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Results 1 to 11 of 11
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Location
    Austin TX
    Posts
    202
    Blog Entries
    1

    Ticklers, Don't F*** It Up

    It is crucial to regularly check in with the lee, particularly if you both have never shared a tickle experience with one another. In BDSM parlance, if a "safe word" is used the scene should immediately shift from play to aftercare. In the tickle world, "safe word" is tantamount to "yellow" in BDSM speak. Regardless of the verbiage, its important to get those words, phrases, or gestures down before commencing in session/scene or content shoot.

    I can't tell you how many models have retired from the tickle world - some of which are household names - because a producer(s)/customer(s) or play partner(s) let their respective arousal overtake their humanity.

    Many of you will share about how your significant other hating being tickled. In many cases, I'd wager, someone along the line (perhaps the person lamenting) pushed them beyond their limit. There exits a thin line between tickling (and most activities) and abuse.

    If you follow this suggestion - which is a regurgitation of what I've heard from models, producers in good standing, and my experience - you will increase your opportunities for play/content shoots.

    Related point, a boundary expressed should be a boundary respected. "No" means "no". If you can demonstrate that you can listen to the lee's concerns, and HONOR their wishes, it will greatly increase your chances for more play. I've reached out to talent and been declined due to the tickling. Only to have them reach out months later because they've seen my previews and or heard positive things about the experience from other talent that have worked with me.

    My secret is no secret at all, I can override my ler urges in a heartbeat because of concern for the talent's peace of mind. Producers that succeed to an order of magnitude (I hope to be among that group one day) understand this distinction.

    I wish you all well.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    1,487
    Blog Entries
    1
    I was thinking sort of along those same thoughts a few days ago. IMO ler's that don't respect the "safe word" is part of what makes us, as a tickling community, look bad.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Location
    lakes region, New Hampshire
    Posts
    7,091
    I've been tickling all my life since I was about 4 years old and I've never used a safeword. That's over 60 years! What I have done is to PAY ATTENTION to the person I was tickling by either watching or listening. In all that time I've only had maybe three cry because the tickling was too much for them and at that point I immediately stopped and let them go. And the last time that happened was a long time ago! I always try to learn from experience and in not to distant past, I have actually had some come back for more! So if using a safeword makes you feel comfortable then by all means use one. But you should still pay attention to your 'lee just in case something happens that they can't get the safeword out! More often than not, I will err on the side of caution.
    Bob

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    682
    A greatly presented and legitimate thread.

    My wonderful lady and I learned the exact things you laid out through our experiences with the harder, torturous side of tickling. I posted about our first tickle torture session as it was great, but for sure could have ended better and thankfully did not ruin or negitively change our tickle play.

    Thank you for opening the door on this topic. I look forward to reading and learning.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Garden State, US
    Posts
    2,148
    So as a guy who kind of walked away.... and walked back.. and pretty much did it several times over, I'm going to say maybe the key to being a ler is actually not being as much of a ler. Basically, even tho I'm sure this is out of the question for a few guys and their fantasies, unless the Lee is pretty much telling someone to go full ham on them, they're probably just going along for the proverbial ride. So while checking in is a way to keep things from hitting a wall, actually offering someone the chance to return some of the favor might work things into a balance. While the idea of tickling someone until they're putty in your hands might sound like a good idea, giving more control back in the direction of the lee to tickle might automatically give them incentive to return pleasure back in your favor.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    New Hampshire
    Posts
    156
    Blog Entries
    1
    All well and good advice unless you choose to play with no safe words.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    1,487
    Blog Entries
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by TripleH1 View Post
    All well and good advice unless you choose to play with no safe words.
    Yeah. I get that. What I think Sole was talking about here, definitely what I meant in my first reply, was the lers that actually go through with setting a "safe word" and then just ignoring it when it's said.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    New Hampshire
    Posts
    156
    Blog Entries
    1
    Yeah thatís pretty fucked.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Location
    Austin TX
    Posts
    202
    Blog Entries
    1
    Both set the expectation for the lee that you will honor their wishes, then honor their wishes. That will put you in a better position to play with them in the future. It will also hopefully leave them with a better experience with tickling in general.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Location
    Oklahoma, USA
    Posts
    166
    It actually disgusts me to hear when people ignore safewords because those people ignore the basic fundamentals of both BDSM and humanity.

    There's always been a very well-defined line between BDSM and abuse drawn by 1 word: consent. And when you ignore someone's safeword and prioritize your pleasure over it, then I believe I have the right to go as far as to call you as an abuser.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Location
    england
    Posts
    20
    exactly right its a bit like the warped theory when a woman/guy says no she means yes,no way when a woman / guy says no it means no, a safe word is for when things reach a stage no longer tolerated by the victim / lee it means STOP anything more is abuse or even rape, as a ler put yourself in the position of the ler or or victim would you like to proceed against your will i think not sacrifice your own satisfaction for their discomfort or stress

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