desdemona 
2nd Level Orange Feather

to move on ? I just don't know why or how to make the call. I've seen some things that concern me and make me feel empty inside, discarded. I hate being in limbo, hate not knowing. I hate being afraid to ask, or to make the decision. I suppose even writing this, I have made a decision. I just don't want to admit it to myself or make it final. The longest adult relationship I have had the privilege of being in and a good friend, both lost in one blow. Heartbreak never gets easier.

Read More

It's been cold and rainy here this week. But yesterday, the sun broke through. Only thing... I was crying. My beloved (almost) 22 year old cat Peaches died in my arms. I knew she was close to passing and I was going to take her in with me to work. But she took that final decision out of my hands. It's the hardest call to make - the ultimate act of love. She was still warm and rigor hadn't set in yet, but I'm still not sure exactly when she departed - probably around 8AM. I was both shocked

Read More

Tonight, I had to euthanize my beloved cat, Jasmine. She was my constant companion, a bundle of joyful fur that would meet me at the stairs when I got home from work. She succumbed to cancer of the intestine. Which is ironic. Because I'm having intestinal issues of my own. As I watched her withering down to next to nothing, I was amazed that she still had strength left. I mean, I knew she was losing the fight. But as a creature of habit, she followed me around, sleeping next to me each night,

Read More

Today, I ventured into previously uncharted territory. I was "Domme for a day." Now, I'm not a switch, so please don't get the wrong idea when I tell you how this came to be and what transpired a few hours ago. I'm happy in my role as a sub. I've been content to be with my Dom for going on 6 years now. So how did this role reversal even come about? First, if you're not interested in D/s and the psychological aspects of it, I suggest you not read further. This isn't a blog about tk - you can

Read More

So my cat had her first chemo treatment today (well, technically her second since we gave her something after her ultrasound...but it wasn't effective against the kind of cancer she has).

I thought I'd tell you all what it's like, since this is my first foray into having an animal with cancer that I had the opportunity to try any treatments with. So far, testing would have run me around $500 or so. Treatments and continued testing run around $300/month or such. I have to watch

Read More