I was inspired to write this one after watching a rerun of American Idol. Some ken doll lookalike called Katy Perry some not nice words after she wouldn't send him to Hollywood...
Chase’s long, gangly body stumbled out of the latrine after pissing out its sixth vodka and Red Bull. His college swimming buddy, David, sidestepped him.
“Feel better?” David asked.
“Screw off.” Chase ran his fingers through his sweaty, blonde hair and stretched.
“Two 25 year-olds…” his woozy tongue slurred, “two, two 25 year-old heter-a-sexall guys go to a Katy Perry concert.” He snickered. “Sounds like the first line of a joke. Two guys go to a Katy Perry show: a dumbass and a moron…”
David laughed. “Just think - you got three phone numbers.”
“One had no teeth, I think. And the blonde, looked like she used chewing tobacco.”
“Dude, you picked them. But I guess even a big, blonde stud like you won’t get any if you’re drooling on yourself.”
“We should have our man cards revoked, going to a Katy Perry concert to pick up chicks.”
David wrapped his arm around Chase’s shoulder and they plodded toward the exit, one relatively sober tall, dashing dude guiding his less sober, less-dashing bro toward the parking lot behind the arena. They’d paid for VIP parking, so the lot was much closer and monitored by security cameras. The path that led to the parking lot ran close to the stage. As they passed by, Chase stared at the crew feverishly cleaning up the lavish stage; California Gurls was the encore, so it was littered with bright confetti, massive beach balls painted like candy canes, and the now half-disassembled gingerbread house she’d emerged from before the song began. She wore a purple wig and milky white, skintight jumpsuit with bright gumdrop and lollipop polka dots. Ridiculous he thought.
“God, that was awful,” Chase blurted out. “She can’t sing, she dressed like a whore, and we got to hang out in a crowd full of screaming teenagers taking selfies for three hours.”
“I think she has a great voice.”
“Whatever.”
“You had something better to do?”
“Anything is better. I can’t even stand her songs. Not one.”
“I saw you lip-synching.” Chase pushed David away.
“No you didn’t.”
“Yes I did.” He pantomimed singing into a microphone.
“California girls, they’re undeniable… You probably sing that in the shower.”
“My ass. The bitch has no talent. None. And if she was right here, I’d tell her. I’d laugh right in her face.” David shook his head and rolled his eyes.
“Whatever you say.” He turned and rambled toward a row of bushes behind a nearby equipment shed.
“Where are you going?” Chase yelled.
“Gotta pee. I’ll be right back.”
Chase sighed and briskly rubbed his arms, just then realizing how unseasonably cold it was. The stage lights had dimmed, leaving him in near darkness but for the light towers that hulked over the parking lot. It was further away than he’d remembered. As he stood hugging himself, staring at the steam pouring from his mouth, powerful arms seized him from behind. A strong hand held a gas mask to his face, and after two breaths of a soothing, sweet air, he fainted.
*****
The first thing Chase noticed when he woke hours later was the mirror – a huge vanity mirror, surrounded by round, dim light bulbs, and the reflection of his mug was smack in the middle of it. An assortment of hairbrushes, mascara tubes, cotton pads, fashion magazines and other beauty items were scattered on a table before him. Must be a dressing room he thought. It wasn’t until he tried to turn around to inspect the room that he realized he was strapped firmly to what seemed like a portable home gym. His arms were yanked behind him, wrists duct-taped to a steel rod, and his ankles were taped to a rod suspended below the bench. Ropes around his waist, chest and thighs held him tightly against the machine. To his surprise, someone had removed his shoes. He wiggled his toes feverishly as if he believed this would magically release him from bondage.
“Help! Is anyone there?” he cried several times. No response. Suddenly, two hands covered his eyes. The hint of luscious perfume wafted from behind. When the hands lifted and the light returned, he was startled to find the reflection of Katy Perry’s beaming face next to his in the mirror.
“Hi there!” she said in a cheery voice. It was strange to actually hear it in person, up-close, like a fantasy character had come to life.
“Glad you’re awake.” She was wearing the white, candy-dappled jumpsuit and purple wig she’d worn on stage. Sparkling pink gloss lined her lips and her long fingernails were polished similarly. Two tall, athletic women sat on a couch at the far end of the small room. He recognized them as two of Katy’s dancers.
He’d always found Katy Perry hypocritical, with her innocent cotton-candy, merry-go-round vibe overwhelmed by her penchant to bare her cleavage like a medallion. Shit, her slutty outfit got her banned from Sesame Street. It didn’t get much worse than that. Still, up close in full makeup and costume, he had to admit that she was hot as fuck. No little boys had made the decision to ban her from Sesame Street for sure.
“What the hell is going on?” Chase said. “Where’s David?”
“Don’t worry about him,” Katy said. “He’s home. We told him you passed out drunk and that we’ll take you home when you wake up. A ride home from Katy Perry, he said. He’ll be tickled pink. We assured him you’d be tickled pink for sure.”
“Right, you tied me up in your dressing room. I’m having a great time.”
Katy knelt down next to him. The tight suit and sweet perfume caused his hands to involuntarily clench as he imagined grabbing her delicious body and pressing against her.
“Chase, you talk some great smack,” Katy said. “Let’s see… I’m a whore, have no talent, can’t sing, probably look like shit without make-up…”
“You heard that?”
“Oh, and much more. Serves you right for mouthing off right next to the stage. I don’t think you can remember half of what you said. But I do. And it really hurt - after a long show, millions of dollars into it, weeks of rehearsal, hours of wardrobe… and that’s the last thing I hear before leaving the arena. I decided to stick around for a while and see if I could put a smile on the face of this unhappy fan.”
She beckoned toward the two women. They approached, and one of them placed a stack of $100 bills on the mantle.
“We’re going to have a bet. So, you told your friend you don’t know any of my songs? I think you’re a liar.”
She pointed at the money.
“That’s $10,000. All you need to do is correctly sing one full chorus of any of my songs. I’ll give you 15 minutes so you can start over if you screw up. Do it, the money is yours.”
She leaned in again and pressed her cheek against his, gazing into the mirror.
God, being tied up next to Katy Perry in a skintight jumpsuit…. An erection grew in his boxer shorts faster than it took to fill a balloon attached to a helium tank on full blast.
“Your friend said you’d be tickled pink to meet me. Wouldn’t $10,000 make you happy?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe.” Chase said, his voice charged with sarcasm. Moron. Does she think I haven’t heard the radio the past 10 years?
“And if I don’t?”
“You only get $200.” She batted her eyes like a fawning Hollywood starlet. “Not bad for a losing bet, huh? I told you I’d make you happy.”
“Why did you need to tie me up?”
“I needed to make sure you stayed to hear the proposal. You would’ve run out of here at 100 miles an hour if I hadn’t, don’t you agree. So… you up for this?”
This is too good to be true. 10 grand to sing four lines of a song.
“Of course.”
“Awesome. Remember, you’ve got 15 minutes. Ready? Go!”
Chase ran through the catalog of her songs in his mind, trying to think of which he knew best. Just as he began to mouth the words to the chorus of Roar, he burst into laughter at the shock of Katy’s arms underneath his shirt and long, pink fingernails dancing across his ribs.
“You didn’t-“ he managed to say before she dug into his armpits, causing every muscle in his body to tense against the bondage as he gushed laughter. “How am I supposed to-“
“Sing while I tickle the unholy crap out of you?” Katy answered. “You’ll figure it out, Chase. $10,000? I have full faith in you.” After a minute of his ticklish laughter, Katy let up. She giggled as she watched Chase suck wind.
“You didn’t think I’d make it that easy, did you?” she said. “And besides, I need to have some fun, too.” Her fingernails lightly scraped and scratched both sides of his neck, causing him to thrash around like a bobble-head doll. If I don’t laugh, I’ll have a chance, he thought. I just need 10 seconds to sing that stupid song.
“Ticklish ribs, ticklish neck… this will be fun. Now I know you are a liar. You were ready to sing your head off the moment the game began. For that you deserve this – “
All ten fingers poked and prodded at his ribs, chest, hips, vigorously massaging them, searching for the best place to make him crack. He tensed every muscle in his body to help from exploding into laughter. His face reddened and trembled trying to hold it in. Katy continued to poke and prod at him, keeping track of the spots that seemed weakest.
“Just give it up, Chase. You’re going to pull a muscle. Anyway, someone as ticklish as you can’t hold in in for long. As soon as you open your mouth you’ll crack. And when I find…”
Her fingers reached the tips of his nipples and he lost it.
“Hahahahahahhaha!!!” He thrashed, twisted, tried to tense up again, but it was like a dam had burst and he couldn’t hold it back.
“Gotcha!” she said, hovering over his nipples, switching back and forth between his agonizingly sensitive armpits and the even worse nipples.
“Now that you’ve got that big mouth open, try singing again. I’ll give you a head start. I’ll count to three…”
That’s enough time... He focused on the stack of cash right in front of him and started singing as fast as he could.
“I’ve got the eye of…“
“One-” Katy said, she held her index finger close to his nipple and wiggled it.”
“…the tiger, a fighter, dancing…”
“Two!” Katy said quickly and dug her fingers into his ribs.
“Hahahahahahahah... you said… hahahahaha… three“
“Surprise! You don’t like surprises, Chase?” Katy said and pressed her cheek against his while pressing every ticklish button on his ribs on the map she’d drawn in her mind.
“There will be plenty of surprises. They do suck, though, don’t they? Anticipation. You just never… know… when… or… where… the tickle fairy is going to creep up from behind and getcha!”
She blew into his ear while her fingers continued to make a mess of his hyper-ticklish ribs. The combination of the soft breeze on the tiny hairs in his ears and the skillful fingers clawing at his ribs was too much to bear. He closed his eyes and shook his head like a dog drying itself off, trying to get rid of the tickle in his ear while screaming with laughter. But the fingers, breaths, wayward strands of hair that brushed against him, did not relent, like little devils torturing him into surrender. He thought he might get used to it after a while, but if anything the tickling became more excruciating the longer it lasted.
“The ears are always a good one, Chase. Remember that if you ever get a girlfriend. They love it.”
Katy continued to tickle his ribs for what seemed like a year, finally pausing to give him a break. He’d been laughing so hard that he didn’t notice the two other women now stood next to him. One knelt down and began rubbing baby oil on the soles of his feet. The other held his head in place while Katy Perry slipped a blindfold over his eyes.
“All right, you’re really disappointing me, Chase. You obviously need some help. We both know you don’t need your eyes to sing. You only need to feel the music. I’m sure you can do that."
His heart raced in fear when he heard a rickety crank turning, pulling his arms high above his head. Someone made quick work of his t-shirt and jeans with a scissor, stripping him of the only flimsy flaps of protection from complete vulnerability.
Come on, now, Chase, feel it,” she said and wiggled her fingers just across the surface of the skin of his armpits. He grunted, trying to hold in the laughter but the tickling fingers continued to scrape, stroke, and tease his helpless body. He snorted like a pig trying to hold it in.
“What was that?” Katy said and laughed. “Are you a pig? Oink! Oink!” He knew he sounded ridiculous. Somehow knowing that he would have even laughed at himself was all it took for the tickling to get him laughing again. When a second set of nails began raking at his slippery heels he laughed so hard he thought he might vomit.
“Noooo!!!! Not.. hahahaha. Not –“
“Not enough,” Katy cut in. “I agree.”
A third set of fingernails wiggled around in his ears. Katy’s fingers finally let up on his ribs but immediately began spider-tickling both sides of his neck. He shook and thrashed his head trying to interrupt the tickling sensations that ran roughshod all over the most sensitive parts of his body.
Chase hadn’t considered himself very ticklish. Yes, once a babysitter pinned him to the kitchen floor and tickled him into a giggling mess when he called her a bitch. But since then, whenever someone had tried to tickle him it was more annoying than anything. Light tickles were no worse than a fly walking across his skin. When his ex-girlfriend dug her fingers into his ribs or armpits, it didn’t tickle, hurt, or anything really. Katy and her evil buddies obliterated his impression of himself. Every tiny touch scorched his nerves, even in places he’d never known could be ticklish. Katy’s dainty fingernails stroking him behind his ears made him thrash and howl as if on fire.
“My goodness, Amber,” Katy said. “I thought you said we got rid of the mosquitoes. He’s going to break his neck. If they won’t go away, at least you can keep him safe.”
The fingers on his feet stopped. He’d been so annoyed by the sensations on his head and neck that he’d forgotten how much his feet tickled. The split second of relief was overtaken by a pang of terror in his chest when he heard the ripping sound of Amber breaking off a piece of duct tape. She pinned his head to the bench with the tape. Unable to move his head now, the tickling on his neck, ears, cheeks, nostrils, eyelids became excruciating. Clever fingernails even tickled the insides of his lips as he laughed, making him want to stop that much more.
“Concentrate, Chase. Time’s a wastin’”
“How…..much….?”
“Only 10 more minutes, Chase. You got this!” The fingernails on his face and neck stopped. Even though Amber had developed an excellent technique for tickling his feet to maximum effect, he could hold back for a few split seconds every so often before weakening into another paroxysm of laughter. Katy Perry removed the blindfold and faced Chase directly, smiling, inches from his sweaty, panting mug.
“Having fun yet?” she said. She tickled his ribs in quick, irregular bursts and continued smiling at him.
“Round and round, the fingers go, where they stop…” she teased as she kept his tense body guessing, giggling and snickering with every stroke and poke. This technique was almost worse – just when he thought he could breathe, a light fingernail stroke or a grope in the right place broke him. It was like hyper-ventilating laughter.
“$10,000 Chase, you got this. In fact… Tricia. Put another $10k on there.” Tricia returned with another stack of bills.
“There’s a little more incentive. But that much, Chase, requires a bit more work on our part, too.” Katy motioned for Tricia to join again. She returned with two long, soft feathers and stroked his nipples while Katy circled a single finger in his ear, as if pondering what to do next. The feathers and Amber’s fingernails, scratching at the most sensitive parts of his toes with expert precision, overwhelmed him. He laughed so hard he thought his heart would burst. His face became bright red and tears streamed down his cheeks. His wrists hurt from trying to break free, they’d they’d used enough tape to pin down a gorilla. He wasn’t going anywhere.
Through all of this, Chase noticed that he had a more solid erection than he could remember. His penis buzzed with so much ecstatic tension; he thought a single stroke across the shaft would cause him to explode. As if she could read his thoughts, Katy began to slowly stroke the base of his scrotum with a single finger.
“Kitchy koo on your little pee-pee. You must be very happy, Chase. I mean, if someone gave you the opportunity to have Katy Perry tickle your balls, you’d probably pay them $20,000.”
“Let me go!” He managed to scream between fits of laughter. “I can’t take any more. STOP!!!” he yelled until Amber’s fingernails dancing on his slippery heels thrust him into howling laughter again. Katy smirked and tapped him on the tip of his nose.
“Someone is breaking down,” she said. She motioned for Tricia and Amber to stop. Chase, dripping with sweat, slumped over and tried to catch his breath. It was difficult to keep from blubbering like a little girl. Any more tickling may have had him in full tears. Katy stroked his cheek with the back of her hand.
“Poor little Chasey, Wasey,” she teased. “Only five minutes to go and he gave up. Little pussy, wussy, Chasey Wasey.” She tickled him under his chin with her index finger. What normally would have been a pleasant tease now felt like someone slicing his neck open.
“I’ll tell you what: you get a choice. I’ll let Amber tickle that little cock of yours until you cum so hard it takes you a week to think straight. Then we untie you and you get to go free with the story of your life. Or, you can hang on a little longer for the cash. Because I know you sure as hell can’t stop laughing for 10 measly seconds to sing, the normal rules are out. So I’ll change them. If you let us tickle you for 10 straight minutes, I’ll give you $20,000 anyway. But we won’t go easy on you this time.”
“God, how much worse can it get?” he said out loud to himself.
The three women smiled at each other, and his head hung like a deflated balloon. He shuddered and shook thinking about those awful hands and feathers all over him. Just imagining them almost made him laugh. All three girls turned to each other and giggled.
“If you have to ask, you don’t want to know. Honestly, I think you may have a heart attack. I heard someone died from tickle torture once.”
Amber relaxed against the mantel, the bottle of baby oil inches from her long fingers. She was the hottest woman he’d ever seen, and with one word he could summon those luscious fingers to close around his cock and release him from the most aching sexual tension he’d ever felt. They’d also end the tickle torture. He truly wasn’t sure if another 10 minutes of it would cause him to shit himself or pass out. Katy was right. He had heard stories about people dying from tickle torture in Ancient China. He didn’t want to go out strapped to a chair, covered in shit, heart attack caused by laughing. Pathetic!
“I can’t take any more tickling,” he said. “Can I, umm, Amber instead?”
“Of course,” Katy said. “But I must say I’m disappointed.”
Without a word, Amber crept toward him, lowered his shorts and slathered baby oil on his chest, thighs, back… every surface of his body except his face.
“I can see you wondering why I’m doing that,” she said. Her voice was like the warm hum of a vibrating massage chair. "I want you to enjoy this. I know how hard it was to give up that much money. You deserve it.”
He gazed into her bottomless green eyes, powerless to look away.
“Well, it wasn’t that hard,” he stammered.
She smiled at his overwhelmed, trembling voice.
“You’re cute. Mind if I kiss you?”
“Ummm, not at all.”
She closed in and nibbled at the top of his neck, just below his ear. Her hands caressed his shoulders and back while she massaged his exposed chest with her breasts. He couldn’t believe how the slightest difference in touch on the same body parts could turn from unbearable agony to ungodly pleasure. After teasing him to near madness, her nimble fingers trickled down his body like syrup and wrapped around his cock. The slippery, soft pads on her palms and gentle fingertips were too much to bear: he climaxed seconds after she began stroking it.
“That was quick!” Katy said. “Looks like someone’s been deprived for a loooong time. Was that your first time?”
“What? No. Can you let me out now?”
“Almost,” she said. She smirked and began circling him.
“Well, if it’s not your first time, then you’ll understand this: you know how after an orgasm, your penis gets super-sensitive? So sensitive it actually hurts to touch it?”
Chase fidgeted. Something’s not right.
“Do you know why that happens? For your protection. It’s Mother Nature’s way of telling your body you’ve had enough.” After circling him once, she stopped and faced him again.
“But did you ever notice how all parts of your body get hyper-sensitive? I’ve always wondered why. Is it a safety net? Just in case your dick isn’t loud enough, the rest of your body needs to warn you that you’re not ready for another round in the sack?”
“I don’t care,” Chase stammered. “Just friggin’ untie me already.”
Katy continued talking, as if she didn’t notice his voice. She reached out and scratched a weak spot on his ribs, chest, belly, hips, neck… then sliding her fingertip over his now oily and super-sensitive nipple. He gulped to suppress the growing urge to laugh. Even a quick stroke on his nipple seemed enough to get him started again.
“God is so brilliant, he even made your nipples warn you that you need protection after you orgasm. The problem is, Chase, I’ve got you tied up here, buddy. And that means you can feel all the warnings with no protection.”
He began to thrash like a maniac. “This is bullshit. You told me you’d let me go.”
“That’s another problem with being tied up. Someone can lie right to your face and there’s nothing you can do about it.” She seized his chin like a mother shushing her child and drew in close.
“I’ve been nice to you so far.” She squeezed harder. Something about the sudden aggression caused every muscle in his body to scream for escape. They knew a foreign force was about to inflict some kind of terrible pain on his defenseless body. The lack of a smile on her face made it worse. For the first time, he was truly afraid, even horrified.
“But you do need to be punished. Remember how you said I’m a moron… a piece of shit, and that you’ll tell your friends to tell their friends that my shows are overrated, a waste of money… that you’d laugh right in my pathetic face if you saw me. Well, you definitely are going to laugh in my face right now.”
“Please, Katy, I’m so sorry. I was drunk. You’re right. I know all your songs. I loved the show. I’m just… I’m…“
“Too afraid to admit it? I know. I hear it from little brats like you all the time.”
The three women closed in on him. “You’re still going to get your reward, though. Only 20 more minutes of this and you’re home free!”
His eyes bulged out and every toe and finger on his body involuntarily quivered with fear.
“You said 10 minutes.”
Katy giggled and set the timer on a smartphone.
“You’re right, just kidding.” The timer beeped.
“Surprise!!!”
The next ten minutes of Chase’s life was a complete blank. The three women, now fully educated in every ticklish spot on his body, destroyed and humiliated him, teasing and taunting him the entire time. The heightened sensitivity and body oil made the tickling so much more excruciating. Amber worked on his feet with her long delicate fingers, dancing them across his arches, heels, and between each toe. When he clenched them closed, she punished him by dragging a hairbrush across his soles and taunting him.
“I’ll stop if you open up those shy, ticklish little toes,” she would say. Even though his toes were just as ticklish, he had to let her in because the brush was too much.
“I’ll stop ticking there if you stop trying to grab my fingers with your toes,” she would then say. Now she wasn’t just physically dominating him, she was messing with his head. At first it pissed him off, but her incessant, skillful tickling destroyed his will to fight. The power of the defeated frustration administered by such an attractive woman made him want to cry. Why couldn't she just tease and hold me again, he thought. No man deserves this.
Tricia took care of his upper body. She was the best tickler, and he learned this was because she was an experienced massage therapist. She was relentless, offering him no breaks for the full 10 minutes. She realized it drove him most insane when switching from the unbearably annoying light underarm tickles with wiggling fingers to kneading his ribs and hips, with spider tickles on the belly in between. She always used two hands, and made sure each side of its body got its fair share.
But it was Katy who drove him insane. She had the pleasure of working on his hips, legs and inner thighs. Every squeeze anywhere in his groin area was like a lightning bolt from her fingertips into his brain. He wasn’t sure how many times he screamed for her to stop, but he did know he was hoarse for days afterward. He remembered the consistent desire for them to slap or punch or whack him with a crowbar instead – anything but the incessant tickling. The torture got him to say some pretty wild things:
“Katy, kick me in the balls,” he shrieked as her fingernails stroked the insides of his thighs.
“What?”
“Punish me like … hahahahahahaha … that. Anything….”
“Amber, he wants me to kick him in the balls as punishment,” she said, giggling.
“I heard. That would hurt too much. Why don’t you just tickle him instead?”
“Why didn’t I think of that?” Katy replied and went back to work on his thighs, causing him to thrash and scream. At one point they all had him laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe.
“God, make it stop! Please.” he managed to shriek before howling and coughing. Katy laughed.
“God’s not here right now, buddy. Just us gals. We’re your goddesses until we decide to stop.”
“Talking to God,” Tricia said. “I don’t think he’s thinking clearly.”
“You’re right. We don’t want to kill Chasey wasey. Almost done. Let’s give him a great encore.”
By the time the timer beeped, Chase was sobbing. He felt violated, humiliated. He could still feel their devilish fingers poking and scratching him minutes after they’d stopped. Katy placed her hand under his chin and coaxed his drooping head up so she could face him. She wiped the tears from his cheeks.
“We’re finally done, Chase, though I know you secretly loved every minute of it.”
He burst into tears. “I never want to see you again!”
“It’s ok to cry, Chasey Wasey. Get all the bad feelings out. Boo hoo, go on.”
“I never want to see you again,” he wailed again in a pathetic, pouty voice, as if he wasn’t aware he already said it.
After a minute or so, he composed himself. “Now, about the money…” he said. Through all the tickling, he didn’t notice that it was gone. Katy opened a drawer and removed from it two tickets and backstage passes on lanyards striped like candy canes.
“What the hell is that?”
“Two tickets for front row seats and backstage passes to my next show!” she said. Tricia arrived with sweatpants and a Katy Perry 2022 Tour t-shirt. Katy put the tickets and passes into his sweatpants.His face deadened and his eyes sank, as if he’d aged fifty years. “What about the money?”
“Are you kidding me? Two front row seats and backstage passes to my Vegas tour stop. And clothes signed by me. They are charging well over $20k for that.”
She kissed him on the cheek and stroked his chin one last time. Amber rolled a cart into the room. Atop it was a gas tank. She held his head still while Katy forced a mask over his nose and mouth.
“See you soon, Chasey wasey!” she said as he blacked out.
Chase’s long, gangly body stumbled out of the latrine after pissing out its sixth vodka and Red Bull. His college swimming buddy, David, sidestepped him.
“Feel better?” David asked.
“Screw off.” Chase ran his fingers through his sweaty, blonde hair and stretched.
“Two 25 year-olds…” his woozy tongue slurred, “two, two 25 year-old heter-a-sexall guys go to a Katy Perry concert.” He snickered. “Sounds like the first line of a joke. Two guys go to a Katy Perry show: a dumbass and a moron…”
David laughed. “Just think - you got three phone numbers.”
“One had no teeth, I think. And the blonde, looked like she used chewing tobacco.”
“Dude, you picked them. But I guess even a big, blonde stud like you won’t get any if you’re drooling on yourself.”
“We should have our man cards revoked, going to a Katy Perry concert to pick up chicks.”
David wrapped his arm around Chase’s shoulder and they plodded toward the exit, one relatively sober tall, dashing dude guiding his less sober, less-dashing bro toward the parking lot behind the arena. They’d paid for VIP parking, so the lot was much closer and monitored by security cameras. The path that led to the parking lot ran close to the stage. As they passed by, Chase stared at the crew feverishly cleaning up the lavish stage; California Gurls was the encore, so it was littered with bright confetti, massive beach balls painted like candy canes, and the now half-disassembled gingerbread house she’d emerged from before the song began. She wore a purple wig and milky white, skintight jumpsuit with bright gumdrop and lollipop polka dots. Ridiculous he thought.
“God, that was awful,” Chase blurted out. “She can’t sing, she dressed like a whore, and we got to hang out in a crowd full of screaming teenagers taking selfies for three hours.”
“I think she has a great voice.”
“Whatever.”
“You had something better to do?”
“Anything is better. I can’t even stand her songs. Not one.”
“I saw you lip-synching.” Chase pushed David away.
“No you didn’t.”
“Yes I did.” He pantomimed singing into a microphone.
“California girls, they’re undeniable… You probably sing that in the shower.”
“My ass. The bitch has no talent. None. And if she was right here, I’d tell her. I’d laugh right in her face.” David shook his head and rolled his eyes.
“Whatever you say.” He turned and rambled toward a row of bushes behind a nearby equipment shed.
“Where are you going?” Chase yelled.
“Gotta pee. I’ll be right back.”
Chase sighed and briskly rubbed his arms, just then realizing how unseasonably cold it was. The stage lights had dimmed, leaving him in near darkness but for the light towers that hulked over the parking lot. It was further away than he’d remembered. As he stood hugging himself, staring at the steam pouring from his mouth, powerful arms seized him from behind. A strong hand held a gas mask to his face, and after two breaths of a soothing, sweet air, he fainted.
*****
The first thing Chase noticed when he woke hours later was the mirror – a huge vanity mirror, surrounded by round, dim light bulbs, and the reflection of his mug was smack in the middle of it. An assortment of hairbrushes, mascara tubes, cotton pads, fashion magazines and other beauty items were scattered on a table before him. Must be a dressing room he thought. It wasn’t until he tried to turn around to inspect the room that he realized he was strapped firmly to what seemed like a portable home gym. His arms were yanked behind him, wrists duct-taped to a steel rod, and his ankles were taped to a rod suspended below the bench. Ropes around his waist, chest and thighs held him tightly against the machine. To his surprise, someone had removed his shoes. He wiggled his toes feverishly as if he believed this would magically release him from bondage.
“Help! Is anyone there?” he cried several times. No response. Suddenly, two hands covered his eyes. The hint of luscious perfume wafted from behind. When the hands lifted and the light returned, he was startled to find the reflection of Katy Perry’s beaming face next to his in the mirror.
“Hi there!” she said in a cheery voice. It was strange to actually hear it in person, up-close, like a fantasy character had come to life.
“Glad you’re awake.” She was wearing the white, candy-dappled jumpsuit and purple wig she’d worn on stage. Sparkling pink gloss lined her lips and her long fingernails were polished similarly. Two tall, athletic women sat on a couch at the far end of the small room. He recognized them as two of Katy’s dancers.
He’d always found Katy Perry hypocritical, with her innocent cotton-candy, merry-go-round vibe overwhelmed by her penchant to bare her cleavage like a medallion. Shit, her slutty outfit got her banned from Sesame Street. It didn’t get much worse than that. Still, up close in full makeup and costume, he had to admit that she was hot as fuck. No little boys had made the decision to ban her from Sesame Street for sure.
“What the hell is going on?” Chase said. “Where’s David?”
“Don’t worry about him,” Katy said. “He’s home. We told him you passed out drunk and that we’ll take you home when you wake up. A ride home from Katy Perry, he said. He’ll be tickled pink. We assured him you’d be tickled pink for sure.”
“Right, you tied me up in your dressing room. I’m having a great time.”
Katy knelt down next to him. The tight suit and sweet perfume caused his hands to involuntarily clench as he imagined grabbing her delicious body and pressing against her.
“Chase, you talk some great smack,” Katy said. “Let’s see… I’m a whore, have no talent, can’t sing, probably look like shit without make-up…”
“You heard that?”
“Oh, and much more. Serves you right for mouthing off right next to the stage. I don’t think you can remember half of what you said. But I do. And it really hurt - after a long show, millions of dollars into it, weeks of rehearsal, hours of wardrobe… and that’s the last thing I hear before leaving the arena. I decided to stick around for a while and see if I could put a smile on the face of this unhappy fan.”
She beckoned toward the two women. They approached, and one of them placed a stack of $100 bills on the mantle.
“We’re going to have a bet. So, you told your friend you don’t know any of my songs? I think you’re a liar.”
She pointed at the money.
“That’s $10,000. All you need to do is correctly sing one full chorus of any of my songs. I’ll give you 15 minutes so you can start over if you screw up. Do it, the money is yours.”
She leaned in again and pressed her cheek against his, gazing into the mirror.
God, being tied up next to Katy Perry in a skintight jumpsuit…. An erection grew in his boxer shorts faster than it took to fill a balloon attached to a helium tank on full blast.
“Your friend said you’d be tickled pink to meet me. Wouldn’t $10,000 make you happy?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe.” Chase said, his voice charged with sarcasm. Moron. Does she think I haven’t heard the radio the past 10 years?
“And if I don’t?”
“You only get $200.” She batted her eyes like a fawning Hollywood starlet. “Not bad for a losing bet, huh? I told you I’d make you happy.”
“Why did you need to tie me up?”
“I needed to make sure you stayed to hear the proposal. You would’ve run out of here at 100 miles an hour if I hadn’t, don’t you agree. So… you up for this?”
This is too good to be true. 10 grand to sing four lines of a song.
“Of course.”
“Awesome. Remember, you’ve got 15 minutes. Ready? Go!”
Chase ran through the catalog of her songs in his mind, trying to think of which he knew best. Just as he began to mouth the words to the chorus of Roar, he burst into laughter at the shock of Katy’s arms underneath his shirt and long, pink fingernails dancing across his ribs.
“You didn’t-“ he managed to say before she dug into his armpits, causing every muscle in his body to tense against the bondage as he gushed laughter. “How am I supposed to-“
“Sing while I tickle the unholy crap out of you?” Katy answered. “You’ll figure it out, Chase. $10,000? I have full faith in you.” After a minute of his ticklish laughter, Katy let up. She giggled as she watched Chase suck wind.
“You didn’t think I’d make it that easy, did you?” she said. “And besides, I need to have some fun, too.” Her fingernails lightly scraped and scratched both sides of his neck, causing him to thrash around like a bobble-head doll. If I don’t laugh, I’ll have a chance, he thought. I just need 10 seconds to sing that stupid song.
“Ticklish ribs, ticklish neck… this will be fun. Now I know you are a liar. You were ready to sing your head off the moment the game began. For that you deserve this – “
All ten fingers poked and prodded at his ribs, chest, hips, vigorously massaging them, searching for the best place to make him crack. He tensed every muscle in his body to help from exploding into laughter. His face reddened and trembled trying to hold it in. Katy continued to poke and prod at him, keeping track of the spots that seemed weakest.
“Just give it up, Chase. You’re going to pull a muscle. Anyway, someone as ticklish as you can’t hold in in for long. As soon as you open your mouth you’ll crack. And when I find…”
Her fingers reached the tips of his nipples and he lost it.
“Hahahahahahhaha!!!” He thrashed, twisted, tried to tense up again, but it was like a dam had burst and he couldn’t hold it back.
“Gotcha!” she said, hovering over his nipples, switching back and forth between his agonizingly sensitive armpits and the even worse nipples.
“Now that you’ve got that big mouth open, try singing again. I’ll give you a head start. I’ll count to three…”
That’s enough time... He focused on the stack of cash right in front of him and started singing as fast as he could.
“I’ve got the eye of…“
“One-” Katy said, she held her index finger close to his nipple and wiggled it.”
“…the tiger, a fighter, dancing…”
“Two!” Katy said quickly and dug her fingers into his ribs.
“Hahahahahahahah... you said… hahahahaha… three“
“Surprise! You don’t like surprises, Chase?” Katy said and pressed her cheek against his while pressing every ticklish button on his ribs on the map she’d drawn in her mind.
“There will be plenty of surprises. They do suck, though, don’t they? Anticipation. You just never… know… when… or… where… the tickle fairy is going to creep up from behind and getcha!”
She blew into his ear while her fingers continued to make a mess of his hyper-ticklish ribs. The combination of the soft breeze on the tiny hairs in his ears and the skillful fingers clawing at his ribs was too much to bear. He closed his eyes and shook his head like a dog drying itself off, trying to get rid of the tickle in his ear while screaming with laughter. But the fingers, breaths, wayward strands of hair that brushed against him, did not relent, like little devils torturing him into surrender. He thought he might get used to it after a while, but if anything the tickling became more excruciating the longer it lasted.
“The ears are always a good one, Chase. Remember that if you ever get a girlfriend. They love it.”
Katy continued to tickle his ribs for what seemed like a year, finally pausing to give him a break. He’d been laughing so hard that he didn’t notice the two other women now stood next to him. One knelt down and began rubbing baby oil on the soles of his feet. The other held his head in place while Katy Perry slipped a blindfold over his eyes.
“All right, you’re really disappointing me, Chase. You obviously need some help. We both know you don’t need your eyes to sing. You only need to feel the music. I’m sure you can do that."
His heart raced in fear when he heard a rickety crank turning, pulling his arms high above his head. Someone made quick work of his t-shirt and jeans with a scissor, stripping him of the only flimsy flaps of protection from complete vulnerability.
Come on, now, Chase, feel it,” she said and wiggled her fingers just across the surface of the skin of his armpits. He grunted, trying to hold in the laughter but the tickling fingers continued to scrape, stroke, and tease his helpless body. He snorted like a pig trying to hold it in.
“What was that?” Katy said and laughed. “Are you a pig? Oink! Oink!” He knew he sounded ridiculous. Somehow knowing that he would have even laughed at himself was all it took for the tickling to get him laughing again. When a second set of nails began raking at his slippery heels he laughed so hard he thought he might vomit.
“Noooo!!!! Not.. hahahaha. Not –“
“Not enough,” Katy cut in. “I agree.”
A third set of fingernails wiggled around in his ears. Katy’s fingers finally let up on his ribs but immediately began spider-tickling both sides of his neck. He shook and thrashed his head trying to interrupt the tickling sensations that ran roughshod all over the most sensitive parts of his body.
Chase hadn’t considered himself very ticklish. Yes, once a babysitter pinned him to the kitchen floor and tickled him into a giggling mess when he called her a bitch. But since then, whenever someone had tried to tickle him it was more annoying than anything. Light tickles were no worse than a fly walking across his skin. When his ex-girlfriend dug her fingers into his ribs or armpits, it didn’t tickle, hurt, or anything really. Katy and her evil buddies obliterated his impression of himself. Every tiny touch scorched his nerves, even in places he’d never known could be ticklish. Katy’s dainty fingernails stroking him behind his ears made him thrash and howl as if on fire.
“My goodness, Amber,” Katy said. “I thought you said we got rid of the mosquitoes. He’s going to break his neck. If they won’t go away, at least you can keep him safe.”
The fingers on his feet stopped. He’d been so annoyed by the sensations on his head and neck that he’d forgotten how much his feet tickled. The split second of relief was overtaken by a pang of terror in his chest when he heard the ripping sound of Amber breaking off a piece of duct tape. She pinned his head to the bench with the tape. Unable to move his head now, the tickling on his neck, ears, cheeks, nostrils, eyelids became excruciating. Clever fingernails even tickled the insides of his lips as he laughed, making him want to stop that much more.
“Concentrate, Chase. Time’s a wastin’”
“How…..much….?”
“Only 10 more minutes, Chase. You got this!” The fingernails on his face and neck stopped. Even though Amber had developed an excellent technique for tickling his feet to maximum effect, he could hold back for a few split seconds every so often before weakening into another paroxysm of laughter. Katy Perry removed the blindfold and faced Chase directly, smiling, inches from his sweaty, panting mug.
“Having fun yet?” she said. She tickled his ribs in quick, irregular bursts and continued smiling at him.
“Round and round, the fingers go, where they stop…” she teased as she kept his tense body guessing, giggling and snickering with every stroke and poke. This technique was almost worse – just when he thought he could breathe, a light fingernail stroke or a grope in the right place broke him. It was like hyper-ventilating laughter.
“$10,000 Chase, you got this. In fact… Tricia. Put another $10k on there.” Tricia returned with another stack of bills.
“There’s a little more incentive. But that much, Chase, requires a bit more work on our part, too.” Katy motioned for Tricia to join again. She returned with two long, soft feathers and stroked his nipples while Katy circled a single finger in his ear, as if pondering what to do next. The feathers and Amber’s fingernails, scratching at the most sensitive parts of his toes with expert precision, overwhelmed him. He laughed so hard he thought his heart would burst. His face became bright red and tears streamed down his cheeks. His wrists hurt from trying to break free, they’d they’d used enough tape to pin down a gorilla. He wasn’t going anywhere.
Through all of this, Chase noticed that he had a more solid erection than he could remember. His penis buzzed with so much ecstatic tension; he thought a single stroke across the shaft would cause him to explode. As if she could read his thoughts, Katy began to slowly stroke the base of his scrotum with a single finger.
“Kitchy koo on your little pee-pee. You must be very happy, Chase. I mean, if someone gave you the opportunity to have Katy Perry tickle your balls, you’d probably pay them $20,000.”
“Let me go!” He managed to scream between fits of laughter. “I can’t take any more. STOP!!!” he yelled until Amber’s fingernails dancing on his slippery heels thrust him into howling laughter again. Katy smirked and tapped him on the tip of his nose.
“Someone is breaking down,” she said. She motioned for Tricia and Amber to stop. Chase, dripping with sweat, slumped over and tried to catch his breath. It was difficult to keep from blubbering like a little girl. Any more tickling may have had him in full tears. Katy stroked his cheek with the back of her hand.
“Poor little Chasey, Wasey,” she teased. “Only five minutes to go and he gave up. Little pussy, wussy, Chasey Wasey.” She tickled him under his chin with her index finger. What normally would have been a pleasant tease now felt like someone slicing his neck open.
“I’ll tell you what: you get a choice. I’ll let Amber tickle that little cock of yours until you cum so hard it takes you a week to think straight. Then we untie you and you get to go free with the story of your life. Or, you can hang on a little longer for the cash. Because I know you sure as hell can’t stop laughing for 10 measly seconds to sing, the normal rules are out. So I’ll change them. If you let us tickle you for 10 straight minutes, I’ll give you $20,000 anyway. But we won’t go easy on you this time.”
“God, how much worse can it get?” he said out loud to himself.
The three women smiled at each other, and his head hung like a deflated balloon. He shuddered and shook thinking about those awful hands and feathers all over him. Just imagining them almost made him laugh. All three girls turned to each other and giggled.
“If you have to ask, you don’t want to know. Honestly, I think you may have a heart attack. I heard someone died from tickle torture once.”
Amber relaxed against the mantel, the bottle of baby oil inches from her long fingers. She was the hottest woman he’d ever seen, and with one word he could summon those luscious fingers to close around his cock and release him from the most aching sexual tension he’d ever felt. They’d also end the tickle torture. He truly wasn’t sure if another 10 minutes of it would cause him to shit himself or pass out. Katy was right. He had heard stories about people dying from tickle torture in Ancient China. He didn’t want to go out strapped to a chair, covered in shit, heart attack caused by laughing. Pathetic!
“I can’t take any more tickling,” he said. “Can I, umm, Amber instead?”
“Of course,” Katy said. “But I must say I’m disappointed.”
Without a word, Amber crept toward him, lowered his shorts and slathered baby oil on his chest, thighs, back… every surface of his body except his face.
“I can see you wondering why I’m doing that,” she said. Her voice was like the warm hum of a vibrating massage chair. "I want you to enjoy this. I know how hard it was to give up that much money. You deserve it.”
He gazed into her bottomless green eyes, powerless to look away.
“Well, it wasn’t that hard,” he stammered.
She smiled at his overwhelmed, trembling voice.
“You’re cute. Mind if I kiss you?”
“Ummm, not at all.”
She closed in and nibbled at the top of his neck, just below his ear. Her hands caressed his shoulders and back while she massaged his exposed chest with her breasts. He couldn’t believe how the slightest difference in touch on the same body parts could turn from unbearable agony to ungodly pleasure. After teasing him to near madness, her nimble fingers trickled down his body like syrup and wrapped around his cock. The slippery, soft pads on her palms and gentle fingertips were too much to bear: he climaxed seconds after she began stroking it.
“That was quick!” Katy said. “Looks like someone’s been deprived for a loooong time. Was that your first time?”
“What? No. Can you let me out now?”
“Almost,” she said. She smirked and began circling him.
“Well, if it’s not your first time, then you’ll understand this: you know how after an orgasm, your penis gets super-sensitive? So sensitive it actually hurts to touch it?”
Chase fidgeted. Something’s not right.
“Do you know why that happens? For your protection. It’s Mother Nature’s way of telling your body you’ve had enough.” After circling him once, she stopped and faced him again.
“But did you ever notice how all parts of your body get hyper-sensitive? I’ve always wondered why. Is it a safety net? Just in case your dick isn’t loud enough, the rest of your body needs to warn you that you’re not ready for another round in the sack?”
“I don’t care,” Chase stammered. “Just friggin’ untie me already.”
Katy continued talking, as if she didn’t notice his voice. She reached out and scratched a weak spot on his ribs, chest, belly, hips, neck… then sliding her fingertip over his now oily and super-sensitive nipple. He gulped to suppress the growing urge to laugh. Even a quick stroke on his nipple seemed enough to get him started again.
“God is so brilliant, he even made your nipples warn you that you need protection after you orgasm. The problem is, Chase, I’ve got you tied up here, buddy. And that means you can feel all the warnings with no protection.”
He began to thrash like a maniac. “This is bullshit. You told me you’d let me go.”
“That’s another problem with being tied up. Someone can lie right to your face and there’s nothing you can do about it.” She seized his chin like a mother shushing her child and drew in close.
“I’ve been nice to you so far.” She squeezed harder. Something about the sudden aggression caused every muscle in his body to scream for escape. They knew a foreign force was about to inflict some kind of terrible pain on his defenseless body. The lack of a smile on her face made it worse. For the first time, he was truly afraid, even horrified.
“But you do need to be punished. Remember how you said I’m a moron… a piece of shit, and that you’ll tell your friends to tell their friends that my shows are overrated, a waste of money… that you’d laugh right in my pathetic face if you saw me. Well, you definitely are going to laugh in my face right now.”
“Please, Katy, I’m so sorry. I was drunk. You’re right. I know all your songs. I loved the show. I’m just… I’m…“
“Too afraid to admit it? I know. I hear it from little brats like you all the time.”
The three women closed in on him. “You’re still going to get your reward, though. Only 20 more minutes of this and you’re home free!”
His eyes bulged out and every toe and finger on his body involuntarily quivered with fear.
“You said 10 minutes.”
Katy giggled and set the timer on a smartphone.
“You’re right, just kidding.” The timer beeped.
“Surprise!!!”
The next ten minutes of Chase’s life was a complete blank. The three women, now fully educated in every ticklish spot on his body, destroyed and humiliated him, teasing and taunting him the entire time. The heightened sensitivity and body oil made the tickling so much more excruciating. Amber worked on his feet with her long delicate fingers, dancing them across his arches, heels, and between each toe. When he clenched them closed, she punished him by dragging a hairbrush across his soles and taunting him.
“I’ll stop if you open up those shy, ticklish little toes,” she would say. Even though his toes were just as ticklish, he had to let her in because the brush was too much.
“I’ll stop ticking there if you stop trying to grab my fingers with your toes,” she would then say. Now she wasn’t just physically dominating him, she was messing with his head. At first it pissed him off, but her incessant, skillful tickling destroyed his will to fight. The power of the defeated frustration administered by such an attractive woman made him want to cry. Why couldn't she just tease and hold me again, he thought. No man deserves this.
Tricia took care of his upper body. She was the best tickler, and he learned this was because she was an experienced massage therapist. She was relentless, offering him no breaks for the full 10 minutes. She realized it drove him most insane when switching from the unbearably annoying light underarm tickles with wiggling fingers to kneading his ribs and hips, with spider tickles on the belly in between. She always used two hands, and made sure each side of its body got its fair share.
But it was Katy who drove him insane. She had the pleasure of working on his hips, legs and inner thighs. Every squeeze anywhere in his groin area was like a lightning bolt from her fingertips into his brain. He wasn’t sure how many times he screamed for her to stop, but he did know he was hoarse for days afterward. He remembered the consistent desire for them to slap or punch or whack him with a crowbar instead – anything but the incessant tickling. The torture got him to say some pretty wild things:
“Katy, kick me in the balls,” he shrieked as her fingernails stroked the insides of his thighs.
“What?”
“Punish me like … hahahahahahaha … that. Anything….”
“Amber, he wants me to kick him in the balls as punishment,” she said, giggling.
“I heard. That would hurt too much. Why don’t you just tickle him instead?”
“Why didn’t I think of that?” Katy replied and went back to work on his thighs, causing him to thrash and scream. At one point they all had him laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe.
“God, make it stop! Please.” he managed to shriek before howling and coughing. Katy laughed.
“God’s not here right now, buddy. Just us gals. We’re your goddesses until we decide to stop.”
“Talking to God,” Tricia said. “I don’t think he’s thinking clearly.”
“You’re right. We don’t want to kill Chasey wasey. Almost done. Let’s give him a great encore.”
By the time the timer beeped, Chase was sobbing. He felt violated, humiliated. He could still feel their devilish fingers poking and scratching him minutes after they’d stopped. Katy placed her hand under his chin and coaxed his drooping head up so she could face him. She wiped the tears from his cheeks.
“We’re finally done, Chase, though I know you secretly loved every minute of it.”
He burst into tears. “I never want to see you again!”
“It’s ok to cry, Chasey Wasey. Get all the bad feelings out. Boo hoo, go on.”
“I never want to see you again,” he wailed again in a pathetic, pouty voice, as if he wasn’t aware he already said it.
After a minute or so, he composed himself. “Now, about the money…” he said. Through all the tickling, he didn’t notice that it was gone. Katy opened a drawer and removed from it two tickets and backstage passes on lanyards striped like candy canes.
“What the hell is that?”
“Two tickets for front row seats and backstage passes to my next show!” she said. Tricia arrived with sweatpants and a Katy Perry 2022 Tour t-shirt. Katy put the tickets and passes into his sweatpants.His face deadened and his eyes sank, as if he’d aged fifty years. “What about the money?”
“Are you kidding me? Two front row seats and backstage passes to my Vegas tour stop. And clothes signed by me. They are charging well over $20k for that.”
She kissed him on the cheek and stroked his chin one last time. Amber rolled a cart into the room. Atop it was a gas tank. She held his head still while Katy forced a mask over his nose and mouth.
“See you soon, Chasey wasey!” she said as he blacked out.
