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Do you have a favorite way to work tickling into a conversation?

B

brotherted

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Joined
Sep 19, 2002
Messages
712
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18
The scenario:
• Someone you're getting along with well, having a great conversation.
• Feeling excellent, positive rapport, and it's someone you've only just gotten to know.
• And specifically to yesterday... this was at a pool party, she was in a bikini sitting on the edge of the pool with her feet in the water, and I was standing in a shallow part of the pool, talking to her.

While I didn't mention ticking at all yesterday, since I couldn't think of exactly the right thing to say while I was there in the moment, I was thinking about it afterward and did develop a few ideas for the next time I'm in that situation. The goal of course, bring up tickling in a way that maximizes "open the door," while minimizing odds of perceived "creepiness," just in case the person I'm talking to is easily triggerable by the very idea of "fetish." (There was another woman there too, also in a bikini, and a guy... everyone in the water except the one woman.)

And I realize some people will come on here and comment how any mention of tickling at all in such a moment would be, by definition, peak creepy, stalker, pervy, sick, deplorable reprobate. &#55357;&#56834; Okay, got it. But for the rest of you, I'm curious: Do you have a best practices way you bring up tickling in conversation to an attractive normie?
 
Why not go for transparency? Like, asking if they’re into anything kinky. If so, mention yours, and if not, move on. Some people are happy to disclose this type of thing and you wouldn’t be deceiving anyone.
 
I ask what are the easiest ways to make u laugh most uncontrollably
 
I'd flirt with her until she playfully kicked water at me, escalate it by threatening repurcussions, then tickle her foot when she did it again.

Why just talk when you can do it?
 
My methods have changed over the years. Went from more of a direct approach in my earlier and bolder years to a much more subtle and potentially misleading way of bringing tickling into the conversation.

Back when I was in my pre-college years, I would just ask outright, "are you ticklish?" As I got older and smarter and realized that the outright question and conversation can creep people out, I went with a sort of direct approach but with a fun, game-like spin. I would ask the person to play a game of 20 questions or ask each other super random and silly questions and then drop the question. They would think I was just being silly and answer it.

To date though, the most effective method I have discovered which has worked for me with the minimum level of creepiness or suspicion the last several times I tried it is by bringing up the nail salon.

People enjoy compliments and obviously people go to the spa to get their nails done so others notice. I'll find some way to work the nail salon and manicures/pedicures into the conversation, usually by saying I have to go to the nail spa with my friend or girlfriend this week/weekend, and they will talk to me about getting my nails done. I will usually either lie and say I hate it because I'm so ticklish, which usually makes them laugh and they find it amusing or I will mention it's fun to go because I make fun of my friend/girlfriend who is sooo ticklish it's fun to watch. The person I am talking to will usually then admit that they themselves are extremely ticklish and they can relate, or I will ask them if they're ticklish and can relate. A lot of people, both men and women, go and get their nails done. It's not weird or creepy (assuming you are building a friendly rapport with the person and its not some total street stranger). As I said, to date, this is by far the most successful method I have found of bringing tickling into the conversation in one of the most innocent and inconspicuous ways possible.

If you're asking for a way to bring the rocking fetish into the conversation, well idk. That's a bit more of a challenge.
 
BlueLine7045 said:
To date though, the most effective method I have discovered which has worked for me with the minimum level of creepiness or suspicion the last several times I tried it is by bringing up the nail salon.
Click to expand...

What a great answer. This is the kind of idea I was hoping to get.

I could easily see how this could work in my own voice. Maybe I'd reference whether or not she was a detail-oriented girl... leading to a comment about her earrings or hair style... then saying, "I'm seeing your fingernails do, (or don't) show your attention to detail." Looking at her hands a bit on that. And then, "But the better test is whether your toenails show a pedicure-level situation." Depending on how the body language is going so far in the flirting, this could lead to me holding her foot on the premise of evaluating her pedicure... or even just discussing the pedicure process as you mentioned.

Well done.
 
brotherted said:
What a great answer. This is the kind of idea I was hoping to get.

I could easily see how this could work in my own voice. Maybe I'd reference whether or not she was a detail-oriented girl... leading to a comment about her earrings or hair style... then saying, "I'm seeing your fingernails do, (or don't) show your attention to detail." Looking at her hands a bit on that. And then, "But the better test is whether your toenails show a pedicure-level situation." Depending on how the body language is going so far in the flirting, this could lead to me holding her foot on the premise of evaluating her pedicure... or even just discussing the pedicure process as you mentioned.

Well done.
Click to expand...

This. Pedis are the answer.
 
I’ve managed to bring it up with women that I’ve had occasion to talk with, who spend a lot of time at their jobs, standing on their feet.
 
Toesheldback said:
This. Pedis are the answer.
Click to expand...

Yeah I mean you really can't lose with this route assuming you're not asking in a creepy way or just beating the topic into the ground. It's so simple. Compliment them on their nails and ask if they get them done and if it's relaxing. Great Segway into tickling. Either that or joke about being too ticklish for a pedicure. They've taken the bait every time. And if they don't volunteer the answer you're looking for, usually at this point it's not weird to ask "do pedicures tickle for you?" Or "are you ticklish?" Because it fits with the topic of discussion as opposed to asking about ticklishness out of nowhere
 
BlueLine7045 said:
Yeah I mean you really can't lose with this route assuming you're not asking in a creepy way or just beating the topic into the ground. It's so simple. Compliment them on their nails and ask if they get them done and if it's relaxing. Great Segway into tickling. Either that or joke about being too ticklish for a pedicure. They've taken the bait every time. And if they don't volunteer the answer you're looking for, usually at this point it's not weird to ask "do pedicures tickle for you?" Or "are you ticklish?" Because it fits with the topic of discussion as opposed to asking about ticklishness out of nowhere
Click to expand...

Yes. I'm not even a foot guy. But I still see the value of it, that by starting with a personality connection, like whether she's "detail oriented," is not only an extremely natural conversation hook, (most women enjoy offering their take on their own personalities), but then the fingernails, then toenails, then pedicure, then ticklishness transitions could all be presented as quite natural and not feel "pervy."
 
I mean, if you already have SOME kind of relationship which has evolved to flirting with this person, you might as well just claim your intention to see if they're ticklish and tease a mild tickle fight. As long as the attraction is mutual, you know their emotional boundaries for touch and don't do anything crazy, I see little harm done. If you're pretending it's for play and it's not, I already shared how I feel about that in another thread.

But if you don't really know them, and the only reason you're close to them at that moment is because they're entertaining your conversation out of politeness, even if curiosity enters your mind, I'd just let it go.

I'll explain why, because despite your foreword, an otherwise dead thread like this without any added conflicting opinions could lead to some people to do some thoughtless things.

There's a lot of women, as well as men, who get tired of being courted every 5 seconds when they're in public. And the truth that too many men don't seem to care about is that a lot of women NEVER wanted this kind of targeting and treatment in life.

Even if they don't show their irritation and disappointment then and there, the person you're talking to might NOT be handling conversation about them or their body well on the inside. People masking their objectification of them as a compliment makes some people angry, and while they may be in a mood to be friendly with you, they might really not need to deal with THAT conversation right now.

So if you're going to talk about tickling in an attempt to essentially have a conversation about sexuality with someone, make sure that you are looking at them as a person FIRST, not as a source of pleasure you want or what they can provide for you.

Because making sexual advances in conversation an issue for them because you're horny and you figure that they should be able to handle it for your sake is inconsiderate on your part.

For many women, to just be engaged in conversation as a person, not as a potential source of sexual pleasure or societal justification is much preferred. So, imagine for them, suddenly realizing that the conversation they thought you two were having was purely scholarly might have had ulterior motives or was "bait" as BlueLine7045 describes it. That can be upsetting and take away any remaining trust in men's intentions. You may have been one of the few men that they regarded as decent. Now, they may view any man that they find themselves "comfortable" with as possibly using them or lying to them.

The last thing I'd want to is be the reason that women have prejudice even for seemingly good-willed men.

Sure, you could make those kind of trusting relationships "opportunities" for you. Or, you could make them opportunities to change the conditioning done to women by men that at social gatherings or when wearing certain clothing that they should be open to being gawked at and approached by men for sexual reasons.

Personally, I'd rather take the few opportunities I have talking to women these days to maintain that we're connecting as people, not gender roles or tools, and that we deserve consideration to have sexuality left out of a conversation if we're not looking for it from each other.

I don't say these things because I'm "with" or "against" any side. Frankly, regardless of how polarized and at each other's throats people are now, I believe that respect and decency are values that should be upheld with all people. Because respect is indicative of intelligence, carries more wisdom and is the only hope for the aptitude of humanity to overcome obstacles peacefully, whereas depravity is reserved merely the sole option for the unintelligent.

I hope that people here choose to expand their wisdom of other people's experiences in life so they can do less harm.
 
Last edited:
Crefl1n said:
I mean, if you already have SOME kind of relationship which has evolved to flirting with this person, you might as well just claim your intention to see if they're ticklish and tease a mild tickle fight. As long as the attraction is mutual, you know their emotional boundaries for touch and don't do anything crazy, I see little harm done. If you're pretending it's for play and it's not, I already shared how I feel about that in another thread.

But if you don't really know them, and the only reason you're close to them at that moment is because they're entertaining your conversation out of politeness, even if curiosity enters your mind, I'd just let it go.

I'll explain why, because despite your foreword, an otherwise dead thread like this without any added conflicting opinions could lead to some people to do some thoughtless things.

There's a lot of women, as well as men, who get tired of being courted every 5 seconds when they're in public. And the truth that too many men don't seem to care about is that a lot of women NEVER wanted this kind of targeting and treatment in life.

Even if they don't show their irritation and disappointment then and there, the person you're talking to might NOT be handling conversation about them or their body well on the inside. People masking their objectification of them as a compliment makes some people angry, and while they may be in a mood to be friendly with you, they might really not need to deal with THAT conversation right now.

So if you're going to talk about tickling in an attempt to essentially have a conversation about sexuality with someone, make sure that you are looking at them as a person FIRST, not as a source of pleasure you want or what they can provide for you.

Because making sexual advances in conversation an issue for them because you're horny and you figure that they should be able to handle it for your sake is inconsiderate on your part.

For many women, to just be engaged in conversation as a person, not as a potential source of sexual pleasure or societal justification is much preferred. So, imagine for them, suddenly realizing that the conversation they thought you two were having was purely scholarly might have had ulterior motives or was "bait" as BlueLine7045 describes it. That can be upsetting and take away any remaining trust in men's intentions. You may have been one of the few men that they regarded as decent. Now, they may view any man that they find themselves "comfortable" with as possibly using them or lying to them.

The last thing I'd want to is be the reason that women have prejudice even for seemingly good-willed men.

Sure, you could make those kind of trusting relationships "opportunities" for you. Or, you could make them opportunities to change the conditioning done to women by men that at social gatherings or when wearing certain clothing that they should be open to being gawked at and approached by men for sexual reasons.

Personally, I'd rather take the few opportunities I have talking to women these days to maintain that we're connecting as people, not gender roles or tools, and that we deserve consideration to have sexuality left out of a conversation if we're not looking for it from each other.

I don't say these things because I'm "with" or "against" any side. Frankly, regardless of how polarized and at each other's throats people are now, I believe that respect and decency are values that should be upheld with all people. Because respect is indicative of intelligence, carries more wisdom and is the only hope for the aptitude of humanity to overcome obstacles peacefully, whereas depravity is reserved merely the sole option for the unintelligent.

I hope that people here choose to expand their wisdom of other people's experiences in life so they can do less harm.
Click to expand...

This isn't really about courting; this is about interactions where someone is looking to get a little charge out of it, without letting on that they have a fetish, or risking seeming like a creep. If a guy were a breast man, finding a moment to take a good look at woman's chest (without her noticing he's doing it) would be a similar scenario. Women do it, too...I've had plenty slap my chest and leave a hand on for a moment while laughing at a joke, or squeeze an
arm to see if I'd flex. Normies do it, too.
 
Wolf said:
This isn't really about courting; this is about interactions where someone is looking to get a little charge out of it, without letting on that they have a fetish, or risking seeming like a creep. If a guy were a breast man, finding a moment to take a good look at woman's chest (without her noticing he's doing it) would be a similar scenario.
Click to expand...

Ehhh… I’d say it’s more akin to asking (or sneakily trying to figure out) a woman’s bra size than simply looking at her chest.
 
It could be even trickier if you're a guy like me who loves tickling other guys.

For me, the first and absolutely foremost factor is making sure he's never freaked out at any time. One thing I do repeatedly and consistently is to compliment men. Whether it's a funny T-shirt, cool button, nice shoes, nice hairdo--anything that will boost his confidence, I'll do it. Most people will hear a dozen negative comments before a single positive one, so this action is kindness in play and gets them to smile.

Now if it's related for feet/tickling, then I'll compliment a guy's shoes, decorated socks or cool sandals. Every guy whose footwear I've complimented took it well and thanked me. Every. one. What I feel this does is give less stigma towards feet and how men are supposed to be disgusted by them. It's also a gentle way of showing that others will look and that foot fetishism is pretty darn widespread.

I will often say to a barefoot guy wearing flip flops how cool it is to finally have warm weather to wear them. Once again, they'll take it in stride and agree, smile and perhaps take up further conversation.

As far as conversations specifically about tickling is concerned, I don't bring up the subject unless the other guy says something that can make it easier as a topic. For instance, if a guy has an ankle cast and I bring up that I broke my ankle before (true fact), I can ask if the exam when okay and it didn't hurt or tickle. There was one guy at a club who, when I complimented his shoes, told me outright they tickled his feet! Surprised the hell out of me.

For the most part, however, it's much easier for me to bring up tickling with a guy I've befriended rather than a total stranger. Easing into it comfortably, I found is the best way and many guys have allowed me to tickle them and remained friends.

After developing my card & dice game "Kinksters", I've found that many guys have been open with me about their fetishes. I think they do like to find a way to express them without embarrassment or judgement. I'm trying to do my part. :)
 
Jezebel Lee said:
Ehhh… I’d say it’s more akin to asking (or sneakily trying to figure out) a woman’s bra size than simply looking at her chest.
Click to expand...

If you see this as akin to asking a woman's bra size, then you're imagining it being done wrong, versus imagining it being done well.

The nature of flirting isn't about avoiding all discussion that ever be possibly construed as sexual, until some later step function point where you suddenly admit all desires, fetishes and lustful intentions. It's the opposite of a step function, either/or. It's a continuum.
 
In the case of this hypothetical bra size scenario/continuum:

Everybody's ability to perceive how a continuum is changing varies.

One person may have more ability at that moment to see further where things are leading than others.

Some people get a bad feeling when they perceive how things are developing, and as a result, will suddenly leave a situation altogether.

In layman's terms, a mundane conversation that starts alluding to underwear is not going to go over most people's heads any more than a conversation where the focus starts becoming their body or tickling.

And this can also be because of factors such as previous trauma or trust issues, which should be more reason why you should carefully consider the consequences of who, when and HOW you bring a topic like this up with people.

What we're talking about here is potentially more irritating than flirting. Technically, FLIRTING is not a secretive thing. It's letting a person KNOW that your interest/desire for them in a romantic/sexual way, or in a relationship.

With all due respect, your thread is not really about flirting, it's about manipulating a person into taking part in a conversation about tickling. A conversation which, by itself, would probably not be so offensive if you were forthcoming about why you were talking to them and gave THEM the power to decide that they're either comfortable further talking with you about it or not.

Many people HATE underhanded tactics when you're communicating with them. Once they realize that a person was deceiving, and furthermore, targeting them, it not only says a lot about how much you really respect their intelligence and them as an individual, but also what the relationship will do for them and their self-view in the long run, causing them to leave.

If you value your friends, treat them well.
 
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