Dilbertisms..........

The World Acording To Dilbert




I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day.Tomorrow isn't looking good, either.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing then again.

I don't have an attitude problem.You have a perception problem.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, Where the heck is the ceiling?

My Reality Check bounced.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons: you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup

Dilbert Toon

Boss: This is Ben, our new fast-track management trainee. He doesen't know anything, but he's very tall, so we know he'll do well.
Ben: I have executive style hair, too.
Boss: We think it will turn silver.

That's heartbreaking, because it's true. How many times have you seen a bullshit artist promoted because he's tall, fit-looking, has good dental work and plenty of hair, and looks good in a suit? At a former employer's management dinner, one of those clowns was named "Engineer of the Year". The whole crowd roared with laughter - instantly cut off when we realized that they were serious.

Strelnikov

Corporate Life...

I do NOT miss that crap...it's a scary world and once I realized how the "game' worked it just discouraged me tremendously, wherupon I set out to be an independent and found out that most of those operaters are in business in SPITE of their stupidity as well...strange world guys, and getting stranger. Q