Coming out to your Partner

Mortia · Aug 25, 2016

Hello everyone,

I've been lurking around the site for a while now and this seems like a nice community so I thought I'd join. Nice to meet you!

I was wondering if I should share my kink for tickling with my partner and, if so, how should I tell him. It's not something that comes up naturally (we don't really tickle each other) and I'm a little embarrassed to tell him. I've never actually told anyone about my particular interests.

Does anyone has any suggestion, advice or life experience they would like to share with me about confessing their interests? If so, how did your partner react?

Have a nice day,
Mortia.

Love Tickling · Aug 25, 2016

Do it during an intimate moment. While cuddling usually works.

tickletherapist · Aug 25, 2016

There's a thread not far where the topic is already being discussed. You may have a look.
Although there's quite a bit of off-top there thanks to some well-known individuals

sharp123 · Aug 26, 2016

So this is just my own experience, maybe it'll help. I just went for total honesty. Not in a weird or aggressive way, but simply just told her during pillow talk. I asked her her likes and dislikes and I told her mine. And told her how much fun it was for me and she totally embraced it. Her actual words we "holy f*ck that sounds nuts, lets try it" lol and the other thing it made me realize was if you're with someone that cares about you, they want to make you happy. Not be judgemental. : )

baker_ben · Aug 26, 2016

Well the best idea is to just talk to him about it. I understand being kind of embarrassed but I think there's a good chance he'll love it. Do you want to be tickled, tickle him, or both? Because whatever it is I think a lot of guys would love the chance to have their hands all over their girlfriends body making her laugh, and some would like their girlfriend doing the same to them even if they don't have a thing for tickling.

If you don't want to tell him just yet, just try briefly tickling him sometimes and see what his reaction is. Like someone else said when you're cuddling is a good time or when he's paying attention to something else you can surprise attack him. If he laughs and seems like he likes it then that's a good sign. If he gets annoyed then don't keep doing it because some people truly hate being tickled so you don't want to do something he doesn't like, but he still might want to tickle you.

Goatboy · Aug 26, 2016

sharp123 said:
So this is just my own experience, maybe it'll help. I just went for total honesty. Not in a weird or aggressive way, but simply just told her during pillow talk. I asked her her likes and dislikes and I told her mine. And told her how much fun it was for me and she totally embraced it. Her actual words we "holy f*ck that sounds nuts, lets try it" lol and the other thing it made me realize was if you're with someone that cares about you, they want to make you happy. Not be judgemental. : )

This is great advice.

Mortia · Aug 26, 2016

tickletherapist said:
There's a thread not far where the topic is already being discussed. You may have a look.
Although there's quite a bit of off-top there thanks to some well-known individuals

Do you know where I can find that thread? What's the name?

tickletherapist · Aug 26, 2016

Mortia said:
Do you know where I can find that thread? What's the name?

Sure. It's called How to introduce tickling to girls.
It's much the same with boys

Mortia · Aug 27, 2016

tickletherapist said:
Sure. It's called How to introduce tickling to girls.

Thank you.

Mortia · Aug 27, 2016

sharp123 said:
So this is just my own experience, maybe it'll help. I just went for total honesty. Not in a weird or aggressive way, but simply just told her during pillow talk. I asked her her likes and dislikes and I told her mine. And told her how much fun it was for me and she totally embraced it. Her actual words we "holy f*ck that sounds nuts, lets try it" lol and the other thing it made me realize was if you're with someone that cares about you, they want to make you happy. Not be judgemental. : )

Thank you for sharing your experience. I'll take that in mind.

Mortia · Aug 27, 2016

baker_ben said:
Well the best idea is to just talk to him about it. I understand being kind of embarrassed but I think there's a good chance he'll love it. Do you want to be tickled, tickle him, or both? Because whatever it is I think a lot of guys would love the chance to have their hands all over their girlfriends body making her laugh, and some would like their girlfriend doing the same to them even if they don't have a thing for tickling.

If you don't want to tell him just yet, just try briefly tickling him sometimes and see what his reaction is. Like someone else said when you're cuddling is a good time or when he's paying attention to something else you can surprise attack him. If he laughs and seems like he likes it then that's a good sign. If he gets annoyed then don't keep doing it because some people truly hate being tickled so you don't want to do something he doesn't like, but he still might want to tickle you.

Thank you for your words.

Though I know that I'm interested in tickling, I have very little experience with the act itself and I honestly have no idea if I even like to tickle or be tickled, which is also why I'm hesitant in introducing him to tickling. I guess the only way to know is trying, which means that I'll have to tell him.

duderino84 · Aug 27, 2016

I'd say in that case, seeing as you aren't sure, if you're on the level of experimentation, then you should try doing what you usually do and add tickling. You'll find out pretty quick which side you prefer to be on.

Mortia · Aug 27, 2016

duderino84 said:
I'd say in that case, seeing as you aren't sure, if you're on the level of experimentation, then you should try doing what you usually do and add tickling. You'll find out pretty quick which side you prefer to be on.

Thanks, I'll try that.

Rectangle · Aug 27, 2016

tickletherapist said:
There's a thread not far where the topic is already being discussed. You may have a look.
Although there's quite a bit of off-top there thanks to some well-known individuals

Mortia said:
Does anyone has any suggestion, advice or life experience they would like to share with me about confessing their interests? If so, how did your partner react?

Absolutely.
Tell them honestly in a heartfelt manner with as little beating around the bush as possible.
This person loves you, or at the very least cares about you. A lot.
They've already established that within themselves.
Now you've got to get across the point that this is a part of the you that they love.

When I told my wife, back when we were dating, I went deep with it.
I didn't just express it as "This turns me on", I went deeper, explained it as if I wanted her to understand it, not just accept it.

You've got to break through the barrier of weirdness first, all of here have had lifetimes filled with thoughts of "I'm different" because of this.
Express that.
I told her how this had been with me since as long as I can remember.
How I tried to change it, repress it, fought with it, and how it's still here.

Then I went into how much tickling is worth to me.
Not just that it turns me on, but the beauty in vulnerability, the stripping down of your pretense and having someone you care about bring you out of your shell.
The intimacy of having someone see you outside of yourself, out of control.
How nobody pretends when they're being tickled, how they're not thinking of bills, of fears, of pressures.
They're just..free.

I went in depth into how I felt when I was tickled.
I went in depth into how I felt when I tickled others.

Once I started it just poured out over the course of about three weeks of talking about it.

For her part, she was amazing.
She had tears in her eyes when I told her how painful it had been having to hide being different my whole life, and how scared I had always been of people finding out.

She actually went and Googled it and found the TMF pretty early on after I told her, and brought it to me yelling "Look what I found!"
I had to be all like "Oh..yeah..I know..here's my account."

Next thing I knew, she was saying things along the lines of "Well, what are we going to do with this? Do you want to get involved? Go to gatherings? I'm down!".

It wasn't long after that, we were driving to meet TMFers for drinks and making plans to go to munches.

Pour yourself out man. Reach into your heart and find what all of this is worth to you and lay it in front of her.
If somebody loves you, and they see that something is important to you, is a part of you, a deep, fierce part of you..
..they'll accept it.

Fisto · Aug 27, 2016

Hello. I have also joined right now after years of lurking ^^

I know most of us are shy about our love for tickling, but... that is just tickling. If we cannot share our love for certain acts with our partners, who can we share them with then? Have in mind I'm pretty straightforward guy and I always went dead ahead and told about my love for tickling to my girlfriends (and yes, I am shy guy, but I also know what I want and go for it to achieve it). After that everything was great and we explored that world together. Maybe you and your partner might too.

So, I'd say just tell him. After all, I believe you have nothing to lose, and potential gain is high. Worst that can happen is he might not be interested about that and that's it. Or, he could be interested into trying it with you. I mean, many people perform some kind of tickling sometime. Maybe he will also share something like that with you, who knows. You can also try to tickle him for fun to test reaction.

If you are still embarrassed, have in mind that many people have, what some might characterize as really weird fetishes. And we love just tickling. Big deal. ^^

Rectangle · Aug 27, 2016

Mortia said:
I've been lurking around the site for a while now and this seems like a nice community so I thought I'd join. Nice to meet you!

Fisto said:
Hello. I have also joined right now after years of lurking ^^

Mortia · Aug 28, 2016

Rectangle:

Wow, thank you for your words! That was beautiful and inspiring. In fact, I think I'll add your words to CapturedDoll's Best Of tread, if you don't mind

Also, your video made me laugh xD Thank you.

Rectangle · Aug 28, 2016

Mortia said:
Rectangle:

Wow, thank you for your words! That was beautiful and inspiring. In fact, I think I'll add your words to CapturedDoll's Best Of tread, if you don't mind

Also, your video made me laugh xD Thank you.