physical neighborhood day to day "NON internet" surroundings etc.

    side point: (I know you don't care about my thoughts chicago but your words here just really make sense so I'm saying so)
    Like you give a shit lol
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