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*The Borg are intiating communications with the Enterprise are a brutal intital attack*

Commander Kurch: Put the communication up on the screen Warf.

Warf: Aye Aye Commander.

The Borg Commander:

Perspiration Is Senile!

Commander Kurch: Perspiration Is Senile?????

*The Borg Commander's assistant whipsers to him thats "Resistance is Futile!". The Borg Commander somewhat pissed whspers back "Well its a bit

...

*Currently The Borg and the Enterprise are engaged in battle. Data thinks he has a way to defeat them*

Data: I think I have detected a major weakness in the Borg's computer systems Commander. I will need a few moments to check things out with Jordi to be certain.

Commander Kurch: Excellent Data go ahead but be as quick as you can about it.

Data: Aye Aye sir.

*Commander Kurch notices Warf secretly hiding something*

Commander

...

*Data and Jordi now have a plan to thwart the Borg now all they must do is find a way to execute it.*

Commander Kurch: What do we need to do to execute this plan of yours Data so we can get the Borg to upgrade to Vista?

Data: We will need to create a large enough commotion so that we might overide their security and force the upgrade. A harsh barrage of photon torpedoes or severe injury to any Borg crew member would probably suffice.

Commander Kurch:

...

*kurch goes down to the bakery conference in Akron to see what he can uncover about an evil marketing scheme being planned. There he meets up with Peter Watts.*

Kurch: Hi Peter.

Peter Watts: Hi Kurch. Shall we look about and see what we can find?

Kurch: Yes this place is huge so the sooner we get started the better. Hopefully we can get some clues down here.

*not soon after they head to the conference a crazed Food Network Star approaches

...

*The time has come to confront and stop the evil Linda Butler and her plans to sell her tainted fruicakes that cause insanity.*

*kurch's phone rings*

Kurch: Hello.

Peter Watts: Watts here.

Kurch: Whats here?

Peter: Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!! ITS ME PETER

Kurch: Hehehe Hi. Whats new Peter?

Peter: Good news Emeril will be ok. Those fruitcake prions though are dangerous, a few more and they would have caused

...