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How Serious Are We Really About Meeting Fellow Ticklers? X-Posted

Sunriseticklee

3rd Level Orange Feather
Joined
Jan 9, 2002
Messages
2,687
Points
38
This discussion is just simply a discussion. It isn't meant to judge anyone or make anyone feel uncomfortable. It's just a collection of musings and thoughts.

So, I was talking to my bestie the other day (He's into tickling, and we've been friends for nearly 20 years), and I was semi- whining about wishing I had someone/ ones on call, just to play with and hang out with whenever. We talked about people paying for play and charging for play, and I realized that THAT aspect of it does seem a bit different if you are a woman. Or maybe it isn't different. Thoughts?

The question was then kinda put out there. How serious are we really about meeting fellow tickle lovers in public off line?

Would we find it more simple to put ourselves in a position to pay for play if it was easier to indulge/ enjoy with no strings attached?

Or are we willing to take the time to cultivate friendships and relationships to ease the awkwardness of meeting up with someone we do not truly know in real life?

If situations, statuses, relationships change, (as in my case) are we only willing to meet with the same people we have met with in the past? Or not?

Are we comfortable with solely chatting and role playing online? Do we mention meeting one day even while knowing that we probably will not put ourselves out there?

Have we come to the conclusion that we will probably only enjoy this aspect of our lives in a virtual space, or with any real (vanilla) relationship that we encounter?

What are your thoughts and experiences with these questions? Are you serious about meeting members of the tickling community in RL? Yes, No, Maybe?

I know that this post puts everything out there. I know that there are periods of our lives where the answers change over time or mix into a hodgepodge of A, B, C... All of the above....

For me, right at this second- I WOULD be opened to meeting people in my area who are into tickling. It would be great to have friendships with these individuals, but I just don't have the time to invest in these things. Not right now. (Work and real life just takes over.) At the same time, I find the thought of hiring someone for a session intriguing. What would that entail? Where would I even go to look for such a person or book such a session? Would I look for a male? A female? How much is too much? Should I ask for referrals? Would I make it a regularly scheduled session like once a month?

And then there is this thought- Do I actually have to pay to play with someone when I probably could find a friend or a friendly lee/ ler who would enjoy playing with me anyway? Why would I? Would you? Have you?

All these thoughts are fairly interesting to me. So am I really serious about meeting new tickle friends? Or am I content to just chatting every once in awhile online with others? Where do y'all even go outside of TMF and FL? It's been so long that I'm out of practice. ;-)

Do you actively seek people out, or are you waiting for someone to approach and ask you? Honestly, it would be great for THE ANSWER to fall out of the sky. But I was already lucky once. I don't think I'll have that luck again. If I was really honest with what I wanted, I would say that I would love to have someone nearby to call like a booty call, but for tickling. :D LOL LOL

Me: Man, work was rough today. I need to laugh. What are you doing?
You: Getting in the car! I'll be there in 15 minutes.
Me: Do you want me to cook something?
You: We can eat afterwards. Just got my nails done. Are you scared?
Me: No, but you should be. I'll be in the shower. Let yourself in.


LMAO- Listen, but at least I'm clear on what I want. Will I get it? Probably not. :-D But... I guess I'm ok with that too. For now.

Thoughts?
 
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I would certainly like to meet somebody from TMF in the flesh. In fact, it's on my bucket list. It would be so nice to meet somebody with the same kink. We are kinda like a brotherhood of sorts.

Am I actaully pursuing this? No... And because of this, it probably won't happen. At least for now, I'm not going to go out of my way to make it happen. Which is fine. We still have the tickle forum you know...
 
I'd be very open to meeting someone who shares the fetish, and I'd be very happy if I ever get the chance. Sadly, in my country tickling isn't very popular...I wouldn't go as far as saying it's a taboo topic, but certainly the BDSM/kink community here isn't very open to it. There're some paid girls who advertise that they offer tickling as part of their services, but I'm not a fan of the idea, mainly because I don't think they truly understand the fetish. So I'd rather wait and see if I'll ever find someone who enjoys it as much as I do, or it'll remain an unfulfilled fantasy :)
 
I think I may have talked to you in the past, or at the very least replied to some of your posts and I would give anything to meet up with someone with your mindset in person. But, distance usually is the major barrier. Even if to just talk about our interests would be fun. But, to me, it seems so hard to find someone in my area for that.
 
100% yes. To meet someone IRL who shares my passion for tickling would be amazing.
 
I have met some people but would love to meet more. I'm close to 50 but have still found a few people in my age or younger interested. It's amazing.
 
Yes. I've been living alone for far too long... Every fuckin day, I have thoughts that I realize I cannot share with anyone else on the planet... except online.
Yes I'm married but I'm not dead - and I see countless women daily I would LOVE to tickle relentlessly! It would be glorious to be able to talk to someone in the flesh about it.
Instead of posting here where it will be ignored at the least, and possibly remarked upon at the best.
 
I have met TMF and FL people in real life through munches and events such as NEST and Albany. Though I can count on one hand the few I keep in contact with. I did actively search to make play partners years ago with very little results.

As of a few years ago, I started going to munches again and trying to connect with fellow tickling enthusiasts with very little results. Grew tired of constantly reaching out (by messaging and such) with no responses even after meeting face to face. Consider me jaded, but while I still attended these munches and events pre-pandemic, I just knew nothing would come of things after. I just enjoyed being in the presence of like-minded people.
 
Judging from NEST 2019 near Philadelphia, there are hundreds of us who wish to meet each other and did meet each other in real life.:D
 
Absolutely want to meet a fellow tickle enthusiast in real life. Now because of life things, it will probably be a long while before I have the time and position to plan for a session or meet. But I definitely want to make it happen someday.

In the meantime, I try to make connections when I can. I only talk with a few like-minded people right now, but that's fine. I'm sure I'll meet more people and build upon my relationships more in the future.
 
I do paid tickle sessions, and enjoy them and my clients very much. These are limited to non sexual tickling, no touching of nipples, genitals, or anuses.

That being said, I would love to build a casual play relationship with Vegas locals into tickling, so long as friendship was established.
 
I wish I could meet others irl that share the same interest/kink as me, but first comes meeting and getting to know each other and become comfortable around each other. And then slowly ease into everything. Being the type of person I am (quiet, shy, distanced/reserved) it is kind of hard for me to open up to others so I tend to just try and chat online and meet people that way. But I do want to make friends when possible and I do feel like it is really difficult for me to do so because of how I am as a person. When it comes to who it's easier for me to talk to, open up to and interact with, it usually lies with girls. I get along with them much better/easier than guys. With guys it takes more effort because social awkwardness and all
 
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Yes!! I love to meet people for tickling :) I do want to build a relationship with the ler, so it takes some time to establish a connection, chemistry, trust and comfort. It can be difficult to get from point A to point B (actually meeting in real life) without the guy ghosting or things fizzling out. Sometimes dating sites actually yield better results than here - some 'vanilla' guys have turned out to be awesome lers! Haha.
 
Yes!! I love to meet people for tickling :) I do want to build a relationship with the ler, so it takes some time to establish a connection, chemistry, trust and comfort. It can be difficult to get from point A to point B (actually meeting in real life) without the guy ghosting or things fizzling out. Sometimes dating sites actually yield better results than here - some 'vanilla' guys have turned out to be awesome lers! Haha.

Only to be closer Indiana.. lol
 
Thank you so much for your responses. Just reading what you all wrote kinda normalizes all my conflicting thoughts.

I know that I am at the point where I probably am not too serious about anything except forming friendships, common conversations, shared stories, and laughs. I'm comfortable with the distance, and friendship is all I'm offering at this point (may be all I ever offer). I also was reminded by the a TMF friend that it is NOT 2005, and that the comfortable years of messenger and grainy photos are over. I guess you guys are using SKYPE, ZOOM, etc. now. :D Although I am virtual daily in my profession, and I would not consider myself shy or introverted in any way (now lol), presenting daily is not the same as popping up full screen to talk to someone met on a fetish site.

What it boils down to is this, said perfectly below:
Yes!! I love to meet people for tickling :) I do want to build a relationship with the ler, so it takes some time to establish a connection, chemistry, trust and comfort.

I will admit that I have ghosted a person or two. Usually it is because of time. I just don't go online as often as would be necessary to tend to those connections. Oh and sometimes, I am NOT looking for something sexual (just fun), but for many lees/ lers, tickling is sexual, period. (Not all... Just many.) Takes me a LONG while to feel connected to someone in that way. And you are right! It does go back to friendships, trust, and comfort. Those connections could lead to chemistry, eventually, if you are looking for it. I just want to hang out and have fun. I can't fault ANYONE for wanting more than that. (I've been there. And when you find that, it is absolutely amazing.)

For now, I just want to have fun without all those pesky strings. :twohugs:
 
I would like to meet a woman who loves to be tickled. I tried dating vanilla people but I always desired to tickle them but some didn't like it or just did it to appease me, That's when I realized this desire to tickle isn't going away.

I live in North Carolina and it seems very few lees live near me. Unfortunately I don't have a way to drive to other places. I live around family (brother and sister-in-law) who don't know about this alternative lifestyle so hiring someone would be hard to explain. I am also not very tech savy and dont have any basic apps like twitter and ofhers. I also work a mid day job which means I start in the afternoon and get home at night.

It would actually take someone who is discrete and willing to get to know me.first which ironically is harder then it seems. Tried talking to some people but it went nowhere because I'm guessing they got impatient. For me it isn't not being serious about meeting ...it's whether someone wants to know me as a person first.

Unfortunately that's been harder then I expected.
 
Oh and sometimes, I am NOT looking for something sexual (just fun), but for many lees/ lers, tickling is sexual, period. (Not all... Just many.) Takes me a LONG while to feel connected to someone in that way. And you are right! It does go back to friendships, trust, and comfort. Those connections could lead to chemistry, eventually, if you are looking for it. I just want to hang out and have fun. I can't fault ANYONE for wanting more than that.

Yes - it definitely takes time! And by "chemistry," I mean more of just building the playful and teasing relationship that makes a really fun session as opposed to the guy's just drooling over my feet lol. Sexual sessions aren't my thing - I'm just in it for platonic, torturous fun :)
 
Update- Edited and x-posted

Since writing this post, I have hosted my first Tennessee munch, and I am in the planning stages for the second munch near the end of July.

I had the honor to hang out with one of the munch attendees (a TMFer whom I have been chatting with one-on-one). That experience was absolutely amazing! It was unexpected, incredibly fun, and I'm still floored about it. Honestly, I don't think I will ever forget it or him.

I am still thinking about the possibilities of seeing what the "professional" ler/ domme (dom) thing is all about as it relates to tickling. I'm curious about paying for that type of experience. I wonder what my boundaries really are.

Ultimately, I am glad that I stepped out of my comfort zone. I am even more ecstatic that I am meeting new people and reaching out again. (especially after being completely isolated for months and months)

I realize that it is a difficult choice for anyone to take the fantasy of what we love and talk about here on TMF and try to create that safe and open community or tickly experiences in real life situations. There are many of you who are on this forum who may have sent me a message in past years. And whether or not we connected virtually, I have something for you to consider. Consider moving away from the keyboard or phone screen and live your life for NOW. Hopefully you'll get to share all of who you are with someone real whom you can touch and connect with. And even if you try and it fails, or even if you are lucky to find love and for whatever reason it either works or goes wrong- Don't think that you are undeserving of that again. &#55358;&#56801;

Sunriseticklee
 
Extremely interesting first post. You put into words what I've been mulling over for the last two decades.

My answer would be: yes, I would be interested in cultivating friendships withing the community. And yes, I have paid for tickle sessions (me as 'ler). But that doesn't satisfy me. Me, and most of the men and women who share our tickling passion, would much rather have a friend with benefits - tickling benefits. Or ideally, a relationship. Unfortunately there are many obstacles in the way: the fact that people who are tickling enthousiasts are few and far between, globally: there is just too much distance on average between us; the fact that women are, for obvious reasons, extremely wary to meet men for a play date (not in the least because our fetish usually involves bondage of some kind); and also the preconceived notions we have. When I meet a woman who is into tickling, I usually assume she already has a play partner, and that's usually correct.
When I encounter a woman who doesn't have a play partner but is looking for one, I sometimes take the bait but she will usually delay endlessly until I'm convinced she's a faker (a man pretending to be a woman).

Just to finish: on Fetlife, there is a Dutch tickling group; it has about 130 members. The Dutch population is about 17 million. There is little activity in the group. I just started a thread there where I asked if people were interested in a tickle meeting/munch; two people responded, saying it wouldn't work and no one would come.

So, I don't wish to sound negative, but the fact that our fetish is so relatively small, seems to entail that most of us will never have a play partner to enjoy it with, for the reasons I mentioned.
 
So, I don't wish to sound negative, but the fact that our fetish is so relatively small, seems to entail that most of us will never have a play partner to enjoy it with, for the reasons I mentioned.

Everything you said in your post is generally true, and I have experienced the same. Even within Fetlife, I looked closely at the Tennessee Tickling group, and I did not get a response from them either. Most of the TN people in my DMs also did not respond, and I realize it could be either that they are just not ready at the moment or that they would just rather meet one-on-one. (I'm more comfortable in a group setting.)

However, even with the prospects of it possibly never happening due to location, fear, lack of interests, and whatever the case may be, my call is to try. My call is for people not to give up or end it for themselves before even beginning. You never know. And I know that everyone's experiences will not be like mine. But it could have been just as easy (and as lonely) for me to not put myself out there. But I did, and I continue to do so. I may not ever find what I had (true love- and tickling), but I just don't want to live my life in quiet isolation when I know there are people out there just like me. Or a least a little bit like I am. Soooooo.... I'm out there, and I'm enjoying myself. There is nothing particularly special or magical about me. I think it is just that I'm willing to step out either way.
 
I think some people are down to meet anyone, anywhere.

I think some people don't have that strong a desire to include it in their real lives, but enjoy coming here anyway.

I think some people have tickling in their regular lives but enjoy the conversations and friends here.

I think some people would like to meet others but they are struggling with self-loathing or shame.

I think some people would like to meet others but they are married or in a serious relationship and unsure how to navigate that situation.

I think some people can't meet, but lie and say they can as a way to mislead someone into having a sexually charged conversation, which was their ulterior motive the whole time.

I think plenty of people want to meet up but are hesitant for many understandable reasons. I hope those people are treated gently to possibly have a positive experience one day.

There's also the problem of travel, which is easier for some and harder for others. If you're not in the US or maybe even the UK, I can't imagine how hard it might be to express one's kinks, let alone find like-minded individuals.

And lastly, those that are young, in school, having a hard time, or in general live paycheck to paycheck, can't exactly hop a jet to the big tickle raves around the states, and sometimes, even in big cities, it can be hard to find someone you'd actually want to meet. You may find lots of potentials, but if you don't want to end up kidnapped, raped, killed, treated like an arousal vending machine, etc, it can still be surprisingly difficult.
 
Just as a reminder, and just in case someone has thoughts to add to the discussion- I've listed the questions again below.

This thread isn't (per say) about why people in general do or do not meet. It's about YOU, your thoughts and whether you are serious about meeting (or not) and why. Again, no judgment.

How serious are we really about meeting fellow tickle lovers in public off line?

Would we find it more simple to put ourselves in a position to pay for play if it was easier to indulge/ enjoy with no strings attached?

Or are we willing to take the time to cultivate friendships and relationships to ease the awkwardness of meeting up with someone we do not truly know in real life?

If situations, statuses, relationships change, (as in my case) are we only willing to meet with the same people we have met with in the past? Or not?

Are we comfortable with solely chatting and role playing online? Do we mention meeting one day even while knowing that we probably will not put ourselves out there?

Have we come to the conclusion that we will probably only enjoy this aspect of our lives in a virtual space, or with any real (vanilla) relationship that we encounter?

What are your thoughts and experiences with these questions? Are you serious about meeting members of the tickling community in RL? Yes, No, Maybe?

Thoughts?
 
I would love to meet people but there’s nothing going on in Milwaukee
 
I would love to meet people but there’s nothing going on in Milwaukee

Isn't Milwaukee about 1 1/2 hours from Chicago? Could it be worth the road trip? They have a pretty active community, or they did pre-Covid.

Personally, I've actually been considering going to Chicago for some events (if they let me), and I'm 7 hours away.

If there is nothing going on in your area, could you maybe start something? :D
 
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