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A reminder about negative comments

TMF Jeff

TMF owner and co-founder
Joined
Apr 2, 2001
Messages
26,893
Points
63
I've moderated a few comments here lately that were really mean and unnecessary, but hadn't been reported - I just happened to stumble across them.

So this is just a quick reminder that if someone is being a jerk, report it by clicking the ! symbol at the bottom of the post (inside the black triangle) and we'll delete it and maybe kill that person's account.

You guys are mostly an amazing and positive community, this is directed just at a few specific comments I saw that made me think this reminder might be helpful.

Thanks!
 
I've moderated a few comments here lately that were really mean and unnecessary, but hadn't been reported - I just happened to stumble across them.

So this is just a quick reminder that if someone is being a jerk, report it by clicking the ! symbol at the bottom of the post (inside the black triangle) and we'll delete it and maybe kill that person's account.

You guys are mostly an amazing and positive community, this is directed just at a few specific comments I saw that made me think this reminder might be helpful.

Thanks!

[emoji120]


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
If its a negative opinion with good arguments I dont see a reason to report them to be honest.
Everyone should be free to give their opinion. and a fully 100% positive community is simply said imossible

He's talking about a negative comment (ie: rude and nasty, or as Jeff said "mean and unnecessary"), and that can be helped. He's not talking about expressing a contrary opinion.

Some people here ONLY want to participate if they can be snotty to somebody else, inhibit them, embarrass them, "call them out" on (sometimes) very petty and frivolous "infractions". And you don't see or hear from them unless they're doing that.

...so I think Jeff's "crackdown" is aimed primarily at them, although all of us (me included) have our snarky moments.

Pre-2004 you seldom saw flames on the TMF, and when you did, they were put out very quickly. (That's because people still had the memory of alt.tickling in their heads, which was fifty times worse than the TMF on it's worst day. The early TMF consciously tried not to repeat that environment, and was largely successful).
 
Its ok to report any comments you believe to be offensive, nasty or in any way hurtful. It's a report that can be viewed by admin/moderators, not a death sentence. TMF Jeff is simply empowering people to speak up if you feel something is wrong with a comment. Highlight the bad form for review and assessment that's all.
 
I've moderated a few comments here lately that were really mean and unnecessary, but hadn't been reported - I just happened to stumble across them.

So this is just a quick reminder that if someone is being a jerk, report it by clicking the ! symbol at the bottom of the post (inside the black triangle) and we'll delete it and maybe kill that person's account.

You guys are mostly an amazing and positive community, this is directed just at a few specific comments I saw that made me think this reminder might be helpful.

Thanks!

Thank you, Jeff! That kind of behavior has driven many people away from the forum and it's good to see something is being done about it. Expressing opinions is one thing, but when all you do is spout negative remarks and act like an ass, it makes the forum much less welcoming. This gives me hope for the future of the forum.
 
No, this is not a positive decision it is cowardly. Unfortunately this is the direction society is heading. Someone can deem that a comment is inappropriate and have the person removed from the forum. Really? The worst part is that the younger members of this forum are among the most easily offended. A very sad day for this once amazing place.
 
The Mods here aren't the sort to ban someone just because they report a post. They go over and judge everyone fairly. Banning is a rare action for extreme behavior. If anything, Should some be the easily offended type who reports every little thing.
I'm sure Jeff would have a stern word of warning for that person.
 
I wanted to say I agree 100% , I think people take for granted the ability to say something and be adults and realize it is okay to have someone say something and to not be triggered by it and realize well I might disagree with what was said I might not like what they said but I will defend there right to say it . The problem with the well meaning idea of things like this I think is the problem who gets to decide whats okay and what is not , no matter what we say there is and has always been and will always be someone that dos not like what was said or feels offended . The thing about offense is it can only be taken never given . I normally do not post often but in this case I felt like its a important topic well beyond this forum and the few people on here and to agree with what delicatetouch is saying .
 
No, this is not a positive decision it is cowardly. Unfortunately this is the direction society is heading. Someone can deem that a comment is inappropriate and have the person removed from the forum. Really? The worst part is that the younger members of this forum are among the most easily offended. A very sad day for this once amazing place.

I wanted to say I agree 100% , I think people take for granted the ability to say something and be adults and realize it is okay to have someone say something and to not be triggered by it and realize well I might disagree with what was said I might not like what they said but I will defend there right to say it . The problem with the well meaning idea of things like this I think is the problem who gets to decide whats okay and what is not , no matter what we say there is and has always been and will always be someone that dos not like what was said or feels offended . The thing about offense is it can only be taken never given . I normally do not post often but in this case I felt like its a important topic well beyond this forum and the few people on here and to agree with what delicatetouch is saying .


There have been rules regarding etiquette for this forum since it was established almost 20 years ago. Posts being deleted or altered or even (rarely) people getting banned because they disobeyed those rules has happened from the beginning. Trying to frame this as a “PC Culture gone wild” thing feels like projection of whatever hang ups you have regarding modern culture. That has nothing to do with this.
 
I wanted to say I agree 100% , I think people take for granted the ability to say something and be adults and realize it is okay to have someone say something and to not be triggered by it and realize well I might disagree with what was said I might not like what they said but I will defend there right to say it . The problem with the well meaning idea of things like this I think is the problem who gets to decide whats okay and what is not , no matter what we say there is and has always been and will always be someone that dos not like what was said or feels offended . The thing about offense is it can only be taken never given . I normally do not post often but in this case I felt like its a important topic well beyond this forum and the few people on here and to agree with what delicatetouch is saying .

However to be malice and attack one personally and attack one’s career and be verbally abusive is never OK! And if we want to make this place a safe place for everybody and have more women feel comfortable here it’s only fair that moderators are able to delete abusive comments right?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
At least one exception to this "rule" should be in the video section. When people/companies post clip samples that they are trying to sell...in my opinion...they should be open to any comments/critiques...positive OR negative...members may care to make.
 
I forgot to subscribe to this thread when I posted it, so I missed the later comments.

First, let me clarify what I mean by a negative comment, because you can dislike something without being negative about it.

For example, let's say there's a clip that's all feet and you're not a foot person. You could say it in a positive way by saying "Thanks for sharing this. I like the look of this girl, and she has a great laugh, but I'm not a foot person so this clip doesn't really appeal to me. It would be great if you did something upperbody with her."

Or you can say it in a negative way by saying "This sucks, why does everyone post all-foot clips. I'm sick of seeing feet around here!"

Or worse, you could make it personal - "This clip sucks, you make shitty clips, and that lee is ugly."

The first way encourages people, makes it clear that there's nothing personal, and let's them know what they could do that you'd like more. The other two are mean attacks - and there's no reason for things to go to that point.

...

If you don't like a clip there are ways to say that without being mean or a jerk, which is what this post was about - some people were acting like jerks just because they didn't happen to personally like something.

Or you could just not say it at all - often when people say something stupid and jerky, there's no reason for them to have even bothered to start expressing the thought in the first place. Nobody but them needed to know or would have cared.

And that's not a new rule on the forum - The TMF was created specifically for this reason 20 years ago - we used to call it "the flame-free forum" because it was built to give people a place to go who were sick of how hostile the alt.net tickling groups had become.

This was never a place where you could say anything you want to anyone. As far back as 2005, we clarified that point by instituting the Golden Rule in this post - <A HREF= "http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?131566-The-Golden-Rule&p=1768317#post1768317">"if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."</A>

This thread here was a reminder about that, after I found a lot of posts that broke the long-standing rule. If people thought this wasn't a positive-comments-only forum, they were mistaken. It's always been that way, although I have to admit that I haven't always been the best about handling that responsibility. I've been running the forum for 20 years, and I've sometimes let the things going on in my personal life affect how I handle the things happening here.

...

But I had a revelation over this summer - I'm a big fan of the show Critical Role, and there was an incident where I got moderated on their youtube channel as part of a larger situation and I did NOT like it. I thought they were being too sensitive and overly protective of people's feelings.

They did a live show where they let the audience ask questions, and they requested that people be as brief as possible so they could let as many fans participate as they were able to get through.

They said "In other words, please come up to the mic and just ask your question. Don't tell us your life story about how you became a fan or how much the show means to you. We like hearing that stuff when we bump into you in the hallways or at a meet and greet. But for this right now, it's better not to get into it."

So the first guy at the microphone stammers his way through two minutes of his history as a fan and how much it means to him, and I, along with a bunch of other people, goofed on him for it. Some people were really harsh. I didn't think I was particularly bad, but I was moderated along with everyone else who got into that, and at first it really pissed me off.

But then I started thinking about it, and I realized I was wrong. I like how good it feels to participate on the Critical Role videos and how, unlike a lot of places online, I don't have to think twice before making a post because I know it might attract a bombardment of negativity, or brace myself for a fight if I take a side on something.

Nobody likes being attacked, and if there's a chance that a bunch of people are going to pile on and call me an idiot because of my opinion, I'm going to keep that opinion to myself nine times out of ten. I don't mind fighting, but it's annoying to have to do it over and over again, so there are forums and youtube channels where I've realized it's only worth participating if I'm up for the fight that's probably going to ensue.

And I'm not a sensitive person - I came on the Internet 30 years ago during the days of Usenet when there were literally no rules. When I was building my video company Magic Touch Productions, I had every possible form of negativity that you can imagine directed at me, and I was fine.

But even though I was still able to build a successful business and post with my friends in that environment, I can tell the difference between that and a positive community with active moderators and rules, in terms of how much enjoyment I get and how encouraged I feel about participating.

...

The guy who spoke too long at the mic had made a mistake, probably from being nervous. But he didn't need to be piled on about it. And by removing that, the CR team had preserved a feeling in their fans that they should feel safe participating.

I had been wrong - wrong to make the comment and wrong to be annoyed about being moderated.

Considering how other people are going to feel about what you say is a very small amount of trouble to take, and it has a very large impact on the tone of the forum, room, city, country, or world that you're saying it in.

Crit Role handles this stuff very well and they have an amazing community as evidence of that. And coming to that realization completely reinvigorated my desire to make the TMF into a positive community where anyone who wants to participate will feel comfortable doing that. And that's why I made this post.

Which again is just a reminder about a rule we've always had - "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."

...

Not everyone is going to agree with this. I get that. But I have to use my own best judgement here.

I've put a lot of thought into how to manage a community in my 20 years of owning the TMF, and in my best judgement this is the right way to do it.
 
Great post Jeff... indeed I stopped posting in the group since I started getting some discouraging comments. I appreciate what you guys are doing and hats off for running this forum for all of us :) May you live longer and healthier
 
Thanks Jeff, I just would like to add to the point. People sometimes miss that netiquette and censorship are two different things.

In that particular scenario I could easily make a agressive critique using language that is not offensive yet crossing netiquette of local forums to the excess. On the other hand netiquette (including point of interest) is clearly written and joining the forums I am agreeing with the local netiquette, thus posting against should rise a question why did I joined such forums?
 
When a comment is negative it doesn't mean it's automatically "unneccesary" though.
This website is not 100% full of holy kind people
 
Thank you, Jeff! That kind of behavior has driven many people away from the forum and it's good to see something is being done about it. Expressing opinions is one thing, but when all you do is spout negative remarks and act like an ass, it makes the forum much less welcoming. This gives me hope for the future of the forum.

But you are a hypocrite because i can remember being enraged by you calling a member ( not me)who criticised your..frankly low quality commercial videos as ...a "butthurt"... I was frankly outraged...if you are thanking Mft for his support it's because you are sick of people calling you out. So maybe you should pay attention to their comments....or make your money somewhere else.
 
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