Midnight, the stars and... me.

Sometimes I miss that addictive sensation. It is on my mind constantly, but it is locked up in the back of my thoughts. Like a tiny little prisoner, a naughty little prisoner.

I lurk on forums and my low key social media profiles. Sometimes I want it so bad it is the only thing I can think about. Sometimes I find it incredibly awkward and want nothing to do with it.

I think I have done so many things my "vanilla" self considers as "low" in order get it. Sometimes I feel bad about it, sometimes I could not care less.

Sometimes I feel like a pervert: dirty, needy, no self-control... even evil.

Maybe that's the reason why I am never satisfied.

I need to be drowning in work in order to not think about it. It can be days, sometimes months. But it always comes back.

I am sure that if I get my fix these days I will want more, and my unrealistic, thirsty, no self-control personality will be at is highest.

I wish I was a kind, warm, an innocent woman. You know. The kind of woman that would have never gotten into this "world".

Why can I just get enough from clips, like a normal tickle-phile? Why don't I write my own experiences and share my fetish with the world in a healthy way?

It follows. Everywhere I go. Every stage of my life. It is always going to be there, messing up my decency, making me want it more.

Please do not give it to me. I have got a taste of it... and I am unable to control myself.

Rm