butterflytickles
TMF Regular
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2013
- Messages
- 211
- Points
- 18
Good Evening Friends,
Tops/Lers: have you ever played with someone who has had weight loss surgery, usually either the lap band, the vertical sleeve, or the gastric bypass who had excessive extra skin? Did the extra skin bother you? How did that experience go?
Bottoms/lees: what has been your experience playing with someone after having your surgery if you had a lot of extra skin? Did you tell your ler beforehand? Did you keep all your clothes on to cover it? What has been the ler's response when they have found out? With the weight loss, were you extra ticklish? What surprised you about about playing with a ler after your surgery and subsequent weight loss?
I wanted to put these questions out into the universe as I have been thinking about it quite a bit recently. I don't know if we have any people in this community who have been through weight loss surgery, but statically speaking, we should have many. Since last July I have lost 40ishlbs on my own through major diet shifts and more (low-key) exercise. I'm 27 and last July I received some not so great news health wise and so I decided to change for the better. It's a long story, but with both working full time and going to grad school full time and adding in some major emotional and family trauma, things got out of control. And that is 100% on me.
Last September I started seeing a mental health professional as I had discovered through my diet changes that I actually had an issue with emotional and binge eating and I wanted to deal with those mental issues while I was working on my physical self. As someone who's been a person of size since they were an adolescent, I kind of just became accustom to it and have seen myself as this way for a long, LONG time. Because I have been a certain size for so long, while I am self-conscious about my body, it has never stopped me from playing with others (with fiancé being completely fine with it.) I just saw myself as fat and it was what it was, as I wasn't the only one.
Last December I decided to research decent hospitals locally that have a specialty in weight loss surgery. I went through all of the information and decided I wanted to move forward with it, with my fiancé's support. Chose a hospital that is close to me, made an appointment with the surgeon and decided that I was a good fit as I met the requirements to have the surgery done, combed through all the research they provided, decided on what procedure I wanted, with the help of said surgeon. Then, I met all the requirements that my insurance had so the surgery would mostly be covered. After 5 nutritional classes, several tests where I had to drink weird stuff so they could look for hernias, and test for a weird bacteria, a mental health evaluation by my therapist, and a meeting with a social worker to show I had support, all while still being focused on losing weight, I was approved.
I still have to do pre-op which is set for 3 weeks before. I met with the surgeon one last time and we chose July 28th, 2022 as my date. I am 100% on this new lifestyle change train as I know I can do it because I've been constant on losing weight (slowly). I know it's not brain surgery and is only stomach surgery which is why I took my time in learning what works for me and how I can best continue my new lifestyle. This surgery is only giving me a tool to better help myself, but I need to still put the work in, which I have been. I am not so scared about the surgery itself, like I have no control over that besides following pre-op instructions. I know the risks and I believe that for me, they outweigh the benefits.
However, I am really worried about what will come after, not the healing part, but the actual weight loss part, the physical changes part. I haven't been a size 12-14 (most common clothing size for women in the US) since I was in middle school, so age 11-13. I am expected to lose 80% of my excess body weight within 12-18 months, which will put me somewhere between 150-180lbs and this is just from the surgery itself, not with adding in exercise when I am cleared to do so. A lot of my excess body fat is around my mid section and despite planning on exercising to help tighten up the skin, I (most likely) will have quite a bit of excess skin and (may) decide on plastics.
I do play/session with my fiancé and we have a blast! However, he is always fine with me playing with others and making new friends. I haven't told many people in my life about my decision for surgery as people have pre-conceived notions about it thinking that it is an easy way out. Which clearly, if you have read all this, hopefully you know it isn't. Anyway, I am thinking about having sessions with others or in going to events like NEST, where I will have excess skin around my upper inner thighs, my belly, my boobs, and my upper inner arms. This is better than being fat, but it also less common...and more strange.
Does it matter if there is a bunch of excess skin? Would most people be accepting of that? Would that/has that gotten in the way of tickling? Was it more intense because less fat? Would you tickle someone despite them having excess skin?
I am a part of several Facebook weight loss surgery support groups and also am able to contact my team at the program of the hospital where I having this surgery performed. But, I feel like that is more of a question for here as I am specifically talking about 6 months - 1yr after my surgery when I have lost most of the weight. If it was just a general "when can I have adult intimacy again?" then I would ask them haha
If you have any insight into this, I would greatly appreciate it! Sorry it was so long, I tend to like to explain.
Also, please be kind. I am just like you, simply out here doing the best I can
Thanks for reading <3 Also, feel free to PM me if you want to discuss even further than just a reply to this.
