Sharing your fetish with your significant other

Libertine said:

With the greatest respect, sir, this solution may work for you, and as such I'm happy for you, but it only works because you've forever given up the active role for the woman you love, and are happy with the passive, augmented by fantasy. Not everyone can emulate you, or, I'll have to say, would want to.

Nevertheless, best wishes to you both.

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I seriously and wholeheartedly respect this statement, and your viewpoint, Libertine. I also agree with it.

And I would add that your lifestyle - which I believe if I read correctly is an open and healthy one where your partner also happens to share this fetish, is similarly one that few of us can emulate. You are extremely lucky and I congratulate you for it. But some of the younger people on this forum may wait/waste their entire lives looking for that partner who not only is perfect in every other way but that who also shares this fetish. I merely want to demonstrate that it's perfectly possible to live an extremely happy life with someone who's perfect but who isn't turned on specifically by tickling.

[*SIDE NOTE* I think young people may think that because someone IS very ticklish that they are INTO tickling sexually. Trust me as someone who has been around the block a bit -- this is decidedly NOT a fact, lol]

Or to put it another way, I submit that it's better to live a life with a loving, caring, sweet and compatible partner but who doesn't check this particular box than to wait a lifetime for someone you may never find. And if you use this box to check as the starting point, you may be setting yourself up for a lot of misery down the road with other relationship problems because yes there are more important things to look for in a partner than this fetish.

As for telling your partner, if it's eating you up inside, than you probably should tell her. Buckwild's anecdote above is the perfect result, which is awesome. You can also read about other not-so-great responses from partners. My choice to not tell my wife explicitly is my choice, and I stand by it. In fact the fact that I think she knows but she doesn't say she knows is actually kinda hot. Maybe the "unstated" aspect of this is some sort of sub-kink for me, lol. That might explain a lot of my viewpoint!

Love and peace to everyone on this forum

I told my Fiance before our second date. We texted all the time and we were getting to know each other and the topic of sex came up, and she asked if I had any "weird Sex things". I was pretty open but Nervous as hell, and her was response was "not to sound mean, but thats it?!". She has been very cool with it, never kink shamed. She doesnt understand it like alot of people here do, but its 1000% better than with my EX-Wife whom absolutely despised it.

okdremur said:

Been married for over 34 years, dating almost 3 before that. Been pretty open from early on, but, not as open as I should have been. I am very much into womens feet, and tickling them!! I love doing all sorts of things with feet besides tickling, but that is my cherry on top!! I'm lucky that my wife has pretty feet, they are ticklish, and for the most part she allows me to indulge. My only complaint, and its just my pet peeve, I want her feet to be pampered and well taken care of, which requires her help in this as well. She kind of lacks in this area, but when I want to spend 30-45 mins pampering her feet, getting them soft and sensitive, she almost always is willing. I consider myself very lucky, because while it does nothing for her, she sees what it does to me, and in turn that is a turn on for her! My point being, be honest, be open, COMMUNICATE, but always be open to your partners needs as well. It works so much better when its a give and take. Best of luck!!

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Man your wife doesn’t know how lucky she is!! I WISHHH my boyfriend gave two shits about my feet lol i take good care of them, they are soft and always get pedicures. He thinks they are cute yet I have to beg him to rub my feet. I can forget him tickling them 😑 I love my feet to be gently tickled and caressed and they are sadly so neglected lol

caps said:

I never said anything about it being someone elses responsibility to start a conversation about what I like, and I can't fathom how anyone would make that interpretation.
If your SO cares/wants to know what you like, then your SO will want to ask you. It's not more complicated than that.

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Actually, it is more complicated than that, in real life. Some people assume if you're not asking for anything different, then the "vanilla" sex must be good. Some people don't need anything more, but are glad to accommodate what a lover might want.
How can you expect to get what you want if you wan't even say or show what you want?

back when I was in a relationship, I did tell my bf that I liked tickling. He accepted it, but he didn't want or even liked being tickled, so I threw him a bone and just set aside the tickling, and thus resulted in me searching for others who were into it, whether they'd be just as into it as me or not (luckily, I just did find one who is into but not as much as me, and we're just friends and tickle partners), but there were days when I wanted to tickle my boyfriend after finding out he's ticklish, but at first, he was curious, but then later on he didn't want it, so I just accepted it and just didn't indulge in my kink with him. But oh well, we're not together anymore (it was a nasty, emotional abusive relationship) and now I'm happier!

I fully accept that relationships have many aspects. I also accept that some people really don't like being tickled and may even find it a triggering experience. I don't expect to find a woman "in the wild" who has this fetish like I do, but there's always a chance that I could.

That being said, I am seeking a sexual relationship, and fulfilling my foot and tickling fetishes is a crucial part of that. I've dated quite a few women over the last three years, and not a single one of them had a problem with it. Most were intrigued by it and wanted to find out more about it. Why would I settle for a relationship in which my partner doesn't want to let me tickle her when I know there are plenty of other women out there who are willing to accommodate me? I don't want to force her to do something she doesn't want to do, and I don't enjoy tickling someone when I can sense that they really don't enjoy it.

We have an epidemic of "dead bedrooms" in marriages as it is, even among vanilla people. So many people (especially men) just resign themselves to situations in which one or more of their needs aren't being fulfilled, just because they're afraid they'll never find another person who could fulfill those needs. There are plenty of good people out there. People who will make good spouses and partners while also being willing and able to accommodate your fetishes just as you accommodate what they want sexually. You don't have to sacrifice one for the other.

TheMasterTouch said:

There are plenty of good people out there. People who will make good spouses and partners while also being willing and able to accommodate your fetishes just as you accommodate what they want sexually. You don't have to sacrifice one for the other.

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KT and I found one another after a lot of searching, but the actual meeting was entirely by chance. Concealing my nervousness I struck up a conversation with the girl sitting a few computers away from me at an internet café in 2005. And everything developed because we discussed things for a month and found we were more or less looking for the same thing. It was only then that we got the proverbial room.

If you take the risk of getting hurt emotionally sometimes miracles occur.

The very best of luck to those who've not found the one yet.

Life is never a dead cert but it CAN happen.