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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    505

    My first date strategy for tonight

    If things are going well, which means we establish a joking, teasing conversational flow and repartee, I'll take a break at some point and either go to the bathroom or go to get more drinks... and when I return, I'll apply my initial, patented, split second, one index finger unexpectedly into each of her sides move.

    If I get: "Why did you do that? I hate to be tickled?" I'll just shrug, charmingly say it was an accident with a grin, and move on.
    If I get a positive reaction, I'll say with the same grin, "Obviously you feel guilty about something, and I'm sure to get it out of you somehow."
    If I get no reaction at all, I'll think, "Ugh."

    Thoughts?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    Atlanta area
    Posts
    3,067
    Don't. Plain and simple.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    midwest
    Posts
    784
    You know what’s a better “accidental” tickle move? When you give her a hug, get your fingers just a little too close to her underarm area and squeeze. It could come off as you were just trying to hug and she got ticklish

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    Upstate NY
    Posts
    14,181
    Blog Entries
    4
    If this was a person you had been out with a few times and had formed a rapport with, and things seemed to be going somewhere then your idea is not utterly unreasonable.

    On a first date? Crossing any touch boundary uninvited is pretty much a hard no-go zone. It still falls firmly under TMF Fetish rules #1 DON'T TOUCH STRANGERS. Just don't.

    Also your action makes you instantly a de-facto bad actor in the realm of veracity. "It was just an accident." "Yah right you poked both my sides at once by accident. How the fuck did that happen?" This is how you destroy trust before it even forms.

    A reason why this happens is a function of men's viewpoint, and to use a specific term that has been totally corrupted; privilege. You get to move through your life without anyone trying to cop a feel, bump you in the elevator with their crotch, have randoms try to touch your hair arms or anything else. It's an unseen privilege that you hold that you get to live your life as a male without this sort of behavior coming at you. Most women don't. They get that shit all the time, some daily.

    So they are pretty damned fine tuned to violations of their personal space. Because they NEED to be.

    When you whimsically violate their space you instantly put yourself into the same class as all those other creepers she wades through every day, and end up in the same dumper.

    I recently had a female friend convey how a first date thought it was perfectly cool to 'honk her ass. When asked why he did it: "Ha-ha! Because it's funny!" It was a instant date ender. And didn't pass her "Cop a feel bullshit detector".

    You become "That guy" when you do stuff like this. At the very least to the woman who thought you were worth spending some of her time getting to know.

    Myriads

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Kent, England
    Posts
    2,883
    No. Rapport or not, don’t push your luck on a first date. Even if things are going well, this could ruin it. Don’t do it.

    Cheers, everybody,
    SmashTV

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    140
    Or you could just go and be normal and get to know the person and not be a creepy bastard about it.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    CT
    Posts
    513
    Quote Originally Posted by Myriads View Post
    If this was a person you had been out with a few times and had formed a rapport with, and things seemed to be going somewhere then your idea is not utterly unreasonable.

    On a first date? Crossing any touch boundary uninvited is pretty much a hard no-go zone. It still falls firmly under TMF Fetish rules #1 DON'T TOUCH STRANGERS. Just don't.

    Also your action makes you instantly a de-facto bad actor in the realm of veracity. "It was just an accident." "Yah right you poked both my sides at once by accident. How the fuck did that happen?" This is how you destroy trust before it even forms.

    A reason why this happens is a function of men's viewpoint, and to use a specific term that has been totally corrupted; privilege. You get to move through your life without anyone trying to cop a feel, bump you in the elevator with their crotch, have randoms try to touch your hair arms or anything else. It's an unseen privilege that you hold that you get to live your life as a male without this sort of behavior coming at you. Most women don't. They get that shit all the time, some daily.

    So they are pretty damned fine tuned to violations of their personal space. Because they NEED to be.

    When you whimsically violate their space you instantly put yourself into the same class as all those other creepers she wades through every day, and end up in the same dumper.

    I recently had a female friend convey how a first date thought it was perfectly cool to 'honk her ass. When asked why he did it: "Ha-ha! Because it's funny!" It was a instant date ender. And didn't pass her "Cop a feel bullshit detector".

    You become "That guy" when you do stuff like this. At the very least to the woman who thought you were worth spending some of her time getting to know.

    Myriads
    This should be read by every guy going on a date.

  8. #8
    You don't need a strategy, it's just a date. All you have to be flirtatious and touch. You flirt, and if she reciprocates then you can touch. You do that to see if she's really into you and isn't simply wasting your time. If she's sexually attracted to you, then the date doesn't even have to last that long. You could leave and go to your place, her place, or a hotel.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Posts
    40
    People have sex on a first date lol. I think it could be OK to tickle depending on the circumstances. Obviously you have to be able to read whether it would be appreciated or not. Some people have white Knight syndrome and want to show they care about consent a little too much.

    It's pretty easy to tell whether any level of touch is acceptable or not on a first date.

    I've had a first meet in a hotel room and wrestled her and had sex with her and was completely confident she was OK with it and we had a relationship for about 3 months. And yes I tickled her during wrestling before sex lol. She was an mma fine and tapped submission when I tickled her feet lol. At no point did she ever show any discomfort from that or convey any displeasure at our first encounter.

    Obviously there have been plenty of other encounters where I felt touching wouldn't have been appropriate or well received even if I knew the person a long time.

    It completely comes down to the circumstances. You can't make rules as each combination of people is different.

    If things are very awkward and there is no physical contact and you don't feel it will go down well then don't. If you feel she won't mind then test the water and if it's well received based on verbal and not verbal feedback then proceed. It's not rocket science. Every woman is different and every couple is different and have different dynamics.

    The don't touch strangers rule is about actual strangers lol, not someone you went on a date with and then came back to yours and responded well to breaking of physical boundaries or indeed initiated it themselves

    To answer the actual question, which strategy to use depends massively on the girl and your dynamic with her. No two couples are the same.

    I've tickled loads of partners, never once asked consent or told them about my fetish first and noone ever complained or felt I'd done anything wrong.

    Tickling is pretty normal. Non fetishists do it all the time as banter or flirting. There is a theory the whole purpose of tickling is for flirting.

    To advise you on best strategy will completely depend on what dynamic you have with her. Some situations it could be completely inappropriate to have any contact at all. Others, she could be tied up and begging for mercy on a first date whilst you tickle her and put a vibrator on her.

    If you have more info can tell you how I'd go about it.

    People are acting like you're gonna sexually assault a random woman on the bus or something lol. Obviously anyone who doesn't understand personal boundaries or reading a situation will quickly end up locked up.

    I had a first date a while back and no contact at all, because it just wasn't appropriate for that person. But she wants to meet again and once we break the physical barrier sufficiently I'm just gonna straight up pin her down and tickle her lol. Use legs and arms as restraints. But she's said i could tie her up first time we have sex so maybe I'll wait till then.

    Last relationship I tickled her loads. She used to try tickle be like me too but I can block it out
    Last edited by the.hedonist; 05-19-2022 at 09:48 AM.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    505
    I find some (not all) of these responses as bordering on delusional... some kind of whomever-can-be-the-most-beta-wins contest. . Or. perhaps some of you through no fault of your own are on the autism spectrum and have difficulty reading people. That's fine.

    But to the first group I'd ask, have you ever kissed on a first date? If so, when you kissed that girl on that first date, weren't you the one who committed what I'm reading above as "Crossing any touch boundary"? Didn't that kiss of yours violate the line about "DON'T TOUCH STRANGERS. Just don't"? And have you ever tickled someone without first saying, "I'm about to tickle you now; is that okay?" (If so, how dare you? For my first witness, I call... you.)

    Or, have you ever gotten naked and had sex with someone on a first date? If you ever have, were the 5 sexual positions you did with her okay, but a split second poke would have been over the line... since it was a first date?

    The reality is whether it's a poke in the side on a first date, French kissing on a first date or intense sex on a first date, none of those are right or wrong based on some list of pre-set, first date touching rules. On the contrary -- they all feel right vs. feel wrong based on the flow, back-and-forth, preamble touching, mood, momentum, vibe, shared feeling, interpersonal connection and correctly reading people. This is common sense. Take for example a casual first touch, then she returns it, then the touching escalates in frequency and intimacy -- then it escalates a whole lot more -- the notion that a split second poke at that point would still be 100% of the time inappropriate -- because it's a first date -- would make no sense to normally socialized people. (I don't think it even would make sense to my detractors in their real lives; I think they just get off on the virtue signaling of typing the lecture in a comment section.)

    Btw, I'd read none of these responses until this morning. What actually happened last night? I simply wasn't that attracted to her, and the level of undefinable "repartee" to which I referred in the OP was fine, but not stellar. So I bailed on my plan. In the end, I did adjust my actions to the situation, exactly as I'm advising anyone to do.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Posts
    40
    Lol you hit the nail on the head. But the winners of the most beta male contest never get the women, despite trying their hardest to show how much they respect consent etc. Women just don't dig that stuff.

    I've never heard of a guy charged with sexual assault because he tickled a girl on a first date.

    If there was any sexual assault involving tickling it would either be something hugely inappropriate like going up to an actual stranger on a bus and start tickling her, or there would have been more to it.

    No girl was ever like "yeah we were kissing and I was removing my clothes ready for sex and the guy just pins me down and starts tickling me. That was when I knew I needed to get out of there, so I jumped out of the first floor balcony window and escaped and flagged down a passing car who called the police".

    It just doesn't happen. Like i don't think that ever happened in the history of humans.

    I'm gonna Google sexual assault tickling and read the first 100 hits and I bet none of them will be a first date where touching was OK but tickling wasn't scenario.

    We can all read the signs, otherwise we'd be in jail

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Posts
    40
    This was the closest thing i could find to tickling on a first date lol. The rest were about child sexual abuse etc

    https://www.lancs.live/news/lancashi...s-22536887.amp

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Posts
    40
    OK found this one. This is the closest thing I've found so far. She had a boyfriend and he tickled her but also kissed her and touched her body etc so more then just tickling and wasn't a date, she was already in a relationship

    Again the key thing is being able to read a situation and knowing what's appropriate to that situation. Tickling isn't worse than kissing or sex etc. You do any of these things in situations where its clear to you that they are acceptable and if you somehow misread the situation you back the hell of immediately and apologise for misreading. If you tried to kiss someone and they rejected you, you say sorry for misreading the situation.

    But personally I'm my whole life I've never misread a situation.

    Unless you're going to start using consent apps or verbally asking consent before any contact then you have to just read the situation, proceed cautiously, and very quickly back away and burn in embarrassment if for some reason you got it wrong

    Obviously kissing at the end of a first date isn't the same as going up to a random stranger or in a situation where its not appropriate like your driving instructor or a waiter or someone in the local sauna etc

    https://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/ne...ireplace-work/

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    505
    Quote Originally Posted by the.hedonist View Post

    Again the key thing is being able to read a situation and knowing what's appropriate to that situation.
    Thank you. Yes it is.
    Reading the situation, not pre-set rules.

    I think what the radical feminists, #BelieveAllWomen and #ToxicMasculinity movements have done to this country is deplorable. Certain women, often ones who were tragically sexually abused themselves, are teaching their boys to believe they should not become men. They teach that males who are at all assertive or show leadership, i.e. anything other than staying continuously submissive to the females they're with, are by definition the other extreme -- reprobate, cave men, empathy-impaired, ass grabbers. If it's not one -- it's the other -- as if there's no other option of men who both lead and read people. And ironically, the same women who promote beta behavior of men are themselves usually sexually repulsed by it.

    I do think the #ToxicMasculinity radical feminist subculture will eventually pass over time, just as other unrealistic, preachy subcultures like hippies eventually ended. The natural order, which includes deep truths about masculine and feminine energies and the crucial skill of reading people, don't change because of virtue-signaled online rants.

  15. #15
    The correct response still is, and always was, to run into the HB already screaming (and thus intimidating potential beta cucks out of the way while causing involuntary lubrication in her sexual area through demonstration of pure male aggression), grabbing her by the ears and performing a suplex, tombstone or any other finishing move (you should still be screaming, and also already be fucking her at this point). Ideally she will pass out from the orgasm and head trauma, disabling her bitch shield and allowing for the taking of nude pictures to share with your buddies and keep her in line in the future. Try training for this approach in public, it counts as peacocking if you get a viral video out of it. In your case I would recommend starting on an HB4 or 5 and working your way up. You can tickle her when she’s knocked out, too.

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