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Considering a version of "Verified" for the TMF

I can understand why you’d want more levels of verification on this website, a lot of places are big on that now. I if everyone else is down for that, hey it’s cool.

However, I would not participate in this.


First and foremost, my private life is my private life. I’m extremely uncomfortable with my picture being shared anywhere.

You won’t see me at NEST or any gatherings, it’s just not my bag.

You won’t see me browsing personals, or looking to meet in person. I’m not here for that.

You’ll never have to worry about me sharing a picture of anyone trying to pass it off as me. I’m not here to catfish.


I’m here to share stories, and do my best to reciprocate to my fellow writers. I comment on other sections when I feel like I can add to the conversation.

But if there comes a time for me to leave, then I’ll go as quietly as I came. I’ll trust our moderators to make the best decision, and I won’t argue either way.
 
What are you verifying?
Are you verifying that people on here that use pictures to represent themselves look like the pictures they use?
It looks like most people on here use nick names.
Are going to need to match the picture to a legal name?
That someone lives where they say they do, does for a living what they say they do?

Daddy says he's he all in. He's not my dad. Are you verifying that he is your dad, is a dad?
TicklishBlackGuy thinks it’s a good idea. Are you verifying that he’s a black guy and that he is ticklish?
I see TripleH1 is on here. Is this the Wrestler, an imposter, or does the 1 mean he is the original TripleH?

Aside from being a smartass (sorry that’s part of being an old geezer) I am curios what it is that you plan to verify.
 
oldgeezer said:
Aside from being a smartass (sorry that’s part of being an old geezer) I am curios what it is that you plan to verify.
Click to expand...

That people are the sex they represent themselves as (someone told me that's a particularly bad problem in the chatroom) and that the pictures they post of themselves are, in fact, them.

Jeff isn't saying it's MANDATORY. Though perhaps it could be mandatory if you're posting pics. But, as Jeff said, if a person is NOT verified, and they're posting pics, one could justifiably ask: why aren't you verified?

The guys posting as women though.....ugh. It WOULD be fantastic to weed them out, it's so annoying, creepy and embarrassing. And transparent (though not to all members, it seems!)

By the way, it's not just men; women also appropriate other women's pictures and pass them off as their own; I had it happen with an online "friend" years ago (the documentary "Catfish" is about that very scenario, as well).

I'm assuming if a person posts older pictures of themselves, even if they don't look as good anymore, that will not be an issue. i think it's fine to see a 'ler or a 'lee in their prime, perhaps as they were when they were at their most active tickling/getting tickled, especially if they're sharing stories and anecdotes.
 
The Internet said:
That people are the sex they represent themselves as (someone told me that's a particularly bad problem in the chatroom) and that the pictures they post of themselves are, in fact, them.

Jeff isn't saying it's MANDATORY. Though perhaps it could be mandatory if you're posting pics. But, as Jeff said, if a person is NOT verified, and they're posting pics, one could justifiably ask: why aren't you verified?

The guys posting as women though.....ugh. It WOULD be fantastic to weed them out, it's so annoying, creepy and embarrassing. And transparent (though not to all members, it seems!)

By the way, it's not just men; women also appropriate other women's pictures and pass them off as their own; I had it happen with an online "friend" years ago (the documentary "Catfish" is about that very scenario, as well).

I'm assuming if a person posts older pictures of themselves, even if they don't look as good anymore, that will not be an issue. i think it's fine to see a 'ler or a 'lee in their prime, perhaps as they were when they were at their most active tickling/getting tickled, especially if they're sharing stories and anecdotes.
Click to expand...

That's a fairly valid point you're making. I hadn't thought about it, but I'd better get verified right away: I wanna keep using my current pictures when I am all dry and wrinkled :p lol
 
Well with a site like this that has so many members, that join over the year. I think it would be a good idea, I mean I never been too any events or meet ups tbh (mainly cuz a lot of the big ones are in US an I live in the UK) but with all the online issues an fake accounting that's becoming more of a problem I think something like this should happen if not only for people's own safety/security.
Don't get me wrong this IS a friendly community and over my years of posting here and on the few occasions I even been too the chat room (which can get full on at times) having just a little something that proves the person is who they are would really put me alot at ease especially since I have my own family and I would not want any weirdo's stalking fb profile or what apps getting access too that side of my life. So yes! A great idea which I feel would benefit this community alot Jeff!
 
HallKogan said:
I can understand why you’d want more levels of verification on this website, a lot of places are big on that now. I if everyone else is down for that, hey it’s cool.

However, I would not participate in this.


First and foremost, my private life is my private life. I’m extremely uncomfortable with my picture being shared anywhere.

You won’t see me at NEST or any gatherings, it’s just not my bag.

You won’t see me browsing personals, or looking to meet in person. I’m not here for that.

You’ll never have to worry about me sharing a picture of anyone trying to pass it off as me. I’m not here to catfish.


I’m here to share stories, and do my best to reciprocate to my fellow writers. I comment on other sections when I feel like I can add to the conversation.

But if there comes a time for me to leave, then I’ll go as quietly as I came. I’ll trust our moderators to make the best decision, and I won’t argue either way.
Click to expand...

To be clear, nobody would have to leave over this - you'd just choose not to get verified. And if you're not looking to meet anyone in real life or connect on that level, then it would never matter.

There would be no penalty involved in not getting verified.

Some people would choose to get verified because they are interested in sharing on that level, but most people would probably not, and that will be completely fine.
 
tklfeather10 said:
Sounds like a good idea I'am all for it but have a few questions, i think its available as an option on some sites like "Image Fap" this gives people confidence if they see the verification tick.

The idea Robmic suggests using his driver id (i was considering passport) could pose a security problem regarding identity theft, with all the scams going on worldwide, data protection is a big thing in the uk at the moment.

Some people like to remain private and have concerns about images and clips of themselves floating all over the net,except the selfie lovers, most of us wouldn't want our bosses and family seeing us on a tickling fetish site.

would these verification clips be kept on record or stored in a data bank how safe would they be,or deleted once identification was established.

For the record i'am also a more senior person (not an old fart yet,well not quite)
Click to expand...

We would not keep any records, and we would not ask for any ID - we'd just ask that you appear in some way that we can verifiy - either in person at a Gathering of Record (such as NEST) or in person on camera with something like skype.

Some social media, like Twitter, do require ID but thats because they have famous people using it and they need to be able to say that the person posting as Patton Oswalt is in fact him, not someone stealing his identity. We probably would not have that kind of issue here.
 
oldgeezer said:
What are you verifying?
Are you verifying that people on here that use pictures to represent themselves look like the pictures they use?
It looks like most people on here use nick names.
Are going to need to match the picture to a legal name?
That someone lives where they say they do, does for a living what they say they do?

Daddy says he's he all in. He's not my dad. Are you verifying that he is your dad, is a dad?
TicklishBlackGuy thinks it’s a good idea. Are you verifying that he’s a black guy and that he is ticklish?
I see TripleH1 is on here. Is this the Wrestler, an imposter, or does the 1 mean he is the original TripleH?

Aside from being a smartass (sorry that’s part of being an old geezer) I am curios what it is that you plan to verify.
Click to expand...

You had it right in your first sentence. We're not interested in proving whether or not you're an old geezer - but if you use pictures and claim that they're you, verification would give other people the ability to feel confident that they really are you, and not some other old geezer.
 
TMF Jeff said:
To be clear, nobody would have to leave over this - you'd just choose not to get verified. And if you're not looking to meet anyone in real life or connect on that level, then it would never matter.

There would be no penalty involved in not getting verified.

Some people would choose to get verified because they are interested in sharing on that level, but most people would probably not, and that will be completely fine.
Click to expand...

See, I knew I could trust you to be fair.
 
TMF Jeff said:
One of the things I always have on my mind is the problem of catfishing on the forum, and ways to address it. It's mostly a problem of men pretending to be women so they can trick people into talking sexy with them, but sometimes it's men using pictures of much better looking men in their profiles too I think. I've seen a few accounts over the years that I know are fake, with pictures of super-buff young men in the profile.

And occasionally I seem to hear about someone who gets tricked into going to a meetup that's never going to happen, which is particularly problematic, and something I find extremely objectionable. To be fair, I don't think that's a significant issue for our community

...

So one option I've been considering recently is having a way for people to become Verified - we would ask them to appear briefly on Skype or another face-time app with a moderator, and then they would get a blue checkmark next to their username.

The way that I envision this eroding catfishing is that when someone has a bunch of pictures with their profile that seem improbable, someone could reasonably ask "If you're comfortable sharing your picture, why aren't you verified?"

And we would create a discussion forum that is only accessible to verified people as a way for real people to meet each other.

What do you think of that? Does it sound viable to you? Or does it sound like it would be unnecessarily intrusive?

Does it sound like an unwelcome burden? Or more like a way to rise above the fakes?

I've thought it through a number of times, but my brain is just an echo chamber for my own thoughts. What do your brains make of this? :)
Click to expand...

Sure this isn't just a "good old moderation" textbook category of website running?

What I'm trying to say is, the majority of my experience here has felt a bit more like "talking at" people rather than "with". I used the chat a few times as well. Not a lot of women but plenty of guys who were into me discussing tickling their wives.

A fair amount of guys posing as girls in the open appear pretty clear, as this interest being pretty one - sided makes the women into tickling suspect.

What I'm getting at is despite the bandwidth you've observed coming towards the TMF, I haven't seen any discernable influx of my fetish related conversations with people who are completely new. I see more action from my other fetish (which may or may not be because despite how I feel about it my interests aren't as creepy as I think they are).

I don't even like putting my face to my fetlife, despite how easy I am to find. Hence just the eyes.

I see your concern, but based off my experience here, I don't see the socializing demanding verification features.
 
But i'm from Louisiana. Catfish is a staple of our diet. What will I eat!?
 
Doesn't this seem too easy to circumvent? Suppose I want to assume a false identity. Here's what I do:

1. Set up a profile that accurately represents me.
2. Contact an admin, appear to match my profile, and gain verification.
3. Modify my profile to don my false identity.

Then I abuse it until I'm caught. If a few people are caught, verification becomes self-defeating. Are admins ready to begin periodic enforcement checks on the total number of verified members, indefinitely…? How does that work?

(I've seen verification work elsewhere, but in that case, it was the admin-managed labels that made clear what was verified.)
 
Because this well-intentioned idea makes me all various kinds of uncomfortable, I'm going to bring up yet another very real concern: Us vs Them. It is all fine and lovely for you as an admin to say that it is not a "requirement" to be Verified, but there's a very real possibility, and you know there is, that any account that is not "verified" may be seen as "less than" and the user of said account ostracized for no reason.

I'll be upfront now and say I do not plan to "verify" myself with anybody. I also don't post pictures of myself online, I do not share email addresses or other contact information, and I have no intention of "meeting up" with anybody either, so having some sort of "guarantee" of what I do or do not possess in my pants should not matter with respect to any conversation I choose to engage in here.

However, I have seen it time and again where people will use any random, and usually stereotypical, "evidence" to try and oust "catfish." It borders on obsession for some people. As I am not a woman, I have not been the target of this, but the language I have seen people use in doing this has varied from questioning to outright abusive. I worry very much that having a "verified" stamp to go by will give people a license to be rude and untrusting of anybody who chooses not to verify due to privacy preference.

I understand the harm done by using other people's photos without permission, and if you would see this more as a requirement to unlock access for somebody to add pictures to their profile for security reasons, that makes sense, and I believe such verification should be advertised and encouraged as being for this purpose. It really should not be used to place a stamp of approval on another person. That way, people who are private, or shy, or too new to have verified, or have other very good reasons for not showing their face to a random person on the internet, don't have a blank invitation to be ostracized because, to quote Seuss, "there are no stars upon thars."

So, to sum up: create a requirement to verify that the photos you post on the TMF are actually you and not somebody else? Fantastic idea. Creating a little green checkmark/stamp of approval/verification status for the purpose of weeding out "catfish" by doing a glorified "gender check"? That one bugs me. Again, I have not personally been targeted, but I have actual friends here who are women who have been rudely addressed for not behaving like men think women should. I have friends here who are part of the trans community, and they do not all possess "passing privilege." I have seen far, far too many entitled people in chat and on the forum engage in outright vulgar behavior toward people for not meeting some expectation or other of theirs. Add to this the idea that men in general don't have to fear for their safety online as much as women do, and it gets even worse.

I am aware of the problems of individuals creating several false accounts and posting fake pictures and even being weirdly insistent on showing said pictures to me. It is irritating and frustrating when it happens. But it does not bother me as much as the potential problems that something called "verification" poses. Again: if the problem is that people post pictures and claim to be those people when they are not, then ask people to verify before they get access to post profile images. If the problem is general insecurity and unrealistic expectations... well, this solution may cause more problems than it solves.
 
These are both good points that I'm going to have to consider. Thanks for weighing in!


Coda said:
Doesn't this seem too easy to circumvent? Suppose I want to assume a false identity. Here's what I do:

1. Set up a profile that accurately represents me.
2. Contact an admin, appear to match my profile, and gain verification.
3. Modify my profile to don my false identity.

Then I abuse it until I'm caught. If a few people are caught, verification becomes self-defeating. Are admins ready to begin periodic enforcement checks on the total number of verified members, indefinitely…? How does that work?

(I've seen verification work elsewhere, but in that case, it was the admin-managed labels that made clear what was verified.)
Click to expand...



Taliesin said:
Because this well-intentioned idea makes me all various kinds of uncomfortable, I'm going to bring up yet another very real concern: Us vs Them. It is all fine and lovely for you as an admin to say that it is not a "requirement" to be Verified, but there's a very real possibility, and you know there is, that any account that is not "verified" may be seen as "less than" and the user of said account ostracized for no reason.

I'll be upfront now and say I do not plan to "verify" myself with anybody. I also don't post pictures of myself online, I do not share email addresses or other contact information, and I have no intention of "meeting up" with anybody either, so having some sort of "guarantee" of what I do or do not possess in my pants should not matter with respect to any conversation I choose to engage in here.

However, I have seen it time and again where people will use any random, and usually stereotypical, "evidence" to try and oust "catfish." It borders on obsession for some people. As I am not a woman, I have not been the target of this, but the language I have seen people use in doing this has varied from questioning to outright abusive. I worry very much that having a "verified" stamp to go by will give people a license to be rude and untrusting of anybody who chooses not to verify due to privacy preference.

I understand the harm done by using other people's photos without permission, and if you would see this more as a requirement to unlock access for somebody to add pictures to their profile for security reasons, that makes sense, and I believe such verification should be advertised and encouraged as being for this purpose. It really should not be used to place a stamp of approval on another person. That way, people who are private, or shy, or too new to have verified, or have other very good reasons for not showing their face to a random person on the internet, don't have a blank invitation to be ostracized because, to quote Seuss, "there are no stars upon thars."

So, to sum up: create a requirement to verify that the photos you post on the TMF are actually you and not somebody else? Fantastic idea. Creating a little green checkmark/stamp of approval/verification status for the purpose of weeding out "catfish" by doing a glorified "gender check"? That one bugs me. Again, I have not personally been targeted, but I have actual friends here who are women who have been rudely addressed for not behaving like men think women should. I have friends here who are part of the trans community, and they do not all possess "passing privilege." I have seen far, far too many entitled people in chat and on the forum engage in outright vulgar behavior toward people for not meeting some expectation or other of theirs. Add to this the idea that men in general don't have to fear for their safety online as much as women do, and it gets even worse.

I am aware of the problems of individuals creating several false accounts and posting fake pictures and even being weirdly insistent on showing said pictures to me. It is irritating and frustrating when it happens. But it does not bother me as much as the potential problems that something called "verification" poses. Again: if the problem is that people post pictures and claim to be those people when they are not, then ask people to verify before they get access to post profile images. If the problem is general insecurity and unrealistic expectations... well, this solution may cause more problems than it solves.
Click to expand...
 
Coda said:
Doesn't this seem too easy to circumvent? Suppose I want to assume a false identity. Here's what I do:

1. Set up a profile that accurately represents me.
2. Contact an admin, appear to match my profile, and gain verification.
3. Modify my profile to don my false identity.

Then I abuse it until I'm caught. If a few people are caught, verification becomes self-defeating. Are admins ready to begin periodic enforcement checks on the total number of verified members, indefinitely…? How does that work?

(I've seen verification work elsewhere, but in that case, it was the admin-managed labels that made clear what was verified.)
Click to expand...

Ask for a specific picture of them touching their eyebrow or something
 
Sounds amazing to me! Would love to be able to know who I'm talking to is legit, would happily get verified.

Doesn't seem too big a deal to me to appear on Skype for a chat. :)

Sent from my Z982 using Tapatalk
 
This is an excellent idea. I can think of one catfish that has been 'hehe a college student' for something like 10 years now. The Deity approves this offering wholly. ;-)
 
I know you said that verifying yourself isn't required, but i think it would be a good idea to make verification mandatory only for people who post pictures.

Otherwise i'm down for this idea. Having it be optional for people who don't post pictures or aren't comfortable enough to yet, like me, works.
 
I find it interesting that most of the people on here that think this is a great idea do not have profile pics.
It appears it would be great to verify other peoples profile pics but not necessarily your own.
 
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