101 Things To Do In An Elevator

We had a lot of fun coming up with 101 Things to do in Walmart during the zombie apocalypse. So I thought I’d start this. Let’s try to get to 101.


1. Press the button for a higher floor than you’re on, then jump up and down angrily and yell “Down! Down! I meant down!”

2. Stand behind someone and fart. Before they notice, move away from them quickly holding your nose.

3. Hide in the elevator, wait for someone to open the door then run out shouting “Freedom! Sweet freedom! I’ve been trapped in there so long! What year is it?”

4. Wrap your hands heavily in gauze, then see if you can get people to press the button for you.

5. Stand in the corner of the elevator, and when the door opens, say “98, 99, 100!” then turn around and run excitedly out the door.

6. Put an office chair in the elevator, and when people get on, stand up and shake their hand telling them “You must be the temp. Welcome to the team! Are you ready to begin training?”

7. Lay a pile of clothes on the floor, then pop a balloon just as the door is opening. Scream “He exploded again! Call an ambulance!”

8. If someone brushes against you, jump back and yell “Bad touch!” If they look at you, point at them and yell “Stranger!”

9. Fill a baby bottle full of milk and wait until there’s a few people on the elevator. Take the bottle out and start drinking. If anyone looks at you, offer them some.

10. Lay on the floor and when the door opens, start thrashing wildly yelling “Help! I can’t swim! I’m drowning.”

11. Carry a briefcase with you, then as the door opens leave it behind. As you’re getting off the elevator, plug your ears and count down “3…2…1…”

12. If there’s still anyone on the elevator, take out your phone, and angrily tap the screen. Grumble to yourself, “Stupid thing never works!”

13. Make sure the briefcase is FULL of Skittles, in case you need to open it. If anyone asks what you were doing, act indignant, and say “Trying to build a rainbow… duh!”

14. Put on dark glasses and carry a white cane. Swing the cane wildly, screaming, "I need room! I need room!"

15. Put on an elevator operator uniform and stand near the door. Then greet people as they come on, don’t let anyone touch the buttons but you.

16. If you’re doing this around noon, hang up a sign above the buttons that says “Back In One Hour”. Sit on the floor of the elevator and eat lunch, ignoring everyone.

17. Carry a container of disinfectant wipes with you and pretend that you just finished cleaning the elevator. Wipe the buttons down every time someone touches them, getting progressively more angry.

18. Smear chocolate on the walls of the elevator, and toss a few balls of chocolate smeared wads of toilet paper on the floor.

19. Hum “Pop goes the weasel” incessantly while the elevator is moving. Jump up and shout “POP” every time it stops.

20. Put a yoga mat on the floor, and do yoga.

21. Draw rectangles on the ground and play hopscotch.

22. Walk around the elevator saying “duck… duck… duck… duck…” then tag a random person yelling “goose!” Run around the elevator laughing.

23. Talk to your hand, introduce it as “Inviso the Invisible Puppet”

24. Play the harmonica. Ask new passengers “what cha in for?”

25. Pretend that you’re getting tickled by ghosts.

26. Play disco music, start dancing as other people get on the elevator.

27. Sit on the floor and change your socks.

28. Bring a guitar with you and have a concert.

29. Take out your phone and pretend to have a conversation. When the door opens, say “Wait your turn.” and hit the door close button.

30. Bring a large tub of popcorn and a folding chair. Eat the popcorn slowly while sitting. When other people are on the elevator, chide them by saying, "Come on, you can put on a better show than that."