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I don't like my fetish

I

Intotheworld

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Joined
Jan 26, 2020
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Hi everyone,

My name doesn't matter, I'm a 29 year old male living in the Netherlands, traveling all around the world for my job which I really love.
I started noticing thay I have a tickle fetish when I was about ten years old and it's really bothering me ever since. It's not the fact that I love tickling girls, the problem is that I'm not interrested in more than that. I'm still trying to figure out what I do like and what I don't like but I just can't find the right people to trust and help me discover myself.

I want to love and be loved by a sweet good looking girl, but I don't need sex. I want to mercilessly tickle, and tease this girl, kiss and cuddle her after I'm done tickling, but I just don't need the sex part.

What does that make me? An a-sexual guy with a tickle (and tummy) fetish? How am I ever going to find a girl that fits my needs!?

This also makes me really insecure in my whole life. When I go out, flirt and dance with a hot girl I saw on the dancefloor, I'll bring her home, but leave at her front door because I know she doesn't want what I want. Most of the time I don't even let people come near me because they'll be better off with someone else.

You can tell me that there will be someone, somewhere. You can tell me I have to enjoy this fetish, and that it's nice to have one. But I don't. It f*ckd up my private life.

Thanks for reading.
 
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Intotheworld said:
Hi everyone,

My name doesn't matter, I'm a 29 year old male living in the Netherlands, traveling all around the world for my job which I really love.
I started noticing thay I have a tickle fetish when I was about ten years old and it's really bothering me ever since. It's not the fact that I love tickling girls, the problem is that I'm not interrested in more than that. I'm still trying to figure out what I do like and what I don't like but I just can't find the right people to trust and help me discover myself.

I want to love and be loved by a sweet good looking girl, but I don't need sex. I want to mercilessly tickle, and tease this girl, kiss and cuddle her after I'm done tickling, but I just don't need the sex part.

What does that make me? An a-sexual guy with a tickle (and tummy) fetish? How am I ever going to find a girl that fits my needs!?

This also makes me really insecure in my whole life. When I go out, flirt and dance with a hot girl I saw on the dancefloor, I'll bring her home, but leave at her front door because I know she doesn't want what I want. Most of the time I don't even let people come near me because they'll be better off with someone else.

You can tell me that there will be someone, somewhere. You can tell me I have to enjoy this fetish, and that it's nice to have one. But I don't. It f*ckd up my private life.

Thanks for reading.
Click to expand...


I have to same issue tbh. I identify as asexual and tickling is really the only form of intimacy I have any interest in.

I had an uneventful childhood to the point of being sterile. I don't remember my parents paying much attention to me at all, and according to a couple of friends with experience in the area, I probably have some form of autism and/or Asperger's. I wonder if these things have anything to do with how I've turned out.
 
Fired said:
I have to same issue tbh. I identify as asexual and tickling is really the only form of intimacy I have any interest in.

I had an uneventful childhood to the point of being sterile. I don't remember my parents paying much attention to me at all, and according to a couple of friends with experience in the area, I probably have some form of autism and/or Asperger's. I wonder if these things have anything to do with how I've turned out.
Click to expand...

With new knowledge, this isn’t uncommon. A fair number of people have struggled socially, verbally, and sensually, their whole lives and are finally realizing their potential diagnosis. It’s an “ah-ha” moment.

Don’t be quick to determine asexuality though. This is where a visit to a dr and a counselor is recommended. Not because there is something wrong with being asexual, but because a lack of a sex drive can be an indicator for an illness or issue (including depression). There is nothing wrong with having a fetish, but make sure you get checked out to rule out any other contributing factors too.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
I don't think you're asexual. If tickling turns you on, then it is a sexual thing.

In my view, no one is truly asexual. We're animals: we breathe, we eat and we reproduce. It's nature. Just like you can't choose to turn off your hunger, your sexuality has not been turned off either. You have all the right men parts, and you know how they work. Your arousal might come from a different source than many guys, but still, it is sexual arousal.

Now about finding a girl. You know, women are like men: they have fantasies and needs too, all of them as diverse, if not more, than ours. Chances are you might find your fit, especially since you travel around the world. PROVIDED (and this is very important) that you take HER needs into account. No one is 100% compatible with one another; it's how you take care of her and how you will make her feel about what she wants that will be the key.

Please don't beat yourself up. It is not a done deal. If you really put effort into getting to know women (and not just "pick them up on dance floors" ; congrats by the way, nothing terrifies me more than dancing and I admire a guy who can pull it off :scream:), you might find out that you can provide just what they need. YOU HAVE NOT FUCKED UP.

Good luck out there, hunter!
 
Please don't let those that don't understand aesexuality give you advice.

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chicago said:
Please don't let those that don't understand aesexuality give you advice.

71aPU06vkhL._SL1440_.jpg
Click to expand...

This is a wonderful quote, I love it :goodjob:

I don't think I was being a "critic" to be honest. Just sharing my thoughts about what he expressed and tried to be supportive. I dunno whether I should have abstained, but it's there now~
 
Tenebrae said:
This is a wonderful quote, I love it :goodjob:

I don't think I was being a "critic" to be honest. Just sharing my thoughts about what he expressed and tried to be supportive. I dunno whether I should have abstained, but it's there now~
Click to expand...

No but :

Tenebrae said:
"In my view, no one is truly asexual. We're animals: we breathe, we eat and we reproduce. It's nature. Just like you can't choose to turn off your hunger, your sexuality has not been turned off either. You have all the right men parts, and you know how they work. Your arousal might come from a different source than many guys, but still, it is sexual arousal."
Click to expand...

seemed misguided and dismissive.

It's normal to not understand things but that doesn't mean they aren't true or don't exist. This is the kind of argument given against many of the lgbtq community and it also holds no water there.
 
chicago said:
It's normal to not understand things but that doesn't mean they aren't true or don't exist. This is the kind of argument given against many of the lgbtq community and it also holds no water there.
Click to expand...

Ah I see how it can appear this way.

I am simply stating my opinion. You're right, in a way I am saying "I don't believe that there is such a thing. It might be a wrong interpretation on your part". Not saying I am sure it does not exist, I am formulating the possibility that there might not be such a thing. Just like anyone is free to believe in God(s), or... to question his (their) existence, I guess?

My point is, I think tickling arouses us, and that is why we are here; and that arousal is sexual in nature. I could be wrong, like I could be wrong about a LOT of stuff. But even if I am way off the mark, it might be useful to at the very least submit this hypothesis to the sagacity of all readers (especially the OP) and then let the debate flow.
 
You presume those that are asexual don't feel arousal and this is not the case. But nor does arousal make one not an asexual person. A few minutes of reading about asexuality can clear these misconceptions up.

You also presume everyone is here for the same reasons, forgetting entirely about converts, those who are curious, those who enjoy touch without intimacy, those who have problems becoming aroused, those who stay here for friendships, those who are here for work, those here to understand their partners...
 
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Tenebrae said:
Ah I see how it can appear this way.

I am simply stating my opinion. You're right, in a way I am saying "I don't believe that there is such a thing. It might be a wrong interpretation on your part". Not saying I am sure it does not exist, I am formulating the possibility that there might not be such a thing. Just like anyone is free to believe in God(s), or... to question his (their) existence, I guess?

My point is, I think tickling arouses us, and that is why we are here; and that arousal is sexual in nature. I could be wrong, like I could be wrong about a LOT of stuff. But even if I am way off the mark, it might be useful to at the very least submit this hypothesis to the sagacity of all readers (especially the OP) and then let the debate flow.
Click to expand...

There are people literally saying they don’t want to have sex. That is a done deal. Is your hypothesis that they’re mistaken, that we are collectively hallucinating their existence? Being excited from tickling isn’t the same as wanting to have sex. That’s really insulting imo.
 
If you do not want to have sex, that’s perfectly ok. Sorry if you have to deal with people who think it’s myth or that you’re somehow broken. Getting excited from tickling is NOT the same as wanting to have sex, as I’m sure you realize. Others unfortunately don’t understand that.

There ARE other tickle fetishists not interested in sex, and they probably have the same concerns you do. You just need to be looking in the right place, because that’s where they’ll be. Tickle sites, gatherings, etc. If you don’t feel comfortable with the asexual label, by all means don’t use it.
 
I think this is all pretty sound advice tbh, and I think it is a compelling issue with quite a few mixed opinions, in my eyes I feel it is whatever works for the individual. And I do feel this particularly fetish is very diverse and appeals very differently to different people in what ever they wish to get out of it..even thou it maybe quite frustrating for people that are into the more quirky side of tickling. I think this topic myself is rather interesting.
 
Hi! I feel very similarly to you. While I do engage in sexual intercourse with partners, I find that when I am attracted to someone, I think more about tickling them or being tickled by them. I used to joke around with one partner who was very open to my fetish that if we just engaged in tickles and eliminated sex, I would be perfectly satisfied...he didn't feel the same lol (which was fine), but it did make me think about my sexual habits. I don't identify as asexual, but it has crossed my mind. In my opinion, the more you understand your needs and become comfortable with how you operate, the rest will come. Never settle for anything you don't feel comfortable with though. There are plenty of people out there. Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and let someone you trust know how you feel. They may feel similarly :)
 
I also identify as asexual, or at least asexual-ish. Yes, I have a tickling fetish and a foot fetish. Yes, I can and do become aroused by activities involving either. However, I have no interest in actual intercourse. Genitals kind of squick me out the way my fetishes probably squick a vanilla person out. I'm actually sex-repulsed for the most part. I'm sure there's a more accurate sub-category with a more appropriate label, as there's a wide spectrum to asexuality. I just got tired of trying to figure it out enough to put a label on it.

But yeah, I spent much of my life feeling broken and resenting my fetishes, so I know where you're coming from. Now I'm old enough where I just roll with it. I just wish I'd had the internet available much earlier in my life.
 
In a similar boat! I consider myself a Heteroromantic Asexual. That's a big term that's actually very simple.

Hetero=Attracted to the opposite sex.
Romantic Asexual= I feel attraction, I desire a relationship with all that comes with it with the exception of sex.

All asexual actually means is that you don't have a desire for sex. Only you know what you desire. People think getting aroused means you desire sex. It is very possible to be aroused and not desire sex. Tickling does that for me. I get aroused like the flip of a switch when reading/writing tickling stories. Here's the thing though, if I'm reading a tickling story and it becomes explicitly sexual, my arousal dies as quickly as it arrived. It happens everytime without fail. Trigger words like saying the woman is getting wet or that they're about to cum totally turns me off. I don't know why I'm this way, it's just how I'm wired.

It is so frustrating when people say things like "Oh, you just need to have sex. Once you do it'll all change." So if having sex is the solution, then why do most guys crave sex/sexual behavior long before they have sex for the first time? Like teens who have porn magazines and sneak to watch porn on the computer to satisfy their cravings. They didn't need to have sex for the desire to show up. So why can't we just accept some people are different from the "norm."

With all that said, I can't say I'm as distressed about this part of myself as the original post is saying. Yes, I don't have any desire for sex, but I'm also not like repulsed by it. I'd let my GF know how I feel on the matter, but if she really craved sex and we were happy together, I'd not be opposed to having sex to please her.
 
I'm not asexual like you, so I can't offer any advice about that particular problem that it's worth reading. We do have one thing in common though, we both don't like this fetish that we have. It ruined my private life too. Especially my sex life.

With that in mind, I can tell you my view on this whole situation, based on my experience. Chances that you will find someone completely compatible with you are slim to none. Yeah, you do travel a lot. That could give you that small fighting chance, but it's highly unlikely. Improbable even.
I mean, let's be realistic here. You would like to meet a (single, hopefully)sweet, good looking girl who doesn't mind not having sex(or she's not wanting it altogether), and will allow (and enjoy, if you're not a jerk) being tickle tortured basically all the time. Jesus! I mean, good luck, but...tough luck is more likely.

At least you CAN try and enjoy those other aspects of your life. You say that you love your job. That ain't nothing. A good portion of people don't even have that. Just don't buckle under pressure, and most importantly(!), don't kill yourself under the weight of all the (a)sexual dissatisfaction. That would make you even more of a winner in my book. And if a girl that fits your needs ever comes your way, though she most likely won't, you will be ready for it. Just don't get your hopes up, and you'll be happier if an opportunity actually presents itself. I wish you all the best.
 
I can relate, I have always just wanted tickling but no sex. It has been a struggle in my past relationships because girlfriends thought I wasn’t attracted to them for not wanting sex or something was wrong with them.
 
Pragmatic said:
My two cents: I am absolutely asexual and I'm a high functioning autistic INTJ-A with a very high interest in tickling. I don't consider it a fetish because there is no sexual element to it. That being said, I consider tickling to be a satisfying form of intimacy, which is shared by very few. Yes, it gets frustrating to not be able to regularly, even infrequently, engage in tickling. But that's the head full of wiring I was dealt, so I work within those boundary conditions.
Click to expand...

I 100% relate to this.
 
The only downside personally for me when it comes to this fetish is the rare occasion you come across a woman who is ether not that ticklish or isn't ticklish at all. Then there's the predicament when a woman is more fun to tickle than your GF because she might be more ticklish or have better reactions.
 
Thanks for all the response! It feels really good reading them all, and especially to see that there are more people struggling (or struggled) with this issue.. problem.. situation thingy!

I don't have much time nowadays to join the discussion, but I will definitely do that later! :)

Thanks again for the good vibes! :)
 
Mogelijk blokkeer je onbewust uw behoeften, waardoor je eventueel a-sexuele zou zijn.., of mogelijk ligt de oorzaak dieper.., voor jou ,om het uit te zoeken. Succes

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Kan een trauma zijn , da je nog hebt , op seksueel vlak , en onbewust verdrongen.., is nie zo abnormaal, ik spreek uit eigen ervaring..

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Like do you interpret sex as strictly penetration? Do you get any release out of it?

Idk man I'm pretty untrusting with penetration but I'm open to the other usual options.
 
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