CapturedDoll
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- Joined
- Jul 27, 2014
- Messages
- 4,970
- Points
- 83
I see people asking questions about... how to introduce Tickling to someone... and... how to accept being into Tickling overall. And Tickling itself. I see SO MANY GREAT ANSWERS... I feel they are getting lost in the pile of threads over time. I really think we should have a thread handy (possibly a sticky?) that the best quotes from the members can be added to... and linked to handily when asked for.
*Please understand some quotes will be in direct opposition to each other. At the end of the day...it is up to the reader to figure out what is best for them.
I will be adding to this when I see something. And... I have already added a few I feel have merit. Now... I highlighted and took pieces of conversations that focused on the overall point from this week. If you would rather me include the entirety of your post please let me know and I will edit appropriately. I'm also doing this because I see members getting very frustrated with having to answer the same questions time and time again. Please always add the Users name, date, and time. That way they receive credit and if people want to see more of the Member's post etc they can look it up. Quotes obviously can and will be deleted upon request.
So... let's cut to the chase and make a Best Of thread!
08-24-2016, 12:12 PM
TXDFW90
"You don't even necessarily have to verbally express it at first. When me and my girlfriend first started dating, I would randomly work in some snuggling tickles to her or tease her sides when we kissed. Ive never had to say "I have a tickling fetish" Its just implied in my behavior that I like it and it feels good.
Eventually I started pinning her down lightly and teasing/tickling her lightly. Then one day, several weeks into being together, I asked her to let me tie her down and if she'd tie me down (for both sex and tickling) and she tried it out. Shes into it! and even admitted "I can see why you like this..."
She may never like it as much as I do, but its growing on her and she's discovering she likes it more and more because:
1) She's nice, open, and non-judgmental
2) I went about it in a controlled, open, slightly vulnerable way without being too obsessed or embarrassed or zealous about it
I'd say- go about it like its not a big deal (cause its really not). Slowly incorporate it early in the relationship and begin to tell her that you like doing it but dont over do it.
If she kinda likes it, then great! and maybe you both can build on that. If not, then you may want to look for someone else if its really important to you."
Yesterday, 02:34 AM
Mr-Tickle
"Same way you achieve anything socially with women, whether as friends or lovers. By being fun, confident, making them feel safe, and just being a good human being."
08-23-2016, 08:45 AM
chicago
"The worst thing to do is bring it up in an ashamed embarrassed way. I think it makes things a bit too serious and the conversation to follow tends to be colored by that negativity."
08-10-2016, 05:38 PM
matt62
"There is no doubt that there seem to be different styles and approaches to tickling that are connected with different kinds of temperament. It has come as quite a surprise to me to learn that, for a lot of ticklephiles, tickling is an entirely lighthearted and purely pleasurable activity, even if it is very compelling. For me, tickling has always had its hold on me precisely because I associate it with an element of what you might call sadism - that is, not exactly the inflicting of pain, but playing seriously with issues of control and mercilessly exploiting vulnerability.
A complicating factor for me, in fact, is that ultimately I am not ruthless enough by temperament to be able to take my urge to tickle to the extremes that another part of me wants to do. My conscience demands that I get complete consent for what I want to do, and I have trouble believing that the ticklee could truly be consenting to what my darker side really wants...This can be very inhibiting!
So I end up fluctuating somewhere between the lighthearted, fun-loving tickler and the ruthless sadistic tickler, with opposing forces pulling me in the two directions. But it is clear that I and a lot of other people make a connection between tickling and the desire to flirt with some deep and dark regions of the erotic."
08-10-2016, 07:54 PM
Myriads: Tzar of the TMF
It's handy to know the definition of Sadism:
1) "The tendency to derive pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from inflicting pain, suffering, or humiliation on others."
and
2) (in general use) deliberate cruelty.
It's important to note that there is no moral modifier involved, and said moral positioning is based on the observers definition of 'cruelty', 'suffering' etc.
Thus a sadist can be Moral, Amoral, or Neutral. Thus when we seek to define a tickling sadist, we can ignore the moral aspects of the individual.
This leaves us with a Tickling Sadist being one who enjoys and derives pleasure from using tickling to inflict distress, suffering, or humiliation on others. I'll leave it to the reader how a Moral Sadist, an Amoral Sadist, or a Neutral Sadist would go about this as an amusing thought exercise. All could. All would differ from each other.
Hint. It involves the concept of limits. "
Today, 02:42 AM #5
baker_ben
"Well the best idea is to just talk to him about it. I understand being kind of embarrassed but I think there's a good chance he'll love it. Do you want to be tickled, tickle him, or both? Because whatever it is I think a lot of guys would love the chance to have their hands all over their girlfriends body making her laugh, and some would like their girlfriend doing the same to them even if they don't have a thing for tickling.
If you don't want to tell him just yet, just try briefly tickling him sometimes and see what his reaction is. Like someone else said when you're cuddling is a good time or when he's paying attention to something else you can surprise attack him. If he laughs and seems like he likes it then that's a good sign. If he gets annoyed then don't keep doing it because some people truly hate being tickled so you don't want to do something he doesn't like, but he still might want to tickle you."
8/26/2016 01:52 AM
sharp123
"So this is just my own experience, maybe it'll help. I just went for total honesty. Not in a weird or aggressive way, but simply just told her during pillow talk. I asked her likes and dislikes and I told her mine. And told her how much fun it was for me and she totally embraced it. Her actual words were "holy f*ck that sounds nuts, lets try it" lol and the other thing it made me realize was if you're with someone that cares about you, they want to make you happy. Not be judgmental." : )
08-15-2016, 12:09 PM
The Internet
"But there is mystery in touching it. And hunting that reaction, and coaxing it out.....honing your skills, learning about the human body......interacting with it rather than just ogling it........interacting with the person, they are an alive person, not just an object.....ah, that's our life's work, right?" 😉
08-12-2016, 05:00 PM
chicago
"It makes sense, but the approach of playing coy games and just tickling someone in hopes they'll read your mind and come to the conclusion that you get turned on by tickling is leaving a lot to chance and the possibility of a misunderstanding.
I prefer to be direct so there's no confusion. "
08-07-2016, 04:41 PM
Rectangle
Try skipping the word "fetish" altogether.
I've gone all out before and went deep on the question.
Something like..
"Tickling is the ultimate form of affection for me. The ultimate act of trust. You're placing yourself in someone else's hands, becoming vulnerable.
When you're being tickled, nothing else exists but that moment. You have no control of what you're doing, your mind is blank, your own body ignores your commands.
It's... freedom. Freedom from yourself.
Nobody being tickled is concerned with how they look, what you think, what they think, anything else.
You're seeing that person without pretense, fully human with no walls up in that moment.
There's an intimacy in that. In stripping away those layers of control that we've erected around ourselves.
There's an intimate trust as well in letting someone else strip those layers away from you.
It's like you're a machine and for a brief moment in time, you hand the controls to someone you care for and just..let go.
And in turn, they get to see you at your most base, primal, and human level.
Pure reflex, pure reaction, pure instinct.
Pure human.
I find that beautiful."
Then she either says "Wow, I've never thought this deeply about tickling before, I actually feel you.."
..or..
"Not for me, sorry."
The last girl I went into it with like that wound up becoming my wife and wants to be involved in "the scene" now.
So..it worked at least once in history."
07-13-2016, 01:27 AM
Tenebrae
"I don't really think there is any typical one "tickler personality", just like with other fantasies. I am a very nice guy, yet I do have this rather extreme sadistic side to my fantasies. I've know shy and introvert ticklers, others outgoing and outspoken. I've known a tickler who is a total geek working in IT for a big firm, another one who's a stage actor and displays at all times the bravado of a Shakespearian character. Really I did not observe any traits that would be common to all. "
07-09-2016, 10:25 PM
kucheeku
"I'm openly gay and love m/m tickling. However, it doesn't mean that I have sex with every guy I tickle. I don't want to.
For me, tickling is an activity I can enjoy on its own. Despite the fact that overlap (as discussed in this thread) may be a factor, what you do with that overlap is key. Erections can occur during many things: cuddling, massages, hugging, kissing, even riding on a bus for some guys. It's going to be up to each individual guy as to what to do once the boner kicks in.
I prefer to tickle guys without the expectation that he's going to have an orgasm. It puts less demand on me for "performance" and more of a relaxed attitude towards concentrating on tickling.
Also, I've used casual tickling as a way to enhance the friendships of my male friends for whom I have no interest in sex whatsoever. I truly believe that males don't share physical compassion towards each other enough in this society. Casual tickling, I believe, helps with that.
Tickling with the intent of a more sexual outcome (which I refer to as tickling sessions) are more demanding of trust, negotiation, consent and agreed limits.
For me, understanding what's necessary for casual tickling and tickling sessions has helped me to separate the two and enjoy both on their own levels. Being able to process both is crucial to having male ticklees trust me and develop true friendships I like to nurture. "
*Please understand some quotes will be in direct opposition to each other. At the end of the day...it is up to the reader to figure out what is best for them.
I will be adding to this when I see something. And... I have already added a few I feel have merit. Now... I highlighted and took pieces of conversations that focused on the overall point from this week. If you would rather me include the entirety of your post please let me know and I will edit appropriately. I'm also doing this because I see members getting very frustrated with having to answer the same questions time and time again. Please always add the Users name, date, and time. That way they receive credit and if people want to see more of the Member's post etc they can look it up. Quotes obviously can and will be deleted upon request.
So... let's cut to the chase and make a Best Of thread!
08-24-2016, 12:12 PM TXDFW90
"You don't even necessarily have to verbally express it at first. When me and my girlfriend first started dating, I would randomly work in some snuggling tickles to her or tease her sides when we kissed. Ive never had to say "I have a tickling fetish" Its just implied in my behavior that I like it and it feels good.
Eventually I started pinning her down lightly and teasing/tickling her lightly. Then one day, several weeks into being together, I asked her to let me tie her down and if she'd tie me down (for both sex and tickling) and she tried it out. Shes into it! and even admitted "I can see why you like this..."
She may never like it as much as I do, but its growing on her and she's discovering she likes it more and more because:
1) She's nice, open, and non-judgmental
2) I went about it in a controlled, open, slightly vulnerable way without being too obsessed or embarrassed or zealous about it
I'd say- go about it like its not a big deal (cause its really not). Slowly incorporate it early in the relationship and begin to tell her that you like doing it but dont over do it.
If she kinda likes it, then great! and maybe you both can build on that. If not, then you may want to look for someone else if its really important to you."
Yesterday, 02:34 AM Mr-Tickle
"Same way you achieve anything socially with women, whether as friends or lovers. By being fun, confident, making them feel safe, and just being a good human being."
08-23-2016, 08:45 AM chicago
"The worst thing to do is bring it up in an ashamed embarrassed way. I think it makes things a bit too serious and the conversation to follow tends to be colored by that negativity."
08-10-2016, 05:38 PM matt62
"There is no doubt that there seem to be different styles and approaches to tickling that are connected with different kinds of temperament. It has come as quite a surprise to me to learn that, for a lot of ticklephiles, tickling is an entirely lighthearted and purely pleasurable activity, even if it is very compelling. For me, tickling has always had its hold on me precisely because I associate it with an element of what you might call sadism - that is, not exactly the inflicting of pain, but playing seriously with issues of control and mercilessly exploiting vulnerability.
A complicating factor for me, in fact, is that ultimately I am not ruthless enough by temperament to be able to take my urge to tickle to the extremes that another part of me wants to do. My conscience demands that I get complete consent for what I want to do, and I have trouble believing that the ticklee could truly be consenting to what my darker side really wants...This can be very inhibiting!
So I end up fluctuating somewhere between the lighthearted, fun-loving tickler and the ruthless sadistic tickler, with opposing forces pulling me in the two directions. But it is clear that I and a lot of other people make a connection between tickling and the desire to flirt with some deep and dark regions of the erotic."
08-10-2016, 07:54 PM Myriads: Tzar of the TMF
It's handy to know the definition of Sadism:
1) "The tendency to derive pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from inflicting pain, suffering, or humiliation on others."
and
2) (in general use) deliberate cruelty.
It's important to note that there is no moral modifier involved, and said moral positioning is based on the observers definition of 'cruelty', 'suffering' etc.
Thus a sadist can be Moral, Amoral, or Neutral. Thus when we seek to define a tickling sadist, we can ignore the moral aspects of the individual.
This leaves us with a Tickling Sadist being one who enjoys and derives pleasure from using tickling to inflict distress, suffering, or humiliation on others. I'll leave it to the reader how a Moral Sadist, an Amoral Sadist, or a Neutral Sadist would go about this as an amusing thought exercise. All could. All would differ from each other.
Hint. It involves the concept of limits. "
Today, 02:42 AM #5 baker_ben
"Well the best idea is to just talk to him about it. I understand being kind of embarrassed but I think there's a good chance he'll love it. Do you want to be tickled, tickle him, or both? Because whatever it is I think a lot of guys would love the chance to have their hands all over their girlfriends body making her laugh, and some would like their girlfriend doing the same to them even if they don't have a thing for tickling.
If you don't want to tell him just yet, just try briefly tickling him sometimes and see what his reaction is. Like someone else said when you're cuddling is a good time or when he's paying attention to something else you can surprise attack him. If he laughs and seems like he likes it then that's a good sign. If he gets annoyed then don't keep doing it because some people truly hate being tickled so you don't want to do something he doesn't like, but he still might want to tickle you."
8/26/2016 01:52 AM sharp123
"So this is just my own experience, maybe it'll help. I just went for total honesty. Not in a weird or aggressive way, but simply just told her during pillow talk. I asked her likes and dislikes and I told her mine. And told her how much fun it was for me and she totally embraced it. Her actual words were "holy f*ck that sounds nuts, lets try it" lol and the other thing it made me realize was if you're with someone that cares about you, they want to make you happy. Not be judgmental." : )
08-15-2016, 12:09 PMThe Internet
"But there is mystery in touching it. And hunting that reaction, and coaxing it out.....honing your skills, learning about the human body......interacting with it rather than just ogling it........interacting with the person, they are an alive person, not just an object.....ah, that's our life's work, right?" 😉
08-12-2016, 05:00 PM chicago
"It makes sense, but the approach of playing coy games and just tickling someone in hopes they'll read your mind and come to the conclusion that you get turned on by tickling is leaving a lot to chance and the possibility of a misunderstanding.
I prefer to be direct so there's no confusion. "
08-07-2016, 04:41 PM Rectangle
Try skipping the word "fetish" altogether.
I've gone all out before and went deep on the question.
Something like..
"Tickling is the ultimate form of affection for me. The ultimate act of trust. You're placing yourself in someone else's hands, becoming vulnerable.
When you're being tickled, nothing else exists but that moment. You have no control of what you're doing, your mind is blank, your own body ignores your commands.
It's... freedom. Freedom from yourself.
Nobody being tickled is concerned with how they look, what you think, what they think, anything else.
You're seeing that person without pretense, fully human with no walls up in that moment.
There's an intimacy in that. In stripping away those layers of control that we've erected around ourselves.
There's an intimate trust as well in letting someone else strip those layers away from you.
It's like you're a machine and for a brief moment in time, you hand the controls to someone you care for and just..let go.
And in turn, they get to see you at your most base, primal, and human level.
Pure reflex, pure reaction, pure instinct.
Pure human.
I find that beautiful."
Then she either says "Wow, I've never thought this deeply about tickling before, I actually feel you.."
..or..
"Not for me, sorry."
The last girl I went into it with like that wound up becoming my wife and wants to be involved in "the scene" now.
So..it worked at least once in history."
07-13-2016, 01:27 AM Tenebrae
"I don't really think there is any typical one "tickler personality", just like with other fantasies. I am a very nice guy, yet I do have this rather extreme sadistic side to my fantasies. I've know shy and introvert ticklers, others outgoing and outspoken. I've known a tickler who is a total geek working in IT for a big firm, another one who's a stage actor and displays at all times the bravado of a Shakespearian character. Really I did not observe any traits that would be common to all. "
07-09-2016, 10:25 PM kucheeku
"I'm openly gay and love m/m tickling. However, it doesn't mean that I have sex with every guy I tickle. I don't want to.
For me, tickling is an activity I can enjoy on its own. Despite the fact that overlap (as discussed in this thread) may be a factor, what you do with that overlap is key. Erections can occur during many things: cuddling, massages, hugging, kissing, even riding on a bus for some guys. It's going to be up to each individual guy as to what to do once the boner kicks in.
I prefer to tickle guys without the expectation that he's going to have an orgasm. It puts less demand on me for "performance" and more of a relaxed attitude towards concentrating on tickling.
Also, I've used casual tickling as a way to enhance the friendships of my male friends for whom I have no interest in sex whatsoever. I truly believe that males don't share physical compassion towards each other enough in this society. Casual tickling, I believe, helps with that.
Tickling with the intent of a more sexual outcome (which I refer to as tickling sessions) are more demanding of trust, negotiation, consent and agreed limits.
For me, understanding what's necessary for casual tickling and tickling sessions has helped me to separate the two and enjoy both on their own levels. Being able to process both is crucial to having male ticklees trust me and develop true friendships I like to nurture. "
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Thanks for the shout out~
