My first date strategy for tonight

butterflytickles · May 23, 2022

brotherted said:
If things are going well, which means we establish a joking, teasing conversational flow and repartee, I'll take a break at some point and either go to the bathroom or go to get more drinks... and when I return, I'll apply my initial, patented, split second, one index finger unexpectedly into each of her sides move.

If I get: "Why did you do that? I hate to be tickled?" I'll just shrug, charmingly say it was an accident with a grin, and move on.
If I get a positive reaction, I'll say with the same grin, "Obviously you feel guilty about something, and I'm sure to get it out of you somehow."
If I get no reaction at all, I'll think, "Ugh."

Thoughts?

Honestly, the WORST part of this is gaslighting and lying about it being an accident. At LEAST give her the courtesy of copping to it, "oh, I'm sorry, I thought the date was going well and I thought you would enjoy a little sensual touch. I feel terrible that I misread the situation."

Wolf · May 23, 2022

butterflytickles said:
Honestly, the WORST part of this is gaslighting and lying about it being an accident. At LEAST give her the courtesy of copping to it, "oh, I'm sorry, I thought the date was going well and I thought you would enjoy a little sensual touch. I feel terrible that I misread the situation."

The lengths people go to, to get what they want, without admitting that's what they want...

ticklingj · May 24, 2022

I travel a lot for work so I'm in a lot of hotels so I'm in a lot of elevators. So I have to ask.. Myriads... How do women react to your skipping the elevator? Is this a common thing and they get it or do they look perplexed? Reassure you it's ok to get on? I feel like if I did that, the woman would think I was put off by her in some way.

Myriads · May 24, 2022

ticklingj said:
I travel a lot for work so I'm in a lot of hotels so I'm in a lot of elevators. So I have to ask.. Myriads... How do women react to your skipping the elevator? Is this a common thing and they get it or do they look perplexed? Reassure you it's ok to get on? I feel like if I did that, the woman would think I was put off by her in some way.

Most look surprised. A few look relieved. I actively take a step back from the doors of the elevator back into the hall when I say "I'll take the next one" so they are usually gone before they have a chance to say much.

A few have said "So why did you make the elevator stop here then?" or such. And one popped out of the elevator and asked me why I chose to do that, and we ended up having a nice chat.

But mostly They look surprised. No one ever tried to say its okay to get on.

Myriads

Etienne2021 · May 25, 2022

Reading through the thread, a lot of these stories and ideas guys have seem so farfetched. Guys need to start living in reality and stop living in their own heads. Guys are constantly getting in their own way when it comes to women.

brotherted · May 26, 2022

I’ve actually not been on this site since I last posted in this thread, and I’ll admit I was anticipating a worse degree of “all guys need to ask permission at least three times before each area touched, otherwise they’re toxically masculine and bordering on sexual offender status, regardless of the body language she’s putting out — and anyone who questions the thrice permission rule is outing their own rapiness” narrative… than what materialized. So I’m pleased to see less of a hysterical reaction than I anticipated.

But I can’t help but wonder… have any of the critical posters here ever had sex on a first date? Or more pertinent, have you ever read body language signals from another person on a date that didn’t require verbal confirmation? That’s become the discussion here. And if you ever did act on body language signals from the other person on a date without verbal confirmation— were you wrong to?

Clearly, I feel there’s an inversely toxic, virtue signaling saturated, hardcore feminist #MeToo trendy fad here, where people pretend that if men lead they are abusive to or ignorant of women. But it’s not the Harvey Weinstein kind of #MeToo; it’s the Aziz Ansari kind. Google if you’re unfamiliar, but it’s shorthand for MeToo taken way too far, to the point ordinary people call BS. To argue that body language cannot communicate anything is to me a form of PC, woke madness that does real damage to the minority who believe it, (understanding that some who espouse it, don’t even actually believe it.)

Wolf · May 28, 2022

brotherted said:
I’ve actually not been on this site since I last posted in this thread, and I’ll admit I was anticipating a worse degree of “all guys need to ask permission at least three times before each area touched, otherwise they’re toxically masculine and bordering on sexual offender status, regardless of the body language she’s putting out — and anyone who questions the thrice permission rule is outing their own rapiness” narrative… than what materialized. So I’m pleased to see less of a hysterical reaction than I anticipated.

But I can’t help but wonder… have any of the critical posters here ever had sex on a first date? Or more pertinent, have you ever read body language signals from another person on a date that didn’t require verbal confirmation? That’s become the discussion here. And if you ever did act on body language signals from the other person on a date without verbal confirmation— were you wrong to?

Clearly, I feel there’s an inversely toxic, virtue signaling saturated, hardcore feminist #MeToo trendy fad here, where people pretend that if men lead they are abusive to or ignorant of women. But it’s not the Harvey Weinstein kind of #MeToo; it’s the Aziz Ansari kind. Google if you’re unfamiliar, but it’s shorthand for MeToo taken way too far, to the point ordinary people call BS. To argue that body language cannot communicate anything is to me a form of PC, woke madness that does real damage to the minority who believe it, (understanding that some who espouse it, don’t even actually believe it.)

By your admission, no one reacted the way you thought they would; so, was the post really just a pretext for that last paragraph?

AlBundyIsMyHero · May 28, 2022

brotherted said:
I’ve actually not been on this site since I last posted in this thread, and I’ll admit I was anticipating a worse degree of “all guys need to ask permission at least three times before each area touched, otherwise they’re toxically masculine and bordering on sexual offender status, regardless of the body language she’s putting out — and anyone who questions the thrice permission rule is outing their own rapiness” narrative… than what materialized. So I’m pleased to see less of a hysterical reaction than I anticipated.

But I can’t help but wonder… have any of the critical posters here ever had sex on a first date? Or more pertinent, have you ever read body language signals from another person on a date that didn’t require verbal confirmation? That’s become the discussion here. And if you ever did act on body language signals from the other person on a date without verbal confirmation— were you wrong to?

Clearly, I feel there’s an inversely toxic, virtue signaling saturated, hardcore feminist #MeToo trendy fad here, where people pretend that if men lead they are abusive to or ignorant of women. But it’s not the Harvey Weinstein kind of #MeToo; it’s the Aziz Ansari kind. Google if you’re unfamiliar, but it’s shorthand for MeToo taken way too far, to the point ordinary people call BS. To argue that body language cannot communicate anything is to me a form of PC, woke madness that does real damage to the minority who believe it, (understanding that some who espouse it, don’t even actually believe it.)

You made this post thinking you were going to get a "Alright, you go ahead good for you!" And it completely backfired on you.

MrMacphisto · May 28, 2022

brotherted said:
I’ve actually not been on this site since I last posted in this thread, and I’ll admit I was anticipating a worse degree of “all guys need to ask permission at least three times before each area touched, otherwise they’re toxically masculine and bordering on sexual offender status, regardless of the body language she’s putting out — and anyone who questions the thrice permission rule is outing their own rapiness” narrative… than what materialized. So I’m pleased to see less of a hysterical reaction than I anticipated.

But I can’t help but wonder… have any of the critical posters here ever had sex on a first date? Or more pertinent, have you ever read body language signals from another person on a date that didn’t require verbal confirmation? That’s become the discussion here. And if you ever did act on body language signals from the other person on a date without verbal confirmation— were you wrong to?

Clearly, I feel there’s an inversely toxic, virtue signaling saturated, hardcore feminist #MeToo trendy fad here, where people pretend that if men lead they are abusive to or ignorant of women. But it’s not the Harvey Weinstein kind of #MeToo; it’s the Aziz Ansari kind. Google if you’re unfamiliar, but it’s shorthand for MeToo taken way too far, to the point ordinary people call BS. To argue that body language cannot communicate anything is to me a form of PC, woke madness that does real damage to the minority who believe it, (understanding that some who espouse it, don’t even actually believe it.)

I've had sex on a first date, although it's not a practice I engage in anymore. College dating tends to move faster than dating outside of college for a lot of reasons. Granted, this was back in the late 90s and early 00s, so times may have changed since then.

Looking back on it, I don't think I would've moved so fast had I really thought about the potential consequences. There were occasions where I was drunk and she was too, so consent can be ambiguous (both for me and her). And whether people want to admit it or not, there are occasions where someone claims abuse when it's really just "buyer's remorse."

When getting to know someone, intimacy is best to engage in only when you're sober and when the other person is as well. That way, no one can reasonably go back and say "you took advantage of me."

All that aside, body language is certainly part of the equation. People talk about "reading the room" when it comes to social situations, and the dating equivalent is picking up the vibe of the other person. It's not something that comes natural for everyone, so it often requires some experience to really accurately read. I know it took me some time to get good at it.

I get what you mean about the MeToo thing, although Ansari really just comes across as a creeper. I never really cared for him as a comedian anyway. But I agree that some people get defamed by the movement for the wrong reasons (like Amber Heard's litany of lies against Johnny Depp).

-Venom- · May 28, 2022

What happens in the spur of the moment is irrelevant to the original post, the question you should be asking is "did any of you think of an elaborate plan to have sex on the first date", in which case yes, that' is wrong.

Spur of the moment impulses that are mutual is not the same as one person planning to do something that they have no idea if the other person will like just to satisfy their own needs, that's selfish and disrespectful in my opinion. If your opinion is different, fair enough but you come across like you're looking down on and talking down on anyone that disagrees with you. It comes across like you're looking for justification from everyone who comments and that's something you won't get. There is no #MeToo thing about this at all, there's absolutely nothing of the sort coming from anyone who disagrees with you, that just comes across like you're trying to make everyone who disagrees with you look like they have some sort of agenda when that isn't the case.

To me (and I stress that it is personally TO ME, I by no means speak for anyone else who disagreed), pre planning anything like that is just being selfish to your own needs and not showing any respect to the date, it's like she's an object to fulfill you fantasy rather than a human being. That's how it looks to me, that's how it feels to me (again, I'm gonna stress that this is MY opinion on the situation). I have never, not once pre planned anything on the first date, I have not once ever thought about pre planning sex or fetish stuff on the first date. If it happens, it happens, if it doesn't, it doesn't, I'm just more concerned about things going well for both of us than anything else that could come later on

TheMasterTouch · May 28, 2022

I have a daughter, so of course I worry about her safety. I worry about things that could happen to her when she starts dating. I hope she never gets into an abusive relationship, never experiences a sexual assault, and so on.

At the same time, I also worry about what's happening to our young men. When things have progressed (regressed, in my view) to the point where a man feels guilty about getting on an elevator or a subway car alone with a woman, that's bad! Equally bad is when a man fears getting on that elevator or subway car because he realizes she can accuse him of doing something even if nothing happens. Even if he can prove nothing happened, he can still be ostracized and shamed to the point of losing his job, being kicked out of college, or worse. "Guilty even if proven innocent" is often the standard in the Court of Popular Opinion.

The process of socialization used to allow some leeway for people to have some awkward interactions without completely destroying the offending person's life. Now, we try to create "rules" for almost every human interaction. These "rules" are often created by the most hypersensitive people or people who have been through an unhealed psychological trauma. This leads to "rules" that are rather inflexible and have severe consequences for each violation.

My primary issues with these "rules" is that people aren't learning how to navigate awkward and uncomfortable situations. Learning how to read and interpret another person's body language and nonverbal communication is an important skill to have. Many of the "rules" we have now are preventing people from acquiring that knowledge. I remember how socially awkward I was in my 20s, and I wonder how I'd fare if I were coming of age in these times.

Wolf · May 28, 2022

TheMasterTouch said:
I have a daughter, so of course I worry about her safety. I worry about things that could happen to her when she starts dating. I hope she never gets into an abusive relationship, never experiences a sexual assault, and so on.

At the same time, I also worry about what's happening to our young men. When things have progressed (regressed, in my view) to the point where a man feels guilty about getting on an elevator or a subway car alone with a woman, that's bad! Equally bad is when a man fears getting on that elevator or subway car because he realizes she can accuse him of doing something even if nothing happens. Even if he can prove nothing happened, he can still be ostracized and shamed to the point of losing his job, being kicked out of college, or worse. "Guilty even if proven innocent" is often the standard in the Court of Popular Opinion.

The process of socialization used to allow some leeway for people to have some awkward interactions without completely destroying the offending person's life. Now, we try to create "rules" for almost every human interaction. These "rules" are often created by the most hypersensitive people or people who have been through an unhealed psychological trauma. This leads to "rules" that are rather inflexible and have severe consequences for each violation.

My primary issues with these "rules" is that people aren't learning how to navigate awkward and uncomfortable situations. Learning how to read and interpret another person's body language and nonverbal communication is an important skill to have. Many of the "rules" we have now are preventing people from acquiring that knowledge. I remember how socially awkward I was in my 20s, and I wonder how I'd fare if I were coming of age in these times.

So, you're worried more about young men you've never met, than your own daughter? You don't actually think the balance of power in our society is skewed towards women, do you?

MrMacphisto · May 28, 2022

Wolf said:
So, you're worried more about young men you've never met, than your own daughter? You don't actually think the balance of power in our society is skewed towards women, do you?

I can't speak for him, but yes, it is skewed toward women on certain things. Family court very much favors women. Allegations of abuse also routinely favor women over men, since allegations against men are generally taken more seriously than allegations against women. Yet another is child support. A woman currently has the final say on both abortion and child support, with the man at her mercy regarding both custody and wage garnishment. He gets no say in whether the child is born and (depending on the state) very little say on custody rights, regardless of whether his wages are affected or not.

These aren't the only examples either. Now, there are other aspects of society that favor men, but it's clearly not as "patriarchal" as feminists claim, at least in the West.

Now, if you want to discuss non-Western societies, that's another can of worms.

Wolf · May 28, 2022

MrMacphisto said:
I can't speak for him, but yes, it is skewed toward women on certain things. Family court very much favors women. Allegations of abuse also routinely favor women over men, since allegations against men are generally taken more seriously than allegations against women. Yet another is child support. A woman currently has the final say on both abortion and child support, with the man at her mercy regarding both custody and wage garnishment. He gets no say in whether the child is born and (depending on the state) very little say on custody rights, regardless of whether his wages are affected or not.

EDIT: Ya know what? Nevermind.
I knew this is what this thread was all about, anyway.

MrMacphisto · May 28, 2022

Acknowledging that the patriarchy narrative isn't accurate isn't a bad thing.

Libertine · May 28, 2022

'Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth'
-Mike Tyson

I recall thousands of years ago in 1973 when I was 17 and living in Toronto having THE Perfect Casanovic Plan for when Tina the Tall Perfect Blonde was going to come over. as per our arrangement The atmosphere was perfect, my room was tidy for a change; best of all both parents were at work and would be for a few hours.

I had a stack of Mood Music ready on the spindle of my ultramodern Lloyds record changer ranging from Celtic harp to Genesis

because in those days, children, one had to seduce in twenty minute segments, that being the time one side of a record took to play, and certain stages had to be reached before each album was flipped if any romantic progress was to be made without breaking the flow or spoiling the mood.

I had a chunk of hash, which cost me an exorbitant $5.00 and a little brass pipe I'd bought from a head shop called Jumpin' Jack Flash for three bucks. As my allowance was $2.00 a week and I couldn't find a job, all of this represented a considerable investment and a lot of forward planning. My thick, ringleted lower chest-length hair was freshly washed and I was in my most fashionable shredded jeans.

And of course I desperately wanted to tickle her but since I was the only person on earth who had ever suffered from this bizarre, completely unheard of fetish, out of purest decency I wasn't even going to try, or even mention it.

Everything was in place for a wild afternoon of snogging, and maybe even copping a feel(!)

I was poised, catlike for that knock at the door...

Except she never turned up.

rally · May 29, 2022

AlBundyIsMyHero said:
You made this post thinking you were going to get a "Alright, you go ahead good for you!" And it completely backfired on you.

To the contrary, it seems like his post was made with the intention of getting scolded so he could ramble about "#MeToo trendy fads" and "woke madness". When it didn't happen to the degree that he was aiming for, he decided to do it anyway.

Wolf · May 29, 2022

rally said:
To the contrary, it seems like his post was made with the intention of getting scolded so he could ramble about "#MeToo trendy fads" and "woke madness". When it didn't happen to the degree that he was aiming for, he decided to do it anyway.

It’s no fun being edgy if no one wants to argue about it.

TheMasterTouch · May 29, 2022

Wolf said:
So, you're worried more about young men you've never met, than your own daughter? You don't actually think the balance of power in our society is skewed towards women, do you?

If you think the balance of power is skewed towards men, go sit in at your local "family" court sometime. Ask yourself why Johnny Depp has to spend millions of dollars suing Amber Heard over her defamatory statements. Why did he lose his signature role before any of the facts were known? The red pill community called bullshit on her story from the get go.

My love for my daughter doesn't mean I disregard facts, logic and evidence. If she told me that something happened to her, of course I'm going to support her and believe her. But I'm also going review and listen to facts and evidence. If the facts and evidence tell a different story, or cast doubt on her story, I'm going with the evidence. That's the only way society can function.

Wolf · May 29, 2022

TheMasterTouch said:
If you think the balance of power is skewed towards men, go sit in at your local "family" court sometime. Ask yourself why Johnny Depp has to spend millions of dollars suing Amber Heard over her defamatory statements. Why did he lose his signature role before any of the facts were known? The red pill community called bullshit on her story from the get go.

My love for my daughter doesn't mean I disregard facts, logic and evidence. If she told me that something happened to her, of course I'm going to support her and believe her. But I'm also going review and listen to facts and evidence. If the facts and evidence tell a different story, or cast doubt on her story, I'm going with the evidence. That's the only way society can function.

Wow. Okay.
I’m more inclined to take my adult child’s word over something that might “cast doubt” on their “story”, because I trust them (even if they are a woman), and I would take their word over some rando’s. If my child tells me someone hurt them, It would take pretty strong evidence to convince me otherwise. It’s stunning to think that if someone raped your daughter, that they would be lucky to have her father on the jury.

Comfort Eagle · May 29, 2022

I think the public education needs to have mandatory "How the fuck to behave" classes before people are allowed to graduate.

primetime · May 29, 2022

brotherted said:
If things are going well, which means we establish a joking, teasing conversational flow and repartee, I'll take a break at some point and either go to the bathroom or go to get more drinks... and when I return, I'll apply my initial, patented, split second, one index finger unexpectedly into each of her sides move.

If I get: "Why did you do that? I hate to be tickled?" I'll just shrug, charmingly say it was an accident with a grin, and move on.
If I get a positive reaction, I'll say with the same grin, "Obviously you feel guilty about something, and I'm sure to get it out of you somehow."
If I get no reaction at all, I'll think, "Ugh."

Thoughts?

Just throwing my two cents in here after reading all these responses. Let me ask folks this. Did anyone read that very first part of the OP's post? He put a caveat to his desire to tickle his date. He said IF things are going well and they establish a fun type of conversational flow, he might try to sneak in a tickle. So, he is not saying he will tickle her no matter how the date is going. He feels comfortable enough to even try it because the woman is giving off some kind of vibe for him to try.

I totally get why people would be concerned about the type of behavior the OP is doing. I get it. But, let's take it in context. If the date is going really well, they are having fun, they have chemistry, etc, for him to do a quick tickle is not exactly a crime. I read some of the responses about sex on a first date and how that is a "spur of the moment" type of deal compared to what the OP is wanting to do, which is premeditated. Um, not quite. If you wind up having sex on a first date, there is SOME kind of premeditation. For example, since we are all safe adults, how can someone have a condom on them (man or woman) without some kind of pre-planning? You know there is a possibility that sex could occur. "Not me! I don't think I will have sex on the first date!" you might say. Good for you. Now, realize not everyone thinks this way, otherwise no one would be having sex on the first date. It all depends on the two people, how the date goes, and how they interact will determine if there is sex or not. Same with the OP wanting to tickle his date. If the date is not going well, or he is not vibing with her, I doubt he tickles her.

I think we all need to chill sometimes. Honestly, the OP did not say anything that was too weird. The very first sentence:

If things are going well, which means we establish a joking, teasing conversational flow and repartee

tells me his desire is conditional. I know people love to overreact to things if you don't give a full confession to the woman about your fetish, then have her and you fill out a 35 page contract detailing how the tickling will go and have it notarized, but it all depends on the situation between those two people. Can we give some benefit of the doubt? If the woman loves it, then what harm happened? If she gets pissed, then the OP will lose out. For me, I like to throw in the question to a first date to find out if they are ticklish or not, but that is just me and my style. I guess that makes me "creepy" too, because I planned to ask them if they are ticklish or not on the first date. It is about reading the situation. Not everyone will be able to read it correctly, but some will.

Just wanted to give a different perspective. Believe me, if the OP said "I am going to tickle my first date without her expecting it" and left it at that with zero context, i will be joining in with the rest of you and chastising him. But he literally wrote there would be some kind of rapport that was established that allowed him to even try it.

SugarSoaker · May 29, 2022

*shrug* OP said he was pleasantly surprised about how non-aggressive the replies were. I think we were all mostly in agreement that it’s okay to tickle/kiss/have sex with a first date if it’s going well. So what’s the problem?
1. The fact that OP was surprised by the lack of aggressive #metoo style accusations/replies which shows that this post was mostly created to cause a rise out of people. If that’s the case, Grow up.
2. We’re very used to posts that *are* geared towards “I’m going to tickle this unsuspecting person no matter what.” And people thinking it’s hot or cheering them on. So yeah, some of us have an overly aggressive knee-jerk reaction because posts like that are why very few females occupy this site anymore. Cue people complaining why no girls have this fetish (news flash: they do).
3. I still think the announcing on a fetish forum a plan to tickle someone is a little weird. And being a girl who is fine with a quick tickle from friends/dates/etc. I think the responses were a little weird, too. If someone tickled me, then claimed it was an “accident”, I would think that was a red flag more than the actual tickle. If you have the balls to give someone a quick non-consensual tickle (and like I said before- I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it if the chemistry is there), then have the balls to not claim it was an accident and use another reply or apology.
I dunno. Just my thoughts. You do you.

primetime · May 29, 2022

LishBabyBlues said:
*shrug* OP said he was pleasantly surprised about how non-aggressive the replies were. I think we were all mostly in agreement that it’s okay to tickle/kiss/have sex with a first date if it’s going well. So what’s the problem?
1. The fact that OP was surprised by the lack of aggressive #metoo style accusations/replies which shows that this post was mostly created to cause a rise out of people. If that’s the case, Grow up.
2. We’re very used to posts that *are* geared towards “I’m going to tickle this unsuspecting person no matter what.” And people thinking it’s hot or cheering them on. So yeah, some of us have an overly aggressive knee-jerk reaction because posts like that are why very few females occupy this site anymore. Cue people complaining why no girls have this fetish (news flash: they do).
3. I still think the announcing on a fetish forum a plan to tickle someone is a little weird. And being a girl who is fine with a quick tickle from friends/dates/etc. I think the responses were a little weird, too. If someone tickled me, then claimed it was an “accident”, I would think that was a red flag more than the actual tickle. If you have the balls to give someone a quick non-consensual tickle (and like I said before- I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it if the chemistry is there), then have the balls to not claim it was an accident and use another reply or apology.
I dunno. Just my thoughts. You do you.

That's the thing though. I didn't think his post was terrible. That's why i wanted to chime in. Then, as you read the responses, it is almost guaranteed you will have people saying that he shouldn't do it and it is wrong. Then the conversation veered over into sex/kissing/touching on a first date. We also had someone say they won't get on an elevator if there is just a single woman inside. The thing is, we tend to think tickling is something that if you do it without some kind of deep meaning conversation about what tickling means to you, then ANYTHING else is a horrible act. That is the impression some folks give. The OP even said it was a one second tickle. He is not saying "I'm going to tickle her until she feels like peeing her pants".

I think we need to take things into context and not always go to extremes so fast. I see that a lot in this discussion forum. We go from 0-60 in .00000001 seconds on these kind of topics. Again, if the post was, "I am going to go to a park, and tickle the feet of unsuspecting women as they lay there" then by all means, hammer that person. But if you are on a date, which means there is some form of interest on both sides and in the context of the date, things are going well, where there is obvious flirting, joking and the such, then giving a quick tickle may actually work. You don't need to say, "hey, I am going to tickle you right now. I will just do a quick poke. We are laughing and joking together and I just want to see you are ticklish. The reason is that I have this tickle fetish where I get sexually aroused by tickling people. I just wanted to let you know beforehand. May I have your permission?". You may giggle or shake your head over that summation, but in reality, that is how all this comes off every single time.

It is all about context and the individual situation. Like you said. You do you. The OP will do OP. Everyone else will do what they do.

rally · May 29, 2022

primetime said:
That's the thing though. I didn't think his post was terrible. That's why i wanted to chime in. Then, as you read the responses, it is almost guaranteed you will have people saying that he shouldn't do it and it is wrong. Then the conversation veered over into sex/kissing/touching on a first date. We also had someone say they won't get on an elevator if there is just a single woman inside. The thing is, we tend to think tickling is something that if you do it without some kind of deep meaning conversation about what tickling means to you, then ANYTHING else is a horrible act. That is the impression some folks give. The OP even said it was a one second tickle. He is not saying "I'm going to tickle her until she feels like peeing her pants".

I think we need to take things into context and not always go to extremes so fast. I see that a lot in this discussion forum. We go from 0-60 in .00000001 seconds on these kind of topics. Again, if the post was, "I am going to go to a park, and tickle the feet of unsuspecting women as they lay there" then by all means, hammer that person. But if you are on a date, which means there is some form of interest on both sides and in the context of the date, things are going well, where there is obvious flirting, joking and the such, then giving a quick tickle may actually work. You don't need to say, "hey, I am going to tickle you right now. I will just do a quick poke. We are laughing and joking together and I just want to see you are ticklish. The reason is that I have this tickle fetish where I get sexually aroused by tickling people. I just wanted to let you know beforehand. May I have your permission?". You may giggle or shake your head over that summation, but in reality, that is how all this comes off every single time.

It is all about context and the individual situation. Like you said. You do you. The OP will do OP. Everyone else will do what they do.

These are fair points, but my issue is with the intent of his post.

I will conditionally agree that light/playful tickling on a first date isn't necessarily inappropriate or weird. If we stick with the context though, as you've said, we need to pull the focus all the way back. On most first dates, something like this wouldn't necessarily be a red flag. For the context of someone who has a tickle fetish though, tickling is something that is (often) associated with sexual pleasure. The way that he came up with this elaborate road map on how to respond depending on HER response is where I had the first issue. It is a silent acknowledgement that this type of contact COULD be considered, by her, to be unwanted/inappropriate, and he was going into this with a set of eject buttons to deescalate if she had a negative response. Again, I'll agree that playfully poking your date on the side on a first date, CAN be considered acceptable depending on the tone/rapport/etc of the date. What makes me have a problem is his mindset in doing so. Whether or not MOST PEOPLE sneaking a quick tickle to someone who is not intimately familiar/comfortable around them could be considered inappropriate is debatable, but within the context of a tickle fetishist, it becomes something else.

My other issue is with the perceived intent of him posting about this at all. By his own admission, he made this post with the expectation that he was going to receive a largely negative response. His apparent need to make his "anti-woke" rant in his latest response only strengthens that perception. So I ask, what was the point? Just to get a rise out of everyone? To start an argument so that he could bust out his argument about allegations taken too far? It just strikes me as him trying to start some shit.

My first date strategy for tonight

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