Bluesman23
Registered User
- Joined
- Jan 18, 2022
- Messages
- 2
- Points
- 1
Hello everyone! I’ve been lurking on here for a loonng time, over 15 years. I made it one of my NY resolutions to finally post something, so here it goes…
I have never told a single person about my fetish. I’ve even anonymised this account and created a separate email address purely to post on here. I have a recurring nightmare about being caught looking at material. I know the vast majority of you are normal, decent people like me, but unfortunately the vocal minority of internet creeps means I feel ashamed. I mean I’m self-aware, I know it’s perceived as “weird”, or maybe unusual is a better phrase with less negative connotations, and sometimes I really can’t fathom why I have it. There are times where I feel life would be so much easier if I didn’t and am frustrated as to why this has been bestowed upon me. Is this normal, are there others who think like this?
But ultimately, I have to accept this is who I am. The issue is I’m worried about relationships. I’ve just turned 30 and my friends can’t understand why I’m single; I’d like to think I’m a hoot at parties, confident, funny, kind etc. Last year, I was heartbroken when a relationship I was extremely happy in ended, and I’ve partly blamed the fetish. The reason we broke up is she felt sex wasn’t as important to me as it was to her. And she was right, on it’s own it isn’t and I’ve realised I think I need to incorporate tickling into it or I’m not eroused enough to maintain a healthy sexual relationship. Every other part of our relationship was great. I’ve sort of gotten away with it in the past by incorporating a bit of tickling without my partner realising that was the main thing turning me on.
I’ve just started dating someone else whom I really like, but am now questioning whether it is destined to fail. I’ve never wanted the fetish to define me and feel there are many more important aspects to finding a partner so have always just dated in the usual manner. I’m also conscious that the pool of people who share the fetish is so small that the chances of me finding someone who fulfils other criteria and shares this is minutely small (and am extremely jealous of those people in that situation!). Side note, anyone know why this fetish appears much more common in men?
So this essentially leads to the main question I’m asking. Are there people on here in long-term, happy relationships who have never told their partner about their fetish? Are there people in relationships where their partners doesn’t share the fetish, but indulges it for them? If so, what was their reaction when you “came out” to them?
Apologies for the long sprawl of the message, but it has taken me over 15 years to pluck up the courage to finally write something. Any advice from people in similar situations is greatly appreciated. Now I’ve bit the bullet, I intend to contribute a bit more. I’ve got a few excellent true stories I’ve been lucky enough to be involved in that I will try and post to the relevant section when I get time. I’ll post something in the personals, but if there are any women in the UK (I live in London) aged around 22-35 who feel a similar way, either lurking like I was for so long or members on here, please do send me a DM. I’d love to chat and happy to send my real name and hinge profile!
I have never told a single person about my fetish. I’ve even anonymised this account and created a separate email address purely to post on here. I have a recurring nightmare about being caught looking at material. I know the vast majority of you are normal, decent people like me, but unfortunately the vocal minority of internet creeps means I feel ashamed. I mean I’m self-aware, I know it’s perceived as “weird”, or maybe unusual is a better phrase with less negative connotations, and sometimes I really can’t fathom why I have it. There are times where I feel life would be so much easier if I didn’t and am frustrated as to why this has been bestowed upon me. Is this normal, are there others who think like this?
But ultimately, I have to accept this is who I am. The issue is I’m worried about relationships. I’ve just turned 30 and my friends can’t understand why I’m single; I’d like to think I’m a hoot at parties, confident, funny, kind etc. Last year, I was heartbroken when a relationship I was extremely happy in ended, and I’ve partly blamed the fetish. The reason we broke up is she felt sex wasn’t as important to me as it was to her. And she was right, on it’s own it isn’t and I’ve realised I think I need to incorporate tickling into it or I’m not eroused enough to maintain a healthy sexual relationship. Every other part of our relationship was great. I’ve sort of gotten away with it in the past by incorporating a bit of tickling without my partner realising that was the main thing turning me on.
I’ve just started dating someone else whom I really like, but am now questioning whether it is destined to fail. I’ve never wanted the fetish to define me and feel there are many more important aspects to finding a partner so have always just dated in the usual manner. I’m also conscious that the pool of people who share the fetish is so small that the chances of me finding someone who fulfils other criteria and shares this is minutely small (and am extremely jealous of those people in that situation!). Side note, anyone know why this fetish appears much more common in men?
So this essentially leads to the main question I’m asking. Are there people on here in long-term, happy relationships who have never told their partner about their fetish? Are there people in relationships where their partners doesn’t share the fetish, but indulges it for them? If so, what was their reaction when you “came out” to them?
Apologies for the long sprawl of the message, but it has taken me over 15 years to pluck up the courage to finally write something. Any advice from people in similar situations is greatly appreciated. Now I’ve bit the bullet, I intend to contribute a bit more. I’ve got a few excellent true stories I’ve been lucky enough to be involved in that I will try and post to the relevant section when I get time. I’ll post something in the personals, but if there are any women in the UK (I live in London) aged around 22-35 who feel a similar way, either lurking like I was for so long or members on here, please do send me a DM. I’d love to chat and happy to send my real name and hinge profile!
